A basic tenant of minimalism is to put like with like. For example, if you are working on decluttering or downsizing the number of shoes you own, you should start by gathering all of your shoes together so that you can decide which pairs you are keeping and which pairs are leaving.
Putting like with like sounds simple. It is deceiving. I’m not going to lie. Putting like with like is HARD. All these minimalism tips tell you to put like with like as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do. It’s not.
Stuff is everywhere. Your belongings are spread out and scattered all over your living space. It’s supposed to be that way. Homes are meant to be lived in. So telling someone to put like with like may sound simple in theory, but is challenging in practice. Your home is lived in, and your stuff is everywhere.
Putting like with like may be easier for some items that others. It all depends on the person and your lifestyle. For me, personally, putting all my shoes together was easy. I don’t have many pieces of footwear. They all tend to be in the same area of my house and not spread out.
This winter when I engage on a major decluttering project of paperwork – that was hard. I have paperwork all over the house. There was paperwork in my office, my kitchen, and at least 2 other rooms in my house. Paperwork ranged from things like appliance manuals to insurance policies to car repair receipts. Stuff was everywhere.
I could have gone through piles of paperwork in each room. Essentially, that’s what I did first. Then, I put all of the paperwork together in one room. That was the hard part. Everything was spread out. As hard as it may be to put like with like, I’m glad I did. I now have my paperwork downsized to one milk crate of papers in one room. That is the extent of my paperwork. It is no longer spread out all over the house.
Having all the paperwork together not only makes it easier for me to find things, it makes it easier for someone else to find things if something happens to me. Have you ever had to go through a loved one’s paperwork after they died? The paperwork is everywhere. You go through piles of stuff trying to figure out what is what. It is a tedious task that no one wants to do after a loved one dies.
I downsized my paperwork so that anything extraneous was shredded and all necessary papers are together and labeled into categories – medical, insurance, car, house, etc. If something happens to me, I have one milk crate of important papers for you to go through to settle my affairs and shred.
Homes are meant to be lived in. You should have all of your belongings spread out and put in places where they are being used. However, when you are trying to declutter, it is easiest if you can put like with like so that you can see just how much you have. You may say you want to downsize your coffee mugs. Then, when you put them all together and see you have 32 of them, you can set a goal – such as 6 coffee mugs – for downsizing. You need to put like with like to get the full scope of just how much you have.
Like with like is not an easy task. However, if you can manage to put like with like, it will make the overall process of downsizing easier. Going with coffee mugs, once you donate the 26 mugs you are not using, by all means take the 6 coffee mugs you are keeping and put them wherever you need them. Spread them out. Homes are meant to be lived in.
It may sound like an easy premise, but like with like is actually challenging. Don’t be hard on yourself if you start trying to put like with like and find it difficult. Minimalism and decluttering is not an easy process, even if people like me make it sound easy.
Happy Birthday, Simon! Today the baby turns 7. Simon is the youngest of the three cats. He is the middle child in order of adoption, but is the youngest in chronological age. Simon was adopted at age 1 1/2 and has been with Jude and I for 5 1/2 years.
Simon is the most shy of the three cats. He hides if anyone comes to the house to visit. He is terrified of vacuum cleaners, lawn mowers and thunderstorms (basically all loud noises). Simon will hide in a kitchen cupboard or in my office upstairs when he is scared.
Simon is our Chief Cuddler and the glue that holds our family together. Everyone loves Simon. He is often found cuddling with Jolene and Jude. Simon also has his moments where he enjoys his alone time. He can be found on the cat tree or in his favorite chair near the bedroom window.
He sleeps with me every night, right in the bed. Simon sleeps in the space right next to the pillow. Sometimes he does like to be under the covers as well. He is the one that wakes me up every morning to feed everyone breakfast.
Simon’s favorite toys are small toy mice and catnip bananas. He can often be found on his “nana phone” talking to all his Twitter friends. Simon is the king of random zoomies. He will make a noise and then take off to some other location within the house. He loves sun puddles and rolling around holding and licking his own tail.
He can often be found playing with Jolene. They chase each other up and down the stairs. He also enjoys wrestling matches with his sister. Simon plays with Jude as well. They like to play hide and seek over / under the Kuranda bed. Sometimes Jude plays too rough with Simon and they need to be separated, but at the end of the day, they cuddle and groom each other.
Simon was adopted as a companion for Jude. When Kitty passed away, I had told Jude he was going to be an only child. That lasted for about 7 months. I was playing with Jude frequently, but he wanted to play non-stop and seemed to really need a companion. Enter Simon.
With Simon, I started to do the slow introduction process I have always done with the cats to ensure a smooth transition and lasting bonds. However, Simon and Jude had another agenda. They both worked together from different sides of the door to meet long before I had wanted them to. Simon had only been with us for a few days when they wanted to meet each other. They have been deeply bonded from the first week Simon arrived.
Simon is the sweetest, gentlest cat and so loving. We are so privileged to have him as a family member. He brings us such love and joy every single day.
Even though he is turning 7, Simon will always be my baby. He is the youngest. Jolene was adopted after Simon, but she is older. After these three pass away, I will not adopt again. I will be a foster mom instead. So Simon is my baby because he is the youngest of the cats I will ever adopt.
We cannot imagine what life would be like without Simon. You often hear of bonded duos. Bonded trios are rare. I truly think that Jude, Simon and Jolene are a bonded trio. They all get along so well. Simon is the glue that holds us all together. He is completely full of love, more than any other cat I have ever known.
It was winter 2022, either January or February. I don’t remember which. I work from home, and I sit near a window, so I can see out during the workday. A pickup truck came up the street, stopped, and a few colored items flew out the window. The truck sped off. The colored items that flew out were two kittens who were thrown out of the truck.
From their size, I estimated the kittens were somewhere between 6 months and 1 year old. There was Reba, a pregnant calico. I was able to catch her and get her to the animal shelter. They confirmed she was pregnant at under a year old. The other cat, Kenny, a black and white tuxie, was more elusive. I saw him at a distance, but he would not come close.
Eventually, Kenny found refuge in my garage. I would see him outside interacting with longtime stray, Tom. Kenny pretty much lives in my garage. He uses the insulated cat shelters. He eats the food I set out. I see him every morning when I set out food and every evening when I bring food inside.
Last fall, about 6 months after being thrown from a truck, Kenny started to come closer to me. He has gotten to the point where he loves to be pet. He rubs up against me and purrs. He loves attention and loves to play.
In January 2023, the shelter had an opening to take another one of the strays I have been helping. I was confident that Kenny would be trapped and go to the shelter to be adopted. Kenny is very friendly and would be a great house cat. He has so much love to give and truly needs a home.
However, Tom was in the trap in January 2023. Tom went to the shelter and has since been adopted into a loving forever home. I am so happy for Tom. He is older, at least 10, with health issues. He was a favorite of shelter staff, as they said he is one of the most gentle strays they have ever taken in to be adopted. He is so happy and loved in his forever home.
Kenny is still here.
I cannot take in a fourth house cat either physically or legally. There is a three pet per house law here. Also, I can say that having three house cats is a definite stretch for me with resources. I do handle it, and I do not regret Jude, Simon or Jolene at all, but I know that I cannot handle a fourth cat. Kenny desperately needs a home, but it cannot be mine.
Kenny has gotten so friendly that he has tried to come into the house. However, I have to close the door instead of letting him in because the inside cats start to chase him, and I cannot have my inside cats escaping outside. Not only would I lose one of my beloved inside cats, but they would chase away Kenny too. Of course, if Kenny came inside, I would not put him out. I would take him to the shelter and insist they take him because he came inside.
The shelter knows that Kenny is here. However, they are too full of kittens right now to take another stray cat from me. Kenny is one of two outside cats that are left I am caring for.
The other outside cat I am still caring for is Flower. I have been caring for Flower for 5 years. Flower used to live in the house next door, until they kicked her out and moved. I want to trap Flower to get her to the shelter too.
Kenny and Flower are the last two outside strays I am helping. As soon as the shelter has space, I will trap one to take for medical care and adoption. Since I have bought this house, I have gotten three outside cats to the shelter for adoption: Reba (thrown from the truck), Tom (one of the original strays with Flower), and Clare (one of the original strays with Flower and Tom).
There is a sense of urgency in trapping the strays and getting them to the shelter to be adopted. There is a dog fighting ring in the area. They spray paint the stray cats and use them as bait. The SPCA know the dog fighting ring is here, but refuses to do anything about it due to how much money it brings in. Incidentally, the SPCA also just lost their contract to provide services here.
The rescue I work with when I trap the strays and take them to shelter is NOT the SPCA. There is a different, non-profit 100% volunteer run shelter I am working with to find the strays forever homes and rescue them from the dog fighting ring.
I truly worry for Kenny, as he is so friendly. I am hoping to find him a home soon so that he can be out of this area with the dog fighting ring. Not to mention, he is the friendliest of the strays. It is very obvious he had a home once, and wants and needs one again. I am confident that if it were not for my inside cats chasing him away, he would probably come right into my house if I left the door open and let him inside.
I am really hoping that the shelter will have space to take Kenny this fall. In addition to the dog fighting ring, I am worried about Kenny being abused due to his coloring. Kenny is the sweetest cat and so trusting. He truly deserves a forever home.
This is Kenny’s story so far. I’m really hoping I can find him a forever home soon.
Ten years ago today, the unthinkable happened when domestic American terrorists attacked the world’s most beloved marathon. The attack was brutal, cruel and unprovoked. Many people were murdered and many more were injured in the devastating event.
However, despite the atrocity, in the days that followed, the city and the world rallied around the race. After all, you just don’t mess with people who run 26.2 miles for fun. The Boston Police Department was the 2013 World Hide and Seek Champions as they searched tirelessly for the perpetrators to bring them to justice.
Medical personnel responded, every day people lined up to give blood to the wounded. Everyone came together to support the Boston Marathon, whose finish line symbolizes hope, love and dreams to both runners and non-runners alike across the globe.
I ran Boston in 2010, 2012, and 2014. The only reason why I wasn’t there in 2013 was because a family member had a major surgery two weeks before the race and I stayed home to assist in their recovery. The first bomb at the finish line went off within 30 seconds of my marathon finishing time. I had friends who were in the race that year, and was watching their progress on the course through GPS tracking. When the bombs went off, all the dots tracking my friends disappeared and the screen went blank.
By the time I heard from all of my friends who were at the race that day, it was 3 am the next day. Thankfully, everyone I knew was safe. Many people were not.
Every time I “toe the line” and stand at the start line of a race, I do it with the knowledge that I may die on course. Typically, this would be a medical death. We have all heard the tale of the first marathon and how the runner died from running so far. I never thought that I might die from a terrorist attack.
Yet even though death is a possibility, the risk is well worth it to run a marathon. You see, the secret of the finish line is that the second your foot hits that finish line, you see the face of God. Whether you come in first, last, or someplace in the middle, the finish line is the moment in life when you truly touch the Devine. It’s that moment when you have achieved a feat that less than 5% of the human population will ever attempt. It’s the moment when your heart knows you have achieved the seemingly impossible and all your dreams come true.
I ran a race about three weeks after the bombing. I will admit, I was terrified. What if there were copycats? What if my race was bombed too? I still lined up. I wasn’t about to let a domestic terrorist scare me off from the one thing I love to do most in life. I will admit, as soon as I saw the bomb-sniffing police dogs, I instantly relaxed. I figured if the dogs were on duty, I was safe. The dogs would protect me. They did. They gave me the courage to take that first step off the start line that day.
Ten years later, I am still running #BostonStrong. I do not remember that day as a day that was torn apart; I remember that day as the day that brought the world together in solidarity. That is the essence of the running community. However, in the aftermath of that tragic day, even the non-running community came to experience aspects of the sport that we love the most: the love, hope and inclusivity that brings us all together on our way to our common goal of realizing our dreams.
This year is my retirement year from competitive racing. Soon I hope to achieve medal 26. I will not stop running, but I will stop chasing down medals. You see, running is a life long love. As we marathoners like to say: run, walk, crawl, or dragged, I will cross the finish line. I will keep running. However, once I achieve medal 26, I will stop chasing the bling. After all, I keep going for the love of running. Once I have 26 medals on the rack, I will have enough bling.
Today, April 15, is One Boston Day. Not only is it the anniversary of the marathon bombing, but it is the day that everyone comes together in community and service to try to make this world a better place. We honor those killed in the tragedy by bringing light out of the darkness.
This month marks 30 years I have been working. A week after my 14th birthday, I went to the nurse’s office at school and applied for my working papers. I was approved. My first job was delivering newspapers in town. One of the stops on my route was a senior citizen building. They all found it novel to have a paper girl instead of a paper boy.
At age 15, I got a job working at McDonald’s. At age 16, I started working 2-3 jobs while in college. I worked 2-3 jobs for over 20 years trying to make ends meet while I was in school.
In fact, in the 30 years that I have been in the workforce, the only time I have ever been unemployed were those two months back in 2021 when I lost my job in the pandemic. Other than those two months, I have been working for 30 years continuously.
Many people retire after 20 years or so. I will not have the privilege of retirement. You see, I am not allowed to collect social security due to my student loans. I’ve been paying into the system for 30 years now, but will never be able to collect benefits due to student loans.
Even though we pay back our student loans, the government refuses to release the debt. So we pay the student loans two or three times over. When we ask for “forgiveness” for student loans, we are not asking for the government to write off unpaid debt. We are asking them to release us from the loans we have already paid back with interest and yet are still paying. Student loans are America’s way of indentured servitude.
The only way to retire if you have student loans is to try to save money in a 401k. But really, with student loan payments taking 30% of your income, who can save money in a 401k? We are not allowed social security payments for retirement or for disability. I feel terrible for all the people with long covid who are denied disability benefits because they owe student loans. This is how the system works in America.
This year I celebrate 30 years of work in America with no end in sight. Or is there?
Given we are living in a genocide, I am going to be outrageously optimistic and say I am hoping to live to see age 60. The government wants me dead, so trying to live and survive for 16 more years is quite ambitious. However, given the rapid decline in American life expectancy, I feel that age 60 is a reasonable goal. After all, America is doing everything it can to kill off people over age 65 and those with disabilities.
So while I “celebrate” 30 years of working, I am hoping to be able to work for 11 more years. At age 55, I intend to retire and spend 5 years not working before I die at age 60. I think I deserve that.
Of course, my real goal is to outlive the cats. I need to be able to take care of them and keep them together. Given their current ages, I think my goal of living to see age 60 to outlive them is quite reasonable.
While student loan payments have been paused, I have been putting my money into my 401k. When I reach age 55, I plan to withdraw all the money and leave the country. Once the cats are gone, my goal is to travel. I will have 5 years to enjoy before I die.
Of course, you know how the best laid plans are always waylaid. This is my optimistic goal.
After 30 years of work, I can only hope to work 11 more years. It’s possible that death or disability will cut my work life short and I will never experience retirement. I will never be able to travel or visit other countries if America continues on its current downward trajectory.
But today, I celebrate 30 years of work with the thought that I will only work for 11 more years and then can take 5 years of enjoyment before death. This is the best America has to offer. My dream is to outlive the cats and hopefully be able to travel out of country before I die.
I’m not sure how much longer I will be alive. Not only am I on the euthanasia list, but the American government is actively engaged in genocide with a level 3 biohazard known as covid. We are experiencing a 9/11 worth of covid deaths daily, yet the government says the pandemic is “over.” So many people are dying of covid here, they are being put in mass graves.
But to be optimistic on my birthday, I am hoping to live to age 60 to outlive the cats. I need to be able to take care of them and keep them together.
Before the pandemic, when I bought the house, I decided it was time to take care of some important planning as part of being a responsible adult. I wrote my own obituary and outlined my wishes for my funeral. At the time, I considered this “long term planning.”
Part of my planning was that I came up with a playlist of songs that represent my life. I chose 26.2 songs. A marathon is 26.2 miles. I am a marathon runner. There are 26 randoms songs. The .2 are two Christmas songs, kind of as a bonus. My plan was for the playlist to be played at my funeral for people to have something to remember me by and as a way to have insight into my life.
Given that so many people now are just being thrown into mass graves with all of the covid deaths, I highly doubt I will have a funeral or a death how I want it.
I have decided that on my birthday I want to post my playlist today. I want people to celebrate my life. Every day I am alive is a precious gift. I just want to outlive my cats.
I am quite sure that even if I live for another 15 or 20 years and then die, that my playlist will be the same. These are truly songs that tell the story of my life.
I am giving you the annotated version in random order. The songs are not in any particular order. I will post a link to the YouTube version of the song linked to the song title if you want to listen to my playlist. Each song has a brief description of why it has been chosen.
So today on my birthday, I want to celebrate life by sharing with you the 26.2 songs in the key of my life with you. Enjoy. Celebrate being alive. Life is precious and so fleeting.
This is the song that inspired my baby name. Jude did indeed live up to his name. He came into my life at a very challenging time and “took a sad song and made it better.”
This song has been in the background of my life for as long as I remember. It has echoed off the mountains of the Adirondacks. I named a room in my house after this song. I have just lived it and felt it as a part of me always. From childhood to death. I was not as strong as you think. I have always “wished you were here,” but I honestly never knew who I was wishing for because people always flowed through my life like water.
Another song that reflects my life. It’s also about hockey. Every time I hear it, I think of the movie “Miracle.” I love to read. “Half my life is on book’s written pages.”
This was my theme song when I finally completed my bachelor’s degree at Binghamton University in 2011 after having spent 15 year fighting for a 4-year degree while working 2-3 jobs. It also describes exactly what I want for my funeral: “You can take my urn to Fenway spread my ashes all about.”
Wow. This is my Cranberry song. It is my life song. I have literally lived every single lyric in this song. I have “seen the world through a bus windshield.” I spend every Cranberry sitting in an old blue chair. I have often been there to “let go of a lover who took a piece of my heart.” I have fallen asleep in that blue chair and “woke up to a million mesquito bites.” I have lived this song more than any other. It was so hard picking a Kenny song, as he is one of my top 3 favorite artists, but this is my song.
In my dreams. This is the song for when I want to give a middle finger to the world. Plus, it is the perfect beach day song for my many day road trips to the state parks.
This is another song I have lived. This is for my first New York girlfriend. Thank you for breaking the geography barrier for me and for teaching me that I am who I am no matter where I am and that is completely okay. “I got to sing, I got to dance, I got to be a part of a great romance, still forbidden, still outrageous …”
This was for when I reclaimed my childhood by taking drum lessons. This song healed my heart when Kip died. This song healed my heart when Kitty died. I have cried to this song. I have made love to this song. I fell down the stairs (due to my disability) when this song was playing. I danced around the living room (with wine) to this song. It was hard to pick which Flo song to put on this list, but it had to be this one. This song has seen me through good and bad. “Sweeter than Heaven and hotter than Hell”
Pretty much. You would not believe how many people have called me a bitch to my face. So whether you’re here to toast me in respect or spit on my grave, this is for you. “The ones that need me, got me. The ones that doubt me can’t stop me.”
This is the song that I play when driving north for my annual ADK camping trip. It reminds me of the little outside bar in the middle of the woods that you could only get to by hiking.
Many of my best memories come from the beach in winter. Whether it was surfing the waves or just watching a storm come in, I loved being on the oceans and the lakes. I always joke that Taylor should come to the rainbow side and would be my future ex-wife. Her best albums are Lover and Midnights. So I had to include a T.Swift song. This one just brings back wonderful memories of the cottage on Cayuga Lake and the Kennedy Compound on Cape Cod.
This was my theme song for the brief moments in time when I received respite from my disability. It’s how I think about life and I was so happy to be alive and be able to do what I wanted to do.
Def Leppard is my most favorite band of all time. I fell in love with them at 8 years old. I saw them in concert twice. It was so hard to choose, when I love 99% of the songs they’ve ever done. But this one rings true for me and has since I was a child.
I love Dolly. It was hard choosing one of her songs. This is the song that inspired my baby name. Jolene was auburn and white. This is one of the most misunderstood songs in music history. To truly get why this song has spoke to my soul, you need to listen to a podcast called “Dolly Parton’s America” from WNYC Studios (2019) episode 6: “The Only One for Me, Jolene.”
The very first time I went to Boston was in high school back in the 90s for Harvard Model Congress. I had flown up from Virginia and was rooming with this chick who completely blew my mind from Chicago. We listened to REO on vinyl and shared strawberry shortcake at Hard Rock. Of all REO songs, this one exemplifies my life. “If you’re tired of the same old story, turn some pages.”
For my son, Simon. Simon’s name came from many places. It came from Paul Simon, Simon as the character in The Saint, so we had the physics connection with the other kids, and also the Chipmunks. Although, sometimes with his mischief, I would joke he should have been named Alvin. Simon is one of the five most important loves of my life.
This is another song I have lived. This is for my Kennedy Compound secret that we kept for over 20 years. You made me crawl through the window because I would not commit. Yet, my surfboard lived in the garage when I returned from Cali. In memory of days in P-town, nights in Truro and endless sand. All I can say is “thank you.” I left a part of my heart on Kalmus Beach and in at least one part of heaven, I’ll be riding the waves there once again. You were the harmony to my melody.
This reminds me of the person who held my heart in their hands since we were 8 years old. Thank you for giving me some of my best and most memorable birthdays in my 30s. You chose cocaine over me. I’m not judging, I’m not sad, I’m not mad. I was still here for you until I took my last breath. I hope you know that.
This is for the person who not only provided me safe harbor in the storm, but also gave me the strength to stand on my own two feet on the shore without getting pummeled by waves. You taught me to surf. You taught me about wine. You gave me freedom, light and love. Then, you moved on, and it was okay. Thank you for changing my life and giving me the skills I needed to readjust my sails. I listened to this song every Cranberry morning after I met you. You showed me the beauty of lake and ocean in winter.
This song describes what I went through going back and forth between Massachusetts and New York for decades. Every time I crossed the border back into New York, it broke my heart. I was crying so hard, it’s a wonder I did not get ticketed more than what I did.
This was my running theme song for the first half of my running career. I had claimed it before it became popular with the rest of the running community. I grew up in poverty. I know exatly what this song was talking about. Running was my one chance in life to be great.
This was my running theme song for the second half of my running career. It outlines exactly what it takes to run a marathon. When your body gives out, you run with your heart.
This song reminds me of growing up, but especially, high school. I’ve always believed this to be true, even in the times when I felt I had nothing more to give. “It ain’t the life you choose, but the life you live.”
This song describes the existential crisis I experienced my entire life from the moment I could think. I have always oscillated between happiness being found on the highway or parked in the driveway.
This song reminds me of my childhood. It reminds me of my grandfather working his farm and teaching me that the most important thing in life is to work hard to provide for your family. You have to work hard so you can love. I spent 25 years working 60-80 hour weeks trying to make ends meet before my disability made me slow down to 40 hours a week. I would not have made it if not for the lessons my grandfather taught me.
This is my favorite Christmas song by my favorite Christian rock band. I love the bass on it. The drums on this song is how the little drummer boy is supposed to sound.
Happy 11th Birthday, Jude! Valentine’s Day 2023 is Jude’s 11th birthday. It is also his Gotcha Day. He has been with me for 9 years. Jude was adopted at age 2. He had been taken by the Humane Society from a hoarding situation that had over 30 cats crammed into a tiny trailer.
Jude was very shy in the shelter. He did not want to come out of his cage. The shelter workers said he got along with all of the other cats and played gently with them, keeping his claws in. Jude was the perfect companion for Kitty, who was 15 when Jude entered our home. Kitty was heartbroken over the loss of his lifelong companion, Kip. When Jude arrived, he truly did take a sad song and make it better.
Jude played gently with Kitty and was with him through his final years and battle with cancer. When Kitty passed away, I told Jude he was going to be an only child. That lasted about 7 months before Jude started driving me nuts and obviously needed a feline companion.
Jude is now the eldest brother to younger siblings Simon and Jolene. Jude took to Simon right away. They are best friends and often cuddle and groom each other. Jude is the same. With Jolene. Sometimes, I think Jude plays rough with Simon. However, it could just be the contrast with how gentle he was with Kitty.
The funny thing is, Jude treats Jolene much the same as he treated Kitty. Jude will play with Jolene, but very gently, and not for long. Jolene often chases Jude. He does nothing to retaliate. You can tell Jolene is in charge.
This is in contrast to when Simon and Jolene play together. They both give and take quite equally.
As Jude is celebrating 9 years with me, he has now officially been living in the house longer than we were in the apartment. This house is truly his furever home. You can tell he is much happier in the house than he was in the apartment. I do not think he was unhappy in the apartment. He just seems happier in the house.
In the house, there is more room to run and play. Jude plays more in the house. He is comfortable here. He often rolls around on the floor, which is his indication he wants attention, pets, and play.
All three cats have now officially lived in this house longer than they have lived any place else in their lives. This is home for them. Personally, I will have to be in this house another decade before it surpasses the time I lived in the apartment.
For the cats, this is home. It’s the home they have known. This is where we will be living for the rest of our lives.
I did not intend to adopt Jude on Valentine’s Day. We had a snowstorm that year and the schools all closed. The roads were bad, but not that bad. Since I unexpectedly had the day off, I decided to go meet Jude early. I had been planning on meeting him the following week. I honestly did not know if he would be the right cat to be a companion for Kitty or if we would get along or not. As soon as I met him, I knew he was the right one.
He refused to come out of his cage, but he was fine with me opening the cage, petting him, and interacting with him. Jude has so much love to give.
In the past 9 years, he has come so far. He has gone from sitting next to me on the couch to actually sitting on my lap at times. He does love pets and play, but definitely on his own terms. He hates to be picked up.
Jude is very loving with his siblings and is the perfect older brother. Jude will always be my Valentine. I am so glad I took a chance on this shy cat that everyone else had overlooked. He has the sweetest personality, if you have the patience to work with him and allow him to come out on his own terms.
Jude loves being on the bed during the day when I am no longer in it. Sometimes he does sleep in the bed with me at night, but always near my feet. That’s ok. It’s on his terms. I love it when all three cats are in the bed with me at night.
Jude loves laying on the couch with me when reading or watching the DVD player. Since being in the house, he is much more playful. He enjoys his toys and his cactus scratching posts.
This house is the furever home for all three cats now. We will be here until they have all passed. Jude seems to love the space in the house much more than the apartment. There is also lots of entertainment outside the windows with birds, squirrels and neighbors.
Happy Birthday, Jude. Happy Gotcha Day, Jude. We are in our furever home. Thank you so much for taking a sad song and making it better.
Decluttering sentimental items is the most difficult and challenging aspect of minimalism. It is advanced minimalism, and should be undertaken last. Before attempting to declutter sentimental items, you should have experience in exercising your decluttering muscles. Downsizing categories such as clothing, the kitchen and the bathroom should be categories you have addressed well before sentimental items.
Leaving sentimental items until last allows you to build your minimalist muscle. If you attempt to declutter sentimental items too early, you set yourself up for failure. Not only do you fail to declutter the items, but you experience all the feelings involved that make the items sentimental from the beginning. It can cause you a setback in your decluttering journey.
I have finally reached the stage where I am ready to declutter sentimental items. I have tried to declutter this category before and I failed. That’s okay. My initial sweep through the sentimental category, I downsized sentimental items from three storage bins to one storage bin. Sometimes you have to take baby steps.
If you are just starting with the sentimental item category, I do recommend taking it in steps. First, gather all of your sentimental items together. Second, try to curate your collection. I found that downsizing from three storage bins to one storage bin was a challenging, yet doable goal.
The other tip that was helpful for me was that once I downsized from three storage bins to one storage bin, I took the two storage bins that were going to be “leaving” and left them in a closet for a year. After that year, I was completely okay with the two storage bins leaving and just having the one bin of mementos. In fact, after the year, I had completely forgotten what was inside the other two bins. You can’t miss what you don’t remember, can you?
This was a few years ago that I undertook the three bins to one bin exercise. I am finally at a point in my decluttering journey where I am able to address the one bin that is left. Granted, the one bin is about 90% full of items from my childhood. I’m sure your sentimental bin may look different.
Here are reasons why I am now finding it easier to get rid of the remaining bin of sentimental items.
I had a horrible childhood. Why do I want to keep items that remind me of the most traumatic time period of my life? Did I enjoy playing with those toys? No, I did not. I lived in a state of abuse and perpetual fear. The toys in the bin were given to me by someone else in the family, who had absolutely no idea of my favorite toys as a child. They had just set aside toys that they liked or thought I would have wanted. I don’t want them. Now, some of these items are worth money. I have a pair of pristine Sonny and Cher Barbies as well as one of the original preemie Cabbage Patch dolls that came in a plain cardboard box from Sears before they started putting them in shiny, colorful packaging with a plastic “window” to see inside. I still don’t want them. They do not invoke any happy memories.
I have no children. Some people keep a set of their most loved toys to pass down to their own children. I have no children to give these toys to. They are just sitting in a box, not being used, played with or loved. They are taking up space. Toys are intended to bring joy. I’m sure there are children out there who would find joy in playing with them.
They are not benefitting my life. The toys are sitting in a box taking up space. I am decluttering my house in anticipation of an international move. I refuse to pay international shipping to take those items with me. What’s going to happen to them when I move again? They are going to sit in a box in the closet same as they are now. Why pay time, money and energy to move something from place to place that is going to sit unused.
Swedish Death Cleaning. What will happen to this box of toys when I die? They will either be thrown out or donated. Why not get rid of them now so they have the opportunity to bring joy to some child.
Is this difficult? Yes, it is. While none of these items evoke happy memories, it is still difficult to get rid of them. Yet when I sit down and think about it, I cannot think of one good reason to keep them. Do they bring me joy? No, they do not. It is still difficult, emotional and sad to get rid of them. Don’t ask me how. Emotions are complicated that way. You know those times when you feel all the feelings. Even though they evoke negative emotions, I also have negative emotions about getting rid of pieces of my childhood even if it was bad.
In addition to the one bin of childhood toys, I have other sentimental items that will be leaving this year. My entire jewelry collection will be leaving. The only piece of jewelry I am keeping is my mother’s necklace that has Jude, Simon and Jolene’s names on a heart with their birth stones. Why do I need jewelry? It does not bring me joy. No one sees me. My mother’s necklace brings me joy. I am keeping that.
Since the pandemic has started, life has become a story of survival. With no end to the pandemic in sight, why would I need items like jewelry? They are unnecessary baubles. They are not essential for survival. I am downsizing all my items to only those that are necessary or that bring me joy. The other jewelry pieces do not bring me joy. I would not want to take the other jewelry pieces with me on an international move.
I can only wear one necklace at a time. Ok, ok, I’m sure you can wear two or three necklaces at a time. However, that just makes me think of some cheesy 80s rapper concerned with their bling. I personally prefer to wear one necklace at a time. My mother’s necklace is the only one that is meaningful and brings me joy, so it stays. Every other piece of jewelry I have is not irrelevant.
When life is reduced to survival, you really take stock of what is important in life.
There are some sentimental items that are still in the gradual reduction process. There are some items that are too difficult emotionally to leave. I have put those in a box for a year. We will see how I feel at the end of the year. Will I pull items out of the box because I want to look at them or keep them? Will I even remember what is in the box at the end of the year.
To clarify, I do not have a life devoid of meaning. I do have sentimental items I have kept such as my mother’s necklace. I have curated a photo album of my greatest hits / best memories which I take out often and look through fondly. I have some sentimental items that are either in use or on display in my home. I’m not saying to life a life without meaning or sentiment. I am saying to curate what you have. If you love it, display it. Leaving toys in a box for 30 years and shuttling them around from place to place – those are the types of items you really need to question about leaving.
What tips do you have for decluttering sentimental items?
My most favorite thing in America is our glassware. Specifically, I love Ball mason jars and Homer & Shakespeare Laughlin’s Fiesta ware. Both companies are over 100 years old and showcase the best America has to offer.
Previously, I had been all rah-rah USA. I was in support of our troops, our country, and had many American flag themed items. Before the pandemic, I was very patriotic. That all ended on January 6, 2021. As some of my neighbors participated in the insurrection and are currently serving jail terms, I can now say that every single time I see an America flag, the only thing I feel is fear. (You should have seen the parades they had just before and right after the insurrection.)
I am ashamed to be an American these past four years when we are living through a genocide perpetuated by a government that wrongly declares covid to be “over.” With millions of Americans being deliberately killed by a known biohazard, I cannot wait to leave this country of such hate and murder. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that America would let its own citizens die in a pandemic because it’s too hard to instate a mask mandate and improve ventilation.
When thinking of leaving America, I would have to say that the only thing I will miss about this country is our glassware. Yes, I’m sure that the glassware in other countries is spectacular as well. However, I will genuinely miss mason jars and fiesta ware when I leave the USA.
While most mason jars are clear, I do have some of the 100-year anniversary jars that are blue color. When Ball first started making mason jars over 100 years ago, the glass had a natural blue tint due to the weather conditions where the jars were made. I love how mason jars are standard sizes with gradations. While originally used for canning food, mason jars are versatile in their uses. Nothing works quite as hard in the American kitchen as the mason jar.
As an adult, I am also privileged to have been able to invest in a set of fiesta ware. Fiesta ware is guaranteed to be lead-free, which is a hard found luxury in the USA. They are made with different colors with whimsical names. Each year, a new color is introduced while an existing color is retired. Some people will have a color theme in their house. Others just mix and match.
Fiesta ware is delightful in its colors. The quality of the glassware is high. It is long lasting, often handed down from generations. Some families have fiesta ware passed down from grandparents. The glassware is durable and difficult to chip or break.
Our color theme for fiesta ware in my household consists of:
Daffodil (a yellow color)
Shamrock (a green that was recently retired)
Lemongrass (a light green)
Lapis (a blue)
Peony (a pink that was recently introduced, although we have one peony item – a mug)
We do not consider peony to be part of our “original” color theme
All of our human dishes and all of our cat dishes are fiesta ware. I believe in giving my cats the very best. I actually upgraded all my cat food and cat water dishes to fiesta ware before my human dishes. The cats’ lives are shorter than human lives. They deserve to live the good life. After all, the greatest gift they bring to our lives is unconditional love and joy.
In preparing to leave the USA and move to some other country, I am downsizing my house. No, I am not getting rid of any of my mason jars or fiesta ware. My mason jars and fiesta ware are all being used and bring us joy. However, when the time comes to actually make the move out of country, the mason jars and fiesta ware will be leaving. I am not going to attempt to transport glassware with me internationally. I plan to only immigrate with the basics.
Mason jars and fiesta ware will be the only American items I will miss when I leave this country. Everything else I can do without. The glassware I use every day brings me such joy. It is hard to think of going to another country and starting over with different glassware.
There was a story on the news recently about people who immigrated to the USA. They were asked about the one item that they brought with them from their home country that reminded them of home. For me, it would be a mason jar and fiesta ware.
What would you miss the most if you were to leave the USA or your home country?
The first fall I was in the house, I noticed muddy paw prints on my car in the garage. I bought the house at the end of August. It did not take long for me to realize that there were stray cats using my garage as a place of refuge.
That winter, I noticed that the strays were still outside, even in temperatures below zero. It was obvious the cats were homeless! Who in their right mind would let or leave their pet outside in temperatures below freezing? I quickly purchased a bin from the store and made the outside cats a shelter, complete with insulation.
Fast forward to current times. We have been in this house for almost four and a half years. There are now a total of four insulated outside cat shelters and two feeding stations. There were three strays that I call my originals – those were the ones that I saw that first fall and winter of being in the house.
Then, last January, two kittens were thrown out of a truck. I am a permanent remote worker, so I saw the whole thing happen while working. No, I do not spend my entire work day looking out the window. However, when an unknown vehicle drives erratically into the area and does something as outrageous as throwing not one, but two helpless animals out of a moving vehicle, you kind of take notice.
That means that as of January 2022, there were 5 outside cats under my care. There were the three originals and the two kittens thrown from a truck.
On top of all this, there is a dog fighting ring in the area that is using the outside stray cats as bait. They are often spray-painted various colors. The SPCA refuses to shut down the dog fighting ring. They said that it brings in too much money. When I asked “what about the cats being used as bait?” Their exact response was, and I quote, “they will adapt.”
They won’t adapt. They will/are being maimed and murdered.
I reached out to a different non-profit animal rescue in our area that is run 100% by volunteers and donations. With their help, I was able to trap two cats last winter and get them into shelter. They have both already been adopted into loving homes. One of the kittens and one of my “originals” that had been spray painted a very bright green by the dog fighting ring.
That means that as of March 2022, I was left caring for three outside cats – one of the kittens thrown from a truck and two of my “originals.” The rescue knows that I am working with these cats. I am providing them with food, water, insulated shelters, and a safe place of refuge. They know there is a dog fighting ring in the area and that I am trying to trap the cats and get them into the rescue to be adopted.
The rescues have been full. Americans are cruelly dumping their pets for no legitimate reason. Every few months, I reach out to see if there is space to take one of the cats. All through the spring, summer, and fall they have said they are full.
Last week, there was a space available. I had reached out because it looked like one of the outside cats (Tom) had an injury and needed medical care. I asked the rescue if they could take one in, as he looked in need of help. They said yes.
Tom was my third cat trapped and taken to shelter. He was the most difficult. With the first two cats, I was able to get them transported to the rescue within a few hours of being trapped. The rescue just came and got the trap with the cat in it and away they went to safety.
Tom was trapped on Thursday afternoon. The rescue said they would not have space to take him until Friday morning. They had some adoptions on Thursday that would clear up space, plus they wanted to prepare.
I could not leave Tom in the trap for 18 hours outside when it was supposed to get below freezing that night. That would be dangerous and cruel.
I brought Tom inside into my basement. I had to keep him separate from my inside house cats so he would not spread any diseases. Tom was one of my originals I had been caring for 4.5 years. He was an intact male. Who knows what fleas/ticks/diseases he had.
So I brought the cat trap into the basement where he would be heated and not freeze in the trap overnight. I felt bad about him being in a little trap for so long, so I transferred him to a dog cage complete with blankets, cat pan, food and water. I thought he would be more comfortable that way for the 18 hour wait until the rescue was able to take him in.
The rescue saga completely fell apart Friday morning when I was unable to transfer Tom from the dog cage to a cat carrier. He escaped me.
To make a long story short, he spent the entire day (over 12 hours) in my basement hiding. I had to reset the trap to trap him again in the basement. I honestly did not think I would be able to trap him a second time. Tom is smart and Tom is hardy to have survived life outside for as long as he did through many winters of below zero weather.
Surprisingly, I did trap Tom a second time. I was not stupid enough to try any more transfers. I left him in the trap. He was in the trap for over 12 hours before he was taken into rescue. That is the exact situation I was trying to avoid from the beginning, but I learned the hard way, that situation was unavoidable.
The rescue worker came to help me get him out of the basement, as he was too strong for me. We almost lost him a second time trying to get him into the car to take to rescue.
I am happy to report that Tom is at the rescue. He has heat, food, water, love and medical care for the rest of his life. He has been seen by the veterinarian. They estimate he is over 10 years old (a senior). He has dental issues and is indeed an intact male. He has injuries which are most likely from the dog fighting ring.
Whether he is adopted into a living home or not, the rescue has assured me that he has a space there as one of their “forever residents” if need be. Never again will Tom be outside when it is 30 degrees below zero outside. He will get the medical and dental care he needs. He will be neutered.
Rescuing Tom was heartbreaking as he was one of my “originals.” I had provided care for him as a stray for 4.5 years. But honestly, what Tom needs is a loving home. I am so glad he was taken into rescue where he will receive the care he so desperately needs and deserves.
This means that right now I am left caring for two outside cats.
There is Kenny, who I am guessing to be about 1-2 years old. Kenny is one of the kittens that was thrown out of a truck last winter. Kenny pretty much lives in my garage. He sleeps in one of the insulated shelters. I have a snuggle safe heat disc I use to help him through the winter. I see him every morning when I take food outside. He then goes about his day. I see him every night when I bring the food dishes inside and reheat his heat disc. He sleeps in the insulated shelter.
I can tell Kenny misses Tom. They would both be there for breakfast in the morning. I would see Kenny and Tom playing together and grooming each other. It was almost as if “grandpa” Tom had taken kitten Kenny under his wing.
The second outdoor cat still left is one of my originals. Flower is very elusive. She was thrown out of the house next door. The people in that house have since moved and new people live there. Flower is the cat I saw last winter with a broken leg. She is the first one I tried to trap to be able to get her to medical care. I was not able to trap her. I have a feeling that Flower may be the last cat trapped. She is the most skittish of all the outside cats.
Even Tom was able to get on a feeding schedule after about four years. Flower truly comes and goes as she pleases. She is scared of other cats and all humans. I sometimes go days without seeing Flower.
My goal is to get Kenny and Flower into the shelter also. It’s hard because the shelters are so full. I’m really hoping I can get them both into the shelter for medical care and adoption within the next two years. We will see. It all depends on when the rescue has room to take more.
For now, the Tale of Tom has a happy ending. Tom is right where he needs to be. He is receiving medical care, food, water, heat and love from all of the dedicated volunteers who take care of the cats twice daily.
Good luck on this next part of your journey, Tom. I love you and I miss you.
rewindliveslow 