Sentimental Items are the Hardest

Sentimental items are the most difficult to declutter. I saved them until last. It was easier to go through sentimental clutter when I had gone through everything else in the house. Sentimental items are hard because they have meaning. We want to be surrounded by things we love and things that have meaning. 

Sentimental items are not bad. However, it is possible to have too many sentimental items if you place every single item into the “sentimental” category. Don’t use the sentimental category as a catch-all for things you don’t want to deal with in your decluttering journey. 

You are the only person who can answer questions about sentimental items because those items hold meaning specific to you. To someone else, that blanket may just be a blanket, something to keep warm. However, if it was a blanket your grandmother made, then for you that is a more meaningful item than just a blanket. Yes, it keeps you warm, but it has so many memories attached to it too.

The thing to remember is that we are attached to people, not things. Do you really need 10 items to remind you of your grandmother, or will 5 items do? I can’t answer that. Only you can. Decluttering sentimental items is tough for a reason. There is so much emotion involved.

When it comes to decluttering sentimental items, the only advice I have is to leave them until last. If you start out decluttering sentimental items, you will become frustrated and discouraged. Don’t go there. Minimalism is about decluttering stuff to have more room for people you love. That is what makes sentimental items so hard.

I have been going through my own process in decluttering sentimental items. For me personally, I got rid of everything from childhood. I had a very bad childhood. It’s not something I want to remember. Why keep items from that time? They just remind me of pain.

Photos are meaningful to me. I created a photo album I like to call “My greatest hits.” It is a curated collection of the best moments of my life. These are the memories and moments I want to remember when I’m on my death bed. Those are the photos in my one album of greatest hits. Only my best and most treasured life moments, events and people are in there.

There are some items that I have set aside with a note on them that they will be donated or trashed (depending on item), when I move. Some things in this house I will not take with me when I move again.

Some of those items, like my couch, I am using. The couch is over 25 years old and has been through several moves. I have decided that it is not up to another move. If I move again, the couch will not go with me. However, I am keeping the couch right now because I am using it. I am not going to bother purchasing a new one when the one I have works perfectly fine. I just won’t move house with this couch again.

Then there are items with notes on them that say “donate (or trash when move” that are not currently being used. Honestly, those are items that can probably leave now. One of those items is a small box of photo negatives. In the digital age, it Is very challenging to find a photo lab that can process prints from negatives. I already have prints from those negatives. It may be time to get rid of the negatives, since most of those photos are already in my greatest hits photo album. 

What is the point in hanging onto something like photo negatives that are not being used? It is very unlikely that I will either need to be able to make prints from them again. They are sentimental clutter and can probably leave. 

As my minimalism journey is winding down, I am coming down to things that are hard choices to make. Sentimental items are difficult. 

Don’t beat yourself up if you have a lot of sentimental items. Yes, you are still a minimalist. If those things bring you joy, there is no set number of items for people to have. As long as you have enough time for the people in your life and your stuff does not take all of your time, you are fine. 

Sentimental items are the hardest. Leave them until last. 

Decluttering Sentimental Items

Decluttering sentimental items is the most difficult and challenging aspect of minimalism. It is advanced minimalism, and should be undertaken last. Before attempting to declutter sentimental items, you should have experience in exercising your decluttering muscles. Downsizing categories such as clothing, the kitchen and the bathroom should be categories you have addressed well before sentimental items. 

Leaving sentimental items until last allows you to build your minimalist muscle. If you attempt to declutter sentimental items too early, you set yourself up for failure. Not only do you fail to declutter the items, but you experience all the feelings involved that make the items sentimental from the beginning. It can cause you a setback in your decluttering journey.

I have finally reached the stage where I am ready to declutter sentimental items. I have tried to declutter this category before and I failed. That’s okay. My initial sweep through the sentimental category, I downsized sentimental items from three storage bins to one storage bin. Sometimes you have to take baby steps.

If you are just starting with the sentimental item category, I do recommend taking it in steps. First, gather all of your sentimental items together. Second, try to curate your collection. I found that downsizing from three storage bins to one storage bin was a challenging, yet doable goal.

The other tip that was helpful for me was that once I downsized from three storage bins to one storage bin, I took the two storage bins that were going to be “leaving” and left them in a closet for a year. After that year, I was completely okay with the two storage bins leaving and just having the one bin of mementos. In fact, after the year, I had completely forgotten what was inside the other two bins. You can’t miss what you don’t remember, can you?

This was a few years ago that I undertook the three bins to one bin exercise. I am finally at a point in my decluttering journey where I am able to address the one bin that is left. Granted, the one bin is about 90% full of items from my childhood. I’m sure your sentimental bin may look different.

Here are reasons why I am now finding it easier to get rid of the remaining bin of sentimental items. 

  1. I had a horrible childhood. Why do I want to keep items that remind me of the most traumatic time period of my life? Did I enjoy playing with those toys? No, I did not. I lived in a state of abuse and perpetual fear. The toys in the bin were given to me by someone else in the family, who had absolutely no idea of my favorite toys as a child. They had just set aside toys that they liked or thought I would have wanted. I don’t want them. Now, some of these items are worth money. I have a pair of pristine Sonny and Cher Barbies as well as one of the original preemie Cabbage Patch dolls that came in a plain cardboard box from Sears before they started putting them in shiny, colorful packaging with a plastic “window” to see inside. I still don’t want them. They do not invoke any happy memories.
  2. I have no children. Some people keep a set of their most loved toys to pass down to their own children. I have no children to give these toys to. They are just sitting in a box, not being used, played with or loved. They are taking up space. Toys are intended to bring joy. I’m sure there are children out there who would find joy in playing with them.
  3. They are not benefitting my life. The toys are sitting in a box taking up space. I am decluttering my house in anticipation of an international move. I refuse to pay international shipping to take those items with me. What’s going to happen to them when I move again? They are going to sit in a box in the closet same as they are now. Why pay time, money and energy to move something from place to place that is going to sit unused.
  4. Swedish Death Cleaning. What will happen to this box of toys when I die? They will either be thrown out or donated. Why not get rid of them now so they have the opportunity to bring joy to some child. 
  5. Is this difficult? Yes, it is. While none of these items evoke happy memories, it is still difficult to get rid of them. Yet when I sit down and think about it, I cannot think of one good reason to keep them. Do they bring me joy? No, they do not. It is still difficult, emotional and sad to get rid of them. Don’t ask me how. Emotions are complicated that way. You know those times when you feel all the feelings. Even though they evoke negative emotions, I also have negative emotions about getting rid of pieces of my childhood even if it was bad.

In addition to the one bin of childhood toys, I have other sentimental items that will be leaving this year. My entire jewelry collection will be leaving. The only piece of jewelry I am keeping is my mother’s necklace that has Jude, Simon and Jolene’s names on a heart with their birth stones. Why do I need jewelry? It does not bring me joy. No one sees me. My mother’s necklace brings me joy. I am keeping that. 

Since the pandemic has started, life has become a story of survival. With no end to the pandemic in sight, why would I need items like jewelry? They are unnecessary baubles. They are not essential for survival. I am downsizing all my items to only those that are necessary or that bring me joy. The other jewelry pieces do not bring me joy. I would not want to take the other jewelry pieces with me on an international move.

I can only wear one necklace at a time. Ok, ok, I’m sure you can wear two or three necklaces at a time. However, that just makes me think of some cheesy 80s rapper concerned with their bling. I personally prefer to wear one necklace at a time. My mother’s necklace is the only one that is meaningful and brings me joy, so it stays. Every other piece of jewelry I have is not irrelevant. 

When life is reduced to survival, you really take stock of what is important in life.

There are some sentimental items that are still in the gradual reduction process. There are some items that are too difficult emotionally to leave. I have put those in a box for a year. We will see how I feel at the end of the year. Will I pull items out of the box because I want to look at them or keep them? Will I even remember what is in the box at the end of the year.

To clarify, I do not have a life devoid of meaning. I do have sentimental items I have kept such as my mother’s necklace. I have curated a photo album of my greatest hits / best memories which I take out often and look through fondly. I have some sentimental items that are either in use or on display in my home. I’m not saying to life a life without meaning or sentiment. I am saying to curate what you have. If you love it, display it. Leaving toys in a box for 30 years and shuttling them around from place to place – those are the types of items you really need to question about leaving. 

What tips do you have for decluttering sentimental items? 

Journals and Memoir

The bulk of my decluttering is done over the winter months. I put everything into a spare room upstairs. In the spring, I go about donating everything in the spare room. I emptied the spare room early this spring, as I had a week off from work in March. This year I also had that one-time junk truck come to get rid of all the items that had been left in this house when I bought it that were not able to be donated.

Anything that goes into the spare room now will be leaving and donated in the spring of 2023. It is possible that some things may be donated this fall. We will see how life goes. 

I am trying to get as ruthless as possible with my decluttering as my ultimate goal is to leave the country. Of course, when you are planning a major move, you want to travel as lightly as possible. 

The most difficult items to declutter are always sentimental items. I have one box from childhood I am hanging onto. I am going to put a note on it that says it can be donated or junked after my death. I’m trying to make things as easy for whomever has to clean this house out after I die as possible. If I do manage to live long enough to leave the country, then I will personally take the entire box of childhood items to be donated or junked, as appropriate.

I have a small box of all of my running logs spanning well over a decade of my running career. I also have a small box of journals and scrapbooks from well over a decade. I’m quite sure that when I’m dead, no one will care to read either the running logs or the journals. I also know that if I leave the country, running logs and old journals are not going to be going with me. I’m not paying for a box of that dead weight to be shipped overseas.

The running logs have been useful to me in planning my training for races. I will look at training for prior races to see what I did or how I adjusted for certain situations. I am currently in the process of gleaning as much information as I can from these running logs and consolidating everything into one three-ring binder. My goal is to recycle all the running logs next spring. I will have one three-ring binder that contains training plans and tips.

My journals and scrapbooks are a little harder.  I do revisit my journals alongside my running logs to read about certain races. I like to read how I was feeling for the race and what I was thinking. Was I feeling well for that race? What adjustments did I make? Did anything unexpected happen? I also enjoy revisiting some of my camping memories that are in my journals. Now that I have lost so many people to COVID, they are nice to re-read to remember memories with loved ones. Sometimes I worry that I will forget those I love because they have died.

I am currently using both my running logs and my journals to work on my memoir. Once my memoir is complete, my goal is to recycle/shred all of my journals and scrapbooks. My goal is to complete my memoir by the end of this calendar year. I want to be able to shred all of my journals next spring.

I’m not going to lie. Decluttering sentimental items is hard. They should be left to the last thing, once you have had time to flex your decluttering muscles. 

I will say that to this day, I do not have any regrets over anything I have decluttered. I do not miss a single item. I can’t even begin to tell you all of the items I have decluttered over the years. As soon as they are gone, I forget about them. Not once have I thought, “now where is …” and have it become something I miss because I decluttered it. Typically, I can’t find something. It is in the house, not decluttered, and I find it later. All is well.

Sentimental items are hard to declutter and nothing is more personal than your own thoughts and memories. Well, I like to think I will keep the memories. I certainly have photos. Last year, I created my “greatest hits” photo album with my favorite memories and highlights of my life.

While the idea of shredding my journals and scrapbooks is hard, it is a necessary step for 3 reasons.

First, my journals and scrapbooks are reminiscent of my past. I’m not going there. I live in the here and now. I am moving forward. They say that living in the past causes depression, living in the future causes anxiety, and to live in the now, that’s why it is called the present. 

Second, I don’t want people reading my innermost thoughts from my journals after I’m dead. I’m pretty sure no one wants to read them anyways. Who cares what I thought on June 28, 2008? I’m pretty sure if someone were to pick up, say 2011, to read after I’m dead, they would think I was crazy. 

Third, if I leave the country, they are not coming with me. I’m trying to think positive here. When I leave the country, I will have to get rid of a lot of large items like furniture and my house. Why make my life more difficult by trying to clean out an entire house? I can get rid of the journals now. I may as well declutter as much as I can before I move internationally. 

I am currently about halfway through the writing of my memoir. Shredding all of my journals will be contingent upon completing my memoir. Once my memoir is complete, then I will shred my journals. The goal is to complete my memoir this year and shred the journals in spring 2023.

How are you with decluttering sentimental items? Do you keep journals or immediately get rid of them once you have filled the book? 

I am currently putting everything in the spare bedroom upstairs that will be leaving spring 2023. Every year, I declutter just a little bit more. I am hoping to make my international move as easy as possible when the time comes. If I do not make it to an international move, then at least this house will be easy for someone to empty after my death.