My Quarantine Life: Week 110

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

It is week 110 and I am still in medical isolation. At this point, I do not think the pandemic will end. We will not achieve herd immunity. It is survival of the fittest. Being a person with a compromised immune system who is at high risk of death if I catch COVID, at this point my only wish is to outlive my cats.

The most difficult challenge in all of this is lack of healthcare. Routine healthcare is not available as the health system is too overwhelmed with COVID. When you do go to a medical office, you are exposed to COVID by COVID-positive staff. It is a game of how much pain can you handle and how long can you go without access to healthcare. Even emergency healthcare has a wait that is weeks long. Last fall, I had to wait 3 weeks for emergency surgery. Of course, once I had the surgery after the 3 week wait, things were more dire than they would have been if I had received same day surgery. They did tell me that if we were not in a pandemic, the surgery would have been same day and it would not have been as big of a deal as it was after the 3 week wait.

This time last year, I lost my job. I am so grateful that I have a job now that is 100% remote. Even though the job I have now is very stressful, I cannot tell you how grateful I am to be a completely remote worker. My medical isolation is only broken for medical care for me and for the cats. It is broken when I have work done on the car (twice a year) and when I need to have workers in the house.

Last year shortly after I lost my job, my hot water heater went. I was able to get workers in the house to install a new hot water heater.

About two weeks ago, the new hot water heater broke. I have no idea what is wrong with it. We have no hot water. Plumbers and other service people are only able to respond to emergency calls right now, as everyone is so overwhelmed with COVID. Hot water is not an emergency, so we have no hot water. We are hoping that we will be able to have a worker come this fall to fix the hot water heater before the winter. Hot water is not an emergency, but heating is an emergency. We will have to have the furnace maintained this fall. I am hoping to have someone come to the house who can service the furnace and fix the hot water heater both. For now, we are on a waiting list for plumbing service to fix the hot water heater.

I have been heating water on my stove to use for bathing and washing dishes. Thankfully, I do not need to shower every day. I have been using my shower chair and taking bucket baths. They are very soothing and I have actually been sleeping better at night. I don’t mind, really. Hopefully I am using less water by taking bucket baths instead of taking a shower. I just cannot bring myself to take a shower in cold water. I heat water on the stove, and that is the amount of water I have for bathing.

Thankfully, I am still shaving my head in year 3 of the pandemic. Of course, I don’t have access to anyone to be able to cut it for me. It’s just easier for me to shave it myself. It is easier for me to maintain. A shaved head is also easier for me to maintain personal hygiene. Now being without hot water, a shaved head is easier for bathing.

When I filed my taxes this year, I had to return the $1400 “stimulus” the government gave us last year under Biden. That hurt. No, I did not pay taxes on it. The IRS actually made me return the entire $1400 amount. Apparently, if you make less than $40,000 per year, that “stimulus” was a loan and not a gift. I got a letter from the IRS stating that my refund was reduced by $1400 because I was required to pay back the stimulus to the government. My tax refund this year was $187. That was enough to cover my birthday splurge of purchasing the robot vacuum cleaner.

This week I received a notice that I will be losing my health insurance soon. Biden has decided the pandemic is over, so they are canceling the health insurance for over 15 million Americans who have disabilities and/or are low-income. I am one of them. 

I’m not sure what I am going to do without health insurance. There is a health plan offered through my new job, but it is very expensive and the deductible is equivalent to half my annual income. I cannot afford to pay 75% of my income in healthcare. 

I am good about pinching pennies, but there is no way I can afford to live off of only 25% of my income and have no savings. Our student loans are due to enter repayment as well. I did receive a letter from the government stating that I am one of the people whose student loan forgiveness is messed up. 

I will be entering year 26 of student loan repayment. I am in the low-income repayment plan and also the public service repayment plans. For some reason, I don’t qualify for forgiveness so I am required to continue to pay until I die. It’s indentured servitude. Even a mortgage payment ends after 30 years. Student loan payments have no end. Entering year 26 of student loan payments, I am expecting to continue to pay on these for 40 or even 50 years or more. I will just keep paying until I die because there is no forgiveness.

Many people point fingers and say it is my own fault for taking out the student loans. I took out student loans because I was promised that a good education would enable me to get a good paying job to pay back the student loans. Wages are low in America. I’m not sure how anyone pays back their student loans unless they are living rent-free in their parent’s basement or come from a background of wealth.

I am still alive. I am still surviving. My only objective is to outlive the cats. I am struggling to come up with a plan to care for them in the event that I die first. That is my greatest worry. 

We are all together. We are happy and healthy. That is what is most important in life. We are truly blessed. 

Signature Scent

/ rachelgoes262 / 2 Comments

Some people have a signature scent – that one smell that defines them. Marilyn Monroe was said to have worn Chanel no 5. Chanel no 5 is a signature scent for many. I have never had a signature scent per se. I have scents that remind me of certain life events.

As a child growing up in the 1980s, many of the scents of my childhood come from Avon.  In addition to Avon, I remember scents such as Revlon’s Fire & Ice, Debbie Gibson’s Electric Youth, and Exclamation. I specifically remember my grandmother wearing Avon’s Far Away perfume.  I wore it to my grandfather’s funeral.

When I started college in the mid-1990s, I remember receiving a box of promotional toiletry items. They were trying to market directly to college students. In the box was a tiny, tiny bottle of Tommy Girl perfume. The sample size of the perfume was maybe .03 oz. Tommy Girl was my “going out” perfume. I only wore it when we went dancing at the club or out to a party. 

Tommy Girl was a perfume that was way out of my price range, so I cherished that small sample as long as it lasted. Scents that were more in my price range, although still expensive splurges was the Victoria’s Secret line of fragrances. Victoria’s Secret Angel perfume was my race weekend perfume. It reminds me of Philly and of other big cities. I wore it whenever I went out in the cities. After Angel, the scent was Bombshell. Bombshell felt a little more risqué than Angel. Most recently, my scent was Aqua Kiss. Aqua Kiss was the perfume I would wear to church on Sundays. It is a crisp, clean scent that felt perfect for church on a respectable, clean Sunday. 

While all of these scents remind me of certain events, I did not get much use out of them. Many of the places I have worked over the years have scent-free policies due to people’s allergies. As someone with multiple food, medication and vaccine allergies myself, I am more than happy to comply with requirements that reduce people’s exposures to their allergens. With that, perfume is something that has always been worn for a special occasion. Not to mention, perfume is expensive. I simply did not have the funds to wear perfume every day and to buy it continuously.

Flash forward to a global pandemic. I still had all three Victoria’s Secret perfumes – Angel, Bombshell and Aqua Kiss. They were all smelling pretty putrid at this point due to age. Yes, perfumes do expire and get to a point when they no longer smell pleasant. Due to the global pandemic, I no longer travel or go out. What is the point in having a marathon perfume if I cannot travel to a large city to run a marathon?

Many people with COVID experience loss of smell and/or taste. I know someone who has lost their sense of smell due to COVID. This person was lamenting the fact that they can no longer smell their favorite perfume. 

That got me to thinking about signature scents. While I have a rather long list of perfumes that evoke memories of places, people and times, I do not have one signature scent that defines my life. In addition, perfume has always been a luxury item for me. Even with the Victoria’s Secret scents, I have never had the actual perfume. I have always had the spritzers that are a watered down version of the actual perfume that often go on sale such as two for $20 or something like that.

Life is short. Life is even shorter when you are living in a global pandemic. I decided if I did get COVID and survive, I would not want to be like the person lamenting their loss of smell that they could no longer smell their perfume. I want to have a signature scent that defines me. I want to be able to smell that scent now before I either die or lose my sense of smell.

Last fall when I ran my two half marathons, I decided to do something I have never done before. I purchased perfume. I’m talking actual perfume, not a spritzer and not some designer imposters knock off. I researched scents to see which one I thought I wanted to smell like. 

I ordered one. I have never paid so much for perfume in my life. I will admit that the price was completely ridiculous. However, I decided I want the experience of a signature perfume once before I die. Gone are the old Victoria’s Secret spritzers that now smell putrid due to old age. I am not going to have 3 or 4 spritzers lying around.

The signature scent I chose is Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle. I bought the smallest size bottle of the actual perfume. I love it. I wear it everyday. I’m still in medical isolation, so no one else smells me. That’s okay. I smell it. I enjoy it. I can now say I have a signature scent. I have one bottle of perfume. That is my scent. 

When I was little, I remember sitting in front of my grandmother’s dresser in her trailer and it was littered with perfume bottles. She often had 3-4 different scents from Avon. Every time a new scent came out from Avon, she had to have it. As she got older, I tend to think of Far Away as her signature scent, as that was the one she used most often. However, I do not want to be like my grandmother and have a dresser littered with perfume bottles that may evoke a memory here and there, but essentially mean nothing. Truly, they were just clutter in pretty bottles. 

I want to have one scent that I remember and that people remember me by. Yes, I paid a fortune for a tiny bottle. When you think about it, buying 3-4 knock off spritzers probably equal the price I paid for one small bottle of genuine perfume. Technically, the perfume I chose is marketed to women much younger than me. I don’t care. I enjoy the scent. So even though I may be too old for Coco Mademoiselle, that is the scent I have chosen to be mine.

Do you have a signature scent? Do you prefer to have an array of scents from which to choose? I chose to have one signature scent from now until when I die. I no longer want to have 3-4 spritzers floating around as clutter that have no meaning. I will use this one perfume until the bottle is empty, and then I will buy another bottle. I am not going to just buy another or a different perfume due to whimsy. I have one perfume I am going to use until it is gone. 

Using a perfume until it is gone is a novel idea as well. I have always had to throw perfume spritzers away because they went putrid from old age. I have never had a perfume where I used the entire thing until it was gone. The only exception is that tiny .03 oz sample of Tommy Girl perfume sample. 

Chanel Coco Mademoiselle is my scent now and I love it. I can now say I have the experience of having a signature scent. I may still be working class, but I smell like something more. It was my one big splurge last fall. 

Tech Minimalism

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment
Simon in his superhero cape

Most of my technology hails from the mid-2000s. My running IPod is from 2007. My laptop is from 2009. I still have the original IPhone only because of the pictures that are on it. In 2018, I purchased a Chromebook for $125 so that I would have something more modern to go on the internet and work on my blog.

None of this antiquated technology was a problem until I lost my job last year in the middle of a global pandemic. If you want to know how essential technology is to day-to-day life and to survival, that was my wakeup call.

When I completed grad school in 2015, I backed away from technology and things online. After 25 years as a professional college student and constantly being online, I needed a break. In 2015, I did not just downsize my digital footprint – I deleted it. 

I deleted my Facebook profile in 2015 and have not looked back. It was the best move for my mental health. I was not sure if the move would be temporary or permanent, but now in year 6, I am happy to announce that it is permanent. You can read a year without Facebook, two years without Facebook, 3 years without Facebook, 4 years without Facebook and 5 years without Facebook to follow that journey. 

Flash forward to 2022. We are living in a global pandemic. I have lost my family and many friends to COVID-19. I can literally count on one hand the people I knew before the pandemic who are still alive today. That is not an exaggeration. I am on year 3 of medical isolation as an immune compromised person who has a high risk of death if I get COVID. I am completely a 100% remote worker for as long as I have my current job, which I am hoping to hold until retirement. I found my dream job (part two).

Now that I am back online in a huge way, it is time to evaluate my digital footprint so that I do not reach the point I was at in 2015 when I had to completely unplug.

First of all – hello, internet. It’s me again.

Social Media

My social media consists of this blog, which I started in 2015 (the same year I deleted my Facebook). I have since added a Twitter account. Twitter is one of the best things I have done in a long time. I have made many new friends all over the world. It’s lonely living in a pandemic when everyone you know and love has died. I have made some amazing friendships on Twitter. I am so grateful for that platform.

Actually, I should clarify. My cats have made a lot of friends on Twitter. They are more popular than I am. Seriously, though, the cats are the highlight of my life and my reason for living, so who wouldn’t love them?

Social media – blog and Twitter. That is all of the social media I can handle. That is okay. I have people I can talk to and reach out to if I need so that I do not feel so alone.

Hardware

Now when it comes to the actual technology of it all – the hardware and software – I struggled last year when I lost my job. The technology I have did not always meet the technology requirements for jobs I was looking at applying. Luckily, I was able to find employment with the technology I have. One of my jobs actually provided me with all of the technology I need to perform that job. 

However, now that we are in a global pandemic and technology is literally a lifeline, I do not want to be in that position again. For example, last spring, I had to fire up the 2009 laptop to update my resume because it was the only thing with word. However, that laptop is way too old and outdated to go on the internet. I had to save my updated resume on a thumb drive, then access that thumb drive from my Chromebook, which was new enough to go on the internet.

Many jobs I was looking at applying specifically stated you could not use a Chromebook to do the work. My Macbook was too old to go on the internet anymore. I did apply for some jobs using just my phone, but that was low paying gig work. 

I did update my cell phone just before the pandemic. I typically change cell phones every 4-5 years. It all depends on when they start to break. In fall 2019, my cell phone was starting to break after 4 years. So, I do have a new cell phone. 

However, the whole decade old Macbook, thumb drives, Chromebook routine got old really quick. I need updated technology. I need to be able to have one cell phone and one laptop that can do it all. I also received a message that my Chromebook is basically going to be a paperweight after June of this year. Chromebooks are only made to last for so many years and apparently this spring is when mine will stop working.

I have been saving money this past year since finding my new job to update my tech equipment. I bought a new laptop.

I am now in the process of migrating everything from my old technology to my new laptop so that I can achieve my one cell phone / one laptop goal. Once I have things migrated, all of my old technology will be wiped and recycled. 

The hardware goal is one cell phone and one laptop. When I put all of my technology in one place this winter, I saw that I had 4 boxes of technology hardware. That’s right. Four boxes. What do I have? I have a broken DVD player, broken CD players, old cell phones, a 13 year-old Macbook, the Chromebook, and a -ahem – potentially 15 year old windows laptop.

When I’m done with all my migrating, wiping and recycling, the goal is one cell phone and one laptop. I do not need four boxes of technology hardware.

I made sure I have word on the new laptop so that I no longer have to rely on the 13 year-old Macbook for that. 

As far as my digital footprint, I have documents and photos. Almost all of my documents and photos are stored in the cloud. However, I like to have things stored in two or more places in case one storage place fails. All of the old technology hardware in my house is the second storage location.

Over the next several weeks, I need to migrate the photos off the 13 year-old Macbook onto my new one. I need to migrate the photos off my original IPhone onto my new Macbook. 

I have two old IPods and a brand new mp3 player that I cannot figure out to save my life. I need to figure out how to have one item to listen to music when I run. Both IPods still work great with the exception of battery life. My running pod (an original IPod shuffle from 2007) seems to have an extremely short battery life now.

Somehow in the past 10 years I ended up with all of this technology clutter. In the future, I will save things in 2 or more places and try to update my technology once it becomes obsolete. I think what happened was that in 2015, I completely dropped out of the digital life. All of this technology stuff just piled up. Then with the pandemic, I was suddenly and unexpectedly thrown back online again.

Conclusions

So, hello internet. It’s me again. I’m back.

The next few weeks and months I will be migrating, wiping and recycling all my old technology to reach my one cell phone and one laptop goal. My new laptop can do everything that I was previously using at least three other tech devices to do. My new laptop is new enough that I could apply for pretty much any remote job I wanted if I needed to now. Hopefully, that won’t be necessary. My goal is to stay at my current job until retirement. 

How much technology hardware is in your house? If you put all of your laptops, cell phones, cords, etc, in a pile, how much would you have? By the way, I found 5 house phones, almost 10 landline phone cords, and multiple internet cords in my search. I am keeping two of each. I am one person with one phone. I do not need 10 telephone cords. I will keep two in case one breaks so that I have a backup.My goal is to get all of this technology migrated and downsized so that I can focus my online activities on what I like to do – working on this blog and interacting with our Twitter friends.

The 3 Deaths

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

IMG-4152

The theory of the 3 deaths has been attributed to multiple sources. Typically, if an idea can be traced back to three or more sources, it is considered to be common knowledge. The first death occurs when the body stops functioning. The second death occurs when your body enters the grave, by burial or cremation. The third death is the moment when your name is spoken for the last time.

If Kip was still alive, today would be his 23rd birthday. Kip and Kitty are still both alive today because I keep their memories alive. While they have both experienced deaths one and two, they have not yet experienced death three. I have a feeling that when I die is when they will experience the third death. There won’t be anyone left to remember them. There will be no one left who still loves them.

My goal right now is to outlive Jude, Simon and Jolene so that I can keep them together. I worry about what would happen to them if something happens to me. They know their names. They know who they are. I know all their likes, dislikes and quirks. 

In addition to taking care of Jude, Simon and Jolene, I keep the memories of Kip and Kitty alive by still loving them. When I die, they will die with me. My purpose in life is my cats. 

There have been cats and humans throughout time. Many have been lost to history. Millions have experienced all three deaths. Yet in this period of time, I have loved and saved five lives. I am caring for the three I have now. The two I have lost are still loved in memory.

I don’t worry about experiencing the 3 deaths myself. My life has not been memorable for anyone but me. I just worry about what happens to the cats without me. 

Maybe it’s presumptuous to think I am so important in their lives. If I am gone, they will be rehomed and their lives will go on, right? I love them so much I just want the best for them.

Today I am remembering Kip on what would have been his birthday. I am also remembering Kitty, who is in my heart also. They have not yet experienced the third death because my love keeps their memories alive. 

Tales from my Surfboard Part 7: Lake in Winter

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

IMG-4092

It wasn’t always me going back to Massachusetts. Sometimes Lily came to New York to see me. The biggest difference was that Massachusetts tends to be more accepting than New York. New York is extremely conservative in comparison to Mass. 

Many people may wonder why we didn’t just choose – Massachusetts or New York? Pick a location and move in together. We had that conversation many times over the years. In the end, I think we were both scared. Lily was afraid to give up her life and family in Mass to come to more conservative New York where we would both struggle and everything feels so precarious. I was in New York for a specific purpose – education – and it took me a lot longer to reach my goals than anticipated because life happens. In the end, it came down to fear and economics on my end. I could not afford to live in Mass and I didn’t want to be in a position of living with someone if I was not able to pull my own weight.

Probably our biggest experiment in this dilemma was the year when Lily rented a house on Cayuga Lake here in New York for 5 months of the winter. It was the off-season for Lily at work, so the only thing she was technically leaving behind was her family. She did travel back to see them. 

The house was a fully furnished rental that was someone’s lake house. The rental was reasonable in the off season. It was on a seasonal road that was never plowed and when not blocked by snow, was often blocked by trains passing. It was directly on the lake and had a gorgeous sliding glass door that opened directly onto the dock of the water.

There was a canoe and other boat apparatus at the cottage that we used on the water. Lily made sure to teach me that the water and the lake was beautiful, even in winter. 

Perhaps the water was even more beautiful then. Whenever a storm came up the coast, it produced good wake. We put on wet suits to help protect against the cold and even took our shortboards out on the waves. 

Cayuga Lake is inland, so the wake is not as good as the ocean. Winter waves move slow, small and lazy. We were were able to catch some. We also took the surfboards up to Great Lake Ontario. There the waves were better – more comparable to the ocean on a good day. 

Lily was able to find some temporary odd jobs to do while she was in the cottage in New York. I was working full time and going to school, so of course we could not spend every minute together. The experiment was to see if Lily would be interested in moving to New York to be with me permanently. 

Having Lily in Ithaca for 5 months allowed me to see the city through her eyes. It was like playing tourist in your own city. We went places and did things that I never would have seen or done alone. I remember we got to see Rusted Root in concert at The Haunt. Rusted Root was the band who did my graduation song. When I graduated from high school, we were the last graduating class allowed to have a song. When our song played, we all stood up, hugged each other, and shook hands. When the song ended, we sat back down. The administration said we were “disruptive,” so no graduating class has been able to have a song since unless it is an original song made by a member of the graduating class. 

Lily and I saw Rusted Root in concert. We visited the wineries and attended many plays of live theatre. We spent time together and Lily helped me to fall in love with the beautiful Finger Lakes region all over again. 

Sunday mornings we would wake up lazily. I remember sitting in an overstuffed recliner right by the sliding glass door with a good cup of coffee watching the snow fall gently on the lake. Lily helped to open my eyes to good coffee and taught me that life is too short to drink the cheap stuff. Go for the gourmet coffee, you will be happier for it. It is the small indulgences in life that matter the most.

Saturday evenings I would arrive at the cottage after work. We would walk the dog (Lily had a dog then), and play some flag football in the yard. Well, as much flag football as two people and a dog can play. 

At the end of the 5 month rental, I remember Lily saying that it was a beautiful area and that she loved it. New York was not for her. It is too conservative and stifling here. She went back to Massachusetts. 

Well, we can say we tried. 

On my end, I was even more in love with the natural beauty of the area despite all of the challenges of living here. Lily taught me to love the lake in winter. Sometimes the lake is more beautiful in winter than it is in summer. Winter is not something to be feared, but to be embraced. It has a beauty just as brilliant as the summer, even if in a different way.

Stay tuned for more Tales from my Surfboard … telling stories of lives of loved ones lost to COVID. 

The Great Clean Out

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

IMG-4102

When I bought this house 3.5 years ago, the gentleman who owned it had passed away after living here for 60 years. His family cleaned out his personal effects, but there was a lot left in this house when I bought it and moved in. 

Over the years, I have been gradually going through what was left in this house in addition to my own minimizing and downsizing. I have recycled and donated as much as I can. Some of the items were quite interesting. For example, I donated a 1940s era fire alarm to the Historic Society. There were a few other historic items donated also.

I finally came down to the point where everything that could be donated, recycled, or reused had been. All that was left was junk. There were old tools that were rusted and that no one would want or use because we now have power tools to replace the old hand tools. There were old tools from the days when Americans would travel by horse and buggy before there were cars. This house was built in 1911. There was just a lot of stuff.

Winter is typically the time I declutter and work on all my indoor house projects. In the spring and summer, I donated everything. I took a week off for my birthday to complete my house projects.

This week I hired someone to come get all the junk. I was looking at renting a dumpster, but did not want all of this stuff to end up in a landfill. Instead, I hired a small family business who came and picked up everything. They will try to recycle things as much as possible in ways I simply could not recycle them. For example, they have a way to recycle all the metal that I simply don’t have access to. I’m not sure exactly what recycling metal is all about, but I know that they are going to try to recycle the items as much as possible to keep them out of the landfill. That makes me feel so much better than if I had simply put everything in a dumpster.

This week, all the junk left as part of the great cleanout. Everything else that is left in this house, I can either donate, recycle, or dispose of one by one if needed. All the junk is currently gone unless something happens to break beyond repair.

I am getting ruthless on cleaning out this house for a few reasons. First, someone is going to have to clean out the house when I die. I don’t wish that chore on anyone. I am trying to make the house as easy to clean out as possible when I die. 

Second, on a more positive note, if I am able to survive the pandemic and outlive the cats, I want to leave the country. It is going to be easier for me to leave the country with less items. I am downsizing with the idea that I am going to leave the country. 

Third, this house is difficult for me to handle. The more stuff I can get rid of, the easier it will be for me to take care of the house. My true goal is to get everything onto the first floor of the house, but with the bathroom and my office on the second floor, I don’t really see that happening. I’m doing what I can to decrease my possessions as much as possible.

All that stuff that we keep “for an emergency?” The emergency is now. We are living it. If a global pandemic and what looks to be World War Three is not an emergency, I don’t know what is. If you haven’t used something over the past 3 years, you aren’t going to need it. We are living the emergency now. Get rid of it. Only keep what you need and what truly makes you happy. 

As spring approaches, I am winding down on my decluttering project for this season. With the exception of some ongoing projects (like my CDs), I tend to take a break of several months once the weather cooperates to be outside. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. I have things to do other than declutter and maintain my home.

I feel so much lighter now that the great clean out has occurred. All of the items in my garage and basement are items I use and need for the house. All of the rusted metal and weird horse and buggy items are gone. I am still on my minimalist journey, but with this clean out have made significant progress. 

Will Run for Peace

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

IMG-4127

Ukrainian President Zelensky announced that if anyone wanted to go to Ukraine to help them fight, they would give you arms. I would love to go. The only things preventing me from going are my cats and the fear that they would not take me to fight in Ukraine.

Ukraine is worth fighting for. Their freedom is worth fighting for. Would I fight for America? No, I would not. America is not worth fighting for anymore. America put me on their euthanasia list.

Both the President and the CDC say that I am they type of person that should die in the pandemic. They want me to die. As part of the vaccine mandate, there was a euthanasia plan for those medically unable to be vaccinated. My euthanasia appointment was immediately canceled as soon as the Supreme Cout struck down the vaccine mandate. The hospital told me that as medical professionals, their first duty is to “do no harm,” and they did not want to euthanize anyone if they were not mandated by politics.

In America, I am condemned to die. In addition to the euthanasia list, we have not had a single mask mandate or lockdown. America is trying to make our COVID death toll as high as possible. I don’t want to die of COVID. I would rather die fighting for something in which I believe. I would rather die fighting for Ukraine. Those people deserve freedom.

I try not to get political on this blog, but it is hard with the times in which we are living. However, it’s a wonder Putin does not have the chutzpah to invade the USA. If the USA was invaded, I would not fight. A country that has condemned me to death for my medical conditions is not worth fighting for. If we were invaded, I would surrender. The healthcare as a POW would be a significant improvement over American healthcare. It would be free.  

Healthcare in America is not accessible. It is not affordable. Whether you realize it or not, as soon as the USA declares the pandemic over or downgrades it to an endemic, millions of Americans will lose their healthcare coverage. We will all be back to paying for healthcare 100% out of pocket. We will continue to die because we cannot afford basic care we need.

My life goal is to leave the USA once the cats are gone. If I could figure out how to leave sooner and take the cats with me, I would leave in a heartbeat. I am 100% willing to relinquish my American citizenship to leave the country. 

Immigration to other countries is impossible for low-income Americans. The immigration regulations for American citizens moving to other countries is strict because other countries know we are leaving because we don’t have access to healthcare here. We can’t afford healthcare. I would love to be able to access the NHS or any other functioning health system. As I stated earlier, even healthcare as a POW would be better than what we have available in the USA.

I digress.

I want to help Ukraine. They are worth fighting for. Since I can’t take my cats to a war zone, I need to come up with something else. So, I’m going to do the only thing I know how to do.

I will run for peace.

I have registered for a virtual half marathon this spring benefitting UnitedHelpUkraine.org. This non-profit organization helps provide medical supplies to Ukraine. 

I am a fall racer. I don’t typically run spring races, but when I do, it’s a charity race.

Medal # 21 will be arriving this spring as I prepare for another half marathon. Please consider a donation to UnitedHelpUkraine.org to support my efforts and assist the people of Ukraine.

Ukraine is worth fighting for. Their people did not ask for this. If I did not have 3 cats depending on me, I would volunteer to go fight. I doubt they would accept me, since I am on the American euthanasia list. Or maybe they would, since the USA wants me to die anyway. However, my cats are my only family. I can’t abandon them to fight.

So I will run. I will run for peace. Here comes another half marathon training. This one is for Ukraine.

My Quarantine Life: Week 102

/ rachelgoes262 / 2 Comments

IMG-3789

In a few weeks, I will be entering year 3 of shielding (as my friends across the pond call it). I am in the immune compromised / vulnerable group that the CDC and US President have both said “deserves to die” in the pandemic. The only time I am indoors with other humans is for medical.

While the government may say and think that my life is worthless, I am still here. I am still alive. I am very happy to be alive. My goal is to outlive the cats so that I can keep them together and take care of them.

Things here have been busy. In 2022, I have saved two lives. That’s a story for another blog post. However, even though I’ve saved two other lives in the first two months of 2022 alone (let’s not count the hundreds others I’ve saved previously), the US government still calls me “worthless.”

I digress.

Week 102 of my quarantine life, I am happy to announce that I finally replaced the vacuum cleaner that broke last year. I was unemployed for a few months, then trying to save money for a new vacuum, then waiting for the January home sales.

World, meet Frankie. Frankie is our robot vacuum that is now helping me clean. Purchasing a robot vacuum is one of the best purchases I have made in a very long time. 

The robot is incredibly smart. It goes around the cats when they refuse to move without bumping into them or running them over. It does an amazing job of cleaning. I can get all windows and surfaces clean while the robot is busy cleaning the floor.

I am so grateful for the robot vacuum, that I applaud it’s work every time it returns to its home docking station after it’s done working. Literally. I clap for the robot and thank it.

There was a news story a few weeks ago about a robot vacuum at a hotel in the UK that left the hotel. It went out the front door and just left. A gardener found it underneath a bush outside the hotel. I’m not sure if the robot got fed up with it’s job of vacuuming the hotel or if it just needed a change of scenery. However, I don’t want my robot to “escape,” so I applaud it’s work every time it’s done so that it knows I am grateful for the help.

The cats tolerate the robot vacuum much better than the traditional vacuum. Jolene is the only cat who is completely fine with any vacuum. Jude and Simon are both terrified of vacuums. Jude, however, tolerates Frankie. Simon does not hide when Frankie is working, which is a huge improvement. 

My life is going to be short. There is a very good possibility I will not survive the pandemic. With this in mind, I am so grateful for the luxury of having a robot vacuum to clean the floors for me in my final chapter of life. This robot is making my life so much easier, it is unbelievable.

I would highly recommend a robot vacuum to anyone who is able to afford one. Actually, when I was looking at purchasing a new vacuum, the robot vacuum was $20 cheaper than the traditional models. They are not too expensive if you get a basic or entry-level model. 

Approaching year 3 of quarantine, I am so grateful to still be alive and home with my cats. We are also thankful for our new robot vacuum, Frankie.

Tales from my Surfboard Part 6: The Game

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

IMG-3950

It was spring 2012 and it was Fenway Park’s 100th birthday. I was also turning 33 and hoping to finally see my favorite player, Jason Varitek # 33, at Fenway before he retired. Although I had made the pilgrimage “home” – to Fenway – many times, I had never been to a game. I just didn’t seem to have time or money.

I was in town for the weekend at the end of May for a race. I was scheduled to run Boston’s Run to Remember. I had contacted Lily to see if I could crash with her for race weekend. She was dating someone at the time, so we were “just friends.” I always asked if it was ok for me to show up when she was with someone so that I did not cause issues with her current relationship. If it was going to cause issues, I would just get a hotel room in Southie.

Lily said it was fine. She was working that weekend and they probably wouldn’t be home much that weekend anyways. I had a key to the house. I could crash on the couch and do my thing. Her current girlfriend wouldn’t mind.

On Saturday, I arrived about lunch time to drop off my stuff and park the car. I would take the T into the city to go to the race expo. The race was early Sunday morning. I went into the kitchen to drop my car keys on the table in case Lily needed to move it while I was in the city.

Sitting on the kitchen table was an envelope with my name on it. There was a single ticket to the day’s Red Sox game. I had definitely not been planning on going to a game. I was in town to race. The night before a race I am typically in bed super early. While the ticket was unexpected, I was also excited.

Lily knew I had never been to a game in-person. I was waiting until I turned 33 to see my favorite # 33 player. He had just retired that year, which completely took the wind out of my sails. However, Lily said in her note that she wanted me to be able to see a game at Fenway for the 100th birthday celebration and she did not know when I would be in town again to go. So she left me a ticket to go to the game.

I took the T into Boston and went to the race expo. After the race expo, I went to the game. It was a day long celebration. Before the game, I had lunch at the most amazing sportsbar just outside Fenway. This sportsbar even had TV sets in the restrooms. I could still watch ESPN even while going pee.

I had an amazing time at Fenway at my very first Red Sox game. I felt just like Jimmy Fallon in Fever Pitch with my own Fenway Family.  It would have been even more amazing if Lily could have been there with me. We would often meet at “home” – Fenway Park – in the city. Lily had to work, but we were able to facetime during the 7th inning when she was on a work break.

Of course the Red Sox won. I had the most amazing time of my life. I also had a little too much to drink, but it was Fenway and I was not driving. I rode the T back to the Cape and Lily picked me up at the T station.

I will admit I don’t remember a lot about that night, but Lily and her current girlfriend were still fine with me crashing on the couch the night before the race. They also had a bit of fun with me. When I woke up in th morning for the race, I had a bunch of Red Sox stuff written on me in red sharpie. I did not have enough time before the race to wash it all off. I had woken up late and needed to get to the start line. 

Waking up that morning before the race felt a lot like the scene in Garden State when he wakes up the next morning with stuff written all over him in sharpie. Lily and her current girlfriend took me in to the city and dropped me off near the start line for the race. It was one of the few times I actually had someone there to see me at the starting line for a race. Even though we were not “together” at the time, it was still nice.

That Red Sox game was one of the top highlights of my life. Even though we weren’t together at the time, she still knew me well. She gave me one of the best gifts ever. 

More than the game, thank you for the memories. 

Tales from my Surfboard is a series that remembers lives of people lost to COVID. Stay tuned for another installment … 

My Forever Valentine

/ rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

IMG_3910

Today is Jude’s 10 birthday and also his gotcha day. I adopted him on Valentine’s Day when he was two years old. Jude was seized by the humane society from a hoarding situation. He was found crammed into a tiny trailer with over 30 other cats.

When I adopted Jude, I had been searching for a month for a suitable companion for Kitty. Kitty was distraught about being alone after Kip passed away. Kitty would get so upset about being home alone while I was at work that I would come home to multiple puddles of vomit because he was so upset. Kitty needed a companion.

Kitty was declawed (please don’t judge – it was the 90s when he was declawed and I have not declawed a cat since). Being that Kitty was declawed, he needed a companion who would be gentle with him, as I did not plan on declawing a cat ever again. This meant that Kitty did not have claws to defed himself, but his companion would have claws to potentially harm him. We needed someone with a gentle disposition who would not take that advantage.

A friend of mine had heard about Jude at the shelter. He was friendly with all other cats and was very gentle. He was good about playing with his claws in. He was also quite shy and they were looking for a rather quiet home for him. 

Jude’s name in the shelter was Raymond. Given his story and his shelter name, I knew he was meant to be. Raymond was my grandfather’s name. I had Jude picked out as my baby name for a boy. I always use their shelter names as a middle name. Jude Raymond could not have been more perfect.

I brought Jude home and did the slow introduction process with Kitty. They bonded immediately. It was love at first sight. Jude was indeed very gentle with Kitty. In addition to being declawed, Kitty was a lot older than Jude and was a senior. Jude played with Kitty, but seemed to sense when Kitty was tired and would stop playing. Then they would cuddle.

Even though Kitty was declawed, he taught Jude how to use the cardboard scratcher for his claws. I had bought scratching posts and cardboard scratchers for Jude to use. Kitty would “use” them first and then Jude would mimic him. Jude was a fast learner. Kitty taught him many things.

After Kitty died from cancer, Jude was alone for 6 months. It was just the two of us. I could tell Jude was sad from losing Kitty. We played all the time. Jude was ready for a companion, but it took me longer to be ready to adopt again. 

Then came Simon. Jolene came later. There was supposed to be 2 cats and a dog, not 3 cats, but that is a story for another day. This is Jude’s story.

Jude is an amazing older brother to Simon and Jolene. Jude is the oldest. Now he teaches them everything, just like how Kitty taught him. 

Jude has really come out of his shell since we moved from the apartment to the house. He plays a lot more in the house than he did in the apartment. He still rolls around on the floor. I never knew a cat to just roll around as much as Jude does!

He truly is happy. I’m so lucky to be able to see the wonderful relationship he has with Simon and Jolene. Jude still has some shy tendencies from his days as a stray. He is gentle when he needs to be. Sometimes he does play rough with Simon. 

Jude will always be my Valentine. He was meant to come into my life at the perfect time. He indeed took asad song and made it better.

Happy 10th Birthday, Jude. Happy 8th Gotcha Day. Thank you for being my Forever Valentine.