anniversary

A Decade of Rewind Live Slow

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It’s been 10 years since I started this blog. Back in the day, (mid 2000s) I had a facebook. I deleted my facebook for my mental health. I have no regrets and have not looked back. Once I finished grad school, I decided I was “done” being on the internet and all the drama that goes with it.

In 2015, a coworker suggested I start a blog. She commented that stories I told at work about my life and what I experienced and noticed throughout my day were often comical, and other people may like to read. I decided I also wanted to use all my own original photography and have never used a stock photo on this site. 

I pay for my domain and hosting and try to keep things clean and ad-free for you. 

While some of my earliest posts may have been comical, I do realize that a lot of posts are more serious as I have navigated challenges in life. I try to focus on downsizing, minimalism and simple living, but life happens. We minimize our belongings to focus on the things in life that really matter – the relationships. 

From the comical post era, I will say that one of my personal favorites was the post about the time my yoga pants went to yoga. 

The cats have featured on this blog many times. I try to do a birthday and a gotcha day post for each cat. We now have two social media accounts – a twitter and a bluesky. I have made some new and treasured friends sharing my cats on social media. There have been many times over the past 5 years when the pet accounts on our social media have kept me going.

There is a lot of drama right now with these neighbor issues after we were attacked and physically injured two years ago. We are harassed daily; it prevents me from working and sleeping. There are a lot of moving parts, many of them legal, but I am trying to get us out of this situation and to a safe place. I can’t give a lot of detail right now due to safety. 

However, once it’s all done and we are in a safe place, I have stories to tell about the journey we are now on to try to get to a place of physical safety. 

A few weeks ago, there was gunfire here. 

Right now, I’m trying to post on here once a month. It is a struggle with trying to get us to a safe place to live with all the legal and other logistical parts involved. I am also having some very serious health concerns now.

I just wanted to take some time out to acknowledge that this blog has now been here for a decade. It started June 2015. I wanted to be sure I made a post for the anniversary before June 2025 passes us by.

If you are any kind of praying person, we would appreciate all the prayers and positivity you can muster right now. I’m trying to get us away from these abusive neighbors and to a safe place. Finding housing that will accept four cats is the challenge. 

I will not give up any one of my cats. They are the only family I have left. My entire purpose of buying this house in 2018 was to keep us all together. I love this house. I researched it back to when it was built and learned its stories. 

Due to violent neighbors that have already injured us and continue to threaten our safety daily, we are not safe here anymore.

So please pray we can find a place to live. 

Hopefully the next decade of Rewind Live Slow will be able to get back to more of the comical aspects of past. 

House-iversary 5

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Today is our 5 year House-iversary. Five years ago today, we bought this house to keep us together and prevent us from becoming homeless (again). Purchasing this house was the first time I have ever lived in a house.

It’s been a long 5 years. I do love the house. However, I was unaware when I bought it that the house is in a horrible location. The sellers had inherited the house from a deceased relative and failed to do the “bad neighbor disclosure.” I have to do the bad neighbor disclosure when I sell the house. If the disclosure had been done when I was buying the house, I would have looked twice about my purchase. 

When I say the neighbors are bad, I must clarify that by saying this is the worst place I have ever lived in 40 years. I have been homeless and lived on the streets. I had better “neighbors” while homeless than I have right now. 

Here is a very short, abbreviated list of highlights of what the neighbors have done over the past 5 years:

Taken a baseball bat to the siding on the side of the house

Broken my bedroom window

Punctured my ear drum with their loud music (yes, it was that loud to puncture ear drums)

Caused me to lose my job due to excessive noise

Drove their vehicle into the front of the house twice, almost killing us while sleeping

Caused over $4,000 in damage to car and house with repeated illegal firework displays

Smeared feces all over my front door

Blocked driveway so I have been unable to leave the property for medical appointments or to escape them 

Pointed a gun in my face and threatened to shoot me when I knocked on the door to ask them to stop blocking my driveway so I could go to a doctor appointment for chemo

Found used condoms in my garage, as well as installed an outhouse right next to my garage because they cannot afford to repair their indoor bathroom 

That is just a very short list of highlights of the extremely long list of things they have done. The local sheriff department refuses to do anything about the behavior. They claim that all of this is legal. I am no longer allowed to call the sheriff department when any of this happens, as they said my complaints are considered “harassment.” I now have two rooms in my house I am not able to even use due to damages that happened when they drove their vehicle into the front of my house, and yet I am the one “harassing” them by reporting it?

The goal of all of these actions by my neighbors is that they want me to sell the house. You see, the perpetrator is the mayor’s brother. Of course, the mayor is above the law. The mayor’s brother is trying to buy up properties in this area and is low-balling all of the prices due to the bad neighbor disclosure. I’ve heard that he was pissed when my offer went through on the house over his low-balled offer five years ago. 

The logic in all of these events is that if they harass me enough, I will sell the house. Not only will I sell the house, but they will be able to buy it at a really low price because the neighborhood is so horrid. 

As much as I would love to sell the house to escape these neighbors, I can’t. If I sell this house, we will be homeless. We have no place to go. You see, this house is the only thing keeping us together. So we need to stay here.

The best solution would be for the neighbors to stop harassing us. It’s absolutely terrifying to have a gun shoved in your face when you try to ask someone to stop doing what they are doing. However, the sheriff department insists that all of this is legal. If you go onto someone else’s property to talk to them, they are allowed to shoot you. Welcome to America.

Honestly, I love this house. I hate the neighbors. 

There are 5 reasons why I fell in love with this house. One of those reasons is for the living room which I can’t even use anymore because that is the room the neighbors have driven into twice now with their car. I don’t feel safe using the living room anymore. It’s possible that the third time they drive into the living room, we will be killed. So I completely emptied all the furniture out of the living room and no longer use that room. They have driven into the house twice in five years. I’m sure it will happen again. 

For the record, the house is set back from the street. So they drove over a strip of grass and a sidewalk to drive into the front of the house. They went completely off road. We do not live on a curve or on the end of the street. This was deliberate. The house has been here for over 100 years. No one has ever driven into the front of the house until now. It is being done deliberately to either kill or terrify us. You see, if I die, then they can buy the house cheap as well.

They noise is deliberate also. If I lose my job due to noise, I can’t pay the mortgage and they can buy the house in foreclosure. If they puncture my ear drums enough to cause hearing damage so I can no longer work, they can force me out of the house too. Their actions are all deliberate.

So this year is House-iversary 5. This house is keeping us together. It is preventing us from being homeless. 

I am grateful for the house, but the neighbors are horrible. I just wish they would stop so I could enjoy being a first time homeowner and enjoy living in our “forever house” that I will probably die in (hopefully not prematurely from being murdered by the neighbors). 

When I bought this house 5 years ago, it was the answer to a prayer to keep us together and not be homeless. Over the past 5 years the dream has quickly turned into a nightmare due to the neighbors. 

As much as I want to leave and as bad as it is, I am more scared of being homeless. This house is the only thing keeping us all together.

So here is hoping that the neighbors stop with the harassment. I have no recourse for their actions, as the sheriff states everything they are doing is legal. I never knew it was legal to purposefully damage people’s property and physically hurt them. I always thought those types of actions were illegal, but this is America after all. This is the country in which we live.

Here’s hoping the next 5 years will be better than the last 5 years. (I doubt it, but there is nothing I can do to change the situation.)

House-iversary 4

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August 30 is our 4 year anniversary of being in this house. We bought it on what would have been Ted Williams’ 100th birthday. The sole purpose of this house was to keep Jude, Simon and I together. Our apartment had been taken over by a new landlord who doubled the rent and stated the building needed to be pet free. We had to leave or be evicted. All other rentals in the area are either no pets or one pet only. What parent is going to choose between their children? I’m not. We had to stay together.

This house keeps us together. For Jolene, it is the only home she has ever known. Simon has been in the house longer than he was in the apartment. Jude will pass that milestone this winter. It will be another decade before I reach that milestone.

As grateful as I am that this house keeps us together, I don’t want to be here. I wish I could pick up the house and move it someplace else due to the bad neighbors. I can’t even use my living room or my front porch (both reasons why I even bought the damn house) due to the neighbors driving into the front of it twice now. Every day I live in fear that I will be murdered in my own house. 

Selling this house will be difficult, as I will have to do the bad neighbors disclosure. It is also possible that by the time I sell, there will no longer be a garage and there will be many things that needs to be done to the house. I’m expecting that I will lose money when it comes time to sell. On top of that I will have to pay back $10k to the low-income program that helped me. 

This will be the only home I ever own. I was repeatedly denied a mortgage due to my student loans. I am in PSLF. I had applied for forgiveness after 10 years of teaching. The only reason why I was approved for this house and my mortgage is that the bank thought my student loans would be forgiven through PSLF. Boy, were they wrong. Here I am in this house and about to enter year 26 of student loan repayment with no end in sight. I have been denied student loan forgiveness twice now. Brandon refuses to forgive student loans, instead choosing to simply waive a few months of interest.  I know I will never be approved to buy another house due to my student loans. Once I sell this one, I will be stuck as a renter for the rest of my life.

This house is what is keeping us together. You can’t have pets in apartments here. 

Once the cats pass away from natural causes, I do intend to sell the house. I won’t need it anymore. I don’t want to be here. I will be leaving the country and moving someplace more affordable that also has healthcare. I will, after all, be paying my student loans until I die. I need to decrease expenses as much as possible,

So, while we celebrate the fact that we have been in this house for 4 years and that it is keeping us together, I am also looking forward to the day when I can sell it and leave the country permanently. 

My only goal is to outlive the cats. They need to be together, cared for, and loved. This house keeps us together. 

We are so grateful to be together in these horrible times we live. Thank you for this house keeping the 4 of us together. Here’s hoping it holds up long enough to keep us together for the rest of Jude, Simon and Jolene’s natural lives. I just need to outlive them and keep us all together. This house keeps us together. Happy house-iversary. 

House-iversary 3

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Today we celebrate our 3 year anniversary in our house. They say everything happens for a reason, and I am 100% convinced that the reason for this house is to keep us all together. At first, it was Jude, Simon and I. Now, Jolene has been with us for a year and a half too.

I like the house, but the neighborhood is horrid. I know, I know. Real estate is all about location, location, location. If I ever tried to sell this house, I would have to do a bad neighbor disclosure. I am a little mad that the sellers did not do the bad neighbor disclosure when I bought the house. However, I don’t think they failed to disclose out of malice. The person who had been living in this house passed away. The people who sold me this house had inherited it. They did not live in it, so I am sure they did not realize how truly bad the neighbors are and that they would have to do the bad neighborhood disclosure.

Despite being in one of the worst neighborhoods in the area, I do like the house. So far, the cats and I have managed to shelter-in-place here safe from covid. I am convinced that the purpose of this house is to keep us all together and well. 

As a homeowner, I have control over who comes into the house to provide service. The HVAC company I used in prior years do not wear a mask, so you can be sure I will be using someone else this year. As a homeowner, I have control over those decisions that you cannot control in an apartment. I’m sure if we were still in the apartment we would have had maintenance people in and no control over the whole “wear a mask” issue.

As much as I would like to sell this house and move due to the bad neighborhood, that is not possible due to the first time home buyer program I used. I do not have $10,000 to pay back the grant. Plus, with three cats, where would we go? Apartments do not accept pets.

I am going to die in this house. I don’t know when that will be, but I know I will die in this house. I will never pay it off. 

If I manage to outlive the cats, I will sell the house and move. Right now this house is the only thing that keeps us together and safe. Safe is a relative term – we are safe from covid, but we are not safe from the neighbors.

To be honest, I do not feel safe in this house due to the neighbors. The loud music, which I have come to learn is someone with a drum set and no insulation, continues. There are at least three houses of Proud Boys. There is gunfire on a regular basis. It is quite possible I will survive the pandemic only to be shot by one of the neighbors, whether intentionally or accidentally. 

For now, it is home, and it is all we have.

I am so thankful that on house-iversary 3, we are all together and healthy. Earlier this year when I lost my job, we faced a true reality of being homeless again. We are just one disaster away from losing it all. 

Happy House-iversary 3. My wish is that this is truly the last forever home for all three cats. All I need to do is care for them and keep us all together. I am so grateful for this house that is keeping us together and safe not only for the rest of our lives, but through a global pandemic.

House-iversary 2

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Jude is playing in a box.

Baseball legend Ted Williams was born on August 30, 1918. As one of the longest tenured players in the sport, “the kid” wore number 9 for the Boston Red Sox. His number has since been retired by the team.

On what would have been Ted’s 100th birthday on August 30, 2018, I hit my own home run and purchased my first house. It is also coincidence that my house number is 9, the same as Ted’s baseball number. I say it was meant to be. 

There are other reasons why I think this house was meant to be mine. But today, the cats and I are celebrating our 2 year House-iversary. We have found our furever home.

Jolene has now been in this house longer than she spent in the shelter. I am unaware of her life before that. From what I do know about her, I think she was either an outdoor cat or genuinely homeless prior to her being dumped at the shelter in a box with her kittens. Jolene also celebrated her 6th birthday last week. To my knowledge, Jolene has lived in this house longer than she has lived in any other house.

Simon has definitely been in this house longer than he has been anywhere else. He has lived here longer than we were in the apartment. He has lived here longer than he was in the shelter. For Simon, this house is definitely home. You can tell too. Simon is the only cat who does not try to escape to either the basement or the outdoors. Simon stays in the first and second floor living spaces. He knows its home and where he is supposed to be. He has truly come into his own in this house.

As the oldest, Jude and I have quite a few more years to go before this house is the longest place we have ever lived and it truly feels like home. I was in the apartment for 14 years. 

Jude was in the apartment for 4 and a half years. So, Jude is halfway there for this house to be home for him. There are times when I can tell that Jude does miss the apartment. Jude used to go out on the porch at the apartment. He cannot do that safely here at the house without being in a cage. I can tell it irks him. He misses the apartment porch where he could roam more freely (with supervision, of course). Yet I know Jude is happy in this house. He plays more. 

Being a first time homeowner has certainly been a challenge. I am so grateful for all of the people who have helped me along the way and continue to help and support me. 

This morning, as I type this, the temperatures have finally cooled into the 60s. All of the windows are open. The cats are happily sitting in front of open windows bird watching. I am sitting in front of our beautiful kitchen windows that open to the backyard. 

It was the kitchen that made me fall in love with this house. As soon as I walked into the kitchen, I said “this is it.” The kitchen is the first room you walk into when you open the door. Viewing the rest of the house was simply a formality. With multiple food allergies, I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. When I was in the apartment, my kitchen was also “command central” for all of my degrees. The kitchen is truly the heart of the home in my house. 

I had been told that the first year in a new house is an adjustment period and that you should not look to do any major changes or updates in that first year as you come to know the house. I followed this advice. It was easy to follow. I have been too overwhelmed as a new homeowner to do anything other than react to any issue that happened to arise. 

That said, I do have a home maintenance list, as I’m sure everyone does. It is a never ending list that is constantly changing and always updating. Last year, I painted the front of the garage, and an area of the house near the dryer vent. My goal for this year was to finish painting the garage. Since I am in quarantine and cannot get more paint right now, that is not happening. Not to mention, I learned that painting the garage is not as easy as it sounds. I will need help to reach the topmost areas and the detail work to make it look nice.

My goals for the house going forward is to save and complete one home project per year. I think that this is reasonable, and it is also advice I received from a friend who is also a single female and first time homeowner. I just have to prioritize the projects. 

This fall, I hope to do some outside painting with the can of white paint I had bought last year and never used. That is a small project that I do not consider to be on the list of “one home project per year.” I consider projects on the List to be large projects for which I have to hire and pay someone else to do or that require a significant amount of savings. I may not be good at painting, but I get it done. 

This year, the cats and I are very happy to be celebrating our House-iversary 2 together. This house has stood through World War One, the Spanish Flu, the Great Depression, World War Two, and everything that has come since. We will live through the coronavirus pandemic and the Great Depression 2 as well. 

I am so grateful that the cats and I have this house to be in safe together in the pandemic. Home is where the cats are. They seem happy here. This house is our home base.

Happy Veterans Day

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Happy Veteran’s Day. This is the phrase I was attempting to say two years ago today. I’m not sure exactly how it came out, but that was the day I landed in the hospital with stroke symptoms. Today is my 2 year anniversary of the day that changed my life. Nothing has been the same since. I’ve had to slow down whether I like it or not. And, I don’t, by the way. I don’t like it – the slowing down or all the changes.

To celebrate the 2 year anniversary of my stroke, I participated in communion at church today for the first time in my life. Today was the first time that communion has ever been accessible for me since the onslaught of the multiple food allergies in my mid-20s. The most difficult allergen to avoid in this situation, is egg. Have you ever tried to find gluten free bread that is also egg free, dairy free and completely nut free? Let me know, because I don’t think it exists on a widespread commercial basis.

Someone at church went out of their way to find a local bakery in town who was willing to take on, tackle and accommodate all 5 of my food allergies. It was achieved successfully. I can’t tell you what it meant to be able to participate in communion with everyone else today and not be left out. It’s one of the few times when I have actually felt like God loves me. Someone actually baked something that didn’t kill me. There’s a first time for everything.

This is significant because I’ve been struggling lately. Ever since I bought my house, I’ve been experiencing negativity from the community. Pretty much, I’m being kicked while I’m down. I’m still down, by the way. But at least I’m not being kicked any more.

There are some people in this community who are not pleasant to me due to one of my “identities.” It happened again today. I try to blow it off and balance it with all of the people who are going out of their way to make me feel welcome. I figure there is no point in trying to make anyone else happy. I’m just going to be myself and people can either take it or leave it. I think that’s a pretty good attitude even if it doesn’t make the hurt any less.

Even though my life feels like a free floating shit show with no anchor right now, I am thankful and grateful for so many things. I just need some time to get my feet back under me.

I still have challenges post-stroke, but am considered “fully functional.” I am thankful that I am healthy, working, providing, and running. Running is definitely the greatest gift I have ever received in life. My goal for 2018 this year is to exceed the number of miles I ran in 2017. That would be an improvement.

I’m happy that two years after 11/11/16, I can say “Happy Veterans Day,” and it actually comes out sounding like “Happy Veterans Day.” I’m not in the hospital connected to tubes and machines being rushed into a machine that takes photos of my brain.

Happy Veterans Day. Thank you for your service that allows us to be free.

 

 

Happy 4th Birthday, Jude

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Two years ago when we were still grieving the loss of Kip, who completed our triad, Kitty and I decided to open our home, and consequentially our hearts, to a timid, shy newcomer for companionship. Not only is today the two-year anniversary of the day we adopted Jude, but it is also his 4th birthday.

Jude stole the show and is one of the loves of my life. In the two years since he has entered our home, he has come out of his shell to share with us his spunk, ingenuity, and childlike love of life. Jude has reminded me to not take life to seriously; sometimes we need to just enjoy and laugh. While his antics are sometimes aggravating, they are, for the most part, harmless, and always bring a smile.

When he is clinging to a window frame tittering about a bird outside, I jokingly call him Spider Cat for his ability to climb places I never thought possible. He is actually able to do so not only with agility but also without destroying anything in the process. With a preference for high, small spaces, Jude has figured out how to hide in the empty cupboard above the refrigerator and has also realized that if he pops out of said cupboard when I walk into the kitchen, he can usually get a rise out of me. Jude definitely keeps us on our toes.

He is the perfect companion for Kitty, who, believe it or not, at the ripe old age of 17 still likes to play every once in awhile, and Jude is happy to oblige. When they are not playing together, Jude always brings a smile in the way he plays with toys by himself or by simply chasing his own tail. He is well acclimated to the fact that it takes Kitty longer to eat due to his advanced age, and it respectful in allowing him time and space to eat his food without trying to steal it from him.

Jude still freaks out over vacuum cleaners and guests. We rarely get visitors at our house, but when we do, he always hides as if his life depends upon it. Jude has warmed up to both Kitty and I over the past two years. He often sits on my lap and loves to sit right next to Kitty. Honestly, I am surprised and delighted at how well Kitty has accepted him into our lives.

Two years ago on Valentine’s Day, I was home from work on a snow day, yet the roads north of us were bare and clear. Friends knew that we were looking for a new addition for our home, and on that day, the phone call came that the fit for us was at a shelter about two hours north. I made the drive, and spent some time confirming, that yes, this was indeed the one. Jude entered our home at a time in our lives when we were still raw and sore from Kip’s passing. Jude entered our home and our hearts with grace and style. He has completed life for both Kitty and me these past two years. Happy 4th Birthday, Jude. You are truly the love of our lives.