pets

Saving Flower Part 2: Forever Home Needed

/ rachelgoes262 / 3 Comments

Flower was used as bait by a dog fighting ring. I have been very clear about that from day one. Some people have inquired about adopting Flower. I tell them she was used as bait by a dog fighting ring, tell them about her injuries, mobility issues and medical needs. People then proceed to ask me if she is okay with dogs?

I will no longer answer that question. This cat was brutally injured by dogs on purpose, then thrown out like trash. They either thought she was dead or just threw her out to die from her injuries. You think she can live with dogs? I taught pre-school for 15 years and always said there was no such thing as a stupid question. I stand corrected. 

Now that Flower has been with me for two months as a foster, I have learned some things about her needs for a forever home and want to provide an update. Many people have asked. It is disheartening for me to detail things to people only to have them ask questions like “is she okay with dogs?” 

If you intend to make a serious inquiry to adopt Flower, then you need to read all of this and be very clear about her needs. Do not waste my time with questions about things like dogs that I have clearly stated from day one: NO DOGS. 

I don’t mean to be rude, but she deserves the BEST POSSIBLE forever home with ALL THE LOVE. This cat has been to HELL and back.

I never intended to foster. I am one person with three house cats of my own. I have a disability, I work full-time, and I experience continual and repeated criminal harassment from my neighbors that results in physical injury. Taking on Flower has been a challenge for me with everything else I am facing. It is very difficult for me to keep everyone safe with the way the neighbors behave. I have zero regrets about helping her. But I also don’t have spoons to deal with stupidity. 

I am not an official foster. When I contacted the shelter to report her injury, they said they were full. They would not help. I trapped her and got her to medical care. The shelter is not offering any support or advice or help to find her a forever home. They are full and overwhelmed. Their attitude was to shrug and say, “oh well.” We do not have any humane charities here that responds to injured animals. I have no regrets about trapping her or helping her. I truly believe that if she was outside for another winter, she would have seized up with the arthritis and froze to death, unable to move to reach the insulated cat shelters I provide. 

Back to Flower’s needs:

Flower needs to be adopted by an experienced cat person. However, she needs to be the ONLY PET in the home. She would be perfect for someone who may have lost a furbaby and is ready to love again. 

Flower has been here for two months. My house cats have been completely welcoming and accommodating. None of my house cats have hissed, growled, or in any way acted aggressively to Flower. They either ignore her completely or approach slowly in a questioning manner. 

Flower is terrified of my house cats. She was bullied by other cats outside. Due to her mobility issues, Flower cannot defend herself. Her only ways of defense are to hide and to hiss. Flower hisses and growls at my house cats. She is afraid of them. Even when they are ignoring her and pass by as a normal course of their day, she is scared. 

It would not be fair to Flower to have to share her forever home with another pet when she is clearly scared of other cats. We all know cat introductions are a long and tedious process to be sure they are done right. As I’ve said, Flower has been here two months with no aggression from my house cats. She sees them through a screen door. Yet she is terrified when the pass by. 

Flower should be with someone home a lot. A retired person or WFH home would be great. She loves attention and would flourish where she can be the center of attention.

To interact with Flower, you need to get on the floor. 

Flower cannot jump or climb. I have provided pet steps. They are too much for her. Her forever home may want to consider a ramp to see if that is an option. 

She may want to sit in your lap, but she cannot physically get there. You need to pick her up, put her on your lap, and put her back down. For safety reasons, I do this when sitting on the floor in case she gets scared or wants to leave my lap. If I am sitting on the floor, she has only a few inches down and won’t get hurt like she would a fall from a chair or couch.

Her interactions:

Flower cowers. She has been with me for two months now and still hides in her box. She does enjoy her morning treats (second breakfast). She will approach for treats. She is very intelligent and recognizes the treat bag. Once she has her treats, she returns to her box.

I do put the treats in a trail to get her to leave her room and praise her and give pets. She always returns to her box after treats. 

If you hold your hand out for her to investigate, she will headbutt your hand when she wants pets. She likes head scritches. Sometimes she will lick your hand. 

She does not walk around while I am in the room.

She very rarely will eat in front of me except for treats.

I have given her full access to the upstairs of my house to explore. She very rarely leaves her room. She prefers to stay in her safe space.

She requires a lot of patience. She saw me outside for 6 years feeding her and talking to her. It took her 6 years to go into the trap for help. She has been here for two months and still has not come out of her shell. 

We had a visitor two weeks ago. She was terrified and hid. This is a cat who will hide for several weeks or months. She will not come up to you. Cats like Flower sit in shelters forever before adopted because they are scared. Cats like Flower are euthanized in shelters.

Flower’s preference is to sit next to you while you pet her, and she purrs. 

Flower does not play with toys, probably due to her medical issues. She does have a few stuffies she likes to cuddle. Her stuffies, blankets, carrier, cat bed, etc. will go with her to her forever home. 

Her injuries and mobility:

Flower is at least 12 years old, estimated by the vet. The vet’s exact words for her are “geriatric special needs.”  She was in a home for the first 5 years of her life before she was kicked out, used as bait, and then outside for 6 years before I could trap her. For more on being used as bait, read part one.

Her dental health in general is good. She is missing one upper canine. 

Her entire pelvis was crushed. This is why she cannot jump or climb. She can run. 

She has a stub tail. It is unknown at this point why. She does wag her tail when you pet her and when she is happy.

She had severe injuries to her right arm and arthritis has set in. The entire reason why I trapped her was because she was limping. She needs extra heat. She has a heat disc I heat for her twice a day and put in her cat bed that will go with her to her forever home.

You need to keep an eye on her movements for any limping. She will need further treatment for that injury. It is unclear at this time if the vet can do something for the arthritis or if there is a possibility she would need to be a tripod. Any adopter needs to keep an eye on her for limping and be prepared for ongoing medical needs if she needs arthritis injections/treatment or potential surgery. 

Her eating and toileting: 

Due to her injuries and mobility issues, Flower’s food and water dishes should be elevated. I have a pet shelf that is being used for this purpose. It will go with her to her forever home. 

She eats and drinks normally. She is on a schedule for breakfast. 

She is not on a set schedule for dinner yet. We are still working on that.

She toilets normally. Be aware that due to her mobility issues, she should have a cat pan with a low step-in / step-out. You should consider one of the cat pans for senior cats or even for kittens to meet her needs. 

She does groom herself but also needs help. She is not physically able to use cat scratchers either vertical or horizontal – both have been provided. You will need to keep up on keeping her nails trimmed. She does not like her nails trimmed. I am working with her on this – trying to pet paws to get used to being handled, etc. Please be aware she may bite you when you cut her nails because she does not like it. This is the only time she has ever shown any aggression.

Flower allows all pets and handling. It is very easy to put her in a carrier for transport. The vet office was surprised at how easy she was to handle. This cat is NOT feral and never was. She is severely traumatized. She cooperated with the vet visit much more than expected and they were able to do a lot. 

This is the most submissive cat I have ever seen, and I used to volunteer in a shelter. 

My Thoughts

I’m not going to lie. This is hard for me emotionally. I want to keep Flower. I wish I could keep Flower. I cannot keep her and it breaks my heart. Flower needs a forever home and it’s not mine. There are three reasons I can’t keep her:

  1. Flower needs to be the only pet in a home. It is not fair to Flower for her to live here permanently when she is obviously scared of other cats. (It’s also very hard on me and the house cats to have her separated).
  2. I can’t keep them all safe. We have been physically injured by the neighbors since I reported the dog fighting ring. Battery is not a crime in NYS. Read more about the dog fighting ring in part one. Bottom line, the neighbor attacks are ongoing and continuous. I struggle to keep myself and my three house cats safe. Basically, I can’t. We have been physically injured by the neighbors and needed medical care twice. There is no way I can keep Flower safe too. The local government and sheriff department refuse to do anything about the criminal harassment we are experiencing. I have experienced retaliation for complaining.
  3. We are living in an ongoing pandemic. I am one of the ones that is supposed to “fall by the wayside.” I have had medical professionals and multiple people in the community tell me to my face that I need to hurry up and die already. I don’t want to die. I love being alive. Specifically, I need to outlive my cats to keep them all together. You have heard of bonded duos. I truly have a bonded trio with my house cats. There is no way I can take on a 4th. I very much worry about what will happen to my cats if something happens to me. 

Flower needs a forever home where she will be loved and cherished like she deserves. She should be in an experienced cat home that can meet her needs. She needs to be an only pet as she is so scared of other cats. Finding her a forever home is like finding a needle in a haystack. I have no shelter, rescue or anyone helping with this.

Combine that with the fact I am immune compromised and have a disability that impacts my driving. No, I cannot drive hours for her to meet you. I can do about an hour drive on a good way. I am willing to try to coordinate transport for her to a forever home. It will be challenging. 

I can tell you right now a “meet and greet” with Flower will fail spectacularly. She will be terrified and hide. She may hide from you for weeks or months when you adopt her. Are you prepared for that? Or are you going to get frustrated, kick her out, give her back or give her up to be killed? 

She needs a forever home with someone with A LOT of patience who is prepared to take on a cat who has experienced severe abuse at the hands of humans and has trust issues. She has ongoing medical needs. 

Flower needs a very special retirement home. 

Since it is just me helping her, any potential adopters will be very thoroughly vetted. Expect to have multiple conversations and provide references. Every single human has let this cat down. I am not going to let her down. I am doing everything I can to set her up for success in a forever home. 

Please also understand how hard this is for me. I never fostered before. I was shocked when the shelter said they would not help an injured animal. I couldn’t just turn away. I had to help. I trapped her. I’m giving her a home right now, but this is not the best for her permanently. 

I would love to keep her, but I truly believe based on her behavior, she needs to be in an only pet home. Part of me still has hope she will relax and stop hissing at my house cats and accept them, but the reality is, she fears them, no matter how friendly and welcoming they are. Flower would be most comfortable as an only pet. 

I am very attached to her. Every cat I have ever adopted has been for life. Fostering is hard. I did not expect this. I thought the shelter would take her when I reported her injured. I have no regrets about helping her, but this is hard. I love her so much, but I know I am not the best forever home for her. 

I am open to SERIOUS inquiries for a forever home for her. If you have made it this far, thank you for caring enough to read. 

Saving Flower (Dog Fighting Ring Bait Survivor) Part One

/ rachelgoes262 / 3 Comments

Flower has been mentioned in this blog on and off for the past six years. For the most recent post about Flower, see Last Stray Surviving. For more background about the active dog fighting ring and how I found out about it, see Clare’s Story. 

The dog fighting ring has been reported, but nothing is being done about it. The SPCA and the Sheriff Department state that it brings in too much money. People bet on dog fighting. When asked about the cat used as bait for the dog fighting ring, both the SPCA and the Sheriff’s Department have said, verbatim, “cats don’t feel pain.” This is how they justify animal abuse. Of course, this is false. Cats do feel pain. 

The local SPCA fired their humane officer and is set to close. While they have not publicly admitted it, I am wondering if this is due to their inaction about the dog fighting ring. I did not know there was a dog fighting ring here until I found a spray-painted cat (see Clare’s Story) taking refuge on my front porch. Since Clare, I have trapped and gotten four cats to rescue. 

Flower is the last cat in this area to help. As described in Last Stray Surviving, Flower had lived in the house next door. The dog was taken for neglect and Flower was kicked out of the house, as the local SPCA does not care about the welfare of cats. Those neighbors have since moved. Flower has been on her own outside since being kicked out of her home. 

She often takes refuge in my garage where I provide food, water, and insulated cat shelters to try to help the cats trying to evade being used as bait for the dog fighting ring. Members of the dog fighting ring often cruise throughout the village saying “here kitty, kitty” trying to trap their next victim. 

A few years ago, I saw that Flower had been spray painted and had a broken front arm. She had been used as bait for the dog fighting ring. I tried to trap her to get her medical care. I was unsuccessful. I have trapped and gotten four other cats to rescue. It was always whoever went into the trap was rescued. Flower never went into the trap.

In addition to the SPCA that is closing and says, “cats don’t feel pain,” there is a small non-profit cat rescue in my area that is run completely by volunteers. It is the rescue from which Simon was adopted. They are the rescue that helped me with three of the cats I trapped. In fact, it is that small non-profit rescue who told me that cats were spray-painted when they are being used as bait for dog fighting rings. I never would have known there was a dog fighting ring here if not for that first spray-painted cat. 

Anytime I trapped a cat to take to rescue was when this small cat shelter had room. They know I am trying to help the cats here escape the dog fighting ring so they are not used as bait. They would say they had a space. I would set the trap. Whoever went into the trap went to rescue. 

The fourth cat, Kenny, was super friendly and young. She was one of two kittens that had been thrown out of a pickup truck here. I was worried about her being easy to pick up as bait for the dog fighting ring. The small rescue here that had taken the other three cats was full. Through the power of Cats of Twitter, I was able to trap Kenny and get her to a rescue about three hours away from me. She is now in a loving forever home.

Flower is the only stray left.

Every time I walk into my kitchen, I look out the window for Flower. When it rains, I see her taking refuge in my garage. I take fresh food and water out to the garage every morning. Flower hides under my car. I talk to her. We have been doing this for six years. Over time, she has gradually let me get closer to her, but did not allow touching yet.

About two weeks ago, I looked out the window, and Flower was noticeably limping. She was favoring her front right arm. She was struggling to run, which is a bad sign when there is a dog fighting ring looking for bait.

I contacted the small shelter that helped me with the other cats. They are full. They do not respond to injured cats. The SPCA that is closing is responsible for responding to injured animals. Their response? “It’s fine. She’ll adapt.”  They also indicated that if they sent out a deputy that Flower would be shot as a mercy killing for an injured animal. 

This cat should not be shot and killed. This cat needs help.

So Flower limped along and everyone in this neighborhood smiled and nodded seeing an animal in pain. The neighbors around me love seeing people and animals in pain. If you read my other posts about the attacks and physical injuries the neighbors have inflicted on me and my house cats, you know they are sadists.

Call me stupid, but seeing an animal in pain is very distressing to me. I could not just watch her limp and do nothing.

So even though the rescue is full and won’t take her, I set the trap. Flower is injured and needs medical care.

I honestly did not expect to trap her. I have not been able to trap her for six years. I was not able to trap her when she had visible broken bones after being used as bait for the dog fighting ring.

I must have caught every cat in the village in my live trap. Of course, I released them all. Some even had collars. No wonder I’ve been going through so much cat food for the outside cats! I’ve been feeding every outside cat in the village. 

Trapping is very hard on me physically due to my disability. I said that after day five, I would stop trapping. I haven’t been able to trap Flower for six years. If I couldn’t get her now after five days, I would stop.

When the trap was set for those five days, the only food dish in the garage was inside the trap. I was literally starving her out. If she wanted food to eat, she needed to go into the trap. I know I am Flower’s only food source. I see her every day.

It was about lunchtime on day five when my security camera picked up Flower sneaking into the garage. Those days when they trap was set, Flower did not come around much. She gets overwhelmed with a lot of other cats, and there was so many cats coming to the garage for food and going into the trap instead!

I waited a bit and went into the garage on the afternoon of day five. Flower was in the trap!

I quickly brought her into my basement where I have a dog cage set up with cat pan, food, water, blankets, etc that I use when I trap cats. The cats I have trapped have stayed with me anywhere from 2-7 days depending on when I can coordinate transfer to the rescue, so that is where Flower went. 

The day I caught Flower was a Sunday afternoon. I called the vet office first thing Monday morning and was able to get her in to be seen Monday afternoon due to her injuries.

The shelter is full. I never would have trapped a cat with the shelter being full except this cat is injured. I only trapped her because she is injured and needs help. 

For the record, the shelter will no longer respond to me. They will not help with any advice or support for fostering, they are not helping to find her a home. Nothing. I am 100% responsible for helping this injured cat. I am responsible for her medical bills, care, fostering and trying to find her an appropriate forever home. I did the right thing and have no regrets, but way to shit on a person for doing the right thing. I’ve been completely abandoned by the shelter that had been helping me with the cats being used as bait for the dog fighting ring because they are full.

I cannot take on a fourth cat for multiple reasons. I cannot do this long term.

Here is what is happening with Flower medically and her status:

I am fostering her until I can find her an appropriate forever home. 

Right now, I am so overwhelmed with her care, my three house cats, working full time, and just life, that I don’t have enough spoons to find her a forever home. I need help. This is a lot of time and energy for someone who struggles with their every day. 

I was correct that Flower is the cat from the house next door that was kicked out and those people moved years ago. I thought she was about 7 years old. The vet said she is at least 12 years old. She is geriatric. She is a spayed female. Well, they confirmed female. They did not shave her to look for the tattoo for the spay, but there have not been any kittens. Based on what one of the children told me before they moved, I’m pretty sure she is spayed. 

She is riddled with fleas. They gave her flea treatment, worm treatments, rabies vaccine, distemper, etc. 

Flower is very gentle and sweet. She allows pets. She did extremely well with all handling at the vet office. They said they can’t handle feral cats how they handled her – this cat is NOT feral! 

She just needs love and patience. They were able to do more for her than expected. We were there for a long time and it totally put the vet schedule off because they were able to do so much with her. She even behaved better than Jude when he goes to the vet.

They said her teeth are ok. She is missing an upper canine tooth. 

They did a blood test for feline leukemia and feline AIDS. Both test came back negative.

She does not have a microchip. I told them I thought she would scan to the house next door, but there is no microchip.

They gave her medication at the vet office for her injuries. She ate it in baby food. They sent me home with medication to give her the next 3 days.

Injuries —

She has injuries to her hind legs up into her pelvis. The vet thinks these are old injuries. The limp I am seeing is that there is an injury to her right elbow. Again, the vet thinks this is an old injury. What it looks like is one dog attacked her hind end and the other one grabbed her right arm. 

Anyways, the vet says that they are old injuries, however, the injury to the right elbow is what is causing the limp I am seeing and caught on video. She thinks that arthritis has set in, given her age, living outside and the weather getting colder. 

Flower needs to be kept in an inside home. She will need a home that can handle a geriatric special needs cat and will need additional care to more properly ascertain the extent of her injuries and how to make her comfortable.

For now, she has pain medication and is fine in the dog cage with movement restricted. I did heat up the heat disc I had been using for her outside and put that in with her. I am trying to provide her with as much extra warmth as possible for arthritis. She is still hiding in the cat pan, which is normal behavior the first few days after trapping. She is traumatized with the whole situation.

The vet office does not normally help to find animals homes. That’s not what they do. However, now that they have examined her and see she is a geriatric special needs cat, they are going to try to help see if they can help me figure something out.

I am thinking that her issues are basically going to be mobility issues given her injuries, but I’m not 100% certain. At some point, she will need full blood testing for kidneys, thyroid, etc. 

So, Flower is currently with me as a foster situation. For those of you who follow us on Twitter (and now Bluesky), I have been posting an Evening Foster Flower update daily. She has been with me for about a week now. 

This obviously is an ongoing issue, which is why this is part one. Flower was injured. The shelter was going to euthanize her. I trapped her and got her medical care.

She will need a very special forever home who can handle a special needs geriatric cat who is completely traumatized from being used as a bait cat.

Despite her horrible life, Flower is a sweet and loving cat. She is very submissive and allows all handling. She will need a patient home with a lot of love. 

Now that Flower has been trapped, I am no longer putting food and water out in my garage for the outside cats. Many of the cats who were in the trap had collars. They are not homeless. I am leaving the insulated cat shelters for anyone who needs them.

Yes, we have an active dog fighting ring here that is still looking for bait. I have now trapped and helped five cats’ escape. I can’t do any more. Especially now that I am fostering Flower, I just can’t help anymore. I am surprised and dismayed that there is no help for injured animals here. If you find an injured animal, you are 100% responsible for it. I do not regret getting Flower medical care, but trying to foster a fourth cat is very, very hard. 

When Flower needs further medical care, I will probably set up a GFM for help. The extent of her medical issues is not yet known. This is going to be ongoing. Her initial vet visit was for the arm injury, vaccines, etc. 

I will need help finding her an appropriate forever home. I am trying to think about what that looks like, the process for finding her a home and vetting a home. Right now I am so overwhelmed with the day to day. 

The good news is, I no longer must worry about outside cats. I had been worried that if my house cats and I need to evacuate our home due to imminent risk of physical injuries from neighbor attacks, that I would not be able to help the outside cats. Now that Flower has been trapped, I only must worry about keeping everyone safe who is under my roof.

The neighbors are an ongoing problem and continue to threaten our safety daily. 

Flower needs a forever home. I can’t keep her. Right now I am focusing on the health and safety of everyone in this house.

So this is part one of Flower’s story. I’m sure there will be a part two, as she needs a forever home that can meet her needs. I cannot keep myself and four cats safe from the attacks from the neighbors. 

Emergency Planning with Cats

/ rachelgoes262 / 2 Comments

September is emergency preparedness month. I use it as a reminder each year to go through my emergency supplies. I make sure everything is stocked and rotated. This year is especially eye opening given that we lived through our first tornado (touchdown 2.5 miles from our house), multiple tornado warnings, and ongoing attacks from the neighbors that result in physical injuries.

When I went through the emergency supplies this year, I took a hard look at what worked, what didn’t work, and what is practical given a true emergency. To my surprise, I found that there were many things in our emergency stash that are unnecessary and a few essentials that are missing. 

This post is not meant to be an exhaustive overview. It is also not going to be for everyone. Emergency preparedness looks different for people depending on family composition and life circumstances. However, I want to highlight some takeaways I have this year.

For reference, our family composition is one adult with multiple food allergies and a disability and three cats. 

In the past, we have had a blizzard bag. A blizzard bag is a bag of supplies to help us get through 4-5 days of sheltering in place. We have huge snowstorms where I live. While raising our taxes, officials have cut back on essential service such as snowplowing. In large snowstorms, we are often cut off from town for 4-5 days at a time. The snow is so deep that we do not even have mail service. The fire department uses snowmobiles to check on people.

Our blizzard bag is now called a tornado tote. The tornado tote is full of supplies to last us 48 hours. The tornado tote is easy to pick up and carry into the basement when a tornado comes. 

The tornado tote normally lives in the emergency wagon behind our front door. The emergency wagon contains supplies for up to 10 days. The thought process behind the emergency wagon is three-fold.

First, the emergency wagon helps us to shelter in place. If there is blizzard and we are cut off from town, all the supplies we need for 10 days are in the emergency wagon. It is in a central location. I know it has what we need without having to search all over the house for stuff.

Second, the emergency wagon is essential if we need to evacuate and can leave by car. In this case, I know that everything we need for 10 days is in the wagon. All I must do is take everything out of the wagon, throw it into the trunk of the car, and off we go. Again, everything is together in a central location. There is no running around the house searching for things or trying to figure out what we need.

Third, the emergency wagon is essential if we need to evacuate and must leave on foot. The wagon contains everything we need for 10 days. It has a handle. I can pull the wagon. The wagon would also help me transport all 3 cats. I can place their cat carriers on top of /in the wagon. A wagon would make it easier for all of us to leave when there is one human with three cats. 

This is the basic outline of our emergency plan. Now, for some specifics on this year’s lessons.

First off, I’m not going to lie, preparing for an emergency is expensive. The cost of groceries is expensive. It can be cost prohibitive to gather supplies for up to 10 days. One strategy I use to deal with this, is to try to add one day’s worth of supplies to your grocery list per month. 

In this manner, it will take a year, but at the end of the year, you will have your emergency supply. As an example, I add one gallon of water to my grocery list each month. I have 12 gallons of water. I rotate the gallons of water every month. As we have seen with the recent hurricanes, some people have gone without water for 2 weeks or more.

I also purchased LifeStraw. LifeStraw is small enough to put in our 48-hour bag. I waited until there was an online sale to order it. LifeStraw will be helpful if we have to evacuate and there is not enough time to get all the water gallons into the car or wagon. For the record, there are 3 water gallons in the emergency wagon. The rest of the water gallons are beside the wagon. 

Second, prepare for your pets. In going through our emergency supplies last month, I found the cat harnesses and leashes. When Kip and Kitty were alive, they were both leash trained. Kip would walk on the leash like a dog. 

However, Jude, Simon and Jolene are not leash trained. They have lived a pampered life compared to how things were when Kip and Kitty were alive. Jude and Simon will not allow me to put a harness on them at all. Jolene will let me put a harness on her, but she does the thing where she just flops over.

I can tell you right now, that if a cat will not wear a harness when they are relaxed and safe in their home, there is no way in hell you are going to get a harness on them in an emergency when everyone is stressed.

The harnesses and leashes are not practical. I took them out of the emergency supplies. 

What is practical for cats are carriers and pillowcases. 

We have a cat carrier for each cat and I have carriers that are medium, or one size larger than what people typically have for their cats. I do this for two reasons. 

First, I believe a cat in a carrier should have enough room to turn around. If your cat cannot comfortably turn around in their carrier, then your carrier size is too small. Second, given that we are a family of three cats and one human, I cannot handle three carriers by myself comfortably. Worst case scenario, I must put two cats in one carrier. I can handle two carriers. There needs to be enough room for two cats. Granted, it will not be a comfortable fit, but we are talking about an emergency.

While I have not tried it, I have heard from other pet parents that pillowcases are essential. The idea is that you grab the cat and stuff them in the pillowcase to get them out when you can’t get the carrier. Again, I have not personally tried this. To me, it sounds like a nightmare. I can’t get a harness on my cat, and you think I am going to stuff him in a pillowcase? But I do have three pillowcases in event of emergency. I want to be prepared. I do not have experience with the pillowcase thing, but it comes recommended, and I want to be prepared for a true emergency. 

As far as food and water bowls go, I got the collapsible kind that are used for dogs who travel. They are lightweight. Since they collapse, they do not take up much space in the emergency bag. I rotate the emergency food every year. 

For the human, I have been able to save up to buy freeze dried foods (MREs). I got these from a backpacking/hiking/camping company that specializes in food that does not require cooking or heating, just water to rehydrate. Again, these are expensive up front. However, they have a shelf life of 25 years, so I do not have to rotate and replace the human food supplies every year. For the record, I have tried some of them to see how they taste, and I must say they are excellent. 

There is a lot more I could talk about that goes into our plans and supplies for emergency preparedness. However, this year I just want to highlight the lessons I learned about the cat harnesses and the tornado tote. Given that we are living in an ongoing emergency, there is a lot to prepare. If you spread the cost out over the course of a year, it can be done even on a budget. 

When we had the tornado this year, it was the first time a tornado has ever touched down here in almost 200 years. Tornadoes are not normal. Yet, we had multiple warnings this past summer. All sort of weather records is being broken every day.

I would not say that I am a prepper. I am realistically prepared. Eleven months out of the year, the emergency wagon sits there, and I don’t think about it. When the tornado warnings go off, I grab the tornado tote and we all head to the basement. When we are snowed in for a blizzard, I know that if I run out of things, the emergency supply is there to sustain us if we need it. 

Be sure to include your pets in your emergency plan. Be realistic based on their needs and personalities. Pets are family. If you evacuate, take your pets with you. 

Clare’s Story

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment
Clare is the cat that started all the neighbor drama. I had seen her briefly throughout the fall and winter of 2021. I figured she was homeless. Who in their right mind would let an indoor/outdoor cat outside in weather that was 20 degrees below zero (Fahrenheit)? No one. Seeing Clare outside is what prompted me to start providing insulated cat shelters to try to help her until I could figure out what to do.
 
I do know there are some “community cats.” There is the concept of trap-neuter-release. I do understand TNR on some level, but at the same time, I strongly feel that every cat deserves a loving home. It is not their fault they are homeless and on the streets. I also am strongly against animal cruelty. If I see an animal in pain or distress, I am going to do what I can to help.
 
One day in winter (now 2022), Clare appeared on my front porch and appeared to have been spray painted green. It was honestly hard to tell against the backdrop of the green outside carpet on my porch. However, when I saw Clare outside against the white of snow, it was obvious she was spray painted green. Why? Why would someone spray paint a cat? To me, this seemed strange. It also felt like animal abuse to me. Cats should not be spray painted. In addition to being spray painted green, Clare appeared to have injuries to her back end that were difficult to see from a distance, but obvious when she was walking.
 
Locally, our SPCA and Sheriff Department have the authority to investigate and respond to animal cruelty cases. I reached out to the SPCA and explained the situation to them. I let them know that Clare appeared to be injured on her back end and should receive medical care. The SPCA told me that the injuries and spray painting were all normal for outside cats and that “she would adapt.” After all, the person laughed, “cats don’t feel pain.”
 
As a cat mom of over 20 years, I found this to be alarming. Cats do feel pain. There was something wrong with this situation. I started to research how to trap outside cats so that I could catch Clare and get her medical attention. I also started calling around to all other animal shelters and rescues within a 50-mile radius. Many told me that I was out of their area. Shelters only cover a certain geographic area – typically the county in which they are located. 
 
Then I happened to remember that there is a second cat shelter in my county that is a small, private non-profit. I reached out to them and explained the situation. The people at this rescue were appalled at the situation. They explained to me that cats are typically spray painted when they are used as bait for dog fighting rings. It is rare to find spray painted cats, as they are almost always killed as part of the dog fighting ring. However, finding a spray-painted cat is a clear indication that there is an active dog fighting ring in the area.
 
The non-profit rescue (called SNAP) lent me a humane trap and worked with me to trap Clare. They took her in, got her medical care, and she became part of their rescue. The veterinarians who volunteer their time and services there confirmed that her injuries were consistent with being used as bait in a dog fighting ring, and that there were other, older injuries present as well.
 
After getting Clare to rescue, I started to notice other outside cats hanging around that seemed homeless. Almost all of them appeared with injuries to their back ends like what I had seen on Clare.
 
I reached out to SNAP again. Since taking Clare into rescue, they have taken an additional four cats from me that I have been able to trap. They have given them all medical care and they have been adopted into loving homes. One older cat, Tom, is even called the King of Main Street! He lives on Main Street with his owner and looks out the window at everyone walking by. People like to wave at him. His owner says he is the perfect lap cat. 
 
For everyone says that “Community cats” should be left outside in colonies as part of TNR, I respectfully disagree. 
 
There are now two cats left. Flower was kicked out from the house next door and they have since moved. I estimate Flower to be at least 6-7 years old. All the times I have set the traps for outside cats, I have yet to catch Flower. It has always been whichever cat ends up in the trap is the one that goes to rescue. Flower has never gone into the trap. I wish she would.
 
A few years ago, she showed up with a broken front leg one winter. I still could not trap her to get her medical care. 
 
A small dark tabby has appeared this summer. I call him Crosby. He is cross-eyed and has the same injuries to his back end that were seen on Clare and all of the others. Crosby is young – he is playful as a kitten. He chases squirrels and leaves. I estimate him to be one year old at most.
 
Flower and Crosby are the last two cats remaining to trap and get to safety. The problem is that SNAP is full. They have been full for a year now. All the local shelters are full. 
 
SNAP knows that Flower and Crosby are here. They know there is a dog fighting ring. However, they cannot take either Crosby or Flower due to no space.
 
Since my interaction with the SPCA, a few things have happened on the dog fighting ring front. First, it was in the news this summer that the SPCA fired their humane officer and is in danger of closing. They did not give explicit details, but I am wondering if it has anything to do with the refusal to look into the dog fighting ring or active involvement.
 
The second thing is that I had an interaction with the Sheriff department last year regarding animal cruelty. The officer accused me of lying. They said that it is no big deal because “cats don’t feel pain.” They used that exact phrase. It’s the same phrase the SPCA used when I had called them originally to report a spray-painted cat with injuries. 
 
“Cats don’t feel pain,” is the exact phrase that law enforcement is using to justify animal cruelty. 
 
SNAP knows that Flower and Crosby are here and will let me know when they have space to take one of them. When they do have space, I will set the live trap. Whoever goes into the live trap goes to rescue. 
 
The challenge is that SNAP has been full and does not show signs of having space any time soon. 
 
I am willing to trap either Flower or Crosby to get them to a loving home if I can find someone to take one or both that is trustworthy. The challenges with that are: one, finding someone willing to take one of them and two, properly vetting any potential person would provide a safe home. We are already dealing with a dog fighting ring here. I don’t want Flower or Crosby to go to a home where they will be abused, tortured or murdered. 
 
Given the abuse we have been experiencing with the neighbors since June 2023, we may have to move. If we do move, I want to get Flower and Crosby off the streets before we leave this house. Even if we do not leave this house, I want to get Flower and Crosby off the streets. But if we need to move for our own safety, then it will lend even more urgency to getting Flower and Crosby to safety. 
 
I am not going to leave this house and leave them behind to fend for themselves. My garage is a place of refuge for them where they get fresh food and water every day and there are insulated cat shelters to help them survive winter.
 
For Flower specifically, based on how I see her act outside, I think she would do best in a home that does not have a lot of other cats. Flower is okay with Crosby. However, she seems to get overwhelmed if there are a lot of other cats around. Flower would be okay as an only or with one other cat who was not aggressive. She is very shy. That brings a challenge also. 
 
In getting back to Clare’s story, I wonder if the fact I reported a dog fighting ring is what prompted the attacks we are experiencing from the neighbors that are causing our physical injuries. They are retaliating against me for my report by physically attacking me and injuring me and my inside cats.
 
In addition, why do they need to play music so loud? Is the loud music masking the sounds of the dog fighting ring when they have an active fight going on? I don’t have an answer. That is speculation.
 
The only thing I know for certain is that I found a spray-painted cat with injuries. Since then, I have found other cats with injuries too. I have trapped them as I am able and gotten them to medical care. I provide my garage as a safe place of refuge. That is the best I can do. 
 
If you have any leads to get Flower and / or Crosby off the streets, I am open. The closest cities to me are Ithaca / Binghamton, NY. Please be aware that I will thoroughly vette any potential home. If I catch them and get them to someone privately, I will have very high standards for a potential home. To be honest, I am not comfortable trying to home them myself, as I am worried about putting them in a bad situation. However, with SNAP being full, I am open to ideas to help get them into safe homes.
 
The problem with the neighbors started with Clare. Of course, it did not start with Clare herself. The neighborhood here is very bad. Clare just brought to my attention that something is wrong, and I reported it. Ever since, I have been dealing with harassment from the neighbors for reporting. The loud music could potentially be to cover up the dog fighting ring.
 
I have no regrets about reporting Clare’s injuries, trapping her, or getting her to safety. I have no regrets about getting any of the five cats I have helped get to safety. There is still Flower and Crosby left to help. 

It Takes An (Online) Village

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

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It’s been three weeks now since I’ve lost my job. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. After working for 28 years, this is the first time I have ever been unemployed. It is a direct threat to my life, health, safety and ability to care for my cats and keep my family together.

I have no income. I have not been able to get through to NYS unemployment to file a claim. Their web site continuously crashes. Their phone has an automated message saying “high call volume” that hangs up on you. I call unemployment over 100 times a day. I put the phone on speaker and keep hitting redial while I try to look for and apply for jobs.

I am not eligible for any pandemic mortgage relief due to my student loans. I am also not eligible for any help from social services because I am a single adult with no human children. I am not eligible for social security or disability because I am not “disabled enough” to qualify for any of those services either. I am one of those people who just fall through the cracks and is 100% screwed in this pandemic. Thousands of people like me have died already, and who knows when I will be next.

Losing my job was the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me in my life. It is very possible that I will lose the house, the cats and I will be separated, and I will die this year. I honestly don’t expect to live to see age 43 if something does not improve soon.

I even reached out to local legislators about being able to reach unemployment to file a claim. There is nothing they can do to help. I am one of the “great unwashed” who is either going homeless or dead in this pandemic. I am just another number. 

This past year, I have lost many of my friends and my family to COVID. I can count on one hand the people I knew before the pandemic who are still alive now. 

This past Tuesday, when I opened my local newspaper, I knew every single person in the obituary section. Every single person. There are some days when the obituaries take up an entire page. It should not be this way when I am in my 40s.

As you all know and I have blogged about many times, I loathe social media, especially Facebook. I canceled my Facebook about 5 years ago now and never looked back. I have no regrets about deleting Facebook.

However, I have been extremely isolated in this pandemic. I have lost so many people. So last fall, I decided to try Twitter as a form of social media. I refuse to use Facebook. 

On Twitter, we have been warmly welcomed into the Pet Twitter family. I see happy photos of dogs, cats, fish, bunnies, chincillas and other pets. There are two people on Twitter who I know in real life.

One of those real life people is my best friend from childhood. When I tweeted that I lost my job, this friend sprang into action and set up a GoFundMe for me.

I have a basic idea of what GoFundMe is. I have donated to them a few times before. Twenty dollars here or there to help people who I knew were in genuine need. I never would have thought of setting one up for myself. That first week after losing my job, I was in shock and was stunned.

My friend was able to use our social networks to fully fund my GoFundMe. The GoFundMe paid my mortgage and utilities for the month of May while I look for jobs and try to unsuccessfully file an initial claim for unemployment.

I was also just contacted by GoFundMe itself. Not only was my campaign for May fully funded, but the GoFundMe organization chose me for a micro-grant from their Basic Necessities Fund. I will be putting that money towards June expenses.

I have been lucky in that I have interviewed for two jobs so far. However, the job market is extremely competitive right now because so many people are out of work and searching for jobs. Even though I have interviewed, the chances of being hired are very slim due to the competition. 

Even if I was hired now, I would not see any income from a new job until probably July. In the meantime, I have heard that it can take 4-6 months to actually get through to unemployment to file an initial claim. It can then take another few months after that before you actually receive any money. A lot of people have ended up homeless because they have gone 4-6 months with no income before they are able to file an unemployment claim. 

I hope I am not one of them.

I am very grateful to the online community and to everyone who contributed to my GoFundMe to pay my mortgage and utilities for the month of May. As much as I truly appreciate the help, this is not sustainable. I cannot have a GoFundMe pay all of my bills for the 6 months it takes to get through to unemployment to file an initial claim. 

I really need to find a job and I know that. I update people everyday about how many jobs I have applied for and how many times I have tried to reach unemployment. I am averaging 10-20 job applications a week and over 600 phone calls a week to unemployment.

Anyone who says that people are sitting at home on unemployment and don’t want to work should be shot. I’m not joking. First, many people are not receiving unemployment because we can’t get through to them to file. Second, no job is worth your life. I can tell you right now, after losing now over TEN people to COVID this past year, I am not going to take a job that puts me at risk of COVID. 

My cats are the only family I have left. I am the only family they have. Without me, they will be homeless and separated. I have to keep this house to keep us together. I have to be able to outlive them to take care of them.

Someone suggested I sell the house. Well, then I would be homeless. Rent here is over $400 a month more than my mortgage. That is if I rent a small room in a house with 8 or 9 other people. Plus, no rentals here take pets. I cannot be separated from the cats. 

I cannot buy another house. First, I am unemployed. With no income, I cannot afford the one I have. Second, I will never get approved for another mortgage in my life. I can’t even refinance the one I have to get a lower interest rate. I almost did not get my mortgage due to my student loans. It took a Regional Manager to approve my mortgage and they only did so because I was in a student loan forgiveness program. Now that I am no longer working for a non-profit, I am no longer in the student loan forgiveness program. 

If I lose this house, the cats will be separated and have to live somewhere else. I will die.

That is how dire our situation. I am not exaggerating.

Even though I reach out to unemployment over 100 times a day (167 phone calls on Thursday alone), I am not hopeful I will get through. I honestly do not think I will see any money at all from unemployment. I think I have a better chance of getting a job first. Honestly, I think I have a better chance of getting COVID and dying than I do getting any help from unemployment.

It has taken an online village to get me through the month of May.

As I said, asking people to help me each month is not sustainable and I know that. It is only a matter of time how long we can hold out until we end up homeless and dead.

I am really hoping to find a job soon. Even if I find one this month, I won’t see any real income (a full month’s income) until July.

To the online village that has been helping me, I cannot thank you enough for all you have done. I hope I have been able to express how truly dire our situation is right now. Thank you for giving us another month together alive. I’m not sure how long we will be able to hang on or what will happen.

I am grateful for every single day I get with the cats. They are all I have and I am all that they have.

Thank you to our online village for giving us this time together. 

Hopefully things come together soon. 

Maybe NYS unemployment should hire me to answer their phone. I definitely do not have the expertise to fix their website. 

That Crazy Cat Lady

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Clarence survived the winter. Big Tom is fearless and domineering. Lucy looks bedraggled. Dot is shy and easily bullied. Who are these people? These are the stories of the 9 Lives Gang. It sounds like a soap opera, but really its just that crazy cat lady.

I may not know all my human neighbors, but I know all of the cats and dogs in the neighborhood. It all started with Clarence last fall. The weather dipped down below zero, and he was still outside. What sort of evil person purposefully leaves their pet outside when it is that cold? I understand if the pet will not come inside or ran off, but who would let a pet outside in that knowingly?

Most cats, like Lucy and Dot, are neighborhood cats. I know where they live. I did not see them at all over the winter, because they stayed inside their houses, as it should be. Clarence is the only cat I saw outside consistently all winter. I am 95% certain that Clarence is homeless. He also acts way different than all the other neighborhood cats.

Then, there’s Big Tom, or Old Tom, as I call him sometimes. I’m not sure what his story is or if he has a home. Based on what I have seen of him and how he acts, I am 80% certain that Big Tom is homeless.

Yes, I am that crazy cat lady who names all the homeless cats. I leave out water bowls and food and made an outdoor cat shelter with insulation for winter.

Now, my main purpose in this was Clarence. It just was not right for him to be out in below zero temperatures this winter, so I started by making him an insulated outdoor cat shelter that sits on top of a wood pallet in my garage. I know that he used it because I found paw prints and bits of black hair inside. I like to think that I was a big part of how Clarence was actually able to survive the winter.

Now that the weather has cleared, I do not see Clarence as often. I’m sure he has expanded the geographic area he roams. Although, I got to know his patterns over the winter. Even when Clarence was using the outdoor cat shelter, he typically leaves early in the morning, shortly after first light. Clarence then typically reappears in the mid to late afternoon for a snack. He would go into the cat shelter after dark.

It’s possible he is keeping the same schedule. I see him sometimes. There is a lot going on outside this time of year. Jude and Simon and I have been having great fun bird watching.

So, yes, I am that crazy cat lady. Even though the neighborhood cats have homes, I am not sure what sort of care they get in their homes. Every animal needs food, water, shelter and LOVE. I always leave out bowls of water for all the cats, as I have heard that strays are often dehydrated. I still leave the cat shelter out even though it only gets down to 30 at night now just so that the cats have a safe place to go if they need it.

I watch Big Tom chase off Dot. I feel sorry that he chases her away, but she comes back when he is gone. Dot is very shy, but if she needs a drink of water, she should be able to access a bowl of fresh, clean water.

Lucy looked a little bedraggled the other day. She looked wet and muddy. It’s been raining a lot, but still, she can always go inside my garage or the cat shelter to stay dry if she is stuck outside in the rain and cannot get back into her house. She at least has the option of a dry, safe place even if she chooses not to use it.

Lucy is super friendly. She lives a few houses down and we joke that she is Jude’s girlfriend. He gets so excited when he sees her outside and she comes much closer to the house and the windows than any of the other outdoor cats. We also joke that Dot is Simon’s girlfriend. He gets all excited when he sees her. We don’t see her much because she is shy. I’m pretty sure she is also new. I don’t remember seeing her last fall.

Ever wonder what your outdoor cat does during the day? I’m sure if you have a crazy cat lady in your neighborhood, that she could tell you.

Lucy likes to lay in the flower bed in front of my garage and watch the birds visit the bird feeder. Dot likes to hide behind the bush in front of my house. When Clarence gets scared, he hides on top of the garage door (that is open – between the garage door and the ceiling). Big Tom sleeps on top of the extra house siding that is stored on the second floor of the garage. He won’t go in the cat shelter.

I’m sure they each have their own daily routine and that it differs depending on which property they are visiting at the moment.

My two cats are indoor only. They have a huge house to play in and I know they are safe. Not all cats are indoor only. For those that are outside, I try to make their lives a little bit easier. I can’t control what happens to them, but I can at least provide them with a dry, safe place to rest that has fresh water if they choose to visit.  I’m happy that Clarence at least made it through the winter. I figure that anything beyond that is out of my hands.

The stereotype of that crazy cat lady is always someone older in a robe and curlers going out with a pan of food for 15 cats. Ever think that the reason why she is doing that is because no one else will step up to care for these animals? Truthfully, if people were responsible pet owners they would spay/neuter and keep their animals indoors or at least bring them in at night. Every pet deserves love and attention. No one deserves to be constantly caged or left outside without human interaction.

Pet ownership is a life long commitment. It’s like having a human child. Some people don’t seem to get this. Dogs can live 10-15 years; indoor cats can live 15-20 years. When you adopt an animal, you adopt for life. That is a long commitment. It is not just about the adorable puppy or kitten phase. You cannot just push your pet over to the side and completely neglect their care when you are having a personal crisis in your life.

Pets are living, caring beings who depend on people for much of their survival. You can’t just leave a pet outside to fend for itself when it is used to depending on you. The only thing that they ask for is love and we all know that they give so much love in return. Being loved by a pet is the greatest honor I have ever known in life.

So, yes, I am that crazy cat lady. I hope that you all love your pets, and even if your cat is indoor/outdoor that you are showing them affection when they come inside for the night. If you’re ever curious about what they get up to when they are out and about, ask your local crazy cat lady. We tend to watch out for them when they are on our property. I call my bunch the 9 Lives Gang.

How to Train Your Cat: A Guide for Humans

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Jude and Simon have this system down for the past year where they have been manipulating me to feed them extra food. I know that they were doing it, but I could not figure out how to make it stop and was too tired to care.

The cats eat breakfast and dinner. Their food is measured according to the veterinarian specifications so that they stay at optimal weight and health. Jude will beg for food, but he is easily ignored. What is more challenging is that Simon acts out to try to get food. I have not been able to get him to behave. The only way I can get Simon to stop destroying whatever he is destroying is to feed him.

So when we went to the vet office for Jude’s well visit this spring, I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. Jude and Simon have been manipulating me ever since we moved into the house. I was literally at my wit’s end on what to do and how to make it stop.

Simon was chewing stereo cords. I literally thought of taking the stereo upstairs and putting it in an empty room to get him to stop. This would completely screw up my mojo. The stereo is my longest possession – I’ve had it over 20 years. I play radio or CDs all the time. I have trouble with the stairs, so to put the stereo on the second floor would be torture to me. I could not get Simon to leave the stereo alone unless I fed him.

So, yes, Jude had gained 2 pounds since we have been in the house which is totally not good for his health. When I explained the entire situation to the vet, she laughed saying that the cats have trained me. I guess they have. The cats are better at training me than I am at training them.

Have you ever tried to train a cat? It’s like nailing jello to a tree. They say dogs have owners and cats have staff. There’s some truth to that. Thank goodness we don’t have a dog. I don’t think I could train one.

I told the vet everything I had done to get Simon and Jude to stop.

The vet said that I should be able to train them within a week. She gave me some tips and said that the vet office would follow up in a few weeks to see how it was going.

I can train a cat within a week? I know people who own dogs who have to take them to obedience classes and it takes months to train a dog. You think I can train two cats within a week?

Try 4 days.

Yes, I did train them. It took four days.

I followed my vet recommendations. I put a handful of quarters in an empty pineapple can. Whenever Simon got anywhere near the stereo, I shook the can without looking at him, talking to him, or acknowledging him. I shook that can and continued reading/cooking/doing whatever I was doing.

Simon is completely fearless. Simon is not afraid of anything except thunderstorms. This cat is brave beyond belief with absolutely everything on planet earth except thunderstorms. And apparently, quarters in a pineapple can. Those are terrifying too.

Do you know how hard it is to train a cat like this without laughing hysterically? It’s like when you are trying to have a “teachable moment” with your child when they have done something absolutely hilarious, yet you have to keep a straight face so they will learn why even though what they did was funny, it was not a good idea.

So, if you want to train your cat, put a handful of quarters in a pineapple can and shake it when they misbehave.

I did that four days in a row before we finally got to the point where Simon does not dare go anywhere near the stereo.

Quarters in a pineapple can will train your cat in 4 days. Who knew?

We have the best veterinarian EVER!

How to Train Your Human: A Guide for Cats

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WP_20190203_13_15_31_Pro (1)Disclaimer: If you lack a sense of humor, you should stop reading now.

Double Disclaimer: If you lack creativity, you should probably stop reading now too. This will be either the most brilliant or the most stupid thing you have read. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Today’s Guest Post is provided by Jude Anderson AKA one of the cats with whom I live AKA the man of the house that is really in charge here.

Hi, my name is Jude Anderson. After 7 years, I have finally figured out how to train my human and wanted to share it with you today for all the other felines who want to take more control over their household than they already have. After all, the purpose in human staff is to get them to meet our needs.

We all know how to manipulate our humans. Lay on the computer/newspaper/book when they are using it. Look cute and bat things. Chase sunbeams. This past year, I finally figured out how to train my human to overfeed me.

Last year, the veterinarian was concerned about my weight. Something called obesity and diabetes. We all know those things can be fixed with treats, right? Well, somehow, my human thought that this vet person was in charge and started actually measuring my food for both breakfast and dinner.

Can you imagine it? My human was measuring my food.

Sure, I tried all the typical tricks to get extra food. I meowed. I batted my eyelashes. I purred and rubbed up against my human. The food cupboard is impossible to open because it has a magnet on it, so I started pawing at the food cupboard. I made my human feel guilty by giving her pitiful looks while she was cooking dinner. I even stole pieces of my human’s food.

I ate a piece of raw hot dog! Can you believe it! If you want to get your human’s attention, run as fast as you can, grab a piece of hot dog as they are cutting it up, and take that piece of hot dog into hiding. That really gets you attention! I also ate a brussel sprout, but that did not get as much attention as stealing a piece of hot dog.

The typical tricks worked a little. My human started giving me treats. I love treats. It was great. I continued to beg for food even after I had eaten my dinner.

The key to this whole process is begging after dinner. Humans are really busy in the mornings after breakfast. Then they leave to go to this place called “work.” My human says its to pay for cat food, so I guess the whole work thing is okay. I still don’t like it. So, the optimal time for food begging is after dinner.

After dinner is when your human is most vulnerable. Apparently, this thing called “work” makes them tired. Who knew humans needed naps? Cats are the superior ones here. I nap all the time. Anyways, after dinner is when humans are easy to train.

I had this pretty great routine down that was getting me extra treats. Except when my human gave me treats, she also played with me. All this running around works up an appetite!

I decided I needed a partner in crime. I can’t believe my human was measuring my food because the veterinarian told her to do that. Who is in charge of this house? I am!

I have this annoying little brother named Simon. I mean, really, aren’t all little brothers annoying? Well, my little brother is really annoying. My human likes to say his name a lot. Although, I think Simon might be a nickname. Sometimes my human calls him “Simon! I should have named you Alvin.” That’s probably his real name and we use Simon for short.

I got Simon to help me amp up the begging so we could train my human. If you have an annoying little brother, then you can implement the same routine to train your human too.

First, I would start with my begging routine after dinner. The slave – I mean human – always feeds us first, as it should be. Then, the human prepares its own dinner. As the human is preparing dinner, I started my begging to make the human feel guilty like I was being left out. Even though I already ate, it was not fair for the human to be eating and me to not be. Am I right?

I would annoy the human while cooking. You should specifically rub up against your human when they are cooking. They will start screeching about something “hot” and give you treats. It works really well.

Then, after the human ate (and we got treats), I called on Simon to wear my human down.

Simon likes to chew things. I like to chew things too. I chew my toys. We have these stuffed mice that are fun to bite. But anyways, Simon likes to chew things like cords. This makes humans angry – something about being electrocuted – whatever that means. So anyways, get your annoying little brother to chew cords. Your human will stand up to shoo him away so he doesn’t get electrocuted.

Simon would chew cords repeatedly. If you do this often enough, the humans wear down and will do absolutely anything to get you to stop. This means that you will be fed.

Now, this process is not automatic. Training your human takes time. Keep in mind that the human may act out, no matter how well you plan this. When Simon and I first started to train our human, the human would try to do things to counteract Simon.

First, the human put tin foil on the cords for Simon. Boy, was that fun! We ripped the tin foil off and batted it around! Then, the human tried to cover the cords with plastic. That was fun too! The human even started rearranging furniture to try to hide the cords. This was absolutely great because the human made us an amazing obstacle course!

Finally after all these different responses to Simon chewing cords, we wore out our human, and she fed us more food! Our human even made it fun by having us chase kibble!

This was a great game and the best outcome ever! We trained our human to give us a second dinner and play a game of catch with us at the same time!

Keep in mind that it took us quite a few months to train our human. You have to be really persistent to get your human to do what you want. Well, we can’t expect them all to be easily trained, can we?

To summarize how to train your human:

  1. Beg. Use all your typical tricks to get your human to pay attention to you. As cats, we are the center of the universe after all.
  2. If your human does not respond to begging, wait until after dinner when the human is tired.
  3. Enlist your little brother to wear the human down.
  4. Your little brother should come up with a trick that makes your human say his name repeatedly. Getting your human to say your name repeatedly is key to training them.
  5. Be patient. Depending on the human, they can take months to train.
  6. If it’s food you are looking for, be sure to paw at the food cupboard to clearly show the human that they should be feeding you.
  7. Once you get a routine down to train your human, stick with it!

Next, Simon and I are working on getting our human to take us outside. Our human keeps saying things like “leash” and “indoor only.” Once we figure out how to get around these phrases, I’ll let you know how we are doing with training our human.

Until then, happy eating and training!