One year ago today, Flower finally went into the live humane trap. One of my friends called Flower my white whale. Flower lived in the house next door and was kicked out when the dog was taken for neglect and abuse. She was outside for six years (at least) before I was finally able to trap her.
We lived across the street from people who were involved in a dog fighting ring using cats as bait and doing boom cars to advertise drug sales. I kept finding injured, spray painted cats. I had trapped four and got them to safety. Flower was the fifth and final cat I trapped. The neighborhood had really declined due to two houses across the street. When gunfire started, I knew it was time to leave.
I said I would not leave that house until I trapped Flower and got her to safety. I never thought that I would be her forever home.
The animal shelter that had helped me with the other injured cats I trapped and provided evidence for the dog fighting ring was full when I trapped Flower. They couldn’t take her. I said I would foster her. To be honest, it’s a good thing they were full. I am pretty sure that given Flower’s age and medical condition, she would have been euthanized. (At least one of the other cats I got to them had to be euthanized due to the injuries from the dog fighting ring.)
A few years ago, I saw Flower with a broken front arm. It was obvious it was broken. It was hanging at an unnatural angle. Even when she was hobbling on three legs, I could not catch her. Last October, she was limping along. I tried to trap again. Flower is extremely intelligent. She avoided the trap for years.
On November 3, 2024, she went into the trap. To this day, I wonder if she is happy, she went into the trap? I hope she is.
I had tried to find a home for Flower. The longer Flower was with me, the more I realized that she had chosen me as her human. Not only that, but I honestly don’t think anyone else wants to handle her. People are afraid of Flower because she hisses and hides. She only does that because she was tortured by humans. She’s traumatized by what happened to her.
When I trapped her and got her to medical care, the vt confirmed she did have extensive injuries. All four legs and her pelvis had all been broken at some point, along with other issues as well.
Flower was with me as a foster child for about four months when I thought I had found her a forever home. It didn’t work out. People were interested in Flower, but when they met her or learned about her medical needs, decided they could not handle her. That’s honest. Flower is a senior special needs cat who has been through a lot of trauma. She has “issues.” I lovingly call her “spicy.”
Flower has captured the hearts of many people on the internet and has fans all over the world. She used to get her own update on our social media sites daily, then twice a week. Now, she is in regular rotation as a permanent family member.
I am Flower’s forever home. She chose me as her person. After 6 years, she finally trusted me enough to go into the trap. I do believe she chose me.
Flower follows me around the house. Now that she has a ramp, she sleeps in my bed. She purrs. It took months before she started to purr. At first, it was barely audible. Now, her purr is quite loud. She loves sun puddles and looking out the window. She has never tried to escape the house or go back outside.
Flower is extremely intelligent. She is carrier trained and knows baby sign language. I read a bedtime story to Flower every night. Sometimes Jolene and Simon listen too. Flower’s favorites are Goodnight Moon and Toad and Frog. Those are the ones she seems most interested in looking at the pictures. She moves her head around to look at them.
I’ve known that Flower is a hospice situation due to her numerous health issues. I didn’t expect her to do this well or live this long. I never expected her to outlive Jude. Jude’s passing came out of left field. Jude was the one that Flower tolerated the most. Jude won her over. He was the only one of my three that Flower did not hiss at.
Given her medical condition, bones, and eyes, it is estimated that Flower is 15 years old. She has a birthday in April. She will be 16 in April 2026. November is adopt a senior pet month. I wasn’t planning on adopting another cat, but this time last year, Flower picked me out and went in the trap.
I fully intended when she went into the trap that I would get her medical care and get her into the shelter. I never anticipated that they would not take her and I would need to try to home her on my own. I also didn’t anticipate that that home would be me. She lets me pet her. She licks me.
Every day I wonder, “are you happy you went in the trap?” I don’t know. I hope she is. The hardest part of all of it is that I know she would do best as an only child. At the same time, I feel like she chose me as her person. Unfortunately for her, I had three cats when she picked me out.
Flower has been a trooper through the move. She is the one who did the best when we were in temporary housing. She did not seem as happy in our new house as she was in temporary housing until the ramp arrived. Now that she can use the ramp and get into the bed, I think she is ok.
I hope Flower is happy. I really do. She’s so spicy, it’s hard to tell.
Flower is a natural bobtail. She looks like a skunk from the back but a cow from the side. She is a beautiful cat. My heart breaks when I think of what she has lived through. I try not to think about it. I want to give her as much love as I can in the time she has left. I hope she knows she is loved.
Simon was adopted on November 1, 2017. He was a year and a half old when I adopted him. While Simon is the youngest cat in this home, he is the one that has been with me the longest. Simon has also been through two moves with me now. Simon moved from the apartment to our first house. Then, Simon moved from the hell house to our current home.
Simon is 9.5 years old. He may be turning 10 in the spring and approaching senior status, but Simon will always be the baby. He is pure innocence. I had Kip and Kitty from the time they were kittens. I called them the Dynamic Duo. I remember kitten phase and can’t handle kittens. Since then, I’ve said I would adopt adults. Simon is the youngest adult cat I have adopted.
Simon is the sweetest cat. He sleeps with me in the bed every single night. We were so fortunate that we were able to all stay together through this vert rough move we just went through. I was worried we would have to be separated for 3-4 days. Turns out, we had to be in temporary housing for 3-4 weeks. I am so grateful we were all together. The cars came through the ordeal better because we were all together. They are not unscathed, but better than if we had been separated.
Of the three cats, Simon is the one who has been handling the move in stride. It may be because this was the second move for him. The hardest part for Simon is that he is grieving Jude. Simon was with Jude from the day I brought him home. Simon and Jude were very closely bonded.
While Simon is also closely bonded to Jolene, bis strongest tie was with Jude. Simon is our Chief Cuddler. He just loves everyone and wants to snuggle everyone in the house. Simon gets as close to Flower as he dares to get once she is asleep. Flower hisses at Simon when she is awake.
Simon loves playing with small toy mice. He can often be seen on cat cam throwing them around in the air, batting them, and carrying them from room to room. If there are cat toys under appliances and furniture, it’s because Simon put them there. When we were in the apartment, I used to take a yard stick to fish out all the cat toys from under the refrigerator every week. I was regularly pulling out 20-30 toys a week. There are not as many toys under appliances in the house. This is a bigger space than the apartment.
Even the vet office says that Simon is the sweetest cat. He fully cooperates for his exam and vaccines. Simon is very loving.
His only downside is that Simon is afraid of everything. He is so sweet and innocent. He is easily scared. This made it extremely difficult to get him to safety in the old house both for tornado warnings and for neighbor attacks when we were being harassed and assaulted.
The other challenge with Simon is that he chews cords. I’m not sure if that is something from his kittenhood, but when Simon is being naughty, he tries to chew a cord or string. I must hide all cords as much as possible.
Everyone loves Simon. Sweet and innocent are the words that describe him best. “Simon is a good baby” is a phrase heard frequently in our home. Simon is a very good baby. He is such a precious soul.
When I adopted Simon, I had been approved to adopt him in October. I asked the shelter to keep him until November 1 before I picked him up. I did not want a new cat near Halloween and have him scared on Halloween on top of being in a new house. I thought it would be too much. I’m glad I made that decision, now knowing how scared he is of everything. It was the best choice for Simon.
This marks 8 years that Simon has been with me. He is the perfect baby. Simon’s name comes from three places. First, from The Saint so that Simon has a link with Kip and Kitty. Second, from Paul Simon so that he has a link with Jude (and now Jolene). Third, from the Chipmunks.
Simon knows his name, and it fits him. When I sing Paul Simon songs to him, it’s typically either “Everything about it is a love song” or “Loves me like a Rock.”
Simon is the only boy in this house now. It’s Simon with Jolene and Flower. It’s so strange. I’ve always had boys. Jolene was my first girl. Now, Simon is the only boy. There is a lot on his little shoulders. He is the youngest cat in the house but has the most “seniority” since he has been with me the longest.
Happy Gotcha Day, Simon! We love you! I am so honored to be your mom. Simon is a good baby. He is the most gentle and innocent soul.
August 24 is Jolene’s birthday and this year the Queen turns 11! Jolene brings so much life and love to our household. Jolene has my girl baby name. She is the first female cat I have ever had.
While she is small, Jolene made it apparent from when she first arrived that she oversaw Jude and Simon. Jude liked to cuddle Jolene and was cautious in playing with her. He was truly gentle with Jolene and played rougher with Simon.
Jolene and Simon play almost like kittens! Jolene is typically the one who starts the play session, and she likes to win. Often, Jolene and Simon will chase each other up and down the stairs. They also cuddle each other and are truly bonded.
Flower lives in her own little world and hisses at the house cats. Jolene is afraid of Flower and gives her plenty of space. Jolene does not go near Flower. Sometimes Jolene appears on cat cam at night checking on Flower when she is asleep, but it is more of a general “let’s check the entire house” than a specific check on Flower.
Jolene’s favorite toys are carrot and ghost bear. Her stuffies are moved around the house daily. Jolene enjoys transporting them to different places. Sometimes she even puts one of them in a carrier. You know that Jolene is feeling well and in good spirits if she is moving her stuffies around.
Jolene loves attention and will often arch up like a little horse for pets. She loves to be picked up. She is quite the work driver, as she likes to sit in my lap and knows what work times are when I should be sitting. She follows me everywhere. Jolene goes to the basement every morning to check the live traps for mice. She follows me down to supervise laundry and the emptying of the dehumidifier.
Whether at the vet office or at home, Jolene knows just how she likes things and has the nickname Miss Sassy Pants. She is adept at wiggling her way out of things and looking cute when she does not want something to be done to her – like her nails trimmed or her ears cleaned.
Jolene had been found dumped at the animal shelter in a box with her kittens when she was 5 years old. All her kittens were adopted first. Jolene was in a cage at the back in the corner on the bottom. She pawed to be let out, and the orange caught my eye. When I took her out of the cage, she hugged me and would not let go. She picked me out.
Each August, we try to use Jolene’s birthday month to bring awareness to adopt the moms. Adopt the shy cats, the seniors, the differently abled.
In addition to being a mom, Jolene is differently abled. She has a genetic condition that resulted in needing almost all her teeth removed. She has four teeth. She also gets motion sickness when traveling in the car. The motion sickness is unfortunate, as she loves traveling in the car. Thankfully, she does have vet prescribed motion sickness medication so she can enjoy car rides when needed without vomiting.
Jolene brings so much love and life to this house. We love you, Jolene! Happy Birthday to the Queen!
Jude Raymond Anderson passed away on July 21, 2025, in his loving mom’s arms after a brief but brave fight with cancer. Jude was born February 14, 2012, and his Gotcha Day was February 14, 2014. Jude was adopted from the Humane Society of Rome in Rome, NY.
Jude is survived by his mom, Rachel, siblings: Simon Freckles Anderson, Jolene Mamba Anderson and Flower Sunday Anderson. Jude is predeceased by Kitty Molecule Anderson and Kip Quark Anderson.
Jude truly embodied his name and “took a sad dong and made it better.” He came into our lives after the passing of Kip to be Kitty’s companion. Jude was with Kitty for three years, and for most of those, Kitty fought his own cancer battle. Jude was strongly bonded with Kitty. I know Kitty is welcoming him in Heaven and they are cuddling in the sun.
While Jude is loving and accepting of everyone, (even winning over poor traumatized Flower!), Jude’s strongest bond in his life was his time with Kitty. To Simon, Jude was a mentor and an amazing big brother. Jolene is in charge but would still let Jude be man of the house. Flower accepted Jude as her protector, and he was the first of the trio to win her over.
In his Hedgewatch duties, Jude was head coworker. He helped his mom through grad school and supervised writing of the thesis. He would sit in the cat bed in front of the window next to the desk for the past six years of coworker duty. Jude made friends all over the world as part of Hedgewatch. The family would like to especially thank our Hedgewatch family in the UK for your love and support during Jude’s illness.
Jude loved to talk. He always wanted treats and would often get his siblings to join in his shenanigans to try to push up dinner time and get more treats throughout the day. Jude was extremely intelligent and easily trained. He was carrier trained for all meals and was also well trained in the tornado safety plan.
In the apartment, Jude would cling to the screen on the sliding glass door, earning the nickname “Spider Cat.” Jude would go out on the porch to look at birds and could be trusted to not jump off the porch. We were going to travel the world together.
Jude slept in the bed with me every night.
Jude was my best friend. He was there for me at the worst times of my life. He was there for me at the best times of my life. Jude was so full of love and life. He genuinely had an easy-going personality. He never met a stranger. Jude won hearts – everyone he met and everywhere he went.
All you need is love and a cat. Jude was more than a cat. He was a beautiful soul. He gave me so much more than I deserved. It was an honor to be his mom for the time we had. Jude will always be my valentine.
The family would like to thank the staff at Adana Veterinary Clinic for their compassionate and expert care over the years. They are truly the best cat hospital around.
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you please donate to your local no-kill animal rescue In Memory of Jude. Or, if you prefer, save your donations for when we can move to a safe location and are able to accept help with the move.
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.
It’s been 10 years since I started this blog. Back in the day, (mid 2000s) I had a facebook. I deleted my facebook for my mental health. I have no regrets and have not looked back. Once I finished grad school, I decided I was “done” being on the internet and all the drama that goes with it.
In 2015, a coworker suggested I start a blog. She commented that stories I told at work about my life and what I experienced and noticed throughout my day were often comical, and other people may like to read. I decided I also wanted to use all my own original photography and have never used a stock photo on this site.
I pay for my domain and hosting and try to keep things clean and ad-free for you.
While some of my earliest posts may have been comical, I do realize that a lot of posts are more serious as I have navigated challenges in life. I try to focus on downsizing, minimalism and simple living, but life happens. We minimize our belongings to focus on the things in life that really matter – the relationships.
From the comical post era, I will say that one of my personal favorites was the post about the time my yoga pants went to yoga.
The cats have featured on this blog many times. I try to do a birthday and a gotcha day post for each cat. We now have two social media accounts – a twitter and a bluesky. I have made some new and treasured friends sharing my cats on social media. There have been many times over the past 5 years when the pet accounts on our social media have kept me going.
There is a lot of drama right now with these neighbor issues after we were attacked and physically injured two years ago. We are harassed daily; it prevents me from working and sleeping. There are a lot of moving parts, many of them legal, but I am trying to get us out of this situation and to a safe place. I can’t give a lot of detail right now due to safety.
However, once it’s all done and we are in a safe place, I have stories to tell about the journey we are now on to try to get to a place of physical safety.
A few weeks ago, there was gunfire here.
Right now, I’m trying to post on here once a month. It is a struggle with trying to get us to a safe place to live with all the legal and other logistical parts involved. I am also having some very serious health concerns now.
I just wanted to take some time out to acknowledge that this blog has now been here for a decade. It started June 2015. I wanted to be sure I made a post for the anniversary before June 2025 passes us by.
If you are any kind of praying person, we would appreciate all the prayers and positivity you can muster right now. I’m trying to get us away from these abusive neighbors and to a safe place. Finding housing that will accept four cats is the challenge.
I will not give up any one of my cats. They are the only family I have left. My entire purpose of buying this house in 2018 was to keep us all together. I love this house. I researched it back to when it was built and learned its stories.
Due to violent neighbors that have already injured us and continue to threaten our safety daily, we are not safe here anymore.
So please pray we can find a place to live.
Hopefully the next decade of Rewind Live Slow will be able to get back to more of the comical aspects of past.
Happy Birthday, Simon! Today the baby turns 9 years old. Simon is the youngest cat of the three. Simon is our Chief Cuddler. He is very loving and enjoys cuddling and grooming both Jude and Jolene.
Simon will often look at Flower like he wants to cuddle her when she is sleeping, but Simon is afraid of her. Flower hisses at the house cats because she is afraid of them. Simon is so sweet and so gentle. He is afraid of Flower because she hisses at him when she is awake.
Simon loves to play with Jude and Jolene. Simon and Jolene often chase each other up and down the stairs. At night, Simon will cuddle on the bed with either Jude or Jolene to sleep. He can often be found grooming his siblings also.
As the baby, Simon rarely performs coworker duty. Typically, when Simon appears in the office, it’s because it is getting close to a break/snack time or mealtime. He also knows when the workday is ending, and it will soon be family time. When Simon does do coworker duty, it is typically in the last hour of the shift, as he knows family time is fast approaching.
Simon is so sweet and innocent. He is afraid of everything. He hides during thunderstorms and when the lawn is being mowed. He is also afraid of the basement and has been challenging to train for tornado preparedness. Simon takes a long time to learn that something is safe.
He loves the banana toys and the silvervine sticks. He also plays with small felt mice. He is the one who takes toys into the kitchen and loses them under appliances. I must use a yard stick almost weekly to fish toys out from under kitchen appliances.
Simon loves sleeping on the square cat bed in front of the window. He can often be seen cuddling with Jude or Jolene there. He also enjoys watching the birds out the window.
Simon is very sweet and loving. He absolutely adores his siblings and just wants to love everyone. He gets confused that Foster Flower fears him and won’t let him cuddle. He is afraid of her because she hisses at him! Poor Simon has so much love to give. He just wants to love Flower also for the time she is here.
Simon loves all his family members. He sleeps with me every night. If he is not cuddling Jude or Jolene by my side, then he is laying right next to my pillow in the bed. Simon also loves to be under the blankets. It makes him feel safe. Sometimes he hides under the comforter when there is a thunderstorm.
If Jolene brings life to this house, Simon is the one who brings the love.
April 9 is Flower Day. While we do not know her birthdate or age for certain, I am going based on information I know of her history and information from the veterinarian regarding her physical condition. Today, we are celebrating Flower’s 15th Birthday.
If you would like to participate in Flower Day, the ask is that you do an Act of Kindness in Honor of Flower to counteract the extreme abuse she has suffered in her life. I’m sure you have read the prior three installments of Flower’s specific story. In addition to the blog posts specifically about her, Flower has appeared and been mentioned on this website on and off for the past 6+ years.
Flower had another medical appointment back in March to look more into her physical injuries and to see if there are any other issues. The vet office was sure that they found Flower’s unicorn – a forever home with a person who would be perfect. It was an older woman in her 80s, whose cat just died from kidney disease and her home is not a home without a cat.
However, when the vet did a more thorough examination of Flower including extensive bloodwork, combined with her behavior at the vet office and the behavior I report that she does in my home, it has been determined that Flower is a hospice situation.
Flower will be staying with me until a decision needs to be made regarding her quality of life, pain levels, and euthanasia.
It is not fair for this other person who just lost their beloved cat to take on another cat who is at the end of their life. At the same time, it would not be fair to Flower for her to leave me now. She is terrified of other people. Flower growled at the vet office. She has failed every meet and greet with anyone interested in adopting her. Flower hides. If she goes to another home now, she will hide for weeks or even months.
How would that person know she is in pain unless they have a camera on her all the time like I do? How would they be able to give her the medication she needs daily if she hides from you.
If Flower only has a few months to live, it is not fair to her to have to spend her last few months learning to trust a stranger.
Flower is afraid of my house cats. Yes, it would probably be best for her to be an only pet. However, she is very attached to me. She rubs on me, licks me, and allows me to administer her medication every day. She does not hide from me. I have been working with this cat every single day when she was outside for the past 6 years before she finally went into the trap. How long would it take for her to get used to a new person?
Part of the reason why Flower is so scared of the house cats – Flower is going blind. This is one of her MANY medical issues. She is not blind yet, but her vision is very poor and getting worse. She can see them, hear them, and smell them. But I think sometimes they get close to her before she can register they are there, and her default is to hiss because she does not have enough time to decide if they are friend or foe.
The house cats have been nothing but patient and kind to Flower. No one has hissed or growled back at her. When Flower hisses at them, they run away or give her more space.
Is this a perfect situation? No, it is not. But this is the best situation for Flower knowing that she is at the end of her life.
The vet office has given Flower a medication for her arthritis to try to improve her quality of life. It can take 4-6 weeks to work – IF it works. At this point, I am trying to keep her comfortable and let her know she is loved. When it gets to a point where she is in pain from the arthritis and the pain cannot be managed or her quality of live decreases, it will be time to say goodbye.
I am still calling Flower a Foster. I never planned on having a fourth cat. I was completely shocked the shelter here would not respond to an injured cat. I truly thought she would only be with me for a few months and then would be adopted into a forever home. I didn’t realize this is a geriatric, medically complex cat. She would have died outside this past winter if she hadn’t gone into the trap last fall.
She is with me as a hospice until she passes. There are people who foster pets who are hospice. It is called fospice when that situation happens.
Flower is no longer available for adoption.
If Flower had been taken in by the shelter last fall, she would have been euthanized. She is truly a hospice situation. She is too medically complex for rehoming.
She will be staying with her foster family permanently until it is time for her to be euthanized from her injuries.
Yes, she would do better being with someone where she could be the only pet in a home. However, it is going to be more stressful for her to leave me and learn to trust a stranger at the end of her life. She is comfortable with me. I know her habits now, I’m home a lot, and she has a camera on her all the time. (Sometimes I wake up to 50+ 10-30 second videos of her just stretching or rolling over in her cat bed.)
I’m trying to show Flower all the love she never had. I’m treating every day like it may be her last. Now that I know she is hospice, I’m glad I took extra time to show Flower Santa on NORAD at Christmas and included her in our family activities. Will Flower see another Christmas? I don’t know. But at least I know she had one Christmas with me inside, warm, fed and loved.
I’m not sure if Flower will have other birthdays. I hope that she does. I want to show her all the love she didn’t have for so long. We will see. These things are beyond our control. It all depends on her ongoing medical status.
Today we say, Happy 15th Birthday, Flower! Please do an Act of Kindness for Flower Day on April 9 to push back on all the evil Flower has experienced in life.
Quite a few things are going on with Flower. I will give an update on her progress and challenges as well as what helps and what doesn’t help.
Flower is not ready for adoption. She does not wander around independently unless I am not upstairs. That’s why I have a camera on her. With her mobility issues, I need to see if she is walking normally or limping. If she will not walk around enough when I am around for me to be able to tell, then I view her on camera.
Flower is terrified of other people. If she hides from me when I go upstairs unexpectedly, how many months will she hide from a person she doesn’t know in a new house? If Flower is adopted now, that person will be starting from square one trying to earn her trust and socialize her. Her progress over these past four months will be lost.
I am a permanent work from home. She seems me multiple times throughout the day. Even when she does not see me, she hears me all day long. I work in a call center. I literally talk all day. If you are a person who works outside the home 8 hours a day, how are you going to socialize her? Hope she will come out from hiding for the 15 minutes you have to spend with her?
I paint a rosy picture of Flower on social media highlighting her progress and how cute she is. I don’t talk about the struggles and the frustration. If I keep things positive and cute, then someone will be interested in adopting her and reach out for more information.
Someone on social media said I need to update Flower’s information for potential adopters because it is too harsh.
I painted a rose-colored picture. If you think the information I have provided is too harsh, then you truly have no idea of how extensive her needs are and how hard it is trying to find someone who will take on a senior disabled cat with extreme PTSD.
So, if Flower is not ready for adoption, then why did I post the information about her? I posted it because someone forced my hand. I needed to put the information out there because if I didn’t someone who is completely unaware of Flower, her medical needs, or her personality was going to post it instead.
Let me explain.
This is where we get into the pros and cons of keyboard warriors and how social media is helping or not helping this situation.
At Christmas, some well-meaning person did a huge social media push saying they wanted to see Flower adopted in time for Christmas. Was Flower ready for adoption? No. In December, she was still recovering from her injuries. I was still working with the vet office on medication, etc. She was nowhere close to being ready for a forever home.
However, as the result of this well-meaning person wanting to see her adopted before Christmas, some other person, out in AZ reached out. I don’t know this person. They don’t follow me. They don’t know Flower, her story, her medical needs, or her personality. They said they were going to post an adoption link that Thursday.
Excuse me. Who are you?
What was this person going to post? I was frantic thinking I needed to get out in front of this. (A VERY founded concern, as you will see later.)
Because I felt under threat from an unknown person who was going to list Flower, I felt I needed to post more with information about her. So, I did. I posted it. She is not ready for adoption, but I truly felt my hand was forced due to some well-meaning person on the internet.
What about the person in AZ who was going to post?
Well, they did. On Facebook marketplace, one of the most sleezy places of ill repute on the internet. Then I was flooded with inquiries asking if she was available for target practice (to shoot), if the dog fighting ring could “finish her off,” and if she was “good with dogs.”
It was alarming and heartbreaking.
All of this occurred at Christmas, making the holiday even more stressful for me than it already was. All thanks to some keyboard warrior.
Yes, Flower needs a forever home, but this is not the way to do it. Abusing me and forcing Flower into situation she is not ready for is not the way to successfully get her into a forever home.
We will continue with this downward spiral of social media, and then I will let you know the positives it has provided.
But continuing this downward escalator …
I had someone contact me saying Flower needs to go to a local shelter for adoption, as I am not making good choices for her. First, all the local shelters are full. They won’t take her. That’s how we got into this foster mess, remember? Second, even if they weren’t full, she would be euthanized upon intake due to her age and disability. Third, in the very, very small chance they took pity and did not euthanize her (by some miracle), she would then be in a tiny cage surrounded by other cats and would hear barking dogs. This is a cat that is terrified of other cats and was used as bait as a dog fighting ring. Yet, you think those options: 1, 2, and 3, would all be better than what I am doing working with her in my home right now?
Someone else accused me of not being willing to give Flower up if the perfect adopter comes along. Not true. I cannot keep Flower, and I know that. She needs to be the only pet in a home. However, the perfect home has not come along yet. (Have you read anything written above?)
So far, I have had two genuine inquiries into Flower. Both people live 6 hours away. There would be distance to overcome, but I am willing to work with someone to figure things out if they are the perfect adopter. The first person admitted they would not be able to financially provide for Flower’s medical needs. I was grateful for their honesty. The second person, I did say Flower is not ready for adoption due to her behavior, and she needs more medical care in April. The soonest she MIGHT be ready is May. That person decided to leave the situation alone. I respect that.
Bottom line, Flower has a lot of needs I do not discuss because I don’t want to scare away potential adopters. The only people who have expressed interest are those who want to torture and abuse her further.
Now we get to the final negative point of social media before moving on to the positives. The final negative point: victim blaming.
I have been saying that Flower needs to leave by spring. Will she be ready to leave this spring? I don’t know. Probably not. I’m trying to go based on her behavior.
The problem is, I am running out of time.
As much as I want to go at Flower’s pace and set her up for success in a forever home, the fact remains we live in an area with violent neighbors. When they start attacking us in earnest again this spring, I won’t be able to keep us all safe. It’s going to be hard to care for Flower and get her ready for adoption when I am laying on the floor bleeding from a neighbor attack (no, the police won’t respond. Battery is not a crime here.)
Then comes the victim blaming. Someone on social media said the abuse is my fault. It’s my choice to live here and be abused and not moved.
As anyone who has known me for a long time knows, I have tried to get the abuse to stop. I want to move. But when apartment rents are more than my monthly income and I can’t get approved to rent, or won’t take cats, how am I supposed to leave? The mortgage company won’t approve a short sale of the house. I will have to stop paying the mortgage and voluntarily let it go into foreclosure to get my name off the deed. With a foreclosure on your record, you can’t get approved for an apartment.
Yet, according to this person on the internet, this is all my fault. It is my choice not to move. I could choose to be homeless and not be abused. Of course, then all the cats would be euthanized too, and I wouldn’t have to worry about fostering Flower. Thank you, keyboard warrior, for blaming the victim in a criminal harassment case. I understand I deserve to be abused simply because I exist. The village does not want working people who pay their bills to live here. We need more drug dealers and animal abusers.
This person even said, “I know you will probably block me for this …” and proceeded to blame the victim for the abuse. If you know victim blaming is wrong, why did you do it? Why did you kick someone when they are down and attack someone who is already struggling?
I did not block that person. Only out of shock. I previously had positive interactions with this person. I’m kind of hoping their conscious will kick in and they will apologize for their remarks because they know victim blaming is wrong.
Yes, I understand it is my choice to stay in this house and be abused by these people I don’t even know. I alternative is being homeless and having the cats all euthanized. Thank you for suggesting euthanasia as a viable option. I have medical professionals suggesting euthanasia too since I am someone who is supposed to “fall by the wayside.”
That is the downward spiral of social media. Keyboard warriors saying my rosy picture of Flower is too harsh, victims deserve to be abused (your other choices are euthanasia and homelessness – those are better!), and random people halfway across the country listing animals they know nothing about for adoption.
Yes, Flower needs a home.
I would keep her, but she truly needs to be an only pet. I do not give her that label lightly. I am going based on her behavior. I am going on what’s best for her (even though I have been accused of NOT doing what is best for her).
I do worry I am running out of time. If the neighbors would stop their behavior and not attack us, then I could go at Flower’s pace with everything. I have no problem working with her to get her into a forever home. The problem is that the sheriff department won’t respond to criminal harassment. They have some sort of special relationship with these people. I can’t afford or find a criminal lawyer. Those things take time. Every single time I have made a report or complained, I have gotten retaliation in the form of more injuries. I have been told if I complain again, my cats will be taken and used as bait for the dog fighting ring.
So, unless you are a criminal lawyer willing to help me …
Now that we have given a brief overview of the negativity I have experienced on social media since trapping and helping Flower, we will move to the positive. Yes, I truly did do a brief overview of negativity. I painted you another rosy picture of just how mean people have been to me.
The positivity –
There are many people who have been encouraging and helpful on social media. I have gotten encouraging comments and advice. Other fosters have reached out to help. I really need that, especially since the shelter is not helping me even with advice. I have never fostered before. I am truly on my own.
Some people I trust have been reaching out to their social networks trying to find an appropriate adopter for Flower. I truly appreciate their efforts.
People have donated gift cards to chewy and Amazon. I have not asked for financial help, but it has helped a LOT. I have gotten things for Flower. I am going through a lot more cat litter than before with two additional litter pans.
There have also been donations to my paypal, which has also been helpful. Flower means extra vet bills, and her appointments so far have all been emergency due to her injuries. She needed vaccines and blood tests.
Flower came in riddled with fleas and worms. I am having to Revolution Plus all the cats in this house. I have not had to deal with fleas in over a decade. The Revolution Plus is costing about $110 a month. That is an extra expensive I never expected and did not have prior to helping Flower.
The vet office always asks if we were using flea medication. I always said no. None of my house cats ever had fleas. The vet office checks them for fleas. They have none. They don’t go outside. Since Flower brought in fleas and worms, I now must treat everyone.
We are all struggling with the cost of living right now. While I will gladly provide everything for my cats that they need, the donations have been helpful in covering these extra expenses.
I had to get screens to screen off areas for Flower. I got baby food to administer her medication. She has her own blankets and toys. She needed some accessibility items like pet steps and elevated food and water bowls.
The pet community on social media has been generous with time and resources in helping me through this challenging time. I am trying to keep everyone safe and make good choices for everyone involved. When Flower leaves me and goes to her forever home, it truly needs to be her forever home. This cat already has severe PTSD. If she is adopted and returned, she will be even more traumatized. To be honest, if that happened, she may need to be euthanized at that point. I truly do not think this cat can handle any more trauma than she already has.
Flower is a sweetheart. She is gentle and loving. She is still scared of everything. She is attached to me but still has her moments when she hides from me. This is why I say she is not ready for adoption. She needs more confidence. Flower also hides from visitors. If she is adopted now, she will hide for MONTHS. If you work out of the house 8 hours a day, you will basically have a room mate cat you never see. Hopefully you have a camera so you can see if she is limping or not. Otherwise, you will have a traumatized cat who is in pan and not getting any help.
That’s not a life.
I want to set Flower up for success in a forever home. She can’t stay here because she is too stressed with my house cats. I can’t live in a divided house. Asking us to live in a divided house is not fair to any of us. I can’t keep her safe from neighbor attacks if she must be separate. We need to all be together to leave or find safety when they attack. So, she is going to be traumatized being thrown in with my house cats when that happens.
No one will stop the violent neighbors from attacking and physically injuring us. This is the reality in which we live.
I have hope that the right adopter will come along for Flower. Someone who has the time and patience to work with her. Someone who will take the time to get to know me and get to know Flower and when I say, “maybe May” will say, “ok, let’s keep talking and see how she is doing.”
People like the idea of Flower, but when I give detail of her medical needs and behavior, they realize they can’t handle her. That’s ok. I appreciate the honesty. Flower needs a good match. Flower needs to be the only pet in a home with an experience cat person. The person should be retired or WFH so they can spend the time she needs socializing her. This person needs to be comfortable with the needs of a senior, disabled cat.
Basically, Flower needs a unicorn.
That is exactly what Flower’s forever home Is going to be. A unicorn,
I would keep her, but I have THREE resident cats. I hold out hope that she will stop fearing them and she can just stay here. But based on Flower’s behavior, I can tell you that hope gets smaller each day. Flower would truly flourish in an only pet home. This situation is not sustainable for any of us. It is not fair to any of us either.
For all you keyboard warriors out there – think before you type. Would you say that in person? You know that victim blaming is wrong, yet you do it anyway? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Think about how your actions on the internet are impacting other people. You want Flower adopted before Christmas, only to have someone who doesn’t know her post something about her, and then the foster parent is inundated with abuse requests wanting to use her for target practice? Some Christmas that was.
Yes, Flower needs a forever home. No, she is not ready to leave yet. However, I fully believe her person is out there. Even though she is not ready to leave now, that person will reach out and start to ask questions and get to know both me and Flower so that all three of us can decide together when it is time for Flower to transition homes.
So yes, please keep sharing about Flower. Keep talking about her. Just because Flower is not ready yet, doesn’t mean people should not ask about adopting her. Because her perfect person is out there and will work with us to make the transition happen in the way that’s best for FLOWER.
Even though I have been accused of not being fair to Flower, I have only tried to do what is best for her from day one. I can tell you right now, it would have been a hell of a lot easier for me to just completely ignore her limping back in October. But I didn’t. I trapped her and got her medical care because she was injured. I’m giving her a home when the shelter said they were full and would not help. I’m refusing to euthanize her, when the rest of the world says she should be euthanized. (The vet says there is NO reason to euthanize this cat.) Yet somehow, I’m not being fair?
I’m not a perfect person. I’m just trying to help this injured cat.
Please keep sharing Flower. Her person is out there and will work with us to make it happen.
Happy 13th Birthday, Jude! Today is also Jude’s 11th Gotcha Day. He was adopted on Valentine’s Day when he was two years old. Jude will always be my valentine. He truly took a sad song and made it better.
Jude was with Kitty for the last few years of Kitty’s life. Kitty passed away from cancer shortly before age 19. I had told Jude that he was going to be an only child. But he acted like he was lonely, so almost a year after Kitty passed away, Jude did get a sibling when I adopted Simon.
Jude is Lead Coworker in our house. After seeing me through my master’s degree years ago, he knows how to be the perfect coworker. There is a cat bed in front of a window right next to my workstation. It is one of Jude’s favorite places to be. He typically spends at least half the workday, if not more, performing his Lead Coworker duties.
He is the first cat that I was able to carrier train, and It was completely on accident. Jude is VERY food motivated. Kitty was a slow eater in the last few years of his life. I started feeding Jude and Kitty both in their carriers so that Jude was not able to steal Kitty’s food and Kitty could take his time eating. Jude has been carrier trained ever since. It comes in handy when it is time to take him in for vet visits and for emergencies like last year’s tornado.
While not a snuggle bug like Simon, Jude does get along well with both Simon and Jolene. You often see Jude grooming his siblings and being groomed in return. Jude also plays with Simon. He thinks about playing with Jolene but then thinks twice about it. Jude is more likely to cuddle Jolene than he is to play with her. Jolene is in charge.
Jude pretty much dictates meal times and often ropes in Simon and Jolene to beg for food with him. He makes sure everyone gets plenty of treats.
When he is not working, Jude’s favorite place to sleep is on my bed. He sleeps in the bed with me every night. All the cats do. Jude also sleeps on the bed during the day. He has always liked to be on the bed.
As Jude ages, he is having some mobility challenges and signs of dementia. He is still strong in both mind and spirit. You know when Jude wants something! He is starting to struggle with stairs and sometimes with jumping. We do have pet steps to help.
The water bowls are all elevated for orthopedic reasons. Jude is the one of the three that does the best job of using the elevated bowls properly. He sits in front of the water station and has his drink of water. Simon and Jolene seem to be confused by elevated water bowls and climb up on the shelf to drink the water. The shelf helps Jude access water with his mobility.
As Jude has gotten older, he has become more loving. Jude was always a cat that preferred to sit next to you, not directly on your lap. In the past year or two, Jude has started to sit on my lap. However, he is very specific about his lap sitting. If I move at all, he is gone!
Jude does not like riding in the car and screams all the way to and from the vet office. Once at the vet office, he is fine. He just does not like to travel. I always tell any new vet techs that if they offer Jude food, he will be their new best friend. He is very highly food motivated.
Jude has been with me a long time through many ups and downs. He came into my life when I was having a very challenging time and made it better. He has always been here for me. I love Jude so much. He is such an inspiration and a great leader for our family.
Happy 13th Birthday, Jude! You will always be my valentine.
Jolene transporting her favorite stuffy, ghost bear. Ghost bear is moved daily.
It was 5 years ago today, on January 14, 2020 that Jolene came home from the shelter and joined our family. She has now officially been a member of our family longer than she was homeless. Jolene was 5 years old whe I adopted her. She had been found dumped in a box with her kittens. Of course, all her kittens were adopted first. Then Jolene picked me out when I was at the shelter looking for a cat friendly DOG.
Jolene is the Queen of our house and livened things up when she arrived. I never though life was boring, but when you compare life from before Jolene to life with Jolene – life before Jolene was boring.
Jolene gets both Jude and Simon to play in ways that they did not play prior to her arrival. Jude and Simon did play with each other. However, with Jolene around, they play much more. Simon loves playing with Jolene. They play quite frequently throughout the day. They love chasing each other up and down stairs and wrestling.
Jude prefers to play by himself. However, I have noticed that Jude plays more frequently since Jolene arrived. It’s almost like Jolene has given the boys” permission” to be playful.
Jolene moves stuffies around. Her favorite stuffies, ghost bear and carrot, are moved daily. She has to be sure that her stuffies are where she wants them before bed. She loves the cacti scratching posts and can frequently be found climbing them as well.
Jolene is our Lead Hedgewatch-er. She knows everything that is going on inside the house and outside. She keeps a diligent eye on all the birds, squirrels, outside cats and neighbors. She goes to the basement with me every morning to check the live traps for mice. If there is a mouse in the live trap, she bats the tube to bring it to my attention that a mouse needs to be released outside.
I always had boys cats prior to Jolene. She is my first girl and has my girl baby name. I could not ask for a more perfect daughter. She brings so much life and love to our lives.
She does coworker shifts with me during the day, sitting in my lap while I work. She sleeps with me every single night. She cuddles and cleans both Jude and Simon.
Jude is the oldest of the three. He likes to think he is in charge. Jolene is the one in charge. Jude does not play with Jolene very often. He thinks about it, then thinks better of it. Jolene is a lot smaller than Jude, but she is in charge and does not put up with his crap. Jolene gives Jude a look and Jude backs down.
Simon is the youngest of the three. Sometimes Jolene does treat him like a kitten. I did see her once grab the back of his neck like a kitten and try to drag him. She did not get very far, as Simon is so much bigger than she is. But Jolene does treat Simon like a kitten sometimes. She cuddles him like a kitten when they sleep on bed with me at night.
Everyone who has met Jolene loves her. She comes out of the box at the vet office with confidence. She acts like she owns the place! Jolene is very particular on what she likes and doesn’t like. If you do something she doesn’t like, I call her Miss Sassy Pants. She makes it known when she doesn’t like something.
Jolene is the life and the love of our lives. She makes this house a home. I am very fortunate in that I have a bonded trio. Both the boys love Jolene to pieces. We are so lucky she picked me out that day at the shelter.
Happy Gotcha Day, Jolene! We are so happy to have you as part of our family!
rewindliveslow 