Last Stray Surviving – Flower’s Story

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This spring, the dog fighting ring amped up their pursuit of Kenny. They came at night quite a few times yelling, “here kitty kitty.” As soon as I turned on lights and went outside, they ran off. Kenny was on a schedule. Since being thrown from a truck last year, Kenny has lived in my garage.

I would see Kenny every morning and night. I would see Kenny playing in the yard during the day. Kenny slept in the insulated cat shelters in my garage at night. Kenny is super friendly and I was certain that when the shelter had space to take one of the strays from me in January, that Kenny would go.

In January, I trapped Tom instead of Kenny. That’s ok. Tom has since been adopted into a loving forever home. He is known as the “King of South Main” as he loves to look out the windows of his home and watch people go by.

Kenny is the friendliest stray that has ever been around here. The shelter has been inundated with kitten season and had no space for Kenny. While waiting for space, I decided to put the extra cat carrier in the garage for Kenny to explore so that when it came time to trap Kenny to take to the shelter, things would go smoothly.

Putting the cat carrier in the garage was a brilliant idea. I was able to just put Kenny in the cat carrier without even using the humane trap. Through the power of Cats of Twitter, I was able to get Kenny to a foster family who is caring for Kenny until adopted into a loving forever home.

Surprise! Kenny is a girl and has been spayed. I thought Kenny was a boy, as there have been no kittens. I was wrong. Kenny is a girl, and they are keeping her name. Kenny is safe in foster awaiting to be adopted. She is safe from the dog fighting ring. Kenny is now the fourth cat I have saved from the dog fighting ring.

That means that the last stray surviving is Flower. Flower is one of my originals that has been here since I bought the house almost five years ago. As soon as the shelter has space, I hope to trap Flower to get her off the streets and away from the dog fighting ring. 

This is Flower’s story. I have pieced it together by talking to neighbors. I always talk to neighbors when I see cats outside to try to ascertain whether they have homes or are truly homeless. 

Flower used to live in the house next to me. She is a spayed female. She has a docked tail. She was named “Mr. Pickle Bottom.” Flower was kicked out of the house next door permanently for “scratching the baby.” For the record, those children probably tortured poor Flower. These are the children who took a screwdriver to my other neighbors steps, causing the neighbor to fall and become injured, spending several months in a physical rehab facility. These are the children who took a baseball bat to the side of my house. I’m sure Flower did not just randomly scratch the baby.

The family that kicked Flower out of the house has since moved. That house is now occupied by the only nice neighbors on the street. 

So, Flower has been on the streets for at least the past 5 years fending for herself. 

Two years ago in the winter, Flower had a broken front arm. Even with a broken arm, I could not catch Flower. The arm healed. Flower still walks and runs with a limp. Flower comes to my garage for food and to sleep in the sun.

Flower is very scared of humans. As soon as I open my door to go outside, Flower runs away. If Flower is in the garage when I take food out, she hides under my car until I leave. The only thing Flower has known from humans is cruelty.

Unlike the four other cats I have caught and gotten to the shelter, Flower is not on a schedule. Sometimes I go two or three days without seeing Flower. She obviously has someplace safe to stay without needing to live in my garage like the other strays have done. 

However, Flower does know my garage is a safe place. She comes for food and water. Sometimes she comes for shelter. Flower does use the insulated cat shelters in the garage. One time when I took food out to the garage, I saw Flower dart out of a cat shelter and hide under my car. 

Many times in the afternoon on my work breaks, I look out the kitchen window and see Flower sunning herself in front of the car just at the garage door. She knows it is a safe place to be where no one will bother her.

There is a neighbor cat, Milo who lives two houses down. Milo is a jerk. I’m pretty sure that Milo is difficult because he has a bad home life. The house where he lives has problems. Milo is an indoor / outdoor cat. He stays in his house in winter and is mostly outside during the summer.

The problem is that Milo bullies Flower. She is terrified of him. If Milo is around, Flower will not come here. 

The cat dynamics were completely different when Tom was here. Tom defended his territory and kept everyone in line. Milo would not come around when Tom was here. Tom got along with Flower and Kenny.  He was protective of them. With Tom gone, there is no one to protect Flower from Milo. If Milo is here, Flower will not come near. She hides in the bushes in front of the house and will not approach the house. 

As soon as the shelter has space, I am hoping to catch Flower to take her in. The challenge is that I have been trapping these cats for five years now, and I have not been able to trap Flower yet. Even when her arm was broken two years ago, I was not able to trap her to get her medical care.

It is easier to trap in winter. Milo stays in his house. The outside strays are more likely to hang around my garage and are easier to trap. I am really hoping to be able to catch Flower sometime this fall or winter. I am really hoping the shelter has space to take her. No cat should have to endure what Flower is living through.

Flower is the last stray surviving in this horrid neighborhood with an active dog fighting ring. The neighbors here are so bad, I must do a bad neighbor disclosure if I sell my house. This is the worst street to live on in our county of 40,000 people. 

My garage is a refuge for Flower and any other cat that needs it. There is fresh food and water daily. There are multiple insulated cat shelters that can be used. The outside cats have been able to survive winter temperatures of -30F by using my shelters. 

I hope I can catch Flower this year and get her into shelter. She deserves to have a human be nice to her at least once in her life. Every cat deserves a loving forever home. 

Race Circuit Retirement

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Now that I have officially earned and achieved 26 medals, I announce my retirement from the competitive marathon circuit. This does NOT mean I will stop running. I will continue to run. I will just no longer race on the competitive circuit to earn medals. 

Plus, I will no longer run marathons. I will keep to distances of 5k or 10k. 

I have been very fortunate to have had a successful 16-year running career. I have qualified for Olympic Trials (but not made the Olympics, obviously). I have represented Team USA in Canada. I have earned a prestigious B.A.A. (Boston Athletic Association) Boston Marathon medal. I have seen many cities across the North American continent by running 26.2 miles through their streets to the cheers of screaming crowds. 

I have run races on my bucket list. I have achieved many goals. While some dreams were realized, others were crushed. It has not been all glory. The marathon teaches you, and sometimes those lessons are through failure and heartbreak.

There have been many race dedications. I have officially had three start line songs. Much as baseball players have walk-up songs when they come up to bat, so do marathon runners have start line songs. For the first half of my running career, it was “Lose Yourself” by Eminem (before it became popular.) For one heartbreaking race, it was “Berzerk” by Eminem. For the second half of my running career, it was “Remember the Name” by Fort Minor. 

After all, not everyone can start to the Rocky theme song. Although, if you run Philly like I have, you will hear it. Guaranteed. You see, Philly is like my first love. Philly was my first half marathon. Then Philly was my first full marathon. You never forget your first. In fact, 8 of my 26 medals come from Philly.

Speaking of Philly, my running tattoo on my right arm is the Philly logo. It has 8 stars. Each star represents one of my Philly medals. I have done the Rocky Run and stood at the top of the art museum steps literally in Sly’s steps, as there are bronze casings in the cement where he stood.

I have raced in wind, rain, snow, and ice. For one race, it was 23F at the start line. It was so cold; the air horn would not work to start the race. They had to get a police officer to discharge his weapon, so we had a shotgun start. Water and Gatorade would immediately freeze if they hit the ground at aide stations. 

I have been quite fortunate through my running career in that I never had a DNF (did not finish). I came very, very close one challenging race, but I DID finish. I did have a few DNS (did not start) due to either finances in being unable to get to the race, injuries, or illnesses. Yet, even with the DNS’s, I managed to bounce back the following season or race. 

You meet the most amazing, incredible people at races. Someone once said, if you want to see the best of humanity, watch a marathon. It is true. From the cheer zones, to the hilarious on course signs, every single person at a marathon is kind. You see people do things you never thought possible, and I’m not just talking about the whole running 26.2 miles part.

While I may have four degrees, I will say that my running career and my 26 medals are what make me the proudest. If anyone asks me what the best thing is I’ve ever done with my life? My first answer will be the cats. My second answer will be my medals. In that exact order.

I retire having achieved the category of Master’s runner. Since I also have a Master’s degree, I guess that makes me a Jill of all trades, master of two? I am retiring at the top of my game, on my own terms. I am not retiring when my health or disability force me. I am fortunate to have been able to continue running through the ongoing pandemic. I am blessed to have reached my goal in achieving 26 medals even with covid all around me. 

Retirement from the professional race circuit, do not mean stop running. I will keep running. But you see, being on the race circuit? I had sponsorships. I had companies who were paying for my race fees and hotel stays so I could race. I was a ranked runner. That is the life I am leaving behind. I am no longer sponsored. I will no longer race or be ranked. I am just going to run For the Love of Running. Honestly, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 16 years, but now I won’t be chasing down the medals.

Running is one of the best ways to explore someplace new. It’s a great way to meet new people. The running community is pretty kind. I am a proud supporter of the Back on My Feet program, that helps homeless people find jobs and housing by engaging them in running programs. 

So, while I am retiring from the race circuit with 26 medals, the running continues. I will continue to lace up and stop out for 3 miles or 6 miles. However, I will no longer toe the start line for races. 

This journey I have been on has been the most incredible of my life. I continue for the love of running. As I have always said, run, walk, crawl or dragged, I will cross the finish line. Rejoice! I have conquered! 

Medal 26

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Rejoice, I have conquered! In May 2023, I have earned medal 26. It was a long, hard road. In April 2023, I developed extreme vertigo and was vomiting blood (don’t worry, the hospital turned me away because they were too full of covid and the doctor said that vomiting blood is not a medical emergency. Their exact phrase was “it’s no big deal.”) However, the vertigo and vomiting were no bad I was unable to work for a week.

I still have vertigo. It is most prevalent when I am laying down and when I move my head in certain ways (regardless of whether I am laying down or up and about). Despite these challenges, I still managed to train for another race. It was only a 10k. I did not feel I had it in me to do a full half marathon and I certainly did not have enough time to train with my health challenges.

For my 26th medal, I ran a race (virtual) that has long been on my bucket list – the Flying Pig. Less than 5% of people will ever attempt a marathon. Many say they will run a marathon “when pigs fly.” The Flying Pig is a marathon that is well known for being beginner and walker friendly. However, I chose Flying Pig for my final race on the competitive race circuit. 

For medal 26, I dedicated my race in memory of Mushu. Mushu was a pug we are friends with on Twitter. Mushu passed away early May. He was one of the kindest pets we know online and brought us joy daily. I am not physically able to handle a dog, which is why I have 3 cats, but lived vicariously through Mushu’s adventures online. We asked all our Twitter friends to honor my race by doing an Act of Kindness in Memory of Mushu.

Every medal has a story and every race there was some obstacle that had to be overcome to reach the finish line. With the Flying Pig, I achieved my goal of 26 medals despite having multiple health challenges slowing me down and throwing me off.

I am very grateful for my 16-year running career through both adversity and triumph. At every finish line, I have been able to proclaim, “Rejoice, I have conquered!” as was said at the very first marathon. 

Minimalism: Like with Like

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A basic tenant of minimalism is to put like with like. For example, if you are working on decluttering or downsizing the number of shoes you own, you should start by gathering all of your shoes together so that you can decide which pairs you are keeping and which pairs are leaving. 

Putting like with like sounds simple. It is deceiving. I’m not going to lie. Putting like with like is HARD. All these minimalism tips tell you to put like with like as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do. It’s not. 

Stuff is everywhere. Your belongings are spread out and scattered all over your living space. It’s supposed to be that way. Homes are meant to be lived in. So telling someone to put like with like may sound simple in theory, but is challenging in practice. Your home is lived in, and your stuff is everywhere. 

Putting like with like may be easier for some items that others. It all depends on the person and your lifestyle. For me, personally, putting all my shoes together was easy. I don’t have many pieces of footwear. They all tend to be in the same area of my house and not spread out. 

This winter when I engage on a major decluttering project of paperwork – that was hard. I have paperwork all over the house. There was paperwork in my office, my kitchen, and at least 2 other rooms in my house. Paperwork ranged from things like appliance manuals to insurance policies to car repair receipts. Stuff was everywhere.

I could have gone through piles of paperwork in each room. Essentially, that’s what I did first. Then, I put all of the paperwork together in one room. That was the hard part. Everything was spread out. As hard as it may be to put like with like, I’m glad I did. I now have my paperwork downsized to one milk crate of papers in one room. That is the extent of my paperwork. It is no longer spread out all over the house.

Having all the paperwork together not only makes it easier for me to find things, it makes it easier for someone else to find things if something happens to me. Have you ever had to go through a loved one’s paperwork after they died? The paperwork is everywhere. You go through piles of stuff trying to figure out what is what. It is a tedious task that no one wants to do after a loved one dies. 

I downsized my paperwork so that anything extraneous was shredded and all necessary papers are together and labeled into categories – medical, insurance, car, house, etc. If something happens to me, I have one milk crate of important papers for you to go through to settle my affairs and shred.

Homes are meant to be lived in. You should have all of your belongings spread out and put in places where they are being used. However, when you are trying to declutter, it is easiest if you can put like with like so that you can see just how much you have. You may say you want to downsize your coffee mugs. Then, when you put them all together and see you have 32 of them, you can set a goal – such as 6 coffee mugs – for downsizing. You need to put like with like to get the full scope of just how much you have. 

Like with like is not an easy task. However, if you can manage to put like with like, it will make the overall process of downsizing easier. Going with coffee mugs, once you donate the 26 mugs you are not using, by all means take the 6 coffee mugs you are keeping and put them wherever you need them. Spread them out. Homes are meant to be lived in.

It may sound like an easy premise, but like with like is actually challenging. Don’t be hard on yourself if you start trying to put like with like and find it difficult. Minimalism and decluttering is not an easy process, even if people like me make it sound easy. 

Happy 7th Birthday, Simon!

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Happy Birthday, Simon! Today the baby turns 7. Simon is the youngest of the three cats. He is the middle child in order of adoption, but is the youngest in chronological age. Simon was adopted at age 1 1/2 and has been with Jude and I for 5 1/2 years. 

Simon is the most shy of the three cats. He hides if anyone comes to the house to visit. He is terrified of vacuum cleaners, lawn mowers and thunderstorms (basically all loud noises). Simon will hide in a kitchen cupboard or in my office upstairs when he is scared. 

Simon is our Chief Cuddler and the glue that holds our family together. Everyone loves Simon. He is often found cuddling with Jolene and Jude. Simon also has his moments where he enjoys his alone time. He can be found on the cat tree or in his favorite chair near the bedroom window.

He sleeps with me every night, right in the bed. Simon sleeps in the space right next to the pillow. Sometimes he does like to be under the covers as well. He is the one that wakes me up every morning to feed everyone breakfast.

Simon’s favorite toys are small toy mice and catnip bananas. He can often be found on his “nana phone” talking to all his Twitter friends. Simon is the king of random zoomies. He will make a noise and then take off to some other location within the house. He loves sun puddles and rolling around holding and licking his own tail.

He can often be found playing with Jolene. They chase each other up and down the stairs. He also enjoys wrestling matches with his sister. Simon plays with Jude as well. They like to play hide and seek over / under the Kuranda bed. Sometimes Jude plays too rough with Simon and they need to be separated, but at the end of the day, they cuddle and groom each other. 

Simon was adopted as a companion for Jude. When Kitty passed away, I had told Jude he was going to be an only child. That lasted for about 7 months. I was playing with Jude frequently, but he wanted to play non-stop and seemed to really need a companion. Enter Simon. 

With Simon, I started to do the slow introduction process I have always done with the cats to ensure a smooth transition and lasting bonds. However, Simon and Jude had another agenda. They both worked together from different sides of the door to meet long before I had wanted them to. Simon had only been with us for a few days when they wanted to meet each other. They have been deeply bonded from the first week Simon arrived.

Simon is the sweetest, gentlest cat and so loving. We are so privileged to have him as a family member. He brings us such love and joy every single day.

Even though he is turning 7, Simon will always be my baby. He is the youngest. Jolene was adopted after Simon, but she is older. After these three pass away, I will not adopt again. I will be a foster mom instead. So Simon is my baby because he is the youngest of the cats I will ever adopt. 

We cannot imagine what life would be like without Simon. You often hear of bonded duos. Bonded trios are rare. I truly think that Jude, Simon and Jolene are a bonded trio. They all get along so well. Simon is the glue that holds us all together. He is completely full of love, more than any other cat I have ever known.

Happy Birthday, Simon. We love you. 

Kenny’s Story

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It was winter 2022, either January or February. I don’t remember which. I work from home, and I sit near a window, so I can see out during the workday. A pickup truck came up the street, stopped, and a few colored items flew out the window. The truck sped off. The colored items that flew out were two kittens who were thrown out of the truck.

From their size, I estimated the kittens were somewhere between 6 months and 1 year old. There was Reba, a pregnant calico. I was able to catch her and get her to the animal shelter. They confirmed she was pregnant at under a year old. The other cat, Kenny, a black and white tuxie, was more elusive. I saw him at a distance, but he would not come close. 

Eventually, Kenny found refuge in my garage. I would see him outside interacting with longtime stray, Tom. Kenny pretty much lives in my garage. He uses the insulated cat shelters. He eats the food I set out. I see him every morning when I set out food and every evening when I bring food inside.

Last fall, about 6 months after being thrown from a truck, Kenny started to come closer to me. He has gotten to the point where he loves to be pet. He rubs up against me and purrs. He loves attention and loves to play.

In January 2023, the shelter had an opening to take another one of the strays I have been helping. I was confident that Kenny would be trapped and go to the shelter to be adopted. Kenny is very friendly and would be a great house cat. He has so much love to give and truly needs a home.

However, Tom was in the trap in January 2023. Tom went to the shelter and has since been adopted into a loving forever home. I am so happy for Tom. He is older, at least 10, with health issues. He was a favorite of shelter staff, as they said he is one of the most gentle strays they have ever taken in to be adopted. He is so happy and loved in his forever home.

Kenny is still here.

I cannot take in a fourth house cat either physically or legally. There is a three pet per house law here. Also, I can say that having three house cats is a definite stretch for me with resources. I do handle it, and I do not regret Jude, Simon or Jolene at all, but I know that I cannot handle a fourth cat. Kenny desperately needs a home, but it cannot be mine.

Kenny has gotten so friendly that he has tried to come into the house. However, I have to close the door instead of letting him in because the inside cats start to chase him, and I cannot have my inside cats escaping outside. Not only would I lose one of my beloved inside cats, but they would chase away Kenny too. Of course, if Kenny came inside, I would not put him out. I would take him to the shelter and insist they take him because he came inside.

The shelter knows that Kenny is here. However, they are too full of kittens right now to take another stray cat from me. Kenny is one of two outside cats that are left I am caring for.

The other outside cat I am still caring for is Flower. I have been caring for Flower for 5 years. Flower used to live in the house next door, until they kicked her out and moved. I want to trap Flower to get her to the shelter too.

Kenny and Flower are the last two outside strays I am helping. As soon as the shelter has space, I will trap one to take for medical care and adoption. Since I have bought this house, I have gotten three outside cats to the shelter for adoption: Reba (thrown from the truck), Tom (one of the original strays with Flower), and Clare (one of the original strays with Flower and Tom). 

There is a sense of urgency in trapping the strays and getting them to the shelter to be adopted. There is a dog fighting ring in the area. They spray paint the stray cats and use them as bait. The SPCA know the dog fighting ring is here, but refuses to do anything about it due to how much money it brings in. Incidentally, the SPCA also just lost their contract to provide services here.

The rescue I work with when I trap the strays and take them to shelter is NOT the SPCA. There is a different, non-profit 100% volunteer run shelter I am working with to find the strays forever homes and rescue them from the dog fighting ring.

I truly worry for Kenny, as he is so friendly. I am hoping to find him a home soon so that he can be out of this area with the dog fighting ring. Not to mention, he is the friendliest of the strays. It is very obvious he had a home once, and wants and needs one again. I am confident that if it were not for my inside cats chasing him away, he would probably come right into my house if I left the door open and let him inside. 

I am really hoping that the shelter will have space to take Kenny this fall. In addition to the dog fighting ring, I am worried about Kenny being abused due to his coloring. Kenny is the sweetest cat and so trusting. He truly deserves a forever home. 

This is Kenny’s story so far. I’m really hoping I can find him a forever home soon. 

10 Years of #BostonStrong

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Ten years ago today, the unthinkable happened when domestic American terrorists attacked the world’s most beloved marathon. The attack was brutal, cruel and unprovoked. Many people were murdered and many more were injured in the devastating event.

However, despite the atrocity, in the days that followed, the city and the world rallied around the race. After all, you just don’t mess with people who run 26.2 miles for fun. The Boston Police Department was the 2013 World Hide and Seek Champions as they searched tirelessly for the perpetrators to bring them to justice. 

Medical personnel responded, every day people lined up to give blood to the wounded. Everyone came together to support the Boston Marathon, whose finish line symbolizes hope, love and dreams to both runners and non-runners alike across the globe. 

I ran Boston in 2010, 2012, and 2014. The only reason why I wasn’t there in 2013 was because a family member had a major surgery two weeks before the race and I stayed home to assist in their recovery. The first bomb at the finish line went off within 30 seconds of my marathon finishing time. I had friends who were in the race that year, and was watching their progress on the course through GPS tracking. When the bombs went off, all the dots tracking my friends disappeared and the screen went blank. 

By the time I heard from all of my friends who were at the race that day, it was 3 am the next day. Thankfully, everyone I knew was safe. Many people were not. 

Every time I “toe the line” and stand at the start line of a race, I do it with the knowledge that I may die on course. Typically, this would be a medical death. We have all heard the tale of the first marathon and how the runner died from running so far. I never thought that I might die from a terrorist attack. 

Yet even though death is a possibility, the risk is well worth it to run a marathon. You see, the secret of the finish line is that the second your foot hits that finish line, you see the face of God. Whether you come in first, last, or someplace in the middle, the finish line is the moment in life when you truly touch the Devine. It’s that moment when you have achieved a feat that less than 5% of the human population will ever attempt. It’s the moment when your heart knows you have achieved the seemingly impossible and all your dreams come true. 

I ran a race about three weeks after the bombing. I will admit, I was terrified. What if there were copycats? What if my race was bombed too? I still lined up. I wasn’t about to let a domestic terrorist scare me off from the one thing I love to do most in life. I will admit, as soon as I saw the bomb-sniffing police dogs, I instantly relaxed. I figured if the dogs were on duty, I was safe. The dogs would protect me. They did. They gave me the courage to take that first step off the start line that day. 

Ten years later, I am still running #BostonStrong. I do not remember that day as a day that was torn apart; I remember that day as the day that brought the world together in solidarity. That is the essence of the running community. However, in the aftermath of that tragic day, even the non-running community came to experience aspects of the sport that we love the most: the love, hope and inclusivity that brings us all together on our way to our common goal of realizing our dreams. 

This year is my retirement year from competitive racing. Soon I hope to achieve medal 26. I will not stop running, but I will stop chasing down medals. You see, running is a life long love. As we marathoners like to say: run, walk, crawl, or dragged, I will cross the finish line. I will keep running. However, once I achieve medal 26, I will stop chasing the bling. After all, I keep going for the love of running. Once I have 26 medals on the rack, I will have enough bling.

Today, April 15, is One Boston Day. Not only is it the anniversary of the marathon bombing, but it is the day that everyone comes together in community and service to try to make this world a better place. We honor those killed in the tragedy by bringing light out of the darkness.

We will forever be #BostonStrong. 

30 Years of Work

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This month marks 30 years I have been working. A week after my 14th birthday, I went to the nurse’s office at school and applied for my working papers. I was approved. My first job was delivering newspapers in town. One of the stops on my route was a senior citizen building. They all found it novel to have a paper girl instead of a paper boy.

At age 15, I got a job working at McDonald’s. At age 16, I started working 2-3 jobs while in college. I worked 2-3 jobs for over 20 years trying to make ends meet while I was in school. 

In fact, in the 30 years that I have been in the workforce, the only time I have ever been unemployed were those two months back in 2021 when I lost my job in the pandemic. Other than those two months, I have been working for 30 years continuously. 

Many people retire after 20 years or so. I will not have the privilege of retirement. You see, I am not allowed to collect social security due to my student loans. I’ve been paying into the system for 30 years now, but will never be able to collect benefits due to student loans. 

Even though we pay back our student loans, the government refuses to release the debt. So we pay the student loans two or three times over. When we ask for “forgiveness” for student loans, we are not asking for the government to write off unpaid debt. We are asking them to release us from the loans we have already paid back with interest and yet are still paying. Student loans are America’s way of indentured servitude. 

The only way to retire if you have student loans is to try to save money in a 401k. But really, with student loan payments taking 30% of your income, who can save money in a 401k? We are not allowed social security payments for retirement or for disability. I feel terrible for all the people with long covid who are denied disability benefits because they owe student loans. This is how the system works in America.

This year I celebrate 30 years of work in America with no end in sight. Or is there?

Given we are living in a genocide, I am going to be outrageously optimistic and say I am hoping to live to see age 60. The government wants me dead, so trying to live and survive for 16 more years is quite ambitious. However, given the rapid decline in American life expectancy, I feel that age 60 is a reasonable goal. After all, America is doing everything it can to kill off people over age 65 and those with disabilities.

So while I “celebrate” 30 years of working, I am hoping to be able to work for 11 more years. At age 55, I intend to retire and spend 5 years not working before I die at age 60. I think I deserve that. 

Of course, my real goal is to outlive the cats. I need to be able to take care of them and keep them together. Given their current ages, I think my goal of living to see age 60 to outlive them is quite reasonable. 

While student loan payments have been paused, I have been putting my money into my 401k. When I reach age 55, I plan to withdraw all the money and leave the country. Once the cats are gone, my goal is to travel. I will have 5 years to enjoy before I die.

Of course, you know how the best laid plans are always waylaid. This is my optimistic goal. 

After 30 years of work, I can only hope to work 11 more years. It’s possible that death or disability will cut my work life short and I will never experience retirement. I will never be able to travel or visit other countries if America continues on its current downward trajectory.

But today, I celebrate 30 years of work with the thought that I will only work for 11 more years and then can take 5 years of enjoyment before death. This is the best America has to offer. My dream is to outlive the cats and hopefully be able to travel out of country before I die. 

26.2 Songs in the Key of Life

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Today is my birthday. I am turning 44.

I’m not sure how much longer I will be alive. Not only am I on the euthanasia list, but the American government is actively engaged in genocide with a level 3 biohazard known as covid. We are experiencing a 9/11 worth of covid deaths daily, yet the government says the pandemic is “over.” So many people are dying of covid here, they are being put in mass graves.

But to be optimistic on my birthday, I am hoping to live to age 60 to outlive the cats. I need to be able to take care of them and keep them together.

Before the pandemic, when I bought the house, I decided it was time to take care of some important planning as part of being a responsible adult. I wrote my own obituary and outlined my wishes for my funeral. At the time, I considered this “long term planning.”

Part of my planning was that I came up with a playlist of songs that represent my life. I chose 26.2 songs. A marathon is 26.2 miles. I am a marathon runner. There are 26 randoms songs. The .2 are two Christmas songs, kind of as a bonus. My plan was for the playlist to be played at my funeral for people to have something to remember me by and as a way to have insight into my life.

Given that so many people now are just being thrown into mass graves with all of the covid deaths, I highly doubt I will have a funeral or a death how I want it.

I have decided that on my birthday I want to post my playlist today. I want people to celebrate my life. Every day I am alive is a precious gift. I just want to outlive my cats.

I am quite sure that even if I live for another 15 or 20 years and then die, that my playlist will be the same. These are truly songs that tell the story of my life.

I am giving you the annotated version in random order. The songs are not in any particular order. I will post a link to the YouTube version of the song linked to the song title if you want to listen to my playlist. Each song has a brief description of why it has been chosen.

So today on my birthday, I want to celebrate life by sharing with you the 26.2 songs in the key of my life with you. Enjoy. Celebrate being alive. Life is precious and so fleeting.

Hey, Jude by The Beatles (album version)

This is the song that inspired my baby name. Jude did indeed live up to his name. He came into my life at a very challenging time and “took a sad song and made it better.”

Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

This song has been in the background of my life for as long as I remember. It has echoed off the mountains of the Adirondacks. I named a room in my house after this song. I have just lived it and felt it as a part of me always. From childhood to death. I was not as strong as you think. I have always “wished you were here,” but I honestly never knew who I was wishing for because people always flowed through my life like water. 

Dream On by Aerosmith

Another song that reflects my life. It’s also about hockey. Every time I hear it, I think of the movie “Miracle.” I  love to read. “Half my life is on book’s written pages.”

Going Out in Style by Dropkick Murphys

This was my theme song when I finally completed my bachelor’s degree at Binghamton University in 2011 after having spent 15 year fighting for a 4-year degree while working 2-3 jobs. It also describes exactly what I want for my funeral: “You can take my urn to Fenway spread my ashes all about.”

Old Blue Chair by Kenny Chesney

Wow. This is my Cranberry song. It is my life song. I have literally lived every single lyric in this song. I have “seen the world through a bus windshield.” I spend every Cranberry sitting in an old blue chair. I have often been there to “let go of a lover who took a piece of my heart.” I have fallen asleep in that blue chair and “woke up to a million mesquito bites.” I have lived this song more than any other. It was so hard picking a Kenny song, as he is one of my top 3 favorite artists, but this is my song.

Somewhere on A Beach by Dierks Bentley

In my dreams. This is the song for when I want to give a middle finger to the world. Plus, it is the perfect beach day song for my many day road trips to the state parks.

For What It’s Worth by Stevie Nicks

This is another song I have lived. This is for my first New York girlfriend. Thank you for breaking the geography barrier for me and for teaching me that I am who I am no matter where I am and that is completely okay. “I got to sing, I got to dance, I got to be a part of a great romance, still forbidden, still outrageous …” 

Drumming Song by Florence & the Machine

This was for when I reclaimed my childhood by taking drum lessons. This song healed my heart when Kip died. This song healed my heart when Kitty died. I have cried to this song. I have made love to this song. I fell down the stairs (due to my disability) when this song was playing. I danced around the living room (with wine) to this song. It was hard to pick which Flo song to put on this list, but it had to be this one. This song has seen me through good and bad. “Sweeter than Heaven and hotter than Hell” 

The Ones That Like Me by Brantley Gilbert

Pretty much. You would not believe how many people have called me a bitch to my face. So whether you’re here to toast me in respect or spit on my grave, this is for you. “The ones that need me, got me. The ones that doubt me can’t stop me.”

Cheers (Drink to that) by Rihanna

This is the song that I play when driving north for my annual ADK camping trip. It reminds me of the little outside bar in the middle of the woods that you could only get to by hiking. 

Snow on the Beach by Taylor Swift

Many of my best memories come from the beach in winter. Whether it was surfing the waves or just watching a storm come in, I loved being on the oceans and the lakes. I always joke that Taylor should come to the rainbow side and would be my future ex-wife. Her best albums are Lover and Midnights. So I had to include a T.Swift song. This one just brings back wonderful memories of the cottage on Cayuga Lake and the Kennedy Compound on Cape Cod.

Pocketful of Miracles by Frank Sinatra

    This was my theme song for the brief moments in time when I received respite from my disability. It’s how I think about life and I was so happy to be alive and be able to do what I wanted to do. 

    Love & Affection by Def Leppard

    Def Leppard is my most favorite band of all time. I fell in love with them at 8 years old. I saw them in concert twice. It was so hard to choose, when I love 99% of the songs they’ve ever done. But this one rings true for me and has since I was a child.

    Jolene by Dolly Parton

      I love Dolly. It was hard choosing one of her songs. This is the song that inspired my baby name. Jolene was auburn and white. This is one of the most misunderstood songs in music history. To truly get why this song has spoke to my soul, you need to listen to a podcast called “Dolly Parton’s America” from WNYC Studios (2019) episode 6: “The Only One for Me, Jolene.”

      Roll with the Changes by REO Speedwagon

      The very first time I went to Boston was in high school back in the 90s for Harvard Model Congress. I had flown up from Virginia and was rooming with this chick who completely blew my mind from Chicago. We listened to REO on vinyl and shared strawberry shortcake at Hard Rock. Of all REO songs, this one exemplifies my life. “If you’re tired of the same old story, turn some pages.” 

      Everything About it is a Love Song by Paul Simon

        For my son, Simon. Simon’s name came from many places. It came from Paul Simon, Simon as the character in The Saint, so we had the physics connection with the other kids, and also the Chipmunks. Although, sometimes with his mischief, I would joke he should have been named Alvin. Simon is one of the five most important loves of my life.

        Love Me Like Music (I’ll Be Your Song) by Heart

        This is another song I have lived. This is for my Kennedy Compound secret that we kept for over 20 years. You made me crawl through the window because I would not commit. Yet, my surfboard lived in the garage when I returned from Cali. In memory of days in P-town, nights in Truro and endless sand. All I can say is “thank you.” I left a part of my heart on Kalmus Beach and in at least one part of heaven, I’ll be riding the waves there once again. You were the harmony to my melody. 

        Burnin’ It Down by Jason Aldean

          This reminds me of the person who held my heart in their hands since we were 8 years old. Thank you for giving me some of my best and most memorable birthdays in my 30s. You chose cocaine over me. I’m not judging, I’m not sad, I’m not mad. I was still here for you until I took my last breath. I hope you know that. 

          Come Away With Me by Norah Jones

          This is for the person who not only provided me safe harbor in the storm, but also gave me the strength to stand on my own two feet on the shore without getting pummeled by waves. You taught me to surf. You taught me about wine. You gave me freedom, light and love. Then, you moved on, and it was okay. Thank you for changing my life and giving me the skills I needed to readjust my sails. I listened to this song every Cranberry morning after I met you. You showed me the beauty of lake and ocean in winter. 

            Drive In Drive Out by Dave Matthews Band

            This song describes what I went through going back and forth between Massachusetts and New York for decades. Every time I crossed the border back into New York, it broke my heart. I was crying so hard, it’s a wonder I did not get ticketed more than what I did.

            Lose Yourself by Eminem

            This was my running theme song for the first half of my running career. I had claimed it before it became popular with the rest of the running community. I grew up in poverty. I know exatly what this song was talking about. Running was my one chance in life to be great.

            Remember The Name by Fort Minor

            This was my running theme song for the second half of my running career. It outlines exactly what it takes to run a marathon. When your body gives out, you run with your heart.

            What You Give by Tesla

            This song reminds me of growing up, but especially, high school. I’ve always believed this to be true, even in the times when I felt I had nothing more to give. “It ain’t the life you choose, but the life you live.”

            Settling Down by Miranda Lambert

            This song describes the existential crisis I experienced my entire life from the moment I could think. I have always oscillated between happiness being found on the highway or parked in the driveway. 

            Forty Hour Week for a livin’ by Alabama

            This song reminds me of my childhood. It reminds me of my grandfather working his farm and teaching me that the most important thing in life is to work hard to provide for your family. You have to work hard so you can love. I spent 25 years working 60-80 hour weeks trying to make ends meet before my disability made me slow down to 40 hours a week. I would not have made it if not for the lessons my grandfather taught me. 

            Record Year by Eric Church

            This is what I am giving you. A three inch stack of vinyl with songs in the key of my life. I loved vinyl. 

            The point 2 (Christmas)

            Little Drummer Boy by Jars of Clay

            This is my favorite Christmas song by my favorite Christian rock band. I love the bass on it. The drums on this song is how the little drummer boy is supposed to sound.

              Old City Bar by Trans-Siberian Orchestra

              This song reminds me of Cheers. Beyond that, listen to the lyrics and take it with you.

              Furever Home

              / rachelgoes262 / Leave a comment

              Happy 11th Birthday, Jude! Valentine’s Day 2023 is Jude’s 11th birthday. It is also his Gotcha Day. He has been with me for 9 years. Jude was adopted at age 2. He had been taken by the Humane Society from a hoarding situation that had over 30 cats crammed into a tiny trailer. 

              Jude was very shy in the shelter. He did not want to come out of his cage. The shelter workers said he got along with all of the other cats and played gently with them, keeping his claws in. Jude was the perfect companion for Kitty, who was 15 when Jude entered our home. Kitty was heartbroken over the loss of his lifelong companion, Kip. When Jude arrived, he truly did take a sad song and make it better.

              Jude played gently with Kitty and was with him through his final years and battle with cancer. When Kitty passed away, I told Jude he was going to be an only child. That lasted about 7 months before Jude started driving me nuts and obviously needed a feline companion. 

              Jude is now the eldest brother to younger siblings Simon and Jolene. Jude took to Simon right away. They are best friends and often cuddle and groom each other. Jude is the same. With Jolene. Sometimes, I think Jude plays rough with Simon. However, it could just be the contrast with how gentle he was with Kitty.

              The funny thing is, Jude treats Jolene much the same as he treated Kitty. Jude will play with Jolene, but very gently, and not for long. Jolene often chases Jude. He does nothing to retaliate. You can tell Jolene is in charge. 

              This is in contrast to when Simon and Jolene play together. They both give and take quite equally. 

              As Jude is celebrating 9 years with me, he has now officially been living in the house longer than we were in the apartment. This house is truly his furever home. You can tell he is much happier in the house than he was in the apartment. I do not think he was unhappy in the apartment. He just seems happier in the house.

              In the house, there is more room to run and play. Jude plays more in the house. He is comfortable here. He often rolls around on the floor, which is his indication he wants attention, pets, and play.

              All three cats have now officially lived in this house longer than they have lived any place else in their lives. This is home for them. Personally, I will have to be in this house another decade before it surpasses the time I lived in the apartment. 

              For the cats, this is home. It’s the home they have known. This is where we will be living for the rest of our lives. 

              I did not intend to adopt Jude on Valentine’s Day. We had a snowstorm that year and the schools all closed. The roads were bad, but not that bad. Since I unexpectedly had the day off, I decided to go meet Jude early. I had been planning on meeting him the following week. I honestly did not know if he would be the right cat to be a companion for Kitty or if we would get along or not. As soon as I met him, I knew he was the right one. 

              He refused to come out of his cage, but he was fine with me opening the cage, petting him, and interacting with him. Jude has so much love to give.

              In the past 9 years, he has come so far. He has gone from sitting next to me on the couch to actually sitting on my lap at times. He does love pets and play, but definitely on his own terms. He hates to be picked up.

              Jude is very loving with his siblings and is the perfect older brother. Jude will always be my Valentine. I am so glad I took a chance on this shy cat that everyone else had overlooked. He has the sweetest personality, if you have the patience to work with him and allow him to come out on his own terms.

              Jude loves being on the bed during the day when I am no longer in it. Sometimes he does sleep in the bed with me at night, but always near my feet. That’s ok. It’s on his terms. I love it when all three cats are in the bed with me at night.

              Jude loves laying on the couch with me when reading or watching the DVD player. Since being in the house, he is much more playful. He enjoys his toys and his cactus scratching posts. 

              This house is the furever home for all three cats now. We will be here until they have all passed. Jude seems to love the space in the house much more than the apartment. There is also lots of entertainment outside the windows with birds, squirrels and neighbors.

              Happy Birthday, Jude. Happy Gotcha Day, Jude. We are in our furever home. Thank you so much for taking a sad song and making it better.