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Yellow House in the North Country: Heat

/ rachelgoes262 / 2 Comments

It’s the middle of July. We are currently in a heat dome and are drenched in wildfire smoke from Canada. Naturally, you would think this post would be about summer heat. It’s not. 

This post is about winter heat.

Before the furniture even moved into the new house back in September, I had someone out to service the furnace for winter. It was already getting down to freezing at night, and I turned the heat on low so that the pipes would not freeze. Our previous house had natural gas. The new house has oil.

To my surprise, the annual maintenance for an oil furnace not only took much longer than the annual maintenance for my natural gas furnace, but it was also a lot more expensive. I chalked it all up to a learning experience. When I purchased this house, I was told that the furnace was new within the past 5 years.

When touring the house, the furnace looked older than 5 years to me. However, I am unfamiliar with oil heat. From what I heard, oil runs “dirty.” I attributed the fact that the furnace looked older than 5 years to be due to the fact that it was an oil furnace running dirty that had not been serviced in a while.

 The furnace has issues. After that initial service call for annual maintenance in September, I then had a total of three emergency calls this winter for various issues. By chance, one of the techs who came out for pne of the emergency calls told me he had worked on this furnace for years. “Years?” I asked. “They told me this furnace was new within 5 years. The tech laughed. “It’s at least 25 years old.” He said.

Given that the furnace was having so many issues this past winter, I was thinking I need a new one. The last thing I needed was for that furnace to quit when we were buried under 6 feet of snow. No one would be able to get to it to take it out and replace it. Not to mention, we would be without heat.

If I was going to put in a new furnace, I decided I needed to convert from oil to propane. It is very, very hard to get house insurance with oil heat. It’s easier to get house insurance with propane heat. Natural gas is not available in the Adirondacks. We are “off grid.” 

I got an estimate for the conversion. I decided to move ahead with it. The HVAC company doing the conversion told me to run my oil tank out of oil prior to the conversion to make the oil tank easier to remove. It made sense to me. 

The oil furnace was really struggling even more so starting in March. Every day I wondered if it was going to die. It persisted.

Sometime in May, the furnace stopped working. Either I ran the tank out of oil, or the furnace died. I scheduled my conversion for July. The float on the oik tank said I still have ¼ tank of oil left. I’m pretty sure that float is not accurate. It had been on ¼ of a tank for several weeks. 

Once the furnace stopped, we did have some chilly nights. It was still getting down in the 40s at night. There was nothing that could be done. We just piled on extra blankets and waited for summer to come. 

The handyman who helps me said that he thought I should wait until the oil furnace “shit the bed” to convert to get as much use out of it as possible. While it made sense to me, I also did not want to be stuck without heat in winter when no one can get to it to repair or replace. 

I found out from the neighbor next door that the people who sold the house KNEW the furnace had issues. They had rigged a lamp to it. When the furnace quit, the lamp would glow red and the neighbor knew to call the kids for repair. The woman who owned this house died and her kids inherited it, so it sat empty for a year. They had it priced way too high. 

When they sold this house, they said that furnace was 5 years old. It was 25 years old and had issues. They knew it had issues because they had that lamp rigged to it so that the neighbor could call for service when it quit.

The conversion from oil to propane is currently on day two of a three-day process.

They took my oil furnace out on day one. I did not, in fact, run the oil tank out of oil. The oil furnace died. It legitimately “Shit the bed,” as the handyman suggested I wait for. Thankfully, it shit the bed in May instead of in January when we got 6 feet of snow over 5 days. 

What was wrong with the furnace? Well, it had a cracked converter. If you know anything about furnaces, you know that a cracked converter is a HUGE issue. First, a cracked converter is not something that can be fixed. It is the death punch to a furnace. Second, a cracked converter is not only a huge fire exposure but also a huge carbon monoxide hazard. We are SO, SO lucky we did not have either the smoke alarms, the carbon monoxide alarms, or both going off at any point this winter up until that thing died.

I truly think Angel Jude has been watching over us. The neighbors at the old house attempted to burn down our house in July 2025 and then pounded on the door every single night screaming “Fire!” I have major PTSD over anything fire related. If either the smoke alarms or the carbon monoxide alarms go off in this new house, I would have major meltdown. First, I would need to get all the cats out of the house. But I would have major meltdown.

I would not feel safe in our new house if one of those alarms had gone off because the furnace was dying. I am still trying to overcome the trauma of attempted arson from our old house last year. 

I am really glad I decided to move forward and schedule the conversion when I did.

The conversion Is challenging due to the layout of the house. The technicians are excellent. 

As I said, we are on day two of conversion right now. They are currently working.

On day three of conversion, our propane tanks will be delivered. The gas company will hook everything up, check all the lines for leaks, fire up the new furnace, and be sure we have heat. They will do al their safety inspections. Then the HVAC company will come back and do all their safety inspections once it has the propane to run. 

I have all brand-new carbon monoxide and smoke alarms installed in this new house too. 

Say a little prayer that all goes well. This is the largest home project I have ever done.

When we were in the old house, I had plans to do upgrades and projects there too. I did do some of the upgrades. I upgraded all the plumbing in that house. It had galvanized steel piping that was over 100 years old that I replaced. Other than that, I ended up spending almost $17,000 to repair intentional damage that the neighbors caused to that house. 

I didn’t get to do any more upgrades to the house I sold because I was constantly repairing damage that they had caused. No, I did not put in claims on my home insurance. I know better. If I had, I never would have been able to sell that house because there would have been an open lawsuit for intentional damage. Not to mention, anytime I made a report, their behavior escalated. If I had put claims on my house insurance for the damage they caused, we would not have been able to sell. We would not have been able to leave.

Paying $17,000 to repair the intentional damages they caused is part of the reason why I was only able to break even on that house. 

In our new home here in the North County, we are safe. No one is causing intentional damage to this house. That means that when I fix something, I am either taking care of maintenance or doing an upgrade. I can actually plan and dream in this house.

One thing I wanted to do in the old house and never got to do was to paint rooms. I have never painted a room in my life. I never got the chance in that house. I was constantly scrambling with harassment, damages, and injuries inflicted upon me by those neighbors.

In this new house, I want to paint a room. I have never done it before. 

The first room I paint will be one of the upstairs rooms. I don’t go upstairs much. That way if I don’t do a good job of it, I won’t have to see it every day. I want to have the experience of being able to do some things myself without having to try to hire and pay people.

If painting an upstairs room goes well, then I really want to paint one wall (an “accent” wall) in my bathroom. I am thinking either mint green or sage green.

Both rooms upstairs are dark colors. One is a dark brown! I want to paint it something light and brighten it up. That way it looks bigger too. 

I won’t do any painting projects until next year. I already have my hands full this year with the oil to propane conversion and plumbing and electric work I had to have done when we first moved in. 

Once our new furnace is up and going, I am done with house projects for 2026. I need to rest and save money. I will save the painting for 2027. 

That’s not entirely true. I think I may need to try to stain my deck this fall. We will see. 

For now, we are on day two of three for our oil to propane conversion. Please hold us in your thoughts that it all goes well and that we have heat with no problems this winter. 

I will say that this house is the warmest house I have ever lived in during the winter. I’m hoping we have good luck when we are on propane this year instead of on oil. I don’t want to have any service calls. I definitely don’t want any alarms going off. 

In the middle of a heat dome, we are making sure we will have heat for our second Noth Country winter. 

Furniture and Settling

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

Everyone rearranges their home differently. Furniture placement often depends on how the room is laid out. The placement of windows, doors and electrical outlets can dictate how you set up a room. For me specifically, I set mine up in a way that maximizes cat comfort. That means access to all windows and plenty of play space.

When we were in the apartment and later in the old house, I have always had my window AC unit in my bedroom. I need it to be able to sleep at night in the summer. The bedroom is also typically a smaller room that is easier to cool than the living room or other large rooms in the house. 

In the new house, room layout has made it so that my window AC unit cannot be in the bedroom (for multiple reasons). It must be in some other room. I narrowed down the options to one of two windows. One window in the sunroom and one window in the living room. The AC unit is in the living room.

A few weeks ago, when we were under the first heat dome of the summer, I was struggling to sleep because the AC unit is not in the bedroom. I have a fan in the bedroom, but it is not enough. I decided that I wanted to pull the bed out of the couch and sleep in the living room near the AC unit for a few nights.

The way my living room is currently set up for everyday use does not leave enough space to pull the bed out of the couch. I had to rearrange the furniture to be able to do that.

It sounds simple enough. Somehow, when I went to do it, rearranging furniture was not simple. It was simple to physically do, but not emotionally. 

You see, in the old house. My furniture placement was dictated by the neighbors. Yes, I know. It sounds crazy. But when the people across the street drive their truck into the front of your house, you seriously reconsider furniture placement.

When they drove the truck into the front of the old house, they drove up over the curb, over the sidewalk, into the bushes in front of the house, and into the front porch before stopping. I was woken up in the night by the crash. Luckily, I was sleeping in my bed in my bedroom. It was not a night when I had fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie. If that truck had come into the house any farther, it would have been in my living room. 

The sheriff officer who responded even mentioned that I might want to be careful using my living room because it would probably happen again. I emptied the entire living room. I rearranged all the furniture in my house in way that if they drove into the house again and came in further, we would be safe. I started actively discouraging the cats from being in that room. 

Anyone who came into my house thought the furniture was set up weird. That’s because the neighbors drove into the front of my house. The Sheriff told me to expect it to happen again. 

There was half a house I could not use at the old house due to neighbor issues. It wasn’t safe. In addition to the vehicles driving into the house, there was the gunfire and the deliberate aiming of fireworks at the house that all happened on the side of the house facing those bad neighbors. 

When I went back to the old house at the end of August 2025 with the moving truck to take everything out before the sale, the one neighbor across the street threatened the two men I had hired to load the truck for me. It was a nerve-wracking move. It was so nerve wracking that I completely forgot all the items in the garage and one item in the basement that I had wanted to take with me. Things were left behind (like all my snow shovels).

I was fortunate in that kind people helped with our Amazon wish list once we were in the new house and replaced some of the items that got left behind like the snow shovels. I did not intend to leave items behind. It’s just that we were trying to get everything out of that house as fast as possible before that neighbor escalated and there was gunfire or police involvement (not that they would have responded).

The men who loaded the truck held their ground with the threatening neighbor. They made sure I left first and they followed me. They did tell me after that they were close to calling the troopers due to his behavior but wanted to just get the truck loaded and out of there as quickly as possible.

In the new house, it has been hard to overcome that programming from the old house that I have to keep everything as contained as possible and cannot spread out in my own house for safety reasons. 

When I rearranged the furniture so I could pull the bed out of the couch, that was hard emotionally. In fact, I only slept on the couch one night. I did not sleep well. I was scared. I know we are safe here and that no one here will drive into the front of the house, but I was still scared.

The other challenge in all this is that I have not really used the garage or the basement in the new house due to the experience we had with moving. 

I do have some items in the garage. Part of the issue with the garage is that when I bought this house, there was a lot of stuff left in it from the previous owner. I have all that stuff piled in the garage. I am working with someone (a “junk” truck) to come and take all that stuff from the prior owner out of my garage. So, I do have things, like the lawnmower and the roof rake, that I want to put in the garage and are currently in my sunroom due to the fact there is no room in the garage to put them. 

Once all the stuff from the prior owner is gone, I have things I want to put in the garage. I will put them there.

The basement is a harder location for me to handle. So many times, when the neighbors at the old house were being abusive, the basement is where we had to hide. It was the safest place from the booming and from the bullets. 

Now that we are safe in the new house, I don’t want to go to the basement. I go down every morning to check the live mouse traps and that is it. 

Right before the heat dome started this summer, I did put a few things in the basement that needed to be kept cooler. I put the WD-40 and a few other items down there. So, I am finally using the basement in this house. There is one tote bin of items in the basement.

Obviously, it’s going to take time to settle into this house. I have a lot of traumas with the daily neighbor harassment, boom cars, and attempted arson that we lived through. We are grateful to finally live someplace safe where we are not being harassed daily. I can finally sleep through the night without someone pounding on my door at all hours of the night. 

Rearranging furniture is an issue I need to work though. I can arrange my furniture in any way I want. We can safely use this entire house. We no longer must live in fear of people driving their truck into the front of the house or of fireworks being deliberately shot at the house from directly in front of it. 

We are so grateful to now live in a house we can safely use. I just need to get used to the idea that I am safe to sleep in my living room if I want. 

Smaller Space

/ rachelgoes262 / 4 Comments

Back in August, I had started a blog post about the forced exodus from our old house due to abusive neighbors. I wrote about the attempted arson and daily harassment we experienced that necessitated that we leave under extreme duress for temporary safe housing that I only disclosed to very few people. It made sense to write about it at the time I was living it, especially when everyone in that area (except the attorney) was normalizing the abuse we experienced. 

Reading that now, I relived what we lived through this summer. It was very traumatizing. I am not ready to talk about or post about the attempt on our lives that occurred this summer and the subsequent daily harassment we experienced by the neighbors. 

Suffice it to say, we are now in permanent housing several hours away from those horrible people. We are safe. We no longer experience daily harassment, abuse or threats. We can sleep through the night without being deliberately woken up. I can walk outside safely without being physically attacked. 

It was very hard to leave an area and a community I was part of for over 20 years. We were literally bullied out of our home we had known for decades due to two families who were engaging in various criminal activities.

Now that we are in a safe place, I am learning a completely new location This is the hardest move I have made since the 90s. 

When we initially left, I could only take the cats in the car and whatever I could fit in the trunk. We had to arrange the leaving at a safe time when I would not be physically attacked or otherwise physically prevented from leaving. A few weeks later, when I went back with a moving truck to move all my belongings out of the old house, the moving men were threatened with assault by the neighbors. It was a rough situation.

I had spent all summer downsizing and minimizing the house. I knew we would be moving to a smaller space, even though I did not know where we were going. 

When they say, you and your belongings grow and increase to match the size of the space in which you live, that saying is true. 

While I got rid of over three truckloads of stuff before the move, it was eye opening to see how much I really have now that we are living someplace that is literally half the size of the house we fled. 

At first, it was encouraging to find that all my belongings fit into a 16-foot moving truck with room to spare. I had friends who kept saying I had way too much stuff and there was no way everything would fit into a 16-foot moving truck. To my surprise and delight, they were wrong! 

All my belongings were stored in the moving truck for about 8 days before we could get into permanent housing. To be honest, I mostly forgot about what was in there. 

The cats and I were in temporary safe housing with only what had fit into the trunk of my car. It was very freeing as well as eye opening to see how little we needed on a day-to-day basis. What was most important was that the cats and I were together through the entire ordeal and that we were all safe. 

While I was elated that all my belongings fit into a 16-foot moving truck with room to spare, moving into our new home was a bit of a comedown. With half the living space, it now feels like I have way too much stuff. 

We have only been in our new home for a month. In addition to unpacking and getting settled in our new home, I am learning a new area, working full-time, attending to all our medical needs, and had to deal with the fact that Sophie was totaled in this transition. 

It’s been a lot of change and a lot of trauma.

When it snows this winter and things slow down, minimizing will be back on my radar again in full force. This house feels cluttered with all our stuff in it. It is overwhelming. Therefore, things need to be removed.

I’ve seen how little we needed when we were living the emergency those few weeks in temporary safe housing. We do not need all the stuff in the new house with us now. 

The biggest difference between the temporary safe house and our permanent home is that when we were in temporary housing, we were in an urban area. It was easy to get things there and access resources such as groceries and laundry. In our new permanent home, on-site laundry is a necessity. Other necessities we need in our permanent home that were not relevant in temporary housing include emergency supplies for winter, as we are not in an urban area close to amenities. 

If people get more things to fill a larger space, then we must conversely get rid of things to fit a smaller space. 

Our weeks in temporary housing showed me how little we need. The challenge will be curating the items in our permanent home down to what will fit here without being cluttered. 

On top of everything I am doing trying to get settled in a new area, I am also trying to take time for me. The cats and I need to heal from all the abuse we suffered at the hands of the neighbors. Jolene especially has been traumatized. She had always been a friendly, outgoing cat until the summer when the neighbors escalated. Now she is timid and fearful. We are all still mourning Jude. I feel so guilty I could not get him out of that house before he passed. We all have a lot of trauma to process as the result of the daily harassment we experienced and attempt on our lives. 

This winter expect to see a return to minimalism as we acclimate to a smaller space. I’m now looking at it with fresh eyes after our experience being in temporary housing for so long and having to flee our prior house under extreme threat and duress. I have a lot of “comfort items” that were not comforting and not needed when we were living the emergency. You don’t realize how little you need until you can only leave with a very small, space restricted amount of stuff. 

The good news is, that chapter of our life of horror is behind us. We have a new chapter ahead. While it has it’s challenges, we are all safe and no longer in physical danger. We can finally get back to our roots at Rewind Live Slow. 

Preparing for a Move

/ rachelgoes262 / 1 Comment

Minimalism takes on new meaning when you are preparing for a move. This move is not a joyful one – it’s not happiness about a new location or some other positive attribute that prompted the move. This is a move of necessity for safety. What makes it even more precarious is that we need a new place to live. I don’t know where we are going. I just know we need to leave.

This move will need to be done as quickly and as easily as possible. To be honest, when I bought this house, I thought it was my forever home. I truly thought we would be here for the rest of our lives and never move again. Never say never.  Hopefully the move coming up this summer will be the final move. Fingers crossed. 

I’ve been on this minimalist journey for a while now, but it’s different when you are moving. Here is what’s happening:

There were a lot of items in this house from the previous owner when I purchased it. The person had passed away, family members inherited it, and they did not clean it out completely. A few years ago, I hired a junk truck to take most of the items that had been left in the basement – rusted and broken tools, and items that were decades old. I found a very interesting fire alarm circa 1950s that I tried to donate to the Historical Society. 

There are still items in this house (mainly the garage) from the prior owner. I do not want to do to the next owners of this house what was done to me and leave a bunch of junk behind.

Everything in this house will either be going with me, donated, or junked. Obviously, the preference is donation, but broken items and many of the items from the previous owner need to be junked. 

In packing for the move, I am only taking with me what is necessary. I am getting rid of a lot of stuff. Some of it is stuff I like and use but am not willing to move. A lot of things I’m getting rid of because they are associated with this house, and I do not want to take things with me that remind me of this place. Some items I would keep if we were staying in this house, but I don’t want to move them.

You don’t realize how much stuff you have until you are trying to get it down into the smallest space possible. Most of the items moving with me are winter items like blankets. Winter blankets are bulky and take up space. 

Some things that are leaving:

Teaching Supplies – I’m getting rid of all my teaching supplies. Honestly, this is hard. As you may know, many teachers purchase supplies using their own funds. While I enjoyed teaching, I lost my teaching job because no one could hear me. (No, “noise canceling headphones” did not help with the level of noise coming from vehicles here). I would like to volunteer my time to teach English as a Second Language again moving forward but now is not the time. We need to be someplace safe first.

My 23-year-old TV set – This one is hard. I have never had cable, but I have used the TV to watch DVDs. That is, when I can hear the TV. A few months ago, I thought the TV was starting to die – it had some discoloration in the bottom right corner of the screen. Then the discoloration went away, and it has acted normally. It is possible there is a tube going in the TV. At any rate, I don’t think it will survive another move. Even if it did survive another move, I don’t want to move it. I haven’t been able to enjoy my DVDs in two years now; I will go without. A TV is not something that’s important when you are leaving a bad situation. 

My under desk / walking pad treadmill. This is in the basement. I got it so I would be able to run inside. When I go outside, I have been chased and taunted by children on bicycles (they were upset my security alarm went off when they were throwing rocks at my car and they were told to stop). It has been safer to try to run inside. It works, but I have no intention of moving it with me. Wherever we go, it will be safe to walk around outside again.

Tech Waste – There is tech waste in this home that should have left sooner but has been languishing in a “tech graveyard.” My microwave broke last fall. The broken microwave needs to leave. There is a laptop from 15 years ago and a broken robot vacuum. 

A note on robot vacuums: I did enjoy the robot vacuum and felt like it helped me. However, after the robot vacuum broke, and now that I am faced with properly disposing of it, I am realizing it did not help me as much as I thought. Whether you use a traditional or a robot vacuum, you still must pick things up off the floor and move items around to be sure everything is cleaned. The robot vacuum often gets stuck on things like heat vents, so you must be alerted to rescue it. The robot vacuum was more work than it was help. It’s quicker to just use the traditional vacuum and do it yourself. 

I will be much more thoughtful moving forward before purchasing technology and small appliances. 

I am proud to say that I have minimized items enough that when I packed up CDs, DVDs and books, I only had one box each. In the case of books, the box was not even full, so I put other light items in there with the books. To be honest, DVDs and CDs are not things I have been able to enjoy the past two years here. I have been able to sit and relax with a book when things are calm. It’s been nice to get lost in a novel when things are challenging. 

I am grateful that due to my minimizing efforts over the past several years, I only have one box of Christmas items to move. I am looking forward to being able to enjoy Christmas this year in a new, safe location. 

Many things have already been downsized and donated, so in going through items now, it is truly a matter of “I don’t want to move this,” or “this is not necessary for survival in an emergency situation.” Once we get to a new location and can relax and enjoy a living space again, then I may decide that I want new items to enjoy. For now, this is about survival.

Of course, the most important part of the entire equation is keeping the cats and I together. I had bought this house to keep us together. We need a new place to live. That is the only thing that matters.

When it is time to move this summer, I currently have everything packed except for the kitchen, my clothes, and work. This entire process is stressful and disruptive. I am hoping that things come together for us to obtain new housing soon. 

I’m trying to make this move as small and as efficient as possible. I remember when we moved from the apartment to this house, the people who helped me move commented on how organized it was. Everything was moved in a day. I have always done a DIY move. This will be the first move that I am unable to DIY due to my health.

 I will need to pay professional movers for this one who can load a truck, drive a truck, and unload the truck for me. I can get most things packed (except for large items like furniture, microwave, vacuum cleaner and cat towers). I am not going to be able to drive a moving truck or do any loading again. My health is too precarious right now for that. 

Any tips for deciding what to move with you when planning a big move? Any items that you recommend you can do without until you get to the new location? I’m sure there are frivolous things I have packed that could have been donated. 

Packing has helped me to feel like I am doing something to move forward in a positive way. It is hard when you feel powerless in a situation. I may not know yet where we are going, but I know we need to move. 

Of course, if necessary, I will leave it all behind just to get the cats and I out of here safely to a new location. Finding a place to live is the challenge. 

This is going to be the most difficult move of my life, but it needs to be done. I am not sure where we are going, but I am preparing to leave. We need a place to live.

Minimalism: Approaching Maintenance

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My minimalism journey is now entering its 12th year. That’s a long time. For those of you feeling discouraged with your decluttering efforts, it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. That’s how much stuff I had to get rid of. I spent over 30 years accumulating, and over a decade trying to pare it all down.

The one area of my house that I am still working on minimizing is my CD collection. As you know from previous posts, this is the most difficult area for me due to my love of music. For the longest time, I would declutter anything in the house EXCEPT the CDs. 

My thinking now is that I only want to keep albums I truly enjoy. Those CDs where you pop them in the player and truly enjoy the entire disc. I’m not keeping a CD if there is only one or two songs on there that I like. We have YouTube for things like that. I’m not a huge fan of digital music, but I find it easier to just Youtube one song on the rare occasion I want to hear it instead of holding onto an entire CD for just one song.

One strategy that I use frequently in my decluttering efforts is that I will only keep items that fit in the space available. For example, if I don’t have enough room in the cupboard for all the coffee mugs, then it is time to declutter the coffee mugs and only keep what fits in the cabinet.

In decluttering my CDs, I have done the same thing. However, with CDs, I used to have 3 different pieces of furniture holding my CD collection. I am now downsizing my CDs to the point where there is only one piece of furniture holding my CD collection. That is two pieces of furniture I can get rid of also.

Once my CDs are minimized, I will be at maintenance minimalism. Maintenance minimalism is all about being a good gatekeeper. At this point, my goal is to only bring into my home consumables (food) and things I absolutely need.

Do I have some items that are completely unnecessary to the point they could be considered” clutter?” Yes, I do. I have 5 squishmallows. Do I need 5 squishmallows? No. They are probably considered clutter. However, they bring me joy and have use as pillows when needed. I enjoy them, so they stay. 

There is still a room full of donations upstairs. Everything in that room needs to leave and be donated. It will have to wait until spring when the weather is better and when I can find places to donate items. Some larger pieces, like the bookcase and extra outside chairs will just go out front with a “free” sign. They are too large to fight with to transport in my car to take someplace to donate. I could fit them in my car if necessary, but I don’t want to deal with it.

Apart from emptying the donation room and completing the minimizing of my CD collection, I am done. I am officially at the maintenance phase of my minimalist journey. 

There are a few random items that will be donated or trashed when I move. Some things in this house I am using now but will not take with me when I leave. However, I feel that I have now downsized this house to the point where I am either actively using everything here or the item brings me so much joy (hello, squishmallows) that they are staying.

My biggest challenge right now is going to be getting rid of everything in the donation room this spring. Donation centers in my area have closed. It is extremely difficult trying to figure out how to get rid of things, so they do not end up in the landfill. I also have a small box of electronics that I must figure out how to recycle.

While I may be approaching the maintenance phase of my minimalism journey, this blog will continue. There are always things to minimize in life including routines and digital items.

My goal with minimalism is to make this house and my surroundings as easy to care for as possible so that I can enjoy life. I don’t want to spend all my time cleaning. I want to spend my time with those I love.

That’s the true goal of minimalism – not a set number of things. The goal is to make life about love and not about stuff. 

House-iversary 4

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August 30 is our 4 year anniversary of being in this house. We bought it on what would have been Ted Williams’ 100th birthday. The sole purpose of this house was to keep Jude, Simon and I together. Our apartment had been taken over by a new landlord who doubled the rent and stated the building needed to be pet free. We had to leave or be evicted. All other rentals in the area are either no pets or one pet only. What parent is going to choose between their children? I’m not. We had to stay together.

This house keeps us together. For Jolene, it is the only home she has ever known. Simon has been in the house longer than he was in the apartment. Jude will pass that milestone this winter. It will be another decade before I reach that milestone.

As grateful as I am that this house keeps us together, I don’t want to be here. I wish I could pick up the house and move it someplace else due to the bad neighbors. I can’t even use my living room or my front porch (both reasons why I even bought the damn house) due to the neighbors driving into the front of it twice now. Every day I live in fear that I will be murdered in my own house. 

Selling this house will be difficult, as I will have to do the bad neighbors disclosure. It is also possible that by the time I sell, there will no longer be a garage and there will be many things that needs to be done to the house. I’m expecting that I will lose money when it comes time to sell. On top of that I will have to pay back $10k to the low-income program that helped me. 

This will be the only home I ever own. I was repeatedly denied a mortgage due to my student loans. I am in PSLF. I had applied for forgiveness after 10 years of teaching. The only reason why I was approved for this house and my mortgage is that the bank thought my student loans would be forgiven through PSLF. Boy, were they wrong. Here I am in this house and about to enter year 26 of student loan repayment with no end in sight. I have been denied student loan forgiveness twice now. Brandon refuses to forgive student loans, instead choosing to simply waive a few months of interest.  I know I will never be approved to buy another house due to my student loans. Once I sell this one, I will be stuck as a renter for the rest of my life.

This house is what is keeping us together. You can’t have pets in apartments here. 

Once the cats pass away from natural causes, I do intend to sell the house. I won’t need it anymore. I don’t want to be here. I will be leaving the country and moving someplace more affordable that also has healthcare. I will, after all, be paying my student loans until I die. I need to decrease expenses as much as possible,

So, while we celebrate the fact that we have been in this house for 4 years and that it is keeping us together, I am also looking forward to the day when I can sell it and leave the country permanently. 

My only goal is to outlive the cats. They need to be together, cared for, and loved. This house keeps us together. 

We are so grateful to be together in these horrible times we live. Thank you for this house keeping the 4 of us together. Here’s hoping it holds up long enough to keep us together for the rest of Jude, Simon and Jolene’s natural lives. I just need to outlive them and keep us all together. This house keeps us together. Happy house-iversary. 

House-iversary 3

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Today we celebrate our 3 year anniversary in our house. They say everything happens for a reason, and I am 100% convinced that the reason for this house is to keep us all together. At first, it was Jude, Simon and I. Now, Jolene has been with us for a year and a half too.

I like the house, but the neighborhood is horrid. I know, I know. Real estate is all about location, location, location. If I ever tried to sell this house, I would have to do a bad neighbor disclosure. I am a little mad that the sellers did not do the bad neighbor disclosure when I bought the house. However, I don’t think they failed to disclose out of malice. The person who had been living in this house passed away. The people who sold me this house had inherited it. They did not live in it, so I am sure they did not realize how truly bad the neighbors are and that they would have to do the bad neighborhood disclosure.

Despite being in one of the worst neighborhoods in the area, I do like the house. So far, the cats and I have managed to shelter-in-place here safe from covid. I am convinced that the purpose of this house is to keep us all together and well. 

As a homeowner, I have control over who comes into the house to provide service. The HVAC company I used in prior years do not wear a mask, so you can be sure I will be using someone else this year. As a homeowner, I have control over those decisions that you cannot control in an apartment. I’m sure if we were still in the apartment we would have had maintenance people in and no control over the whole “wear a mask” issue.

As much as I would like to sell this house and move due to the bad neighborhood, that is not possible due to the first time home buyer program I used. I do not have $10,000 to pay back the grant. Plus, with three cats, where would we go? Apartments do not accept pets.

I am going to die in this house. I don’t know when that will be, but I know I will die in this house. I will never pay it off. 

If I manage to outlive the cats, I will sell the house and move. Right now this house is the only thing that keeps us together and safe. Safe is a relative term – we are safe from covid, but we are not safe from the neighbors.

To be honest, I do not feel safe in this house due to the neighbors. The loud music, which I have come to learn is someone with a drum set and no insulation, continues. There are at least three houses of Proud Boys. There is gunfire on a regular basis. It is quite possible I will survive the pandemic only to be shot by one of the neighbors, whether intentionally or accidentally. 

For now, it is home, and it is all we have.

I am so thankful that on house-iversary 3, we are all together and healthy. Earlier this year when I lost my job, we faced a true reality of being homeless again. We are just one disaster away from losing it all. 

Happy House-iversary 3. My wish is that this is truly the last forever home for all three cats. All I need to do is care for them and keep us all together. I am so grateful for this house that is keeping us together and safe not only for the rest of our lives, but through a global pandemic.

Home for the Holidays

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“We should count all our blessings at Christmas.” – Frank Sinatra

Every year, people around me seem bothered by the fact that I stay home for Christmas. I don’t understand why. I stay home with my family. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about – family?

This year was one of the most challenging years of my life. On top of an ongoing and escalating bullying situation, I had a major threat to the only stable housing I have ever had in my life.

This Christmas, I am thankful that my family is together. If we had not been able to buy this house, we would not have had a place to live. I’m thankful that for the first time in my life and theirs that we truly have permanent housing. Now we just have to keep it (which the bullying situation makes challenging, but I digress).

Recently, someone criticized me that I wouldn’t “let go of” or “move on from” what the new apartment landlord did to me that precipitated the buying of the house. When someone comes in, doubles your rent with 2 weeks notice, threatens to evict you if you don’t give your children up for adoption, calls you every single week for 3 months wanting to know how you’re going to pay rent (and suggesting you ask your boss for a $8,000 raise to cover the rent increase), and tampers with your drinking water, it’s kind of hard to let go of.

I’m sure that eventually I will get to the point of forgiveness over this situation. It was suggested that I over reacted and was “emotional”. Well, I’ve been homeless before, and when you’re housing and family are attacked like that, it’s a little hard to not get upset. I have moved on from from this situation. I have now been thrown into a whole new crisis – that of reluctant homeowner. I never wanted to buy a house, but that was the only solution to keep my family together.

So this Christmas, I am counting my blessings, and this house is the biggest one. Even though I am a reluctant homeowner, this house is what is keeping my family together. I may not like the responsibility, but this is the price I pay so that we can all stay together and not be homeless.

Keeping my family together is priceless and the best Christmas present I’ve ever received.

For the first time ever, I can truly say that we are Home for the Holidays.

In 2019, I will be looking for a way to extradite myself from an ongoing and escalating bullying situation I am experiencing. Hopefully, I will be able to do it in a way that offers me some stability.

One of the scariest parts about being a homeowner, is that now I am stuck here. There is no option to move someplace else for a job or healthcare or some other opportunity. I’m stuck with what is here and dealing with this economically depressed area of Upstate New York.

Being “stuck” is not completely bad. “My house is always parked in the same place.” Each year at Christmas, when I watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, most of the movie makes me laugh. There is one part that always makes me cry.

The part where the little girl is saying how happy she is to stay in their home instead of the motorhome because their “house is always parked in the same place” makes me cry. I remember growing up like that. We spent a good three years (including New York winters) living in a motorhome when I was growing up.

When I moved into the house I bought, it was the first time in my life I have ever lived in a house. I’ve always lived in either a motorhome, a car, a trailer, or an apartment. It’s the best feeling in the world to know that your house is always parked in the same place.

So while there may be problems around me, at least I know where home is now. Hanging onto our home is the challenge I face daily. But as long as my family is all together, it is a challenge I can keep facing until we are able to find stability in all aspects of our life. We will face one crisis at a time. At least we are able to face them together.

This house is my biggest blessing this year, and I am very much looking forward to staying home with my family for Christmas this year. We are finally Home for the Holidays.

Don’t Fill My Space

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Owning a home is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is overwhelming. I have finally come to the conclusion that I at least need help with the grass so that I can regain some sanity. Between trying to take care of everything inside and outside, I am losing my mind. I am constantly exhausted; falling asleep pretty much as soon as I sit down at the end of each day.

I am very fortunate in that I have many good friends who have been helping and supporting me in this process. Many people have lent their time to helping me. Some people have brought me practical items – wine (consumables always welcome), screen for my vents, hedge clippers, etc.

Most people know that I am a minimalist. As a new home owner, I am already overwhelmed, so the last thing you should do is bring me a car load of stuff to overwhelm me even more. Yes, I did move from a 600 square foot apartment to a 1,600 square foot house.

Don’t fill my space.

I have spent the past 14 years in stable housing. Except for the particulars necessary for home ownership (like lawn care items), I have what I need. In fact, I was surprised to find that I have things in every room. I was honestly expecting to have empty rooms when I moved into the house, but that was not the case.

I had to purchase three new towels when I moved into the house due to the water problem at the apartment. Normally, as a minimalist, I would have taken the three stained towels from the apartment and donated them to the animal shelter. However, as a new homeowner, I have actually kept those three stained towels in a bin in my basement – I have used them twice to clean up water in the basement due to washing machine mishaps. For the record, the washing machine issues have been addressed. The basement is completely dry now, and I am laundering loads of laundry with no issues.

One of the splurge purchases I made after I moved into the house was purchasing blue Adirondack chairs. I have always wanted blue Adirondack chairs. I got four of them for my front porch. I purchased four because people have been visiting me in groups of two or three people at a time. I have had more people visit me these first two weeks in my new house than visited me in all the 14 years I spent living in the apartment.

I figure that the four chairs are a good purchase, as they can also be used in the back yard for the fire pit when we have a housewarming bonfire. I have to figure out a date for this event when I am not feeling overwhelmed and if it finally stops raining.

The four chairs will be able to be moved indoors this winter so that I can have game night at home. I definitely have the space for them. By having open spaces in my home, I have the space available for what is most important in life – family, friends and fun.

So if you feel the need to bring me furniture or other indoor household items, please don’t. I have all that. I have been living independently. Being a minimalist in a larger space does not mean that I am going to start accumulating items. It means I finally have the space for the most important things in life. In my apartment, three people felt cramped. In the house, there have been four people here at a time, and the house still feels huge.

The cats have been settling in and  enjoy running and playing. They go upstairs and downstairs all the time. I have been finding their toys strewn about, so I know they feel comfortable here when they are home alone while I am at work.

At the end of the day, the only thing that needs to fill my space is love. I have that with my family and the presence of my friends. Don’t fill my space with things.

Midlife Anti-Crisis

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WP_20180902_14_28_45_Pro.jpgAbove: I have the best and most blinged-out mailbox on the block thanks to my friends.

The midlife crisis is a way to rage against complacency, stagnation and stability. Tales of shiny red corvettes, new hair styles and relationships embody the stereotypical midlife crisis. Midlife is typically the time when you “arrive” in life – you are well-established in your profession, are comfortable in your mortgage, and are raising a family with a long-term partner. The midlife crisis is a way to shake up the hum drum of the everyday.

I’m here to tell you that I am NOT having a midlife crisis. I’m having a midlife ANTI-crisis.

Remember my housing crisis (genuine crisis) I have been having since May 2018? Well, here we are in September 2018 and I have effectively solved my housing situation.

I bought a house. #Boom. #ProblemSolved

I have never even lived in a house in my life and now I own one. Over the course of my life, I’ve gone from homeless to home owner.

While most people my age are trying to shake things up a bit, I am looking for stability and a sense of permanence. I needed a place to live that I could afford and keep my family together. Since the new landlord that bought my apartment building raised the rent to well over 60% of my income and is going pet-free, I needed a place to live.

All the rentals in my area are “no pets.” Or, they only allow one pet. Would you be able to choose which of your children to put up for adoption in order to keep your housing? Me neither. We are a family and we stay together.

The only viable option for me to be able to keep my family together was to buy a house and I have done so. By the way, my mortgage (including taxes and insurance) is almost $400 a month LESS than what the new landlord was going to charge me in “market rate” rent.

I’m going to live in this house until I die. While most people are bored with life, I’m just getting started. This is my midlife anti-crisis.

We just moved in last Thursday and have been here less than one week. Within the first 24 hours of home ownership, I already had an “idiot call” to the plumber. I broke down sobbing one night at bedtime saying I wanted to go home, but didn’t know where that was. I have used every tool in both my toolboxes. I don’t know the names of the tools, but I know what they do and I have used them all.  

I have a real mailbox with a real flag for the first time in my life. I have curbside garbage pickup for the first time too. I have more cuts, bruises and sore muscles that I have ever had in any of my 15 marathons.

I have been on vacation from work during this, and have pretty much “vacationed” at Lowe’s – I’ve been there every day. Some days, I’ve been there twice. I have been amazed at what I can fit in my 4-door sedan, and humbled by the many people who have been helping me and checking on me.

I successfully assembled a lawn mower and used it. I bought an old fashioned push mower. I only have .11 worth of grass to be in charge of. I mowed my own lawn for the first time. Mowing a lawn is some level of hell Dante forgot to mention in his inferno, but now that it’s done for the week, it’s kind of comical. One of my neighbors came out to check on me, and I could not tell from his reaction whether he was laughing inside, genuinely concerned about my efforts or both, but I’m sure I amused the neighborhood.

I have a detached garage and this was my first time in 24 years of driving that I have had a garage in which to park my car. Someone came to visit me while I was assembling the lawn mower, and I texted them to say I was “in the garage.” Hey, it was exciting to me.

I have a front porch where I’m writing now. I don’t think I have sat down for 4 days straight. I have plenty of chairs for all the people who have been helping and visiting. If it weren’t for my friends, I would not have been able to laugh through any of this.

Simon is adjusting slowly but surely. Jude has not left the kitchen cabinetry. I’m sure it will take time. I don’t think they realize what I had to go through to keep us all together. I was so scared that if this had not worked out, we would have been living in the car (again). We finally were able to escape anti-pet greedy people.

My goal is to get settled by the end of this week so that next week we can get into some sort of regular home owning family routine. The past week has literally been the ride of my life. I never thought I would own a home. I’m just happy that I was able to keep the family together.

While everyone else is having a midlife crisis, I am happily learning the positives and negatives of home ownership. Based on my first few days, I can tell you that this is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Hopefully, it will be worth it.

So far, it’s already worth being away from the toxic situation I endured with the new landlord over the past few months. It’s scary to think of all the responsibility that comes with a house, but at the same time, I get all the rewards.

So far, the time I spend on my new front porch with friends is the best time ever. It almost makes up for the fact that I sacrificed my camping trip, marathon, and summer beach days. Almost.

I have a lot to learn on this new journey. Instead of shunning responsibility, I am embracing it. This is my midlife anti-crisis.

Welcome home.