social media

Four Years Without Facebook

/ rachelgoes262 / 1 Comment

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It has now been four years since I completely deleted my Facebook account, and I have no regrets. Every so often, there will be a story on the news of how people will try to go a year or without Facebook as an experiment. Or, you will hear tips on how to decrease your usage, such as putting an app on your phone that will only allow you to browse for so many minutes a day.

One of the biggest obstacles to overcome when living without Facebook is the fear of missing out, or FOMO. I will admit, that I have had maybe one or two instances of FOMO over the past year or so. However, when I sit there and seriously think about whether I want to rejoin Facebook, the negatives of the social media platform far outweigh the positives for me. 

Most of what I want to know I can find in other ways. I listen to the radio and read the newspaper. I live in an extremely rural community, where over half of our population physically lacks internet access, so I am not missing anything by not being online.

If there is something I want to see “on Facebook,” most pages have a public setting and I can still see them. Examples are businesses. Without a Facebook, I cannot interact with the pages. However, one of my biggest complaints about Facebook is the sheer number of people who just lurk without doing anything. So by not having an account and viewing public pages without interacting, I guess I am just doing the same as everyone else.

For people with whom I used to interact with on Facebook, I now communicate by either text message or written letters. Yes, there is still such a thing as putting a stamp on a letter and putting it in those blue boxes you see in places. There is also such a thing as printing a few select photos of importance. You can mail them to your friends and they can put them on their refrigerator with a magnet. Old school or ground breaking? 

The one or two times when I felt like I was missing out in the past year did not have to do with news or existing friends. Living in a rural area tends to be lonely and I would like to meet people. So sometimes I do get FOMO, thinking that if I was online I could meet new people.

However, I can tell you that after one very disastrous attempt with a dating app that meeting new people online is horrid. First, there is this thing called catfishing, where people you meet on the internet are not real. That is a scary thing. Second, many of the people that I would meet on the internet are far away. It’s not like we can get together for a cup of coffee or tea. I do like pen pals, but it is also nice to be able to see people in person every once in while.

Loneliness in a rural area is an age-old problem that has yet to be solved. Most people just move to a city to meet more people and be less lonely. Unfortunately, that is not an option for me, so I need to focus on my family and the people I do have around me. This is where I live, and m ability to travel has been curtailed by my disability, so this is where I am.

I definitely do not miss Facebook drama. 

I have enough drama in real life being a home owner. I do not need online drama to add to it.

In the novel I am reading for book club this month, there is a comment about people being so in tune with their phone screens and computer screens that they fail to notice real life that is going on around them. Then, when their screens break, people die from an overload of life.

I can definitely tell you, that I have a full life. I may be lonely, but I have plenty of things to do that keep me busy. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I do not need to add online drama to my already full plate.

However the concept that people would die from an overload of life if their screens break is an interesting one. People are so used to the fake world they create online that they no longer have the skills to deal with real life in person. This may be why people lack job skills and we see more violence. People no longer have the skills to navigate life because they are stuck in a fake online world.

Four years after Facebook, I still have no regrets. I live in the moment, experiencing my life and my emotions fully. I am fully present for my family and the people in my life. I am not distracted by phone notifications and do not sit for hours in front of a little screen while there are so many things to be experienced around me.

Some people experiment going without Facebook for a year. For me, it has now been four years. I do not anticipate going back. It is such a waste of my time and creates more stress than it does help.

What about you? Do you live without Facebook? Do you find any positives in it? 

Commercializing Solitude

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

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The little outside bar in the middle of no where.

A recent newscast spoke of a significant increase in visits to national parks due to social media usage. Once a haven of the adventurous seeking solitude, millions are now flocking to previously secluded spots made internet famous by stunning photography that has been shared all across the globe. Gone are the days when we would simply see a photograph of a beautiful place and long to go there. People are actually going.

This results in some national parks having to fight harder to preserve our natural surroundings. When human traffic to these remote areas increases, the majesty of the experience is often lost in the crowd.

Another recent news story spoke of an increased number of deaths on Mt. Everest. The deaths are attributed to overcrowding of people trying to reach the summit. Apparently, anyone with $11,000 can try to reach the summit of Mt. Everest regardless of preparation or qualifications to attempt the ascent. There is no regulation of people who are allowed to undertake this feat other than having the ability to pay for the experience.

We are commercializing solitude.

There are how many – 8 billion? – people on this planet. Our cities are overcrowded. We are now crowding those areas that were previously areas of refuge for some to escape the cities. Not every city person is cut out for the wilderness. Thus, we now have “glamping” for those who are unable to navigate the wilderness but want the illusion of solitude.

Let’s throw some glitter on a tree, and all of a sudden forests are popular.

I had been going camping to a location in the Adirondacks for about 16 years. This annual trip started back in the 90s. The location was the halfway point where I would meet college friends coming from western Massachusetts.

Cranberry Lake was my favorite place to be because it was remote and safe. I stayed in the same site every year for this trip, and every year things were the same. The natural beauty provided a sort of consistency in my life in the midst of much turmoil. I knew that no matter what was going on in my life, where I was or where I was living, each summer, I would always have my trip to Cranberry. Kind of like the whole “we’ll always have Paris” thing.

The annual Cranberry trip was like New Year’s for me. This is the big trip where I could relax and recharge and return to life refreshed. Especially the years when I was working 70-80 hours per week at multiple jobs while attending school full time, these trips helped me to keep my sanity.

The only reason why I specifically mention the location now after all this time, is because it has been commercialized. Unfortunately, Cranberry Lake is no longer my oasis in the middle of the Adirondacks.

The last few years that I made my annual pilgrimage to the location, I noticed a marked increase in the number of people camping. I’m sure on some level this is great for the state department of environmental conservation – more people camping means more revenue. However, with increased use, I noticed changes.

The first thing I noticed was changes in clientele. As the years have gone by, there are less families and more rowdy young people. Or, families who are raising Cain. I know this makes me sound like a curmudgeon-y old person, but there is more noise and less respect. People walk through other people’s wooded, secluded campsite without saying anything because they like the view from someone else’s site.

Um, excuse me, but you are standing near my tent, and I paid for this space.

Second, I noticed that even though some of the increased traffic was coming from students associated with environmental conservation programs who were, allegedly, in school for environmental conservation degrees, were trashing the natural surroundings.

An area that was naturally mud and downed trees now has now been cleared for people to put in kayaks from a private site. Too lazy to take the kayak to the public launch site, these students have instead chosen to destroy the natural surroundings to make an unapproved (I asked) kayak launch.

It’s kind of hard to sit in the middle of nowhere and be peaceful when surrounded by loud, boisterous people who have no respect for the outdoors around them.

These inconsiderate people are apparently incapable of living without cell service for 24 hours. There is now a cell tower in this part of the Adirondacks. Now, New York State told the cell company that the tower would have to “blend in” with the natural surroundings.

The cell tower “blends in” alright. It looks like a giant green toilet brush. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig. You can tell that the cell tower is there even if it is “disguised” as a tree that in no way blends in with the trees surrounding it.

Part of the attraction of going to places like this, for me at least, is the lack of cell phone service. I literally love to unplug and unwind. I don’t have to worry about people calling me, texting me, or emailing me. Especially in a society that is completely on 100% of the time, we need moments to disconnect and reflect.

During a recent internet search trying to find a new, more remote area of the Adirondacks to be my new oasis, I noticed that Cranberry Lake is listed on a boatload of “best of” lists that have promulgated the internet over the past 10 years or so.

No wonder that spot has become so popular. Cranberry Lake has suffered the same fate as some of the national parks and Mt. Everest where social media has made them so popular they are now being destroyed by the increased foot traffic and are no longer the places of refuge they once were.

When I was in the Adirondacks recently, I went by Cranberry Lake. I noticed that now instead of having the small, simple brown sign out front indicating the turn to the campground, there are in fact, 5 different points of entry into this location and all of them are very well marked. There is no hiding out at that location any longer.

After hearing of the recent murders on the Appalachian Trail, I would not consider such a popular spot a safe place to be anymore. You just don’t know who is traipsing through the woods now.

This is why, when I found my new oasis location, that will not be named, I chose a location that does not really come up on “Top 10” lists or the average internet search. I want to be in an area that not many people know about, that is remote yet still safe, and retains it’s natural beauty. Forests should be respected by people visiting, not destroyed.

I do believe that everyone has the right to enjoy parks and the natural beauty that surrounds us. However, when large numbers of people flock to the same location at the same time, it is not sustainable on the environment. At that point, we are just turning the woods into new cities.

I will let everyone else go to Mt. Everest, the internet famous national parks, and the ones in the Top 10 lists. For me, I’m going to look for the locations that are off the beaten path so that I can truly be in solitude. The challenge is that as we are commercializing solitude, those truly empty places are getting harder to find.  

Cut the Cord

/ rachelgoes262 / 1 Comment

Technology can help or hinder you. Instead of allowing it to consume us, the use of technology with intention is a tool that can enhance your life. I love being able to go online and find instant answers to my questions. I have a smart phone, and sometimes I think it has replaced my brain. They did not name it a smart phone for nothing.

I am constantly connected. My excuse has always been that I have been so busy working multiple jobs and being a full time grad student while managing a household means that I need technology in order to have human interaction. However, the smart phone has replaced my human interaction when I find myself playing with the phone at times when there is a real, live person in front of me with whom I can have a conversation. As everyone stands around looking at their phones, the zombie apocalypse is now.

I have seen this social experiment circulating the Internet where a group of friends go out to dinner, pile their phones face down in the middle of the table, & the first person that picks up their phone in disruption of the human interaction, foots the bill for the cost of the meal. This is a brilliant idea. Too bad in this day & age, we have to force ourselves to do those type of things in order to unplug from the smart phone.

In my efforts to rewind real slow, I have decided to unplug. Cutting the cord allows me to focus fully on the people in front of me and to live and enjoy the moment I am experiencing. Are you really having fun or just doing it for the face book post, tag or photo? Cutting the cord and unplugging is not only scary for some, but also difficult. In today’s 24/7 world, the smart phone is constantly dinging with some notification of this or that. It is the modern day method of keeping up with the Jones’.

Here are some strategies in which I am going to try to cut the cord:

  • Turn off notifications. Do you look at your phone every time it makes a noise? Is this taking away from having lunch with your grandmother, or appreciating that sunset? Turn off the notifications. It can wait.
  • Set a timer. The internet will not explode if you stop checking it 20 times per day. 20 minutes twice a day should be enough. Once in the morning, and once in the evening to be able to check and respond to any important emails or get caught up on all the latest face book gossip. Do you really need to know what your 400 friends had for lunch today? This is adulthood, not a middle school cafeteria.
  • Make plans to see people in person. In realizing that I have allowed digital communication to take over my life, I have noticed that it has replaced my human interactions. The human part of my interactions is missing, that is. I would rather spend one hour of quality time having dinner with a friend hearing about their latest trip or the cool thing their kid did than spend 5 minutes commenting on someone’s post.

I’m looking for a life full of meaning. Quality over quantity. For me starting a blog is about more quality interactions on the internet than I currently have in 140 characters on social media. While I am looking to cut the cord in favor of in person interaction, I also want to improve the quality of my online interaction as well.

What do you think? Do you have an obsession with technology? How do you set boundaries around your media use and make time for what matters most – the people in your life and the experiences you have with them?