health

Saving Flower Part 2: Forever Home Needed

/ rachelgoes262 / 3 Comments

Flower was used as bait by a dog fighting ring. I have been very clear about that from day one. Some people have inquired about adopting Flower. I tell them she was used as bait by a dog fighting ring, tell them about her injuries, mobility issues and medical needs. People then proceed to ask me if she is okay with dogs?

I will no longer answer that question. This cat was brutally injured by dogs on purpose, then thrown out like trash. They either thought she was dead or just threw her out to die from her injuries. You think she can live with dogs? I taught pre-school for 15 years and always said there was no such thing as a stupid question. I stand corrected. 

Now that Flower has been with me for two months as a foster, I have learned some things about her needs for a forever home and want to provide an update. Many people have asked. It is disheartening for me to detail things to people only to have them ask questions like “is she okay with dogs?” 

If you intend to make a serious inquiry to adopt Flower, then you need to read all of this and be very clear about her needs. Do not waste my time with questions about things like dogs that I have clearly stated from day one: NO DOGS. 

I don’t mean to be rude, but she deserves the BEST POSSIBLE forever home with ALL THE LOVE. This cat has been to HELL and back.

I never intended to foster. I am one person with three house cats of my own. I have a disability, I work full-time, and I experience continual and repeated criminal harassment from my neighbors that results in physical injury. Taking on Flower has been a challenge for me with everything else I am facing. It is very difficult for me to keep everyone safe with the way the neighbors behave. I have zero regrets about helping her. But I also don’t have spoons to deal with stupidity. 

I am not an official foster. When I contacted the shelter to report her injury, they said they were full. They would not help. I trapped her and got her to medical care. The shelter is not offering any support or advice or help to find her a forever home. They are full and overwhelmed. Their attitude was to shrug and say, “oh well.” We do not have any humane charities here that responds to injured animals. I have no regrets about trapping her or helping her. I truly believe that if she was outside for another winter, she would have seized up with the arthritis and froze to death, unable to move to reach the insulated cat shelters I provide. 

Back to Flower’s needs:

Flower needs to be adopted by an experienced cat person. However, she needs to be the ONLY PET in the home. She would be perfect for someone who may have lost a furbaby and is ready to love again. 

Flower has been here for two months. My house cats have been completely welcoming and accommodating. None of my house cats have hissed, growled, or in any way acted aggressively to Flower. They either ignore her completely or approach slowly in a questioning manner. 

Flower is terrified of my house cats. She was bullied by other cats outside. Due to her mobility issues, Flower cannot defend herself. Her only ways of defense are to hide and to hiss. Flower hisses and growls at my house cats. She is afraid of them. Even when they are ignoring her and pass by as a normal course of their day, she is scared. 

It would not be fair to Flower to have to share her forever home with another pet when she is clearly scared of other cats. We all know cat introductions are a long and tedious process to be sure they are done right. As I’ve said, Flower has been here two months with no aggression from my house cats. She sees them through a screen door. Yet she is terrified when the pass by. 

Flower should be with someone home a lot. A retired person or WFH home would be great. She loves attention and would flourish where she can be the center of attention.

To interact with Flower, you need to get on the floor. 

Flower cannot jump or climb. I have provided pet steps. They are too much for her. Her forever home may want to consider a ramp to see if that is an option. 

She may want to sit in your lap, but she cannot physically get there. You need to pick her up, put her on your lap, and put her back down. For safety reasons, I do this when sitting on the floor in case she gets scared or wants to leave my lap. If I am sitting on the floor, she has only a few inches down and won’t get hurt like she would a fall from a chair or couch.

Her interactions:

Flower cowers. She has been with me for two months now and still hides in her box. She does enjoy her morning treats (second breakfast). She will approach for treats. She is very intelligent and recognizes the treat bag. Once she has her treats, she returns to her box.

I do put the treats in a trail to get her to leave her room and praise her and give pets. She always returns to her box after treats. 

If you hold your hand out for her to investigate, she will headbutt your hand when she wants pets. She likes head scritches. Sometimes she will lick your hand. 

She does not walk around while I am in the room.

She very rarely will eat in front of me except for treats.

I have given her full access to the upstairs of my house to explore. She very rarely leaves her room. She prefers to stay in her safe space.

She requires a lot of patience. She saw me outside for 6 years feeding her and talking to her. It took her 6 years to go into the trap for help. She has been here for two months and still has not come out of her shell. 

We had a visitor two weeks ago. She was terrified and hid. This is a cat who will hide for several weeks or months. She will not come up to you. Cats like Flower sit in shelters forever before adopted because they are scared. Cats like Flower are euthanized in shelters.

Flower’s preference is to sit next to you while you pet her, and she purrs. 

Flower does not play with toys, probably due to her medical issues. She does have a few stuffies she likes to cuddle. Her stuffies, blankets, carrier, cat bed, etc. will go with her to her forever home. 

Her injuries and mobility:

Flower is at least 12 years old, estimated by the vet. The vet’s exact words for her are “geriatric special needs.”  She was in a home for the first 5 years of her life before she was kicked out, used as bait, and then outside for 6 years before I could trap her. For more on being used as bait, read part one.

Her dental health in general is good. She is missing one upper canine. 

Her entire pelvis was crushed. This is why she cannot jump or climb. She can run. 

She has a stub tail. It is unknown at this point why. She does wag her tail when you pet her and when she is happy.

She had severe injuries to her right arm and arthritis has set in. The entire reason why I trapped her was because she was limping. She needs extra heat. She has a heat disc I heat for her twice a day and put in her cat bed that will go with her to her forever home.

You need to keep an eye on her movements for any limping. She will need further treatment for that injury. It is unclear at this time if the vet can do something for the arthritis or if there is a possibility she would need to be a tripod. Any adopter needs to keep an eye on her for limping and be prepared for ongoing medical needs if she needs arthritis injections/treatment or potential surgery. 

Her eating and toileting: 

Due to her injuries and mobility issues, Flower’s food and water dishes should be elevated. I have a pet shelf that is being used for this purpose. It will go with her to her forever home. 

She eats and drinks normally. She is on a schedule for breakfast. 

She is not on a set schedule for dinner yet. We are still working on that.

She toilets normally. Be aware that due to her mobility issues, she should have a cat pan with a low step-in / step-out. You should consider one of the cat pans for senior cats or even for kittens to meet her needs. 

She does groom herself but also needs help. She is not physically able to use cat scratchers either vertical or horizontal – both have been provided. You will need to keep up on keeping her nails trimmed. She does not like her nails trimmed. I am working with her on this – trying to pet paws to get used to being handled, etc. Please be aware she may bite you when you cut her nails because she does not like it. This is the only time she has ever shown any aggression.

Flower allows all pets and handling. It is very easy to put her in a carrier for transport. The vet office was surprised at how easy she was to handle. This cat is NOT feral and never was. She is severely traumatized. She cooperated with the vet visit much more than expected and they were able to do a lot. 

This is the most submissive cat I have ever seen, and I used to volunteer in a shelter. 

My Thoughts

I’m not going to lie. This is hard for me emotionally. I want to keep Flower. I wish I could keep Flower. I cannot keep her and it breaks my heart. Flower needs a forever home and it’s not mine. There are three reasons I can’t keep her:

  1. Flower needs to be the only pet in a home. It is not fair to Flower for her to live here permanently when she is obviously scared of other cats. (It’s also very hard on me and the house cats to have her separated).
  2. I can’t keep them all safe. We have been physically injured by the neighbors since I reported the dog fighting ring. Battery is not a crime in NYS. Read more about the dog fighting ring in part one. Bottom line, the neighbor attacks are ongoing and continuous. I struggle to keep myself and my three house cats safe. Basically, I can’t. We have been physically injured by the neighbors and needed medical care twice. There is no way I can keep Flower safe too. The local government and sheriff department refuse to do anything about the criminal harassment we are experiencing. I have experienced retaliation for complaining.
  3. We are living in an ongoing pandemic. I am one of the ones that is supposed to “fall by the wayside.” I have had medical professionals and multiple people in the community tell me to my face that I need to hurry up and die already. I don’t want to die. I love being alive. Specifically, I need to outlive my cats to keep them all together. You have heard of bonded duos. I truly have a bonded trio with my house cats. There is no way I can take on a 4th. I very much worry about what will happen to my cats if something happens to me. 

Flower needs a forever home where she will be loved and cherished like she deserves. She should be in an experienced cat home that can meet her needs. She needs to be an only pet as she is so scared of other cats. Finding her a forever home is like finding a needle in a haystack. I have no shelter, rescue or anyone helping with this.

Combine that with the fact I am immune compromised and have a disability that impacts my driving. No, I cannot drive hours for her to meet you. I can do about an hour drive on a good way. I am willing to try to coordinate transport for her to a forever home. It will be challenging. 

I can tell you right now a “meet and greet” with Flower will fail spectacularly. She will be terrified and hide. She may hide from you for weeks or months when you adopt her. Are you prepared for that? Or are you going to get frustrated, kick her out, give her back or give her up to be killed? 

She needs a forever home with someone with A LOT of patience who is prepared to take on a cat who has experienced severe abuse at the hands of humans and has trust issues. She has ongoing medical needs. 

Flower needs a very special retirement home. 

Since it is just me helping her, any potential adopters will be very thoroughly vetted. Expect to have multiple conversations and provide references. Every single human has let this cat down. I am not going to let her down. I am doing everything I can to set her up for success in a forever home. 

Please also understand how hard this is for me. I never fostered before. I was shocked when the shelter said they would not help an injured animal. I couldn’t just turn away. I had to help. I trapped her. I’m giving her a home right now, but this is not the best for her permanently. 

I would love to keep her, but I truly believe based on her behavior, she needs to be in an only pet home. Part of me still has hope she will relax and stop hissing at my house cats and accept them, but the reality is, she fears them, no matter how friendly and welcoming they are. Flower would be most comfortable as an only pet. 

I am very attached to her. Every cat I have ever adopted has been for life. Fostering is hard. I did not expect this. I thought the shelter would take her when I reported her injured. I have no regrets about helping her, but this is hard. I love her so much, but I know I am not the best forever home for her. 

I am open to SERIOUS inquiries for a forever home for her. If you have made it this far, thank you for caring enough to read. 

Enjoy the Ride

/ rachelgoes262 / 1 Comment

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One of my favorite well wishes is the reflection that a birthday is the start of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the ride! Birthdays are my favorite holiday. Not only are they a celebration of life, but also recognition of those people who are important in our lives. I always say that every time I get a birthday, it is like a giant middle finger to the world that I was able to survive another year of whatever life threw at me.

My birthday is coming up soon, so it is that time of reflection upon the prior year and also goals and wishes for the year forthcoming. My wish for 36 was for a quiet year. Ages 34 and 35 were quite tumultuous with negative life changes and health crises. I had wanted 36 to be quiet after all the excitement. I got my wish. Not only was age 36 a quiet year, but also it was quiet with a sweet sort of joy I have never before experienced.

In my early 30s, I had read an article quoting an English study regarding happiness across development that claimed that age 33 was the happiest age across the lifespan. In general, I would have to say I agree. I have been saying for the past few years that age 33 was the best year of my life, before it all went to hell with age 34 and 35, but you never get a rainbow without a little rain. Age 33 was a great year. Sure, it had some challenges, as life always does, but there were some major milestones and great moments in my 33rd year. I was able to see my favorite baseball team play in their home stadium for the first time in my life. It is an experience that I know I will think of dearly when my time comes and my life is flashing before my eyes.

However, as age 36 comes to a close, I have to say that in its own unique, unassuming way, age 36 has now usurped age 33 as the happiest year of my life. As with any age, this past year has had it’s own set of challenges, yet the positives of the past year have far outweighed the negatives. This is what has made age 36 my best and most favorite year ever:

  1. I fell in love (again). Anyone who has ever been in love and then somehow lost it, either through death or through the drifting apart that people sometimes do, will tell you that love is that magical feeling that seemingly comes once in a lifetime. We often do not even realize that this is IT: this particular person/relationship/event is love until after it has passed. In general, I would agree. The person with whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with passed away 10 years ago now, and I had resigned myself to the fact that I had found the love that you only find once in life, and that the only thing I would be able to find in the future is maybe a comfortable companionship.

This year I fell in love again and I would have to say that not only was it not expected, but it is also the type of love that I realize and understand that this is IT. It is not something fickle or fly-by-night. Rather, this is a person I have known almost all my life, and has grown quietly through the years while I was busy making other plans. If there were ever a pure form of love, I have it, and to experience that type of love is truly a gift. I have learned that love can give you joy and love can bring you pain. Loving someone means being comfortable with and giving them room to be their own person, make their own choices, and find their own happiness, whether or not that includes me. I have learned that I can love someone very deeply, even if it is a person with whom a relationship does not work out. While love is pure, time is of the devil’s making, and true love understands the only way to love is to give yourself so completely that you are vulnerable to the possibility of loss.

  1. I found myself, and I did not experience an existential crisis in the process. I am the Queen of the Existential Crisis. Pretty much everyone around me will attest that I spent most of my 20s in Where’s Waldo mode, only to have matured in my 30s to a more suave Carmen Sandiago persona, complete with brimmed hat and dreams of world travel. I am staring down age 37 and can proudly say “no mid-life crisis for me” (yet)! I completed my final degree after spending 20 years in school and have eased into my retirement from my life as a professional college student more comfortable in my own skin that I have ever been at any point in my life. I have been better able to handle life’s challenges in stride and have surprised myself with my ability to adult.
  1. I have arrived. Life is a journey, and while I agree with that sentiment in general, I have to say that there is some feeling of accomplishment when we cross a finish line and recognize how far we have come, even with so far to go. I am at a good place in life. While I still struggle and face health challenges, I am finally at a position in my life where I am able to take care of myself in the best way possible. After over a decade of working multiple jobs, 60-70 hours per week, with often only holidays as a day off, I now have employment I enjoy. I have employment I enjoy, that pays me well, and gives me days off. This gives me the freedom to have time to spend doing whatever I choose and also time to be able to take care of myself better than I have been able to take care of myself before. While I face many challenges with my multiple food allergies and autoimmune disorder, I can say that especially in the past year, I have finally been able to make the life changes necessary to put me on the path to good health instead of simply being subject to the whim of my disease.

Part of my efforts to rewind real slow is to help me take care of myself better so that I can enjoy life more. Life is short, and I have sacrificed so much in the pursuit of my education. This past year, I have finally arrived at the point where I am able to live instead of simply survive, and I now see how truly sweet life can be. In 35 years, I had never seen this sweetness of life on such a broad scale. I had caught glimpses of happiness at certain times, but this past year has been the first time I have experienced a sustained sort of joy and contentment in life I have never before seen.

Looking forward to age 37, my wishes are that I am able to take everything I have learned in the past year and continue to grow. I am hoping to be able to get my autoimmune disorder and food allergies under control so that I can enjoy parts of life I am sure I have never imagined. I hope that I am able to make good choices and can continue to surprise myself with my ability to adult. In all honesty, I am hoping to be the type of person this year that my cat thinks I am. Out of all the things I have learned in the past year, I have discovered that the most important is love. While it may sound trite, my cats are the only ones who have been constant in my everyday life for 18 years, and I hope to be everything to them that they have been to me, especially as Kitty will probably only be around for a few more years. I want to enjoy this life I have created for myself and utilize the freedom I have to chart my own course.

So while I am unsure of what age 37 has in store, I am at a good place with firm footing to face whatever is coming. I am hoping that after all the storms I have weathered, that this is my time for a rainbow, and that I can truly take my time to enjoy my ride around the sun.