music

26.2 Songs in the Key of Life

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

Today is my birthday. I am turning 44.

I’m not sure how much longer I will be alive. Not only am I on the euthanasia list, but the American government is actively engaged in genocide with a level 3 biohazard known as covid. We are experiencing a 9/11 worth of covid deaths daily, yet the government says the pandemic is “over.” So many people are dying of covid here, they are being put in mass graves.

But to be optimistic on my birthday, I am hoping to live to age 60 to outlive the cats. I need to be able to take care of them and keep them together.

Before the pandemic, when I bought the house, I decided it was time to take care of some important planning as part of being a responsible adult. I wrote my own obituary and outlined my wishes for my funeral. At the time, I considered this “long term planning.”

Part of my planning was that I came up with a playlist of songs that represent my life. I chose 26.2 songs. A marathon is 26.2 miles. I am a marathon runner. There are 26 randoms songs. The .2 are two Christmas songs, kind of as a bonus. My plan was for the playlist to be played at my funeral for people to have something to remember me by and as a way to have insight into my life.

Given that so many people now are just being thrown into mass graves with all of the covid deaths, I highly doubt I will have a funeral or a death how I want it.

I have decided that on my birthday I want to post my playlist today. I want people to celebrate my life. Every day I am alive is a precious gift. I just want to outlive my cats.

I am quite sure that even if I live for another 15 or 20 years and then die, that my playlist will be the same. These are truly songs that tell the story of my life.

I am giving you the annotated version in random order. The songs are not in any particular order. I will post a link to the YouTube version of the song linked to the song title if you want to listen to my playlist. Each song has a brief description of why it has been chosen.

So today on my birthday, I want to celebrate life by sharing with you the 26.2 songs in the key of my life with you. Enjoy. Celebrate being alive. Life is precious and so fleeting.

Hey, Jude by The Beatles (album version)

This is the song that inspired my baby name. Jude did indeed live up to his name. He came into my life at a very challenging time and “took a sad song and made it better.”

Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

This song has been in the background of my life for as long as I remember. It has echoed off the mountains of the Adirondacks. I named a room in my house after this song. I have just lived it and felt it as a part of me always. From childhood to death. I was not as strong as you think. I have always “wished you were here,” but I honestly never knew who I was wishing for because people always flowed through my life like water. 

Dream On by Aerosmith

Another song that reflects my life. It’s also about hockey. Every time I hear it, I think of the movie “Miracle.” I  love to read. “Half my life is on book’s written pages.”

Going Out in Style by Dropkick Murphys

This was my theme song when I finally completed my bachelor’s degree at Binghamton University in 2011 after having spent 15 year fighting for a 4-year degree while working 2-3 jobs. It also describes exactly what I want for my funeral: “You can take my urn to Fenway spread my ashes all about.”

Old Blue Chair by Kenny Chesney

Wow. This is my Cranberry song. It is my life song. I have literally lived every single lyric in this song. I have “seen the world through a bus windshield.” I spend every Cranberry sitting in an old blue chair. I have often been there to “let go of a lover who took a piece of my heart.” I have fallen asleep in that blue chair and “woke up to a million mesquito bites.” I have lived this song more than any other. It was so hard picking a Kenny song, as he is one of my top 3 favorite artists, but this is my song.

Somewhere on A Beach by Dierks Bentley

In my dreams. This is the song for when I want to give a middle finger to the world. Plus, it is the perfect beach day song for my many day road trips to the state parks.

For What It’s Worth by Stevie Nicks

This is another song I have lived. This is for my first New York girlfriend. Thank you for breaking the geography barrier for me and for teaching me that I am who I am no matter where I am and that is completely okay. “I got to sing, I got to dance, I got to be a part of a great romance, still forbidden, still outrageous …” 

Drumming Song by Florence & the Machine

This was for when I reclaimed my childhood by taking drum lessons. This song healed my heart when Kip died. This song healed my heart when Kitty died. I have cried to this song. I have made love to this song. I fell down the stairs (due to my disability) when this song was playing. I danced around the living room (with wine) to this song. It was hard to pick which Flo song to put on this list, but it had to be this one. This song has seen me through good and bad. “Sweeter than Heaven and hotter than Hell” 

The Ones That Like Me by Brantley Gilbert

Pretty much. You would not believe how many people have called me a bitch to my face. So whether you’re here to toast me in respect or spit on my grave, this is for you. “The ones that need me, got me. The ones that doubt me can’t stop me.”

Cheers (Drink to that) by Rihanna

This is the song that I play when driving north for my annual ADK camping trip. It reminds me of the little outside bar in the middle of the woods that you could only get to by hiking. 

Snow on the Beach by Taylor Swift

Many of my best memories come from the beach in winter. Whether it was surfing the waves or just watching a storm come in, I loved being on the oceans and the lakes. I always joke that Taylor should come to the rainbow side and would be my future ex-wife. Her best albums are Lover and Midnights. So I had to include a T.Swift song. This one just brings back wonderful memories of the cottage on Cayuga Lake and the Kennedy Compound on Cape Cod.

Pocketful of Miracles by Frank Sinatra

    This was my theme song for the brief moments in time when I received respite from my disability. It’s how I think about life and I was so happy to be alive and be able to do what I wanted to do. 

    Love & Affection by Def Leppard

    Def Leppard is my most favorite band of all time. I fell in love with them at 8 years old. I saw them in concert twice. It was so hard to choose, when I love 99% of the songs they’ve ever done. But this one rings true for me and has since I was a child.

    Jolene by Dolly Parton

      I love Dolly. It was hard choosing one of her songs. This is the song that inspired my baby name. Jolene was auburn and white. This is one of the most misunderstood songs in music history. To truly get why this song has spoke to my soul, you need to listen to a podcast called “Dolly Parton’s America” from WNYC Studios (2019) episode 6: “The Only One for Me, Jolene.”

      Roll with the Changes by REO Speedwagon

      The very first time I went to Boston was in high school back in the 90s for Harvard Model Congress. I had flown up from Virginia and was rooming with this chick who completely blew my mind from Chicago. We listened to REO on vinyl and shared strawberry shortcake at Hard Rock. Of all REO songs, this one exemplifies my life. “If you’re tired of the same old story, turn some pages.” 

      Everything About it is a Love Song by Paul Simon

        For my son, Simon. Simon’s name came from many places. It came from Paul Simon, Simon as the character in The Saint, so we had the physics connection with the other kids, and also the Chipmunks. Although, sometimes with his mischief, I would joke he should have been named Alvin. Simon is one of the five most important loves of my life.

        Love Me Like Music (I’ll Be Your Song) by Heart

        This is another song I have lived. This is for my Kennedy Compound secret that we kept for over 20 years. You made me crawl through the window because I would not commit. Yet, my surfboard lived in the garage when I returned from Cali. In memory of days in P-town, nights in Truro and endless sand. All I can say is “thank you.” I left a part of my heart on Kalmus Beach and in at least one part of heaven, I’ll be riding the waves there once again. You were the harmony to my melody. 

        Burnin’ It Down by Jason Aldean

          This reminds me of the person who held my heart in their hands since we were 8 years old. Thank you for giving me some of my best and most memorable birthdays in my 30s. You chose cocaine over me. I’m not judging, I’m not sad, I’m not mad. I was still here for you until I took my last breath. I hope you know that. 

          Come Away With Me by Norah Jones

          This is for the person who not only provided me safe harbor in the storm, but also gave me the strength to stand on my own two feet on the shore without getting pummeled by waves. You taught me to surf. You taught me about wine. You gave me freedom, light and love. Then, you moved on, and it was okay. Thank you for changing my life and giving me the skills I needed to readjust my sails. I listened to this song every Cranberry morning after I met you. You showed me the beauty of lake and ocean in winter. 

            Drive In Drive Out by Dave Matthews Band

            This song describes what I went through going back and forth between Massachusetts and New York for decades. Every time I crossed the border back into New York, it broke my heart. I was crying so hard, it’s a wonder I did not get ticketed more than what I did.

            Lose Yourself by Eminem

            This was my running theme song for the first half of my running career. I had claimed it before it became popular with the rest of the running community. I grew up in poverty. I know exatly what this song was talking about. Running was my one chance in life to be great.

            Remember The Name by Fort Minor

            This was my running theme song for the second half of my running career. It outlines exactly what it takes to run a marathon. When your body gives out, you run with your heart.

            What You Give by Tesla

            This song reminds me of growing up, but especially, high school. I’ve always believed this to be true, even in the times when I felt I had nothing more to give. “It ain’t the life you choose, but the life you live.”

            Settling Down by Miranda Lambert

            This song describes the existential crisis I experienced my entire life from the moment I could think. I have always oscillated between happiness being found on the highway or parked in the driveway. 

            Forty Hour Week for a livin’ by Alabama

            This song reminds me of my childhood. It reminds me of my grandfather working his farm and teaching me that the most important thing in life is to work hard to provide for your family. You have to work hard so you can love. I spent 25 years working 60-80 hour weeks trying to make ends meet before my disability made me slow down to 40 hours a week. I would not have made it if not for the lessons my grandfather taught me. 

            Record Year by Eric Church

            This is what I am giving you. A three inch stack of vinyl with songs in the key of my life. I loved vinyl. 

            The point 2 (Christmas)

            Little Drummer Boy by Jars of Clay

            This is my favorite Christmas song by my favorite Christian rock band. I love the bass on it. The drums on this song is how the little drummer boy is supposed to sound.

              Old City Bar by Trans-Siberian Orchestra

              This song reminds me of Cheers. Beyond that, listen to the lyrics and take it with you.

              Minimalism – Entertainment Media Part 2

              / rachelgoes262 / 3 Comments

              Back in February 2022, I had written this post about my minimalism goals for my entertainment media this year.  To be honest, I have surprised myself with the progress I have made in this area, as CDs and DVDs are some of the most challenging areas for me to minimize.

              This is an update on my progress.

              I have been ruthless with decluttering my media. With all of my items, I am considering if each CD, book or DVD is something I would want to pay to have shipped if I move out of the country. In the first round of my decluttering, I would say I was able to get rid of about half of my items. I got rid of the low hanging fruit. Items I weeded out were those that do not bring me happiness. They are items I do not want to pack up and move with me again.

              Then, when the bad neighbors across the street drove into the front of the house again and I have been forced to empty my living room, I got more ruthless with my media decluttering. I now have an entire room in my house I am unable to use. It was the room that held all my entertainment media. I am now stuck trying to find other places for these items in my house. 

              Books

              Surprisingly, books have been the easiest category for me to declutter. I am perfectly fine with using audiobooks and libraries. I do not want to ever have to haul a box of books when moving again. It’s not worth it. 

              I have been able to declutter myself down to three books. I have three books that I am willing to keep and pack up and move with me next time I move. 

              There are some books that I have in the donation box that I was keeping only because they were signed by the author. I took photos of the book cover and the signed inscription. They are honestly not bringing me joy. It is time for them to move on and be enjoyed by someone else. These are books that were just taking up space on my bookshelves. They are not books that I pick up and read. I have read them once, and once was enough.

              The three books I kept are one reference book, and two books that I have read repeatedly. If I had to pack a backpack and go someplace, these would be the books I would grab to take with me. I am fine with re-reading the three I am keeping.

              DVDs

              Since I have been forced to completely empty my living room due to the neighbors trying to murder me by driving into the living room in the front of the house, I have realized what a huge pain it is to move the TV, DVD player and all of the DVDs.

              I can tell you right now that when this TV set dies, I will not buy a new one. I will live without it. I have never paid for cable in my life. My bunny ears do not get any channels here. The TV set is only used to watch DVDs. There were many years of my life when I did not have a TV set or DVD player. When this set dies, I will go without once again.

              I estimate that I have now decluttered about two-thirds of my DVDs. I am keeping only the ones that truly bring me joy that I watch repeatedly. Between the three TV series I have kept, my baseball games and movies, I think I can watch something different every Friday for “movie night” every week of the year. 

              As I declutter DVDs, I am keeping in mind that at some point, I will no longer have the TV set and DVD player. I am only keeping those I really enjoy watching and would want to move with me if I ever move again.

              Again, DVDs are also something that I can borrow from the library. Most of the DVDs I am keeping are ones that are not available at the library or beloved treasures that I watch repeatedly. 

              Records and CDs

              My records and record player are now in the closet. Putting on a record is a major pain in the ass. I hardly ever use the record player or listen to records. I put them in the closet for the next year to see if I can live without them. If they are still in the closet next spring, I will look to sell my record player and records. Right now, I think they are just collecting dust. I don’t really use them. Honestly, my record player was one of the most challenging things to move when I moved into the house to be sure it did not get damaged.

              The first pass through my CD collection, I listened to all of my CDs. Every. Single. One. I boxed the ones I did not love enough to keep. That was about half of my collection. I will admit that there were some albums I gave a “free pass” because I did not feel like listening to them. That was a mistake. If I don’t feel like listening to it, then it needs to leave.

              Since the neighbors drove into the front of the house and I have been forced to empty my living room, I have gotten more ruthless with my CD decluttering. I have decided to declutter from three pieces of furniture holding my CD collection down to one piece of furniture holding my CD collection. This means I only have space to house about one-third of my original collection.

              I am not in Round 2 of my CD decluttering spree. This time, I am paying attention to CDs I reach for and play. Obviously, if It is one I listen to a lot, I am keeping it. 

              I am also doing a second round of “listen to every single CD.” This time, as I listen to every single CD, I am doing it with this thought: “Is this a CD I would pack up and pay to ship to a different country?” If the answer is no, it is leaving. I want to curate my collection so I am only keeping music I absolutely love. I still have radio. I only need to keep music where I absolutely love listening to the entire album and albums that do not get much radio play. My CD collection is the most challenging for me to downsize.

              Conclusion

              All of the media I am currently decluttering is being boxed to be donated spring 2023.  Given the ruthlessness with which I am decluttering right now, I want to allow some time in case I change my mind about certain items.

              I have never had any regrets about any item I have ever decluttered and I don’t want to start now. I figure that if the books, CDs and DVDs stay in the boxes for a year, then I am ready to part with them and they can leave. 

              However, if I find myself pulling a certain movie or CD out of one of the boxes in the next year, then that is an item that should probably stay. 

              The typical advice is to box things for three months and if you have not opened the box in 3 months to donate it. With my books, CDs and DVDs, I am going to box the items for about 10 months and then declutter them. I am going with a longer time frame because I am more attached to music and movies and they are harder for me to declutter. I want to be absolutely sure I am ready to part with them before I donate them. 

              What is your most challenging decluttering category? Have you moved to a different country, and how much did you take with you? 

              Isolation Log: Covid Date 4.b.20

              / rachelgoes262 / 1 Comment

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              Jude playing in a box

              Well I got friends

              In isolation

              Where quarantine

              Jump starts

              Their memories

               

              Haven’t heard from

              Them in ages

              Now they’re texting me

              With “hi”s and updates

               

              Just checking

              To see whose

              Alive and kicking

               

              Oh, I’ve got friends

              In isolation

               

              Yeah, yeah, the song “Friends in Low Places” was going through my mind yesterday.

              In the past week, I have had six people reach out to me from whom I have not heard in years. Some of these people have been incommunicato for so long that they did not even know I bought a house 20 months ago. 

              I am very happy to hear from them and that I have had the same cell number for about 20 years so people can reach me. It’s nice to know that in the heart of this pandemic, people are thinking of me. They must be too busy in everyday life to reach out, but now that everything is on PAUSE, we have nothing but time. 

              The most positive thing for me with this crisis is that I get to be home with my cats. The second most positive thing for me with this crisis is the amount of people who are reaching out to me. I am hearing from people who I thought had dropped off the planet.

              I regularly write people. Some of them I have sent a text message and received no response. I try not to be annoying. So I am pleasantly surprised to be hearing from people now. Most of these people are from out of state and are not local, so I blame the whole “out of sight, out of mind” concept.

              It’s nice to know that coronavirus is bringing people together. 

               

               

              Goals of Life and Good Death

              / rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

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              With everything that has happened the past few years, I am a little behind on goals. I finally completed a New Year’s resolution that I had back in 2016. I have read the Bible in it’s entirety this year. It had been awhile since I have read the Bible completely.

              Following the Our Daily Bread plan, I read a passage from the Old Testament and from the New Testament each day. Breaking it up into chunks with passages from both Old and New made it much more manageable, especially when going through books such as Numbers. Numbers basically consists of long lists of incomprehensible names. 

              I have yet to meet a person whose favorite book of the Bible is Numbers. However, if your favorite book is Numbers, let me know. I would like to know why and to hear your viewpoint so that I can learn something. 

              Reading through the Bible in its entirety again was calming yet challenging. We all have our favorite books to which we gravitate and return to again and again. Some books like Numbers were more challenging. 

              For the record, I would say that Nehemiah is my favorite book of the Bible. Although, my favorite verses, that are my life verses and will be read at my funeral,  are 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 (NLT). 

              In 2020, I am hoping to accomplish a goal that I had set for myself last year and did not yet achieve. Since buying the house and turning 40, I decided I need to be a responsible adult and plan my funeral. Well, I should at least have a Will. I now have a significant asset, so decisions should be made. Yes, I know it sounds morbid, but hear me out. 

              First, I have no family. This means that when I die, my body and possessions would become a ward of the state. Since I spent about half of my childhood as a ward of the state, I have no desire for my dead body to become one as well. I know someone else who died with no family and saw what that looks like. It is the most undignified and disrespectful way to die. I am appalled at what happens to dead bodies that are wards of the state in New York State. 

              Given that I have no family, there is no one to carry the burden to make arrangements and decisions when I am gone. There are no friends close enough that I would ask to bear the burden that should be carried by a spouse or child. If I pre-plan everything, then the only thing that would need to be asked of a friend would be final signing of paperwork to carry out my pre-planned wishes.

              Second, I have discovered that a pre-planned and pre-paid funeral is exempt from both asset calculations and from all legal proceedings that may take something from you. As an example, if I end up in need of Medicaid in the future, a pre-planned and pre-paid funeral would not be considered an asset for Medicaid determination purposes. Also, when I die, all my assets would currently be seized by the federal government to be put towards my student loan debt. Nothing would be able to be sold or saved to put towards my funeral; it would all go to student loans. A pre-planned and pre-paid funeral would be exempt from seizure to satisfy my student loan debt.

              This is in marked contrast to a life insurance policy. One of my friends suggested just getting a life insurance policy that would pay for everything. Well, a life insurance policy is considered an asset and would disqualify me from receiving Medicaid if I should need that in the future. A life insurance policy would also be seized to fulfill my student loan requirement in the event of my death, with none of the money going to my funeral or anything else. My house would be seized for student loans also.

              You know, I keep saying student loans in America are a form of indentured servitude. Student loans are a rant for another day. Or, you can check out my slam poetry piece from #Occupy to jog your memory on student loans. I digress.

              It is my goal in 2020 to pre-plan and pre-pay my funeral, so that when I die, I just need a person to sign off on all my arrangements. For example, I want to be cremated. You cannot sign the paperwork to be cremated until you have a dead body. If you are dead, you cannot sign for yourself, so someone will have to sign for me.

              As gloom and doom as this may sound, the planning I have started has actually been quite fun and exciting. For some reason, I attended a few funerals in 2019, and while each was beautiful in its own way and befitting the deceased, none of them are what I want. 

              In the words of Monty Python, I want “one mother of a blowout.”

              I am planning a 2 hour celebration of life party. Instead of everyone singing church hymns and sitting through a service that may have meaning to me, but not to them, I am designing a play list. I have chosen 26.2 songs that have multiple meanings in my life. 26.2 is the length of a marathon. There are 26 songs, one by a different artist. The point 2 portion are my two favorite Christmas songs. 

              It has been so much fun working on my funeral play list. I am going through songs and very carefully choosing ones that have had significant meaning for my life for decades. 

              There is the play list of songs in the key of life, then there is the annotated play list. The annotated play list is basically the Celebration of Life program. In the annotation, I have 2-3 sentences that explain why the chosen song was so significant in my life. 

              This way, people can listen to the play list and maybe learn things about me in death that they did not know in life. They can also listen to songs from the play list whenever they miss me and want to remember me after I’m gone (if there is anyone who misses me like that). 

              Some people have asked what is the purpose in pre-planning one’s funeral ? You will be dead, who cares? For me, the purpose in pre-planning my own funeral is so that hopefully I can have in death what I never got in life.

              And that there is another story entirely.

              But I think even without giving you the back story, simply stating that I want to pre-plan my funeral so that I can have in death what I do not have in life to be impactful and meaningful enough. 

              Given that I am now a home owner, creating a Will, doing legal paperwork and all of this pre-planning is the “responsible adult” thing to do. With my disability, I want to be sure that I put these provisions in place now while I am of sound mind and body. No one knows the course this disability takes. I have good days and bad days. I may be with it today, and completely gone tomorrow. I want to make my own choices while I have the ability to make them.

              With 2020 coming, the year is going to be about life and the good death. On a less morbid note, I am in the process of planning my 2020 running season and am looking forward to my next race and to achieving medal #18 in 2020. Every step I run is a celebration of the beauty of life and makes me so grateful to be on the planet. Running = Life. 

               

              The Magic of Three

              / rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

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              Simon enjoying his new beanie animal

              Many times, I have written about the magic number three in my decluttering/minimalism goals. Three items on a surface, three things hanging on a wall … This week the magic of three does it again.

              Minimalist Mondays this year are a way for me to try to organize and declutter my house. I want to be sure what I have is only what I love and what I need. Just because I have double the space now, does not mean I need double the stuff.

              This week was kind of a wash. I have not been feeling well for most of it. Thursday I was pretty much a vegetable. For minimalist Monday this month, I have four Mondays to address the area in question for January. That area is one of two walk-in closets. Since there is a holiday coming up on January 21, I am hoping to catch up then since I have been under the weather this week.

              Where the magic of three fits into all of this is in cleaning. My goal in decluttering is so that I can actually enjoy my life my being able to do things and not be chained to this house having to clean it all the time.

              This week I discovered that by putting three CDs into the CD player, I can clean the whole house. #Score

              Three CDs of cleaning. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

              While the first CD was playing, I worked on cleaning downstairs. By the time the CD was done, I had everything clean downstairs except for mopping the kitchen floor. As the second CD began, I mopped the kitchen floor.

              I can’t clean the entire house in one go. It’s just too much for me. Especially since I have not been feeling well this week, I was way too tired to clean the entire house in one swoop.

              Once the kitchen floor was mopped and the second CD was spinning merrily along, I took a break. Not only did I take a break, but I cranked the volume and danced around in my socks (and Victoria’s Secret yoga pants, of course #weekend) a la Tom Cruise in Risky Business.

              I’m sure if any of the neighbors bothered to look in any of my windows they were probably laughing hysterically. I mean, I washed all the windows, so they definitely had a clear view.

              One of the things I absolutely love love love about the house is that all of my CDs are unpacked and out. They are displayed, organized, and ready to use. Not only that, but I can play them as loud as I want. In the apartment, the maximum stereo volume was 10. In my house, the minimum stereo volume is typically 16.

              So for the second CD of this exercise, I took a break from cleaning. If you decide to try this at home, be sure to pick some kick ass tunes for all three discs.

              Then, when the third CD came on and I was sufficiently rested, I cleaned upstairs. Just like with the first CD, by the time the third CD ended, I had the entire upstairs clean with the exception of washing the bathroom floor. So then I washed the bathroom floor and the whole house was clean.

              It basically took three CDs to clean the house. It was a lot more fun with music.

              Now, with both upstairs and downstairs, when the CD ended, I had everything done except mopping. I hate mopping, so I always leave it for last. My personal goal is to get the house minimized enough so that by the time a CD ends, the entire area of the house is clean.

              We’ll see how that goes. It may be wishful thinking. Three CDs worth of time to clean an entire 1600 square foot house is pretty good, I’m thinking.

              When I am feeling better to get to minimalism Mondays this month, the area for January is one of two walk-in closets. Some of this is organization. For example, the walk-in closet in question has all my camping stuff. However, I have found camping equipment in two other locations in the house. It’s a consequence of moving. Part of minimalist Mondays is going to be recreating my “zones” in the house. Once I get all of the camping equipment together, then I can evaluate it.

              For the record, while many people’s walk-in closets are jam packed with clothing, mine are not. I have been doing pretty well with my minimalist wardrobe. My walk-in closets are mainly storage for seasonal and sentimental items. I’ll be going through things like camping, running gear, luggage, Christmas, fans, and the “sentimental” box when I finally hit the closet this month.

              I would love to get everything down to one walk-in closet instead of two, but I don’t see that happening. I have too many summer hobbies that require equipment. Yes, I actually do USE all of that equipment.

              Maybe when I’m engaging in minimalist Mondays, I will have to invoke the magic of three. If I can use three CDs to clean the entire house, I should be able to use three CDs to declutter and organize and entire closet, right?

              I’ll let you know how it goes.

              In the meantime, I’ll just be sitting here in my shades grooving to some cool tunes in my clean house.

               

              Hell in the Hallway

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              They say when one door closes, another one opens. It’s hell in the hallway. I am usually a patient person. I don’t mind waiting for things. I have no credit cards, so when I want something, I need to plan and save for it. As long as other people are not waiting on something from me, I don’t mind waiting on them.

              Where I am inpatient right now is in escaping a bad situation.  I am in the hallway between places and it’s pure hell. I have no problem waiting for the new door to open completely. My challenge is that the door behind me is not completely closed. It’s still partway open.  I would rather be stuck in a hallway with a door closed behind me waiting for the one in front to open.

              I have had everything packed for the past three months, when I first got the news that I would no longer be able to stay in my current housing both due to finances as well as the need to keep my family together. Everything in my current living space will be leaving, no matter where it is going. Most of it will be going to a new dwelling.

              I have been going through the boxes lately asking myself “do I really want to move this?” Of course, everything is leaving. It is a question of whether it will be donated or moving. I currently have three boxes I will be taking to donate. Even though I will be taking those three boxes, putting them in the trunk of my car and taking them to the donation center, it still feels like those are three less boxes I will be moving. It’s true. While I am physically moving the boxes by taking them to the donation center, they are three less boxes I will be moving to a new dwelling on Moving Day.

              I have been sitting here for three months surrounded by boxes. The more I look at them, the less I want to move them.

              It’s also been more than a year since my last vacation, and since I had to cancel my camping trip, marathon, park visits, beach days and baseball, I’m just really in need of a break. I have pretty much had to forfeit my summer due to this housing crisis. This is the year of the Lost Summer. I have only been able to go to work and back because I have not had the resources to do anything else. This is what happens when you are given 2 weeks notice that your rent will suddenly take up over 60% of your income.

              Basically, I’m tired with no respite in sight.

              Yes, I will be off when I move, but that’s a huge job. This is going to be my first move in 14 years. Hopefully, it will be my last.

              There have been so many times in the past three months when I have wanted a certain CD or DVD, but it’s packed. The only items not packed right now are those I absolutely need to function every day. This would be a fun experiment if it was only for a few weeks. It’s not fun for a few months.

              There are many minimalist experiments that advise to pack up what you are not using for three months, and if you don’t remember what is in the box after 12 weeks to donate it. Well, I know I am not donating these boxes because I know what is in them, and I want to use what I have. I am actually missing some of my items that are currently in boxes.

              I am fortunate that in all of my downsizing and minimizing, I have not missed a single item I have donated or purged. In fact, I could not even begin to tell you about any of the items I have gotten rid of because I don’t remember them. I do, however, remember what is currently in the boxes I have packed, which is telling me this is stuff I need to keep. They are things I like and want to use.

              I’m sure that there will be some items when I unpack that I look at and say “oh, I had forgotten about that.” That may be an item that needs to be donated. For the most part, I have been missing the items I have packed.

              I’m pretty sure that I am moving this month, in August. I’m just waiting for a moving date. I’m hoping to get a moving date soon, because each month I stay here, my expenses increase, and there is the threat of “housing or family.” As eager as I am to escape this situation, it is hard to think of how it is happening.

              I have been in my current living situation for 14 years, which is the longest I have ever lived anyplace and it’s the only place that has ever felt like home. It’s a hard pill to swallow that I am being forced out. Keeping my family together is my number one priority, so hopefully we will be able to escape the nightmare soon.

              The one positive in this situation is that my current dwelling is much easier to clean now that everything is packed. I have already decided that when I unpack in my new living space, I will be taking a harder look at wall hangings and decorative items. Less clutter means less to clean. Less to clean means more time to do things I want to do. Of course, right now, I have plenty of time and can’t do anything because I’m even struggling with groceries. I’m not eating enough to train or to even run very far. All my money is currently going to housing.

              It is very possible that once I am in the new living space, my rule of three may be revised to be the rule of one. One item on each wall and surface instead of three. Of course, I will only be keeping and using what is meaningful to me. A new living space is a fresh start. We will see what resonates with me when I unpack.

              One thing that has become clear with this exercise is that music is my priority. I have no problem getting rid of books or DVDs. I use the library a lot for books and DVDs. What I cannot seem to part with are CDs and vinyl records.

              That’s ok. Music is my thing. If my music collection is the one area that I do not downsize, I am okay with that. Minimalism is not an exercise in how to live without. It’s a way of living that allows you to optimize your time for what you love. Music is what I love and a huge part of my life, so there is no need to minimize that area.

              Having everything around me packed for the past three months has definitely reminded me of my priorities. I basically have to keep my family together. Beyond that, my life is filled with music. I have music on all the time at my house. The cats even listen to the radio while I am at work all day.

              Right now, my family is together, and we have music. So while its hell in the hallway, at least I know my priorities are firmly in place. Hopefully soon we’ll be able to kick that door closed behind us and fling open the one that’s cracked. I’m ready to move on.

               

               

               

               

              Closets, Clothes & Packing For A Move

              / rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

              The kids are ready to go! Destination and moving day unknown.

              My closets are the cleanest and most organized part of my house. This probably seems like an oxymoron and I’m sure you hate me right now. For most people, the opposite is typically true. Closets are usually the most cluttered and messiest part of a room. Company coming over? Gather items in your arms and shove them in a closet – instant space and instant closet mess.

              I’ve been downsizing for a while now, and I got to a point where everything has its own place. When every item has a place to live, you don’t feel cluttered anymore. It’s only when things are overflowing that we tend to feel cluttered. This also means that we have a tendency to adapt to our space.Your stuff evolves to fit the space in which you live. Bigger space, means more stuff. Smaller space, you need less stuff. It’s all about balance.

              For me, my closets became organized because I have been ruthlessly decluttering for years now. Every object has a place. Items in my closet have been culled and are there for a specific purpose.

              My coat closet contains my winter coats (2), snow pants, boots, storage bin of hats, gloves, scarves and snow tires. My linen closet contains towels, sheets, cleaning supplies, and a box of toiletries. I do place large orders of toiletries in “bulk” as everything from shampoo to lotion has to be special ordered from one company due to my allergies. You would not believe how many toiletry items contain almond oil so I have to special order everything to be nut-free. Aveeno body lotion sent me into full anaphylactic shock one time, but I digress.

              My spare bedroom closet contains Christmas and camping supplies. Everything is in its own storage bin. As you may know from prior posts, I have decluttered Christmas so that everything fits into one storage bin, plus the tree. I’m pretty sure when I started there were three Christmas bins.

              My closet in my actual bedroom has my clothes, my luggage, and the storage bin of seasonal clothing. The seasonal clothing storage bin currently holds winter – hoodies and sweaters. My bedroom closet also stores the air conditioner when it is not in use in winter.

              Everything else in my house that is not in a closet is out, in use, or in its designated place. The only items overflowing are the CDs. More on those later.

              Back to closets. The only reason why I noticed how clean and organized my closets are is because I started packing. I don’t know where I am moving to yet or when, but I am packing. In looking at my closets, there is really nothing in them to pack. Pretty much everything in all the closets is already in some sort of storage bin or container, so all I have to do is pick it up and move it. The only exceptions are the coats in the coat closet and my clothes.

              Let’s move on to clothes. I am a big fan of capsule wardrobes and Courtney Carver’s Project 333. I’m not a huge stickler on the numbers. Again, I’m one of those that as long as all my clothing fits in my dresser and closet and I only have one bin of seasonal, I am fine. I have no idea if I have 33 items of clothing or 50. I know that everything fits in my designated space, and that I wear everything I have. My clothing is comfortable, fits well, and has no tags or holes.

              Since I am packing, what exactly do I have for clothes? Well, since I am not moving right now, I can’t actually pack the clothes. I literally wear and use everything I have. When I do move, moving my clothes will be easy. Remove the drawers from the dresser and carry clothes that way. For the closet, take a garbage bag to wrap the clothes in to keep them clean.

              What is in my closet and drawers?

              I actually do have work clothes and everyday clothes. I am not one of those people who is able to have one all-purpose wardrobe. I’m a jeans & baseball shirt type of girl; that doesn’t really fly when my office is business casual. I don’t like business casual. It’s an uncomfortable but necessary evil.

              In my closet, I have 15 hangars in use. Some are random, like the one that holds my hockey jersey. Hey, I’m not perfect. I do have random things that bring me joy. I don’t have a set number of items.

              I would say that there are 10 hangars in active use. For work, my color palate is a base of black or grey that is accented with jewel tones of blue, green, and purple/burgundy. So, on 10 hangars, I have:

              4 pairs of work dress pants (2 black and 2 grey)

              2 blazers (1 black, 1 grey)

              2 cardigan sweaters (1 black, 1 grey)

              2 dresses (not work appropriate, totally summery, for going to the theatre, a wedding, etc. If you are interested, one is pink and the other a summer orange and they are both fun.)

              My dresser has 4 drawers.

              In one drawer, is my everyday tops. These are mostly baseball, football, or hockey shirts. Yeah, you’ve seen them. They have the team on the front and the number and name of player on the back. I have about 8 of these in a drawer. Along with 2 thermals and 2 flannels for winter when it gets chilly so I can layer. That’s one of my four drawers.

              There is one drawer of pajamas. For every capsule wardrobe or challenge I have read, pajamas, underclothes and workout wear don’t count as “wardrobe” if you’re doing one of the number challenges like 50 items or Project 333. I have one drawer of pajamas and the color scheme here is very heavily pink. I like pink nightwear. I have a bin of summer running clothes, a bin of winter running clothes, and one of those plastic containers with 3 drawers that has bras, undies and socks.

              My third drawer is work tops. Again, my color scheme for tops is mostly blue and green with some purple thrown in. I have about 8 different work tops. Right now, I also have “summer” in this drawer, which means my tank tops (not work wear) for when its 80+ degrees out like it is now.

              In my fourth drawer, I have everyday bottoms. Like work clothes, I have 4 bottoms. Except for everyday, this includes 2 pairs of jeans and 2 pairs of my infamous Victoria’s Secret yoga pants. Also, for summer, this drawer currently holds 4 pairs of shorts and some swim wear.

              In the seasonal box, which currently holds winter, is 3 hoodies (those are bulky), a pair of corduroy pants, and 3 sweaters.

              My clothes aren’t a problem and don’t bother me. I have no decision fatigue in the morning. I can get dressed immediately without having to put on multiple options or throw items around the room because “I don’t want to wear this today” or “this isn’t working.” Like I said, moving my clothes is going to be super easy. I don’t even really have to pack them or put them into luggage.

              I typically have two loads of laundry per week – one of work clothes and one that consists of everyday clothes, pajamas, towels and sheets. Clothes are easy to move.

              What has been stressing me out in trying to pack is not my clothes and not the items that are in my closets. It is my everyday items that are out and in use. Specifically, this would be my media of books, DVDs, and CDs. I have packed this stuff up and am now looking at it thinking, “I don’t want to have to (physically) move this stuff.”

              Before I started packing, everything was in its place and I did not feel cluttered. I have one 2-shelf bookcase of books, and one 2-shelf bookcase of DVDs. The CDs are overflowing. The CDs I was just going to start curating, and decided to take them all with me to curate in the next location. When packed, the CDs, don’t seem like much. I’m not sure if it is just looking at a pile of boxes that is getting to me or what.

              I left 5 DVDs and 5 CDs out to play with in this transition process. It has been challenging. For example, I find myself wanting to unpack the DVDs because “Oh, I want to watch this, and it’s packed.”

              Right now, I am unsure if I “have too much stuff” or am simply overwhelmed at the idea of moving after being in the same place for 14 years. Whatever I’m doing, this is a super big change. I can also say that the kitchen is a room that I cannot pack right now because I am still literally using everything in my kitchen.

              The only thing kitchen related I have been trying to do is to eat up and use up everything in my cupboards, frig and freezer, so that there is less food stuff to move. There really is not any cook ware or dishware I can pack that is not in use.

              One of the problems of being a minimalist is having to wait to the last minute to pack because you are literally using everything you have. I guess this is a good problem to have. If I can pack something and have it sit there for months without needing it, then it is probably something to get rid of anyway. I only like to have items that I use or love.

              I’m fortunate in that I have been minimizing myself for a few years now, so I am sure that I have less now than I would have, say 5 years ago. Still, it feels like so much. It could be because I packed two rooms and have all the boxes from two rooms in one room. Maybe it just seems like more than it is.

              Downsizing, minimizing, and simplifying are all a process. Whenever and where-ever moving day happens, I will have to see how I actually feel about my stuff once I start physically moving it. I will be moving all the small items myself.

              The large furniture items like my couch, bed, table, etc., I will be enlisting help to move. I have already figured that all of those large items I can shove into one room to make it easier for my helpers to move me.

              It’s just all the little stuff that seems like a lot.

              What I am learning is that my clothes and my closets are not a problem. So I’ve done a wicked good job with those. I have downsized my wardrobe to the point where I am actually able to live and enjoy life without worrying about what I’m wearing or wasting my time shopping.

              The benefit to this exercise is that I am learning about the areas of my living space I need to focus on simplifying next – which seems to be my living room and media. Yet, when I find myself missing and wanting things that are packed … maybe they are not a problem after all if I am using and liking them. Collections are not bad if you enjoy them.

              Minimalism is not some exercise in pain or how to live without. Minimalism is about having room in your life for what’s important. Apparently all the stuff I have now is coming with me – even if it does feel overwhelming to move it.

              I’ll let you know how it goes when moving day comes (whenever that may be, but hopefully soon).

               

              Pre-Gaming the 2016 Running Season

              / rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

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              Here in the northeast, running season 2016 officially opens in April. The Boston Marathon is the kickoff of the year, as crowds line the streets to cheer and to celebrate the sacrifice and diligence that went into training for such a rigorous course over the hard winter months. Registration for fall races typically opens in April, and runners eagerly plan their training schedules and hope to get that BQ or PR. As I look forward to the opening day of running season with glee, here are the areas that are receiving my attention in the off-season.

              Music

              One of the small pleasures that I allow myself each season is that I add 5 new songs to my runningpod at the start of the year. I am not big on digital music, as I prefer to have a tangible album that I can admire as a work of art, but I do have a small screenless iPod that has replaced my cassette walkman for running. Adding five new songs each season is one of my small guilty pleasures that helps with the motivation factor in the dull, grey days of winter.

              My most significant addition to my thoughtfully curated running list this year is the fact that, after 14 medals, I have a new running theme song  that is now in regular rotation on my runningpod. This song actually came from a CD that I already own, so while I will be adding 5 new songs this season, not all of those songs need to be purchased. Having new music on my runningpod helps me to drag myself to the gym to be tortured by the freakmill (my term of endearment for treadmill) when there is too much ice and snow to run the trails. New music also helps me to push through hard workouts, as I incorporate cross-training and push my body in ways other than endurance during the off-season.

              Nutrition

              Pre-gaming the 2016 running season is also the time to evaluate nutrition to ascertain that I am receiving the proper fuel to be able to sustain a grueling training program and race season. Fueling both before and after workouts is important, as is what you eat on rest days. We cannot expect to be top producing athletic machines if we put crap into our bodies and do not fuel with good nutrition choices to be top performing athletes. In addition to Gatorade and gels, it is about the choices we make for each meal and snack that aid in muscle recovery and ensure that we are ready and pumped to perform when needed.

              This year, I am making changes to my post-run snack list. Juggling multiple food allergies the past few years has been particularly challenging, and it has taken me quite a while to get to the point where I can handle them in stride. I have snacks planned for the 2016 running season that will not only give me the proper carb/protein balance needed for optimal muscle recovery, but hopefully also provide enough variety so that I do not get bored with what I am eating.

              When I first started running, I did not have food allergies. All of my food allergies have been adult on-set, so making changes to this area of my life has taken a back burner to the crisis of trying to figure out what to eat on a daily basis. Now that I have had some time and experience with managing my food allergies, I feel I am able to make better choices in my food selections to be sure that not only am I eating food that will not kill me, but I can make choices to ensure that I am properly fueled to be a top performing athlete.

              This season, I plan on adding more variety to my diet. I often feel that my food choices are limited given my multiple food allergies. However, now that I am retired, I have discovered that there are so many foods to which I am not allergic with which I can experiment and find creative ways to prepare. My goal is to try at least one new recipe per month to be able to give me a wider variety of foods to eat to be sure I am receiving proper nutrition. I have also recognized that I tend to stick with the same fruits and vegetables routinely. I am hoping to be able to expand the variety of fruits and vegetables that I eat this year and to truly incorporate the entire rainbow of produce.

              Cross-Training

              Perhaps my most favorite form of cross-training is boxing and martial arts. However, after multiple head injuries combined with a lack of funds for ring fees, I now have to seek alternate options for cross-training. Add to this the fact that I have some specific areas of my body that are in need of strengthening to prevent the type of injury that seriously sidelined me in the 2015 running season.

              This year, I am focusing more on strength training and plyometrics. Plyometrics should address the specific body areas that contributed to last year’s injury. Strength training is crucial for all runners. As I get older, I am discovering more and more how beneficial strength training is for my life. Most weight equipment was designed to accommodate a 150-pound male. Given that I am an approximate 100-pound female, I intend on focusing on free weights instead of machines for my strength training. Not only can I do this at home, but also it saves me from trying to fit into weight machines that were not designed for someone of my size.

              Balance and flexibility are usually lacking in runners and often contribute to injury. In addition to all the surfing I plan to do this summer, which helps with balance, I am also incorporating some yoga and pilates into my routine to help with balance and flexibility. The goal for the 2016 running season is to run well and to remain injury-free. Now that I have more free time than ever before, I am hoping to incorporate more play into my day and to be active in different, fun ways that use a variety of muscle groups.

              Clothing/Run Wear

              On one of my recent minimalist sprees, I was quite surprised to find that I had three storage bins full of running wear and running related paraphernalia. I literally had at least one, if not multiple, shirts from pretty much every race I have ran. Some of them were t-shirts and some of them were technical, wicking shirts. I decided that my medals are much more a reflection of my accomplishments and meaningful to me than any t-shirt could ever be.

              I went through all three bins and got rid of all but my most favorite shirts. I also went through all of my running gear currently in use and realized how ratty some of my technicals have become after being constantly drenched in sweat, even after having been washed in sports wash and air dried. I took this purging as the opportunity to replace the well-worn technicals with some of my race technicals that have pretty much just been hanging out in a storage bin. What is the point of having a bunch of race technicals if I am not going to wear them?

              Now, every time I go for a training run, I can celebrate my accomplishments by wearing one of my race technicals. Plus, it serves as a reminder of the reward that is waiting at the end of a long and hard training season. It makes me feel like I have an entirely new running wardrobe when all I did was to start using what I already had in storage. What is the point of storing something unless you are going to use it? Now my goal is to put all new race technicals immediately into rotation and to remove any items that are smelly or ratty. No matter if you always use sport wash and air dry your running clothes, there comes a point when they are just smelly and nothing will remove the stench of sweat from well-used workout clothes.

              I no longer have three storage bins of run wear. All of my running clothes are currently out and in current rotation. While I have updated other aspects of my running gear, like rotating shoes every 300-500 miles, I had neglected to update running shorts and running shirts. I am pretty sure that some of that old smelly ratty run wear that went to the rag pile are from almost 10 years ago when I first started running. It was definitely time to start using what I already have available.

              Conclusion

              Now that I have been retired for a few months and have taken the opportunity to relish in my newfound free time, I realize that the beauty of rewinding real slow is that I now have the time to focus on the things that are most important to me. I have time in my life to be able to focus on running and cross-training so that I can get through a running season uninjured. I have both the time and the energy to put into making 2016 the best running season yet. I’m looking forward to it.

               

              My Favorite Things

              / rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

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              This morning I am waiting for coffee to brew so that I can put it into one of my favorite coffee mugs, flavor with my favorite coconut milk creamer, and have a leisurely morning warming up for the day listening to some of my favorite CDs. Christmas made me realize that I am very fortunate in my journey towards minimalism in that I am now surrounded by my favorite things and use them on a daily basis.

              What is in my life brings me joy.

              I came to realize that this week as everyone around me was running around hurried over the Christmas season, and I was just kind of there – relaxed. My big success this season was being able to downsize Christmas from three boxes to one. This is not meant to be a la Scrooge or Grinch-like. I am now surrounded by only my most favorite and meaningful Christmas decorations. Some of the things that said goodbye from the 2 boxes now gone include items such as a string of lights on which only half the bulbs work, some large and heavy clay ornaments that only served to weigh the tree branches down to the point of being unsightly instead of decorative, and the Christmas tree skirt that shows every snag and cat hair.

              This year, I enjoyed the holidays with working lights everywhere, ornaments on the tree that were beautiful and meaningful, and music that filled my heart and lifted my spirits. When I had a glass of wine this week, it was in one of my favorite wine glasses that had previously sat in the back of the cupboard – because it was a “favorite” glass it simply sat unused. Why shouldn’t my favorite glass be used as everyday-wear? For what special occasion was I saving it? Life is a special occasion. We are on this earth for a limited time, and the time to enjoy what makes us happy is now.

              As I had extra time off from work for the holiday and was home, I also added a few items to the general donation box that was not associated with the Christmas purging. As I looked at the donation box and moved it from one part of the room to another, I thought: “If I were moving, would I want to deal with this box? Would I want to carry it and load it into a truck and unload and unpack it?” Looking at the items in the box, the answer was no. I am so glad to be getting rid of the items in the donation box so they do not weigh me down both literally and metaphorically.

              I’ve been on this minimalist journey for about 4 years now, and while the outflow has slowed, it does still continue. I never know what I am going to find where, and be able to take the critical eye over items deciding on whether they are useful or bring me joy.

              The upside to the stream out slowing to a trickle means that, for the most part, my favorite things surround me. My goal is to be surrounded only by what I find useful or by that which I love. Life is to short to waste not only on the accumulation of needless and useless crap, but also life is too short to waste on that stuff’s storage, maintenance, and upkeep. As a result of removing the unnecessary, my holidays have been filled with peace. Peace not bought in a store. In fact, this peace has been acquired by actively avoiding the store and removing things I never should have bought in the store in the first place.

              As I sit here looking at the favorite mug that was always in the back of the cupboard because it was “the favorite,” I realize that the time is now. The time to use your favorite things is now. The time for happiness is now. The time to do and say all those things you wanted to do and say is now. Life is very short.

              Do your favorite things surround you? Does it bring you joy? If not, what do you think about removing the unnecessary so that which you truly love has the opportunity to shine?