The photo does not do justice to how nice this green color is in real life.
For fans of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, May 25 is Towel Day. Happy Towel Day! As Adams’ so skillfully articulated, towels are one of the most useful items to have. In fact, I always tried to have one towel even when I was homeless. In addition to being able to use it to wash and dry off, towels can be rolled and used as pillows or used as blankets.
For some reason, I become particularly attached to towels and will often use them until they are threadbare or some other unfortunate fate befalls them. Towels have been quite memorable in my life.
I specifically remember one towel I had during a bout of homelessness as being white with pink stripes on it. It came from Walmart. It was big enough to wrap your hair after a shower, and that was about it. I remember paying $2 for a shower at the YMCA. When you paid your $2, they provided a small bar of soap and a towel for your shower. I used the YMCA towel for my body and my pink-striped towel for my hair.
I remember the towel set I had in my last apartment. I typically have 2-3 towels at a time. The trio of towels I had in my last apartment were from Target. There was one pink, one yellow, and one white with green stripes. I remember the apartment towels vividly, as they were the only set of towels that had a fate befall them other than using them threadbare.
The last 4 months I was in the apartment, we pretty much had no water. Ok, we did technically have water, but it was not water you could drink or use for laundry. You could use the water to shower, but that was about it. You see, a new landlord took over the apartment building. The building was on a well. He hired some “water company” who did something to the well and turned the water blue. Not only was the water blue those last 4 months, but anything the water encountered turned blue also.
They said the water was safe to drink, but after watching it turn all my towels blue from drying off after a shower, I did not believe them. I also stopped doing laundry at my apartment, as anyone who did laundry in that water had their entire wardrobe dyed blue too.
When I moved into the house, it was time for new towels to replace the set I had that had been dyed blue by the bad apartment water.
My big towel splurge when I purchased the house was two LL Bean beach towels. I figured they would be large and luxurious. They are. I love them. I have the turtle towel and a starfish towel.
I love the beach towels, and I still have them. They are still going strong after well over 6 years. My only complaint is that the large, thick luxurious beach towels take FOREVER to dry. I was thinking recently that once I wear out the beach towels, I will probably only have to buy one more set of towels before I die.
Then I also got to thinking about how often we do things for the last time – and don’t know it. For example, the last time I ran a full marathon, I had no idea that would be my last marathon. Of course, there is still a possibility. I could run another one. But more probably, the last one I ran really was the LAST marathon I’m going to run. I didn’t know it at the time.
We never know when we are going to do something for the last time.
Given how hot and humid summer was last year, I decided that I don’t want to go through another summer with my beach towels and they excessively long drying time. I decided it’s time to go back to normal bath towels, and now is the time to buy them before tariffs kick in and drive-up prices and / or make items scarce.
I looked at different options for bath towels. Of course, I checked out LL Bean first, as they are high quality and an ultimate splurge. I picked out two towels in a green color that I liked but did not love and added them to the cart. I did not have enough in the cart for free shipping. I am one of those people that tries to only shop online when I have enough items in the cart for the free shipping. I was not about to go looking for items to add that I don’t need to meet the “free shipping” requirement.
So I started looking around at other “high quality” bath towels. My thought was that this is the last set of towels I will buy before I die. They need to be good. Between the towels I am purchasing and my two beach towels, I will be set for life on the towel front. In fact, I could get by with my beach towels. There is nothing wrong with them. I did not technically need new towels. I just get impatient for the beach towels to dry.
I ultimately decided on two supima cotton bath towels from Land’s End. They had a shade of green that I am absolutely in love with, they were on sale, and the shipping was free. They checked all the boxes including super fluffy.
I am absolutely thrilled with the shade of green and cannot stop looking at them every time I am in the bathroom. They make me so happy. I have washed them, and they dry much more quickly than my beach towels. I will be using one later today for the first time, and I only hope that I enjoy using it as much as I enjoy looking at it.
When it comes to something like Towel Day and the practicality of a towel from when I was homeless, these towels are completely impractical. They are luxurious. They are a shade of light green that won’t hold up to rough life on the streets. But these are probably the last towels I will ever buy. I wanted super fluffy, and I wanted that color green. Practicality be damned. If the world is going to hell, I’m going to have a bath towel I love.
I got two of the light green towels. I am still using my brown LL Bean hand towels. My bathroom theme is turtles with colors green and light brown/sand. The new towels are more of a mint green color. I love it.
Let’s hope it works well when I use it later.
The beach towels will be going into storage and saved for when I go to the beach or if they are needed for some other purpose. You never know. If I do happen to visit another planet in the galaxy, the turtle beach towel will be the one to go with me.
Happy Birthday, Simon! Today the baby turns 9 years old. Simon is the youngest cat of the three. Simon is our Chief Cuddler. He is very loving and enjoys cuddling and grooming both Jude and Jolene.
Simon will often look at Flower like he wants to cuddle her when she is sleeping, but Simon is afraid of her. Flower hisses at the house cats because she is afraid of them. Simon is so sweet and so gentle. He is afraid of Flower because she hisses at him when she is awake.
Simon loves to play with Jude and Jolene. Simon and Jolene often chase each other up and down the stairs. At night, Simon will cuddle on the bed with either Jude or Jolene to sleep. He can often be found grooming his siblings also.
As the baby, Simon rarely performs coworker duty. Typically, when Simon appears in the office, it’s because it is getting close to a break/snack time or mealtime. He also knows when the workday is ending, and it will soon be family time. When Simon does do coworker duty, it is typically in the last hour of the shift, as he knows family time is fast approaching.
Simon is so sweet and innocent. He is afraid of everything. He hides during thunderstorms and when the lawn is being mowed. He is also afraid of the basement and has been challenging to train for tornado preparedness. Simon takes a long time to learn that something is safe.
He loves the banana toys and the silvervine sticks. He also plays with small felt mice. He is the one who takes toys into the kitchen and loses them under appliances. I must use a yard stick almost weekly to fish toys out from under kitchen appliances.
Simon loves sleeping on the square cat bed in front of the window. He can often be seen cuddling with Jude or Jolene there. He also enjoys watching the birds out the window.
Simon is very sweet and loving. He absolutely adores his siblings and just wants to love everyone. He gets confused that Foster Flower fears him and won’t let him cuddle. He is afraid of her because she hisses at him! Poor Simon has so much love to give. He just wants to love Flower also for the time she is here.
Simon loves all his family members. He sleeps with me every night. If he is not cuddling Jude or Jolene by my side, then he is laying right next to my pillow in the bed. Simon also loves to be under the blankets. It makes him feel safe. Sometimes he hides under the comforter when there is a thunderstorm.
If Jolene brings life to this house, Simon is the one who brings the love.
A few years ago, I did a post called Signature Scent. While I still stand by the idea that I do not need 3-4 (or more) scents, the idea of only having one is a Fantasy Self. While I enjoyed Coco Mademoiselle, it made me realize that I am the type of person who prefers to have a summer scent and a winter scent. Wearing one scent all the time felt weird and got boring.
When I ran out of Chanel, I also realized that I am not about to spend another $120 (or more!) on another bottle of perfume. I may like the idea of being someone who wears Chanel, but I can’t afford that lifestyle. I am content to say that I have had one bottle of genuine Chanel perfume in my life. I enjoyed it.
I thought long and hard about what I wanted for a summer scent, what I wanted for a winter scent, pricing, and what that looks like. In my last post reminiscing about perfume, I was mostly thinking of the 80s and early 90s. This time, my brain went to the scent memories of the late 90s through about 2013.
These scent memories of nearly 20 years took me back to Bath and Body Works. I did not realize how much those scents dominated my life for well over a decade. While it’s nice to take a walk down memory lane, I also realize that most of those times are not memories I want to revisit on a regular basis. I need new scents.
However, while strolling down memory lane, I realized that the first scent I loved from Bath and Body Works was Country Apple from the late 90s. Thinking about it some more, I seem to be chasing that elusive apple smell in various forms and various ways ever since.
Country Apple was given to me as a gift at a time when I was homeless. I remember feeling so rich that I had a bottle of that apple lotion, and it was one of my most precious possessions at the time.
Pearberry was a scent I wore for many years when I first moved from Massachusetts to New York. I remember I had eras of Sweet Pea and Moonlight Path.
Coconut Lime Verbana was a favorite for many years when I was teaching pre-school. I have lost memories of a Secret Wonderland era. Honestly, it took me a long time to remember Secret Wonderland. I’m not sure why I blocked it. Something must have happened.
The last scent I remember having and enjoying was Forever Red. Forever Red is another era that is slightly fuzzy. Who knows what happened during those years. I’m pretty sure Forever Red was the end of my Bath and Body Works era before I switched to the Victoria’s Secret Fragrances.
In realizing that I want a summer scent and a winter scent, I figured that Bath and Body Works is the way to go as the most affordable option. They offer a wide variety of choices.
After doing my research on scents and knowing how I tend to gravitate, I have chosen Sweet Kiwi and Starfruit as my summer scent. There was a buy two – get one free sale, so I got the body lotion, body cream, and scent spray.
In doing my research on scents for winter, I am thinking of going with either Champagne Apple Honey or Ghoul Friend when they come out this fall for Halloween. We will see. I’ve been chasing that elusive apple scent for decades now. I don’t know what it is about apple. I even get apple dish soap when it’s available.
No, I do not like Winter Candy Apple.
There are two retired scents (Be Enchanted and Bali Mango) that will be making a comeback for the Semi-Annual Sale this summer. While I am tempted by them, I don’t want scents from the past. I don’t live there. Even though I did not have either of those scents when they were out originally, I want new scents to create new memories.
This summer I smell like a starfruit. It may not be practical, but I’m a middle-aged woman and I will smell like a starfruit if I want to. You don’t need to like it. It makes me happy.
To be honest, there are two other summer scents I am interested in (At the Beach and Ocean), but I am resolute in keeping myself to one summer scent and one winter scent. I do not want to end up with 3-4 scents again that I am not able to use before they go sour. I did get two Ocean air fresheners as a splurge and have one in the car right now. I am enjoying it immensely.
It was nice remembering scents I used to enjoy, but I don’t want to relive memories of those times. This summer will be my starfruit summer. Hopefully there will be some good memories for my new summer scent.
Do you have a summer scent and a winter scent? Have you had scent eras? Sometimes a new fragrance can be a fresh start when it is connected to memory.
April 9 is Flower Day. While we do not know her birthdate or age for certain, I am going based on information I know of her history and information from the veterinarian regarding her physical condition. Today, we are celebrating Flower’s 15th Birthday.
If you would like to participate in Flower Day, the ask is that you do an Act of Kindness in Honor of Flower to counteract the extreme abuse she has suffered in her life. I’m sure you have read the prior three installments of Flower’s specific story. In addition to the blog posts specifically about her, Flower has appeared and been mentioned on this website on and off for the past 6+ years.
Flower had another medical appointment back in March to look more into her physical injuries and to see if there are any other issues. The vet office was sure that they found Flower’s unicorn – a forever home with a person who would be perfect. It was an older woman in her 80s, whose cat just died from kidney disease and her home is not a home without a cat.
However, when the vet did a more thorough examination of Flower including extensive bloodwork, combined with her behavior at the vet office and the behavior I report that she does in my home, it has been determined that Flower is a hospice situation.
Flower will be staying with me until a decision needs to be made regarding her quality of life, pain levels, and euthanasia.
It is not fair for this other person who just lost their beloved cat to take on another cat who is at the end of their life. At the same time, it would not be fair to Flower for her to leave me now. She is terrified of other people. Flower growled at the vet office. She has failed every meet and greet with anyone interested in adopting her. Flower hides. If she goes to another home now, she will hide for weeks or even months.
How would that person know she is in pain unless they have a camera on her all the time like I do? How would they be able to give her the medication she needs daily if she hides from you.
If Flower only has a few months to live, it is not fair to her to have to spend her last few months learning to trust a stranger.
Flower is afraid of my house cats. Yes, it would probably be best for her to be an only pet. However, she is very attached to me. She rubs on me, licks me, and allows me to administer her medication every day. She does not hide from me. I have been working with this cat every single day when she was outside for the past 6 years before she finally went into the trap. How long would it take for her to get used to a new person?
Part of the reason why Flower is so scared of the house cats – Flower is going blind. This is one of her MANY medical issues. She is not blind yet, but her vision is very poor and getting worse. She can see them, hear them, and smell them. But I think sometimes they get close to her before she can register they are there, and her default is to hiss because she does not have enough time to decide if they are friend or foe.
The house cats have been nothing but patient and kind to Flower. No one has hissed or growled back at her. When Flower hisses at them, they run away or give her more space.
Is this a perfect situation? No, it is not. But this is the best situation for Flower knowing that she is at the end of her life.
The vet office has given Flower a medication for her arthritis to try to improve her quality of life. It can take 4-6 weeks to work – IF it works. At this point, I am trying to keep her comfortable and let her know she is loved. When it gets to a point where she is in pain from the arthritis and the pain cannot be managed or her quality of live decreases, it will be time to say goodbye.
I am still calling Flower a Foster. I never planned on having a fourth cat. I was completely shocked the shelter here would not respond to an injured cat. I truly thought she would only be with me for a few months and then would be adopted into a forever home. I didn’t realize this is a geriatric, medically complex cat. She would have died outside this past winter if she hadn’t gone into the trap last fall.
She is with me as a hospice until she passes. There are people who foster pets who are hospice. It is called fospice when that situation happens.
Flower is no longer available for adoption.
If Flower had been taken in by the shelter last fall, she would have been euthanized. She is truly a hospice situation. She is too medically complex for rehoming.
She will be staying with her foster family permanently until it is time for her to be euthanized from her injuries.
Yes, she would do better being with someone where she could be the only pet in a home. However, it is going to be more stressful for her to leave me and learn to trust a stranger at the end of her life. She is comfortable with me. I know her habits now, I’m home a lot, and she has a camera on her all the time. (Sometimes I wake up to 50+ 10-30 second videos of her just stretching or rolling over in her cat bed.)
I’m trying to show Flower all the love she never had. I’m treating every day like it may be her last. Now that I know she is hospice, I’m glad I took extra time to show Flower Santa on NORAD at Christmas and included her in our family activities. Will Flower see another Christmas? I don’t know. But at least I know she had one Christmas with me inside, warm, fed and loved.
I’m not sure if Flower will have other birthdays. I hope that she does. I want to show her all the love she didn’t have for so long. We will see. These things are beyond our control. It all depends on her ongoing medical status.
Today we say, Happy 15th Birthday, Flower! Please do an Act of Kindness for Flower Day on April 9 to push back on all the evil Flower has experienced in life.
A few years ago, I read an article that interviewed immigrants about the one item that reminded them of their home country. I have not been able to find the article to link it.
Basically, they were all asked what one item they had with them in their new country that always reminded them of their home country. Sometimes people immigrate in a state of duress. They are only able to take what they can quickly grab. Other times, people have more time and resources to immigrate and can more carefully curate what they take with them to their new country.
Once the cats have all passed away from natural causes at the normal end of their lives, my goal is to leave the country. That article I read years ago made me think of what one item I would take with me that would remind me of the USA.
In the article, a musician told of a piece of sheet music he has in his native language. Someone else showed a bracelet that had been made by their artisan grandmother. Another person had a favorite book in their native language.
What one thing would I take that would remind me of the USA?
This is a hard question. There is not a lot to be happy about in the USA right now.
Then I happened to think of a treasured item I have in my one box of mementos that 100% would remind me of the USA.
It is my LOVE stamp pin.
The 2023 Love stamp is my favorite US stamp of all time. I ordered so many sheets of the cat and dog love stamps, I had enough to use on all of my Christmas cards for 2024 also.
I bought the Love stamp pin because I enjoyed that stamp so much. It was my first time purchasing anything stamp related. I typically just use stamps to mail my bills and don’t give a thought or care to the design of the stamp.
However, the 2023 love stamp is my favorite. I actively sought it out to be able to use it.
The US postal service holds many memories for me. It was an essential service for my grandparent’s rural farm. They were immigrants here from Austria.
The US postal service is essential in delivering medications and keeping us all connected. I love Christmas cards, birthday cards, and handwritten letters. In a world of increasing technology, there is still something to be said for the joy of seeing a letter in the mail that is not a bill.
When I leave the country, the one item I will take to remind me of the USA is my 2023 love pin.
Being attacked and physically injured by the neighbors in 2023 was a huge shock. I never expected something like that to happen when I bought this house. It was even more shocking and disappointing that when I reported the injuries and behavior to the village and the sheriff department, I was gaslit and experienced retaliation. Other people in the village have also complained about the boom cars and experienced retaliation. The difference between the other people in the village complaining about the boom cars and me is that those other people live on other streets. I live in the house directly across from and next to the houses with the boom cars. It’s worse for me.
In 2024, I decided I need to try to come up with a safety plan in case it happened again. It’s obvious that neither the village nor the sheriff department are going to keep us safe from physical injury. My plan was that we would just leave when they do the boom car behavior.
This safety plan failed epically for multiple reasons. Emboldened by the fact that everyone who complained about the boom cars in 2023 experienced retaliation, they got worse in 2024. They were constant for 18-21 hours a day for at least 5 months. I cannot afford to live in a hotel, apartment, or a second residence for several months per year.
We did spend a night in the car on the side of the road like homeless people. We are not homeless. I own a home. I own property. But I was so exhausted after several months of only 3 hours of sleep per day and blood dripping out of my ears, we needed a break. We slept in the car.
Mind you, the car smells like urine. That was not a pleasant experience. The neighbors have an outhouse directly against my garage, using my garage as the fourth wall to their outhouse. It gets daily use. Not to mention, their children came onto my property without permission and threw rocks at my car, trying to damage and disable it. I was told that their children were allowed to come onto my property without my permission and throw rocks at my car because “they own the street.”
This fall, the neighbors also started blocking my driveway again. Often, I am unable to leave. Once, I went to the pharmacy and was blocked from returning home for three hours. I wasn’t feeling well. I wanted to lie down. I could not physically reach my house.
It’s like playing Russian roulette trying to figure out when I can leave the house when the driveway is not blocked and hoping I will be able to return home.
No, the police will not respond to this situation. I was told it is legal for people to park on the side of the road, even if they park directly in front of a driveway, completely blocking access to the property.
The man who does my snowplowing was not even able to plow my driveway once this winter because they were blocking my driveway with their vehicle. They refused to move the car. I had to pay for snowplowing that did not actually happen because my driveway could not be accessed.
I have been told if I complain about the neighbor abuse again, my cats will be taken and used as bait for the dog fighting ring. I feel like I have used all my options. There is no way to make the behavior stop.
We need to be safe. I now have permanent hearing damage because of their actions. The cats (especially Jolene) do too.
A new safety plan is needed this year, especially since leaving is not an option. They physically prevent me from leaving.
I reached out to a sound engineering company in Pennsylvania run by a retired Navy veteran. I asked them to do an analysis about soundproofing the house – even just one room so we have a safe place. I provided them with photos, videos, and decibel reading of the noise from the boom cars.
The gentleman from the residential section of the sound engineering firm shook his head. He said what we are experiencing far exceeds what is normal in a residential setting. Boom cars are typically illegal, especially in residential areas. The vehicles are supposed to be impounded and the sound systems removed.
I told him there is a NYS vehicle law that states that sound from vehicles is not supposed to exceed 70db at the property line. However, NYS laws do not apply in this village. The village encourages the boom cars.
The residential sound engineer referred me to the commercial sound engineer – this is the person who does soundproofing for things like gun firing ranges.
The commercial person also said what I am experiencing far exceeds even a gun firing range in that the noise I am experiencing is constant, for hours. The noise at a gun firing range is intermittent.
The analysis they provided is that the house cannot be soundproofed for this level of noise. It cannot be retrofitted. The noise I am experiencing far exceeds what people should experience in a home.
They did suggest a room of new construction – new build – be built in the basement with shock absorbers in the walls. They suggested the basement since all the db readings I have recorded are on the first floor of my home. Although, the noise in the basement is bad too. If you set a glass of water on the workbench in the basement, the water in the glass “jumps” due to the level of noise they produce. It’s that loud.
We end up stuck in this house with no way to leave and no way to make it stop.
I feel helpless. No one can make this stop, and no one cares.
I don’t like feeling helpless. I feel like I need to do something to try to protect me and the cats.
We have been working on our tornado training as the result of the tornado we had last summer. The basement is our safe place for tornadoes. While the excessive noise from the boom cars is still excessive in the basement, it’s not as bad (not by much) as the first floor.
So, the basement seems to be the safest place in the house. I say that with a grain of salt. The basement is not safe either. The noise is excessive down there also. Not to mention, the radon in the basement is high. Radon levels are supposed to be 4 or below. Radon levels in our basement are well over 30. I had been saving money for radon mitigation, but all that money has been drained since the neighbors behavior prevents me from working.
With both tornadoes and neighbor abuse in mind, the basement seems like the best bet. Jude and Jolene are trained to go to the basement on their own. Simon is still working on carrier training. He is scared of both the carrier and the basement.
I decided to get two more carriers to put in the basement, that way there are carriers already down there. It makes things easier for me when there is a tornado – Jude and Jolene will go to the basement, I just need to grab Simon. If carriers are already in the basement, then I do not have to worry about trying to grab those too in addition to getting everyone down there for safety.
I bought a roll of mass loaded vinyl and used it to put around the carriers. I also covered them with my old bed comforter. I know that mass loaded vinyl will not help at all with the level of noise we are experiencing from the boom cars, but I feel like I need to do something to keep us safe.
I also got a pair of gun range headphones for me to wear in the basement. They are pretty much a waste of money. You can still hear the booming even with gun range headphones. The noise is that excessive. Still, if there is any way to prevent blood dripping from ears – it’s worth a try?
This is our safety plan for 2025 since our safety plan for 2024 failed epically. In addition to subjecting us to excessive noise, the neighbors are now physically preventing us from leaving. I’m just trying to do the best I can to stay safe. I don’t know what more to do.
At the very least, it will be helpful to have the carriers in the basement for tornadoes. I can put the cats in the carriers once they are in the basement. It just makes it easier for me to get us all down there if there are some tornado supplies already there.
Today is my birthday. It looks like I’ll be getting another ride around the sun.
Birthdays are my favorite holiday. I love being alive. Every time I get a birthday, it’s like a giant middle finger to the world that I was able to survive another year of what life threw at me.
This year, it’s going to be two giant middle fingers.
The past year has been especially hard. I love being alive. It’s hard living in a time of active eugenics when health professionals no longer take any infection precautions and actively promote euthanasia. I have lost count of the number of times this year I have said “no” to the suggestion of the euthanasia clinic.
I remember a time when it was frowned upon to tell people they should die. Now certain people (those with disabilities and certain medical conditions) are actively encouraged. People seem to think I am a burden on society.
I am very happy to be alive. I love being here. I work full time and help the abused cats in my area that have been used as bait for the dog fighting ring. Yet, for some reason, I am one of the ones that is supposed to “fall by the wayside.” People frequently say things to my face like, “why aren’t you dead already?”
The physical injuries and abuse from the neighbors escalated in 2024. I reported their behavior in 2023. Several other houses on neighboring streets made reports also. We were all retaliated against. Since anyone complaining about the boom cars has experienced retaliation, the people who are operating the boom cars got the green light that their behavior is not only acceptable, but welcomed, by the village. Their behavior in 2024 was worse than 2023.
I would like the behavior to stop. I have this expectation that I should be able to live in my home free from physical injury. This is a unreasonably high expectation for this village. The boom cars advertise drugs for sale, and we need to support local business, after all.
Some people have suggested that the way to deal with the neighbor abuse is euthanasia. If you don’t like being abused, you should die.
This does not make any sense to me. Again, I am happy to be alive. I feel like I give back to the community. I ran the book club at the library and served on multiple non-profit boards in the area.
For some reason, the village says that people who live in this area deserve to be abused by the 3-4 houses who do the boom cars. If you don’t like the abuse, have you considered euthanasia?
I would like the abuse to stop.
In the past year, I have been prevented from sleeping for at least 5 straight months. I was purposefully kept awake and only allowed to sleep 2-3 hours a day. We slept in the car on the side of the road. I own a home, but we had to sleep in the car on the side of the road to get some sleep due to the boom cars.
Even then, the car smells like urine. They built an outhouse directly against my garage using my garage as the fourth wall to their outhouse. I smell human waste every single time I have to drive the car to go anyplace.
That is if I am lucky enough to even be able to leave. The people across the street have started the practice again of actively blocking my driveway. They park cars 2-3 deep across the road. I can’t get out. They won’t move the vehicles. Some of the vehicles are not able to be moved, as they are torn apart in various states of dis/repair in the middle of the street.
In addition to the lack of sleep and physical injuries, I missed over a month of work as a direct result of their actions. My employer is being understanding because they know I am experiencing harassment from the neighbors. There are recordings, photos, and witnesses. The sheriff department says videos and photos are not evidence. Witnesses have to be “approved village residents.”
My savings has been drained from all the work I’ve missed as a direct result of their behavior. On top of that, I have medical bills I have had to pay for injuries as a direct result of their actions. There goes money I had been saving for home improvements.
I was planning to make improvements to this house to be a good homeowner and make the village a better place. The village doesn’t want people to upgrade their homes. If the neighbors harass you to the point you can’t work, they don’t care.
All of this is legal, according to the village, We need to support local businesses. The boom cars advertise drugs for sale. If anyone does complain, they experience retaliation in the forms of more serious physical injuries and threats.
So yes, this has been a very hard year. Two very big middle fingers to the world.
I am happy to be alive. I love being here. I give back to my community and try to make the world around me a better place. I’m very glad to have another ride around the sun.
My only wish for my birthday is for the physical injuries from the neighbors to stop. They need to stop with the boom cars. I can take people telling me to die to my face and asking me why I haven’t gone to the euthanasia clinic yet. Yes, that hurts my feelings. But they are only feelings.
Being hurt physically is worse.
No, I can’t leave. The mortgage company will not allow a short sale. These people have tanked my property value due to the bad behavior. They are so bad, the real estate agent will only show houses here in pairs, and houses here are on the market twice as long as any other location in this entire county.
People blame me for not being financially able to leave. They say it’s my fault. It’s my choice. If I do not want to be physically abused living in this house, I can choose to be homeless. I can choose to be euthanized. People have suggested that homelessness and euthanasia are both better options than living here being abused. I disagree.
I love being alive. I do not want to be euthanized. I would not last long if I had to be homeless again. I should not have to be homeless to avoid being abused by people I don’t even know. With multiple homes on multiple surrounding streets complaining of the noise, you would think the village would make it stop. Instead, they encourage the behavior.
So here is to another ride around the sun. The only thing I want for my birthday is for the boom cars to stop. I want to be able to sleep, work, and live my life without having blood drip out of my ears and permanent hearing damage inflicted upon me by drug dealers. I don’t want my cats to be taken and used as bait for the dog fighting ring if I complain again. I’m pretty sure wanting this to stop is a pipe dream, as no one has been able to help. But it’s my birthday, I can dream.
Quite a few things are going on with Flower. I will give an update on her progress and challenges as well as what helps and what doesn’t help.
Flower is not ready for adoption. She does not wander around independently unless I am not upstairs. That’s why I have a camera on her. With her mobility issues, I need to see if she is walking normally or limping. If she will not walk around enough when I am around for me to be able to tell, then I view her on camera.
Flower is terrified of other people. If she hides from me when I go upstairs unexpectedly, how many months will she hide from a person she doesn’t know in a new house? If Flower is adopted now, that person will be starting from square one trying to earn her trust and socialize her. Her progress over these past four months will be lost.
I am a permanent work from home. She seems me multiple times throughout the day. Even when she does not see me, she hears me all day long. I work in a call center. I literally talk all day. If you are a person who works outside the home 8 hours a day, how are you going to socialize her? Hope she will come out from hiding for the 15 minutes you have to spend with her?
I paint a rosy picture of Flower on social media highlighting her progress and how cute she is. I don’t talk about the struggles and the frustration. If I keep things positive and cute, then someone will be interested in adopting her and reach out for more information.
Someone on social media said I need to update Flower’s information for potential adopters because it is too harsh.
I painted a rose-colored picture. If you think the information I have provided is too harsh, then you truly have no idea of how extensive her needs are and how hard it is trying to find someone who will take on a senior disabled cat with extreme PTSD.
So, if Flower is not ready for adoption, then why did I post the information about her? I posted it because someone forced my hand. I needed to put the information out there because if I didn’t someone who is completely unaware of Flower, her medical needs, or her personality was going to post it instead.
Let me explain.
This is where we get into the pros and cons of keyboard warriors and how social media is helping or not helping this situation.
At Christmas, some well-meaning person did a huge social media push saying they wanted to see Flower adopted in time for Christmas. Was Flower ready for adoption? No. In December, she was still recovering from her injuries. I was still working with the vet office on medication, etc. She was nowhere close to being ready for a forever home.
However, as the result of this well-meaning person wanting to see her adopted before Christmas, some other person, out in AZ reached out. I don’t know this person. They don’t follow me. They don’t know Flower, her story, her medical needs, or her personality. They said they were going to post an adoption link that Thursday.
Excuse me. Who are you?
What was this person going to post? I was frantic thinking I needed to get out in front of this. (A VERY founded concern, as you will see later.)
Because I felt under threat from an unknown person who was going to list Flower, I felt I needed to post more with information about her. So, I did. I posted it. She is not ready for adoption, but I truly felt my hand was forced due to some well-meaning person on the internet.
What about the person in AZ who was going to post?
Well, they did. On Facebook marketplace, one of the most sleezy places of ill repute on the internet. Then I was flooded with inquiries asking if she was available for target practice (to shoot), if the dog fighting ring could “finish her off,” and if she was “good with dogs.”
It was alarming and heartbreaking.
All of this occurred at Christmas, making the holiday even more stressful for me than it already was. All thanks to some keyboard warrior.
Yes, Flower needs a forever home, but this is not the way to do it. Abusing me and forcing Flower into situation she is not ready for is not the way to successfully get her into a forever home.
We will continue with this downward spiral of social media, and then I will let you know the positives it has provided.
But continuing this downward escalator …
I had someone contact me saying Flower needs to go to a local shelter for adoption, as I am not making good choices for her. First, all the local shelters are full. They won’t take her. That’s how we got into this foster mess, remember? Second, even if they weren’t full, she would be euthanized upon intake due to her age and disability. Third, in the very, very small chance they took pity and did not euthanize her (by some miracle), she would then be in a tiny cage surrounded by other cats and would hear barking dogs. This is a cat that is terrified of other cats and was used as bait as a dog fighting ring. Yet, you think those options: 1, 2, and 3, would all be better than what I am doing working with her in my home right now?
Someone else accused me of not being willing to give Flower up if the perfect adopter comes along. Not true. I cannot keep Flower, and I know that. She needs to be the only pet in a home. However, the perfect home has not come along yet. (Have you read anything written above?)
So far, I have had two genuine inquiries into Flower. Both people live 6 hours away. There would be distance to overcome, but I am willing to work with someone to figure things out if they are the perfect adopter. The first person admitted they would not be able to financially provide for Flower’s medical needs. I was grateful for their honesty. The second person, I did say Flower is not ready for adoption due to her behavior, and she needs more medical care in April. The soonest she MIGHT be ready is May. That person decided to leave the situation alone. I respect that.
Bottom line, Flower has a lot of needs I do not discuss because I don’t want to scare away potential adopters. The only people who have expressed interest are those who want to torture and abuse her further.
Now we get to the final negative point of social media before moving on to the positives. The final negative point: victim blaming.
I have been saying that Flower needs to leave by spring. Will she be ready to leave this spring? I don’t know. Probably not. I’m trying to go based on her behavior.
The problem is, I am running out of time.
As much as I want to go at Flower’s pace and set her up for success in a forever home, the fact remains we live in an area with violent neighbors. When they start attacking us in earnest again this spring, I won’t be able to keep us all safe. It’s going to be hard to care for Flower and get her ready for adoption when I am laying on the floor bleeding from a neighbor attack (no, the police won’t respond. Battery is not a crime here.)
Then comes the victim blaming. Someone on social media said the abuse is my fault. It’s my choice to live here and be abused and not moved.
As anyone who has known me for a long time knows, I have tried to get the abuse to stop. I want to move. But when apartment rents are more than my monthly income and I can’t get approved to rent, or won’t take cats, how am I supposed to leave? The mortgage company won’t approve a short sale of the house. I will have to stop paying the mortgage and voluntarily let it go into foreclosure to get my name off the deed. With a foreclosure on your record, you can’t get approved for an apartment.
Yet, according to this person on the internet, this is all my fault. It is my choice not to move. I could choose to be homeless and not be abused. Of course, then all the cats would be euthanized too, and I wouldn’t have to worry about fostering Flower. Thank you, keyboard warrior, for blaming the victim in a criminal harassment case. I understand I deserve to be abused simply because I exist. The village does not want working people who pay their bills to live here. We need more drug dealers and animal abusers.
This person even said, “I know you will probably block me for this …” and proceeded to blame the victim for the abuse. If you know victim blaming is wrong, why did you do it? Why did you kick someone when they are down and attack someone who is already struggling?
I did not block that person. Only out of shock. I previously had positive interactions with this person. I’m kind of hoping their conscious will kick in and they will apologize for their remarks because they know victim blaming is wrong.
Yes, I understand it is my choice to stay in this house and be abused by these people I don’t even know. I alternative is being homeless and having the cats all euthanized. Thank you for suggesting euthanasia as a viable option. I have medical professionals suggesting euthanasia too since I am someone who is supposed to “fall by the wayside.”
That is the downward spiral of social media. Keyboard warriors saying my rosy picture of Flower is too harsh, victims deserve to be abused (your other choices are euthanasia and homelessness – those are better!), and random people halfway across the country listing animals they know nothing about for adoption.
Yes, Flower needs a home.
I would keep her, but she truly needs to be an only pet. I do not give her that label lightly. I am going based on her behavior. I am going on what’s best for her (even though I have been accused of NOT doing what is best for her).
I do worry I am running out of time. If the neighbors would stop their behavior and not attack us, then I could go at Flower’s pace with everything. I have no problem working with her to get her into a forever home. The problem is that the sheriff department won’t respond to criminal harassment. They have some sort of special relationship with these people. I can’t afford or find a criminal lawyer. Those things take time. Every single time I have made a report or complained, I have gotten retaliation in the form of more injuries. I have been told if I complain again, my cats will be taken and used as bait for the dog fighting ring.
So, unless you are a criminal lawyer willing to help me …
Now that we have given a brief overview of the negativity I have experienced on social media since trapping and helping Flower, we will move to the positive. Yes, I truly did do a brief overview of negativity. I painted you another rosy picture of just how mean people have been to me.
The positivity –
There are many people who have been encouraging and helpful on social media. I have gotten encouraging comments and advice. Other fosters have reached out to help. I really need that, especially since the shelter is not helping me even with advice. I have never fostered before. I am truly on my own.
Some people I trust have been reaching out to their social networks trying to find an appropriate adopter for Flower. I truly appreciate their efforts.
People have donated gift cards to chewy and Amazon. I have not asked for financial help, but it has helped a LOT. I have gotten things for Flower. I am going through a lot more cat litter than before with two additional litter pans.
There have also been donations to my paypal, which has also been helpful. Flower means extra vet bills, and her appointments so far have all been emergency due to her injuries. She needed vaccines and blood tests.
Flower came in riddled with fleas and worms. I am having to Revolution Plus all the cats in this house. I have not had to deal with fleas in over a decade. The Revolution Plus is costing about $110 a month. That is an extra expensive I never expected and did not have prior to helping Flower.
The vet office always asks if we were using flea medication. I always said no. None of my house cats ever had fleas. The vet office checks them for fleas. They have none. They don’t go outside. Since Flower brought in fleas and worms, I now must treat everyone.
We are all struggling with the cost of living right now. While I will gladly provide everything for my cats that they need, the donations have been helpful in covering these extra expenses.
I had to get screens to screen off areas for Flower. I got baby food to administer her medication. She has her own blankets and toys. She needed some accessibility items like pet steps and elevated food and water bowls.
The pet community on social media has been generous with time and resources in helping me through this challenging time. I am trying to keep everyone safe and make good choices for everyone involved. When Flower leaves me and goes to her forever home, it truly needs to be her forever home. This cat already has severe PTSD. If she is adopted and returned, she will be even more traumatized. To be honest, if that happened, she may need to be euthanized at that point. I truly do not think this cat can handle any more trauma than she already has.
Flower is a sweetheart. She is gentle and loving. She is still scared of everything. She is attached to me but still has her moments when she hides from me. This is why I say she is not ready for adoption. She needs more confidence. Flower also hides from visitors. If she is adopted now, she will hide for MONTHS. If you work out of the house 8 hours a day, you will basically have a room mate cat you never see. Hopefully you have a camera so you can see if she is limping or not. Otherwise, you will have a traumatized cat who is in pan and not getting any help.
That’s not a life.
I want to set Flower up for success in a forever home. She can’t stay here because she is too stressed with my house cats. I can’t live in a divided house. Asking us to live in a divided house is not fair to any of us. I can’t keep her safe from neighbor attacks if she must be separate. We need to all be together to leave or find safety when they attack. So, she is going to be traumatized being thrown in with my house cats when that happens.
No one will stop the violent neighbors from attacking and physically injuring us. This is the reality in which we live.
I have hope that the right adopter will come along for Flower. Someone who has the time and patience to work with her. Someone who will take the time to get to know me and get to know Flower and when I say, “maybe May” will say, “ok, let’s keep talking and see how she is doing.”
People like the idea of Flower, but when I give detail of her medical needs and behavior, they realize they can’t handle her. That’s ok. I appreciate the honesty. Flower needs a good match. Flower needs to be the only pet in a home with an experience cat person. The person should be retired or WFH so they can spend the time she needs socializing her. This person needs to be comfortable with the needs of a senior, disabled cat.
Basically, Flower needs a unicorn.
That is exactly what Flower’s forever home Is going to be. A unicorn,
I would keep her, but I have THREE resident cats. I hold out hope that she will stop fearing them and she can just stay here. But based on Flower’s behavior, I can tell you that hope gets smaller each day. Flower would truly flourish in an only pet home. This situation is not sustainable for any of us. It is not fair to any of us either.
For all you keyboard warriors out there – think before you type. Would you say that in person? You know that victim blaming is wrong, yet you do it anyway? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Think about how your actions on the internet are impacting other people. You want Flower adopted before Christmas, only to have someone who doesn’t know her post something about her, and then the foster parent is inundated with abuse requests wanting to use her for target practice? Some Christmas that was.
Yes, Flower needs a forever home. No, she is not ready to leave yet. However, I fully believe her person is out there. Even though she is not ready to leave now, that person will reach out and start to ask questions and get to know both me and Flower so that all three of us can decide together when it is time for Flower to transition homes.
So yes, please keep sharing about Flower. Keep talking about her. Just because Flower is not ready yet, doesn’t mean people should not ask about adopting her. Because her perfect person is out there and will work with us to make the transition happen in the way that’s best for FLOWER.
Even though I have been accused of not being fair to Flower, I have only tried to do what is best for her from day one. I can tell you right now, it would have been a hell of a lot easier for me to just completely ignore her limping back in October. But I didn’t. I trapped her and got her medical care because she was injured. I’m giving her a home when the shelter said they were full and would not help. I’m refusing to euthanize her, when the rest of the world says she should be euthanized. (The vet says there is NO reason to euthanize this cat.) Yet somehow, I’m not being fair?
I’m not a perfect person. I’m just trying to help this injured cat.
Please keep sharing Flower. Her person is out there and will work with us to make it happen.
Happy 13th Birthday, Jude! Today is also Jude’s 11th Gotcha Day. He was adopted on Valentine’s Day when he was two years old. Jude will always be my valentine. He truly took a sad song and made it better.
Jude was with Kitty for the last few years of Kitty’s life. Kitty passed away from cancer shortly before age 19. I had told Jude that he was going to be an only child. But he acted like he was lonely, so almost a year after Kitty passed away, Jude did get a sibling when I adopted Simon.
Jude is Lead Coworker in our house. After seeing me through my master’s degree years ago, he knows how to be the perfect coworker. There is a cat bed in front of a window right next to my workstation. It is one of Jude’s favorite places to be. He typically spends at least half the workday, if not more, performing his Lead Coworker duties.
He is the first cat that I was able to carrier train, and It was completely on accident. Jude is VERY food motivated. Kitty was a slow eater in the last few years of his life. I started feeding Jude and Kitty both in their carriers so that Jude was not able to steal Kitty’s food and Kitty could take his time eating. Jude has been carrier trained ever since. It comes in handy when it is time to take him in for vet visits and for emergencies like last year’s tornado.
While not a snuggle bug like Simon, Jude does get along well with both Simon and Jolene. You often see Jude grooming his siblings and being groomed in return. Jude also plays with Simon. He thinks about playing with Jolene but then thinks twice about it. Jude is more likely to cuddle Jolene than he is to play with her. Jolene is in charge.
Jude pretty much dictates meal times and often ropes in Simon and Jolene to beg for food with him. He makes sure everyone gets plenty of treats.
When he is not working, Jude’s favorite place to sleep is on my bed. He sleeps in the bed with me every night. All the cats do. Jude also sleeps on the bed during the day. He has always liked to be on the bed.
As Jude ages, he is having some mobility challenges and signs of dementia. He is still strong in both mind and spirit. You know when Jude wants something! He is starting to struggle with stairs and sometimes with jumping. We do have pet steps to help.
The water bowls are all elevated for orthopedic reasons. Jude is the one of the three that does the best job of using the elevated bowls properly. He sits in front of the water station and has his drink of water. Simon and Jolene seem to be confused by elevated water bowls and climb up on the shelf to drink the water. The shelf helps Jude access water with his mobility.
As Jude has gotten older, he has become more loving. Jude was always a cat that preferred to sit next to you, not directly on your lap. In the past year or two, Jude has started to sit on my lap. However, he is very specific about his lap sitting. If I move at all, he is gone!
Jude does not like riding in the car and screams all the way to and from the vet office. Once at the vet office, he is fine. He just does not like to travel. I always tell any new vet techs that if they offer Jude food, he will be their new best friend. He is very highly food motivated.
Jude has been with me a long time through many ups and downs. He came into my life when I was having a very challenging time and made it better. He has always been here for me. I love Jude so much. He is such an inspiration and a great leader for our family.
Happy 13th Birthday, Jude! You will always be my valentine.
Jolene transporting her favorite stuffy, ghost bear. Ghost bear is moved daily.
It was 5 years ago today, on January 14, 2020 that Jolene came home from the shelter and joined our family. She has now officially been a member of our family longer than she was homeless. Jolene was 5 years old whe I adopted her. She had been found dumped in a box with her kittens. Of course, all her kittens were adopted first. Then Jolene picked me out when I was at the shelter looking for a cat friendly DOG.
Jolene is the Queen of our house and livened things up when she arrived. I never though life was boring, but when you compare life from before Jolene to life with Jolene – life before Jolene was boring.
Jolene gets both Jude and Simon to play in ways that they did not play prior to her arrival. Jude and Simon did play with each other. However, with Jolene around, they play much more. Simon loves playing with Jolene. They play quite frequently throughout the day. They love chasing each other up and down stairs and wrestling.
Jude prefers to play by himself. However, I have noticed that Jude plays more frequently since Jolene arrived. It’s almost like Jolene has given the boys” permission” to be playful.
Jolene moves stuffies around. Her favorite stuffies, ghost bear and carrot, are moved daily. She has to be sure that her stuffies are where she wants them before bed. She loves the cacti scratching posts and can frequently be found climbing them as well.
Jolene is our Lead Hedgewatch-er. She knows everything that is going on inside the house and outside. She keeps a diligent eye on all the birds, squirrels, outside cats and neighbors. She goes to the basement with me every morning to check the live traps for mice. If there is a mouse in the live trap, she bats the tube to bring it to my attention that a mouse needs to be released outside.
I always had boys cats prior to Jolene. She is my first girl and has my girl baby name. I could not ask for a more perfect daughter. She brings so much life and love to our lives.
She does coworker shifts with me during the day, sitting in my lap while I work. She sleeps with me every single night. She cuddles and cleans both Jude and Simon.
Jude is the oldest of the three. He likes to think he is in charge. Jolene is the one in charge. Jude does not play with Jolene very often. He thinks about it, then thinks better of it. Jolene is a lot smaller than Jude, but she is in charge and does not put up with his crap. Jolene gives Jude a look and Jude backs down.
Simon is the youngest of the three. Sometimes Jolene does treat him like a kitten. I did see her once grab the back of his neck like a kitten and try to drag him. She did not get very far, as Simon is so much bigger than she is. But Jolene does treat Simon like a kitten sometimes. She cuddles him like a kitten when they sleep on bed with me at night.
Everyone who has met Jolene loves her. She comes out of the box at the vet office with confidence. She acts like she owns the place! Jolene is very particular on what she likes and doesn’t like. If you do something she doesn’t like, I call her Miss Sassy Pants. She makes it known when she doesn’t like something.
Jolene is the life and the love of our lives. She makes this house a home. I am very fortunate in that I have a bonded trio. Both the boys love Jolene to pieces. We are so lucky she picked me out that day at the shelter.
Happy Gotcha Day, Jolene! We are so happy to have you as part of our family!
rewindliveslow 