A few years ago, I read an article that interviewed immigrants about the one item that reminded them of their home country. I have not been able to find the article to link it.
Basically, they were all asked what one item they had with them in their new country that always reminded them of their home country. Sometimes people immigrate in a state of duress. They are only able to take what they can quickly grab. Other times, people have more time and resources to immigrate and can more carefully curate what they take with them to their new country.
Once the cats have all passed away from natural causes at the normal end of their lives, my goal is to leave the country. That article I read years ago made me think of what one item I would take with me that would remind me of the USA.
In the article, a musician told of a piece of sheet music he has in his native language. Someone else showed a bracelet that had been made by their artisan grandmother. Another person had a favorite book in their native language.
What one thing would I take that would remind me of the USA?
This is a hard question. There is not a lot to be happy about in the USA right now.
Then I happened to think of a treasured item I have in my one box of mementos that 100% would remind me of the USA.
It is my LOVE stamp pin.
The 2023 Love stamp is my favorite US stamp of all time. I ordered so many sheets of the cat and dog love stamps, I had enough to use on all of my Christmas cards for 2024 also.
I bought the Love stamp pin because I enjoyed that stamp so much. It was my first time purchasing anything stamp related. I typically just use stamps to mail my bills and don’t give a thought or care to the design of the stamp.
However, the 2023 love stamp is my favorite. I actively sought it out to be able to use it.
The US postal service holds many memories for me. It was an essential service for my grandparent’s rural farm. They were immigrants here from Austria.
The US postal service is essential in delivering medications and keeping us all connected. I love Christmas cards, birthday cards, and handwritten letters. In a world of increasing technology, there is still something to be said for the joy of seeing a letter in the mail that is not a bill.
When I leave the country, the one item I will take to remind me of the USA is my 2023 love pin.
Being attacked and physically injured by the neighbors in 2023 was a huge shock. I never expected something like that to happen when I bought this house. It was even more shocking and disappointing that when I reported the injuries and behavior to the village and the sheriff department, I was gaslit and experienced retaliation. Other people in the village have also complained about the boom cars and experienced retaliation. The difference between the other people in the village complaining about the boom cars and me is that those other people live on other streets. I live in the house directly across from and next to the houses with the boom cars. It’s worse for me.
In 2024, I decided I need to try to come up with a safety plan in case it happened again. It’s obvious that neither the village nor the sheriff department are going to keep us safe from physical injury. My plan was that we would just leave when they do the boom car behavior.
This safety plan failed epically for multiple reasons. Emboldened by the fact that everyone who complained about the boom cars in 2023 experienced retaliation, they got worse in 2024. They were constant for 18-21 hours a day for at least 5 months. I cannot afford to live in a hotel, apartment, or a second residence for several months per year.
We did spend a night in the car on the side of the road like homeless people. We are not homeless. I own a home. I own property. But I was so exhausted after several months of only 3 hours of sleep per day and blood dripping out of my ears, we needed a break. We slept in the car.
Mind you, the car smells like urine. That was not a pleasant experience. The neighbors have an outhouse directly against my garage, using my garage as the fourth wall to their outhouse. It gets daily use. Not to mention, their children came onto my property without permission and threw rocks at my car, trying to damage and disable it. I was told that their children were allowed to come onto my property without my permission and throw rocks at my car because “they own the street.”
This fall, the neighbors also started blocking my driveway again. Often, I am unable to leave. Once, I went to the pharmacy and was blocked from returning home for three hours. I wasn’t feeling well. I wanted to lie down. I could not physically reach my house.
It’s like playing Russian roulette trying to figure out when I can leave the house when the driveway is not blocked and hoping I will be able to return home.
No, the police will not respond to this situation. I was told it is legal for people to park on the side of the road, even if they park directly in front of a driveway, completely blocking access to the property.
The man who does my snowplowing was not even able to plow my driveway once this winter because they were blocking my driveway with their vehicle. They refused to move the car. I had to pay for snowplowing that did not actually happen because my driveway could not be accessed.
I have been told if I complain about the neighbor abuse again, my cats will be taken and used as bait for the dog fighting ring. I feel like I have used all my options. There is no way to make the behavior stop.
We need to be safe. I now have permanent hearing damage because of their actions. The cats (especially Jolene) do too.
A new safety plan is needed this year, especially since leaving is not an option. They physically prevent me from leaving.
I reached out to a sound engineering company in Pennsylvania run by a retired Navy veteran. I asked them to do an analysis about soundproofing the house – even just one room so we have a safe place. I provided them with photos, videos, and decibel reading of the noise from the boom cars.
The gentleman from the residential section of the sound engineering firm shook his head. He said what we are experiencing far exceeds what is normal in a residential setting. Boom cars are typically illegal, especially in residential areas. The vehicles are supposed to be impounded and the sound systems removed.
I told him there is a NYS vehicle law that states that sound from vehicles is not supposed to exceed 70db at the property line. However, NYS laws do not apply in this village. The village encourages the boom cars.
The residential sound engineer referred me to the commercial sound engineer – this is the person who does soundproofing for things like gun firing ranges.
The commercial person also said what I am experiencing far exceeds even a gun firing range in that the noise I am experiencing is constant, for hours. The noise at a gun firing range is intermittent.
The analysis they provided is that the house cannot be soundproofed for this level of noise. It cannot be retrofitted. The noise I am experiencing far exceeds what people should experience in a home.
They did suggest a room of new construction – new build – be built in the basement with shock absorbers in the walls. They suggested the basement since all the db readings I have recorded are on the first floor of my home. Although, the noise in the basement is bad too. If you set a glass of water on the workbench in the basement, the water in the glass “jumps” due to the level of noise they produce. It’s that loud.
We end up stuck in this house with no way to leave and no way to make it stop.
I feel helpless. No one can make this stop, and no one cares.
I don’t like feeling helpless. I feel like I need to do something to try to protect me and the cats.
We have been working on our tornado training as the result of the tornado we had last summer. The basement is our safe place for tornadoes. While the excessive noise from the boom cars is still excessive in the basement, it’s not as bad (not by much) as the first floor.
So, the basement seems to be the safest place in the house. I say that with a grain of salt. The basement is not safe either. The noise is excessive down there also. Not to mention, the radon in the basement is high. Radon levels are supposed to be 4 or below. Radon levels in our basement are well over 30. I had been saving money for radon mitigation, but all that money has been drained since the neighbors behavior prevents me from working.
With both tornadoes and neighbor abuse in mind, the basement seems like the best bet. Jude and Jolene are trained to go to the basement on their own. Simon is still working on carrier training. He is scared of both the carrier and the basement.
I decided to get two more carriers to put in the basement, that way there are carriers already down there. It makes things easier for me when there is a tornado – Jude and Jolene will go to the basement, I just need to grab Simon. If carriers are already in the basement, then I do not have to worry about trying to grab those too in addition to getting everyone down there for safety.
I bought a roll of mass loaded vinyl and used it to put around the carriers. I also covered them with my old bed comforter. I know that mass loaded vinyl will not help at all with the level of noise we are experiencing from the boom cars, but I feel like I need to do something to keep us safe.
I also got a pair of gun range headphones for me to wear in the basement. They are pretty much a waste of money. You can still hear the booming even with gun range headphones. The noise is that excessive. Still, if there is any way to prevent blood dripping from ears – it’s worth a try?
This is our safety plan for 2025 since our safety plan for 2024 failed epically. In addition to subjecting us to excessive noise, the neighbors are now physically preventing us from leaving. I’m just trying to do the best I can to stay safe. I don’t know what more to do.
At the very least, it will be helpful to have the carriers in the basement for tornadoes. I can put the cats in the carriers once they are in the basement. It just makes it easier for me to get us all down there if there are some tornado supplies already there.
Quite a few things are going on with Flower. I will give an update on her progress and challenges as well as what helps and what doesn’t help.
Flower is not ready for adoption. She does not wander around independently unless I am not upstairs. That’s why I have a camera on her. With her mobility issues, I need to see if she is walking normally or limping. If she will not walk around enough when I am around for me to be able to tell, then I view her on camera.
Flower is terrified of other people. If she hides from me when I go upstairs unexpectedly, how many months will she hide from a person she doesn’t know in a new house? If Flower is adopted now, that person will be starting from square one trying to earn her trust and socialize her. Her progress over these past four months will be lost.
I am a permanent work from home. She seems me multiple times throughout the day. Even when she does not see me, she hears me all day long. I work in a call center. I literally talk all day. If you are a person who works outside the home 8 hours a day, how are you going to socialize her? Hope she will come out from hiding for the 15 minutes you have to spend with her?
I paint a rosy picture of Flower on social media highlighting her progress and how cute she is. I don’t talk about the struggles and the frustration. If I keep things positive and cute, then someone will be interested in adopting her and reach out for more information.
Someone on social media said I need to update Flower’s information for potential adopters because it is too harsh.
I painted a rose-colored picture. If you think the information I have provided is too harsh, then you truly have no idea of how extensive her needs are and how hard it is trying to find someone who will take on a senior disabled cat with extreme PTSD.
So, if Flower is not ready for adoption, then why did I post the information about her? I posted it because someone forced my hand. I needed to put the information out there because if I didn’t someone who is completely unaware of Flower, her medical needs, or her personality was going to post it instead.
Let me explain.
This is where we get into the pros and cons of keyboard warriors and how social media is helping or not helping this situation.
At Christmas, some well-meaning person did a huge social media push saying they wanted to see Flower adopted in time for Christmas. Was Flower ready for adoption? No. In December, she was still recovering from her injuries. I was still working with the vet office on medication, etc. She was nowhere close to being ready for a forever home.
However, as the result of this well-meaning person wanting to see her adopted before Christmas, some other person, out in AZ reached out. I don’t know this person. They don’t follow me. They don’t know Flower, her story, her medical needs, or her personality. They said they were going to post an adoption link that Thursday.
Excuse me. Who are you?
What was this person going to post? I was frantic thinking I needed to get out in front of this. (A VERY founded concern, as you will see later.)
Because I felt under threat from an unknown person who was going to list Flower, I felt I needed to post more with information about her. So, I did. I posted it. She is not ready for adoption, but I truly felt my hand was forced due to some well-meaning person on the internet.
What about the person in AZ who was going to post?
Well, they did. On Facebook marketplace, one of the most sleezy places of ill repute on the internet. Then I was flooded with inquiries asking if she was available for target practice (to shoot), if the dog fighting ring could “finish her off,” and if she was “good with dogs.”
It was alarming and heartbreaking.
All of this occurred at Christmas, making the holiday even more stressful for me than it already was. All thanks to some keyboard warrior.
Yes, Flower needs a forever home, but this is not the way to do it. Abusing me and forcing Flower into situation she is not ready for is not the way to successfully get her into a forever home.
We will continue with this downward spiral of social media, and then I will let you know the positives it has provided.
But continuing this downward escalator …
I had someone contact me saying Flower needs to go to a local shelter for adoption, as I am not making good choices for her. First, all the local shelters are full. They won’t take her. That’s how we got into this foster mess, remember? Second, even if they weren’t full, she would be euthanized upon intake due to her age and disability. Third, in the very, very small chance they took pity and did not euthanize her (by some miracle), she would then be in a tiny cage surrounded by other cats and would hear barking dogs. This is a cat that is terrified of other cats and was used as bait as a dog fighting ring. Yet, you think those options: 1, 2, and 3, would all be better than what I am doing working with her in my home right now?
Someone else accused me of not being willing to give Flower up if the perfect adopter comes along. Not true. I cannot keep Flower, and I know that. She needs to be the only pet in a home. However, the perfect home has not come along yet. (Have you read anything written above?)
So far, I have had two genuine inquiries into Flower. Both people live 6 hours away. There would be distance to overcome, but I am willing to work with someone to figure things out if they are the perfect adopter. The first person admitted they would not be able to financially provide for Flower’s medical needs. I was grateful for their honesty. The second person, I did say Flower is not ready for adoption due to her behavior, and she needs more medical care in April. The soonest she MIGHT be ready is May. That person decided to leave the situation alone. I respect that.
Bottom line, Flower has a lot of needs I do not discuss because I don’t want to scare away potential adopters. The only people who have expressed interest are those who want to torture and abuse her further.
Now we get to the final negative point of social media before moving on to the positives. The final negative point: victim blaming.
I have been saying that Flower needs to leave by spring. Will she be ready to leave this spring? I don’t know. Probably not. I’m trying to go based on her behavior.
The problem is, I am running out of time.
As much as I want to go at Flower’s pace and set her up for success in a forever home, the fact remains we live in an area with violent neighbors. When they start attacking us in earnest again this spring, I won’t be able to keep us all safe. It’s going to be hard to care for Flower and get her ready for adoption when I am laying on the floor bleeding from a neighbor attack (no, the police won’t respond. Battery is not a crime here.)
Then comes the victim blaming. Someone on social media said the abuse is my fault. It’s my choice to live here and be abused and not moved.
As anyone who has known me for a long time knows, I have tried to get the abuse to stop. I want to move. But when apartment rents are more than my monthly income and I can’t get approved to rent, or won’t take cats, how am I supposed to leave? The mortgage company won’t approve a short sale of the house. I will have to stop paying the mortgage and voluntarily let it go into foreclosure to get my name off the deed. With a foreclosure on your record, you can’t get approved for an apartment.
Yet, according to this person on the internet, this is all my fault. It is my choice not to move. I could choose to be homeless and not be abused. Of course, then all the cats would be euthanized too, and I wouldn’t have to worry about fostering Flower. Thank you, keyboard warrior, for blaming the victim in a criminal harassment case. I understand I deserve to be abused simply because I exist. The village does not want working people who pay their bills to live here. We need more drug dealers and animal abusers.
This person even said, “I know you will probably block me for this …” and proceeded to blame the victim for the abuse. If you know victim blaming is wrong, why did you do it? Why did you kick someone when they are down and attack someone who is already struggling?
I did not block that person. Only out of shock. I previously had positive interactions with this person. I’m kind of hoping their conscious will kick in and they will apologize for their remarks because they know victim blaming is wrong.
Yes, I understand it is my choice to stay in this house and be abused by these people I don’t even know. I alternative is being homeless and having the cats all euthanized. Thank you for suggesting euthanasia as a viable option. I have medical professionals suggesting euthanasia too since I am someone who is supposed to “fall by the wayside.”
That is the downward spiral of social media. Keyboard warriors saying my rosy picture of Flower is too harsh, victims deserve to be abused (your other choices are euthanasia and homelessness – those are better!), and random people halfway across the country listing animals they know nothing about for adoption.
Yes, Flower needs a home.
I would keep her, but she truly needs to be an only pet. I do not give her that label lightly. I am going based on her behavior. I am going on what’s best for her (even though I have been accused of NOT doing what is best for her).
I do worry I am running out of time. If the neighbors would stop their behavior and not attack us, then I could go at Flower’s pace with everything. I have no problem working with her to get her into a forever home. The problem is that the sheriff department won’t respond to criminal harassment. They have some sort of special relationship with these people. I can’t afford or find a criminal lawyer. Those things take time. Every single time I have made a report or complained, I have gotten retaliation in the form of more injuries. I have been told if I complain again, my cats will be taken and used as bait for the dog fighting ring.
So, unless you are a criminal lawyer willing to help me …
Now that we have given a brief overview of the negativity I have experienced on social media since trapping and helping Flower, we will move to the positive. Yes, I truly did do a brief overview of negativity. I painted you another rosy picture of just how mean people have been to me.
The positivity –
There are many people who have been encouraging and helpful on social media. I have gotten encouraging comments and advice. Other fosters have reached out to help. I really need that, especially since the shelter is not helping me even with advice. I have never fostered before. I am truly on my own.
Some people I trust have been reaching out to their social networks trying to find an appropriate adopter for Flower. I truly appreciate their efforts.
People have donated gift cards to chewy and Amazon. I have not asked for financial help, but it has helped a LOT. I have gotten things for Flower. I am going through a lot more cat litter than before with two additional litter pans.
There have also been donations to my paypal, which has also been helpful. Flower means extra vet bills, and her appointments so far have all been emergency due to her injuries. She needed vaccines and blood tests.
Flower came in riddled with fleas and worms. I am having to Revolution Plus all the cats in this house. I have not had to deal with fleas in over a decade. The Revolution Plus is costing about $110 a month. That is an extra expensive I never expected and did not have prior to helping Flower.
The vet office always asks if we were using flea medication. I always said no. None of my house cats ever had fleas. The vet office checks them for fleas. They have none. They don’t go outside. Since Flower brought in fleas and worms, I now must treat everyone.
We are all struggling with the cost of living right now. While I will gladly provide everything for my cats that they need, the donations have been helpful in covering these extra expenses.
I had to get screens to screen off areas for Flower. I got baby food to administer her medication. She has her own blankets and toys. She needed some accessibility items like pet steps and elevated food and water bowls.
The pet community on social media has been generous with time and resources in helping me through this challenging time. I am trying to keep everyone safe and make good choices for everyone involved. When Flower leaves me and goes to her forever home, it truly needs to be her forever home. This cat already has severe PTSD. If she is adopted and returned, she will be even more traumatized. To be honest, if that happened, she may need to be euthanized at that point. I truly do not think this cat can handle any more trauma than she already has.
Flower is a sweetheart. She is gentle and loving. She is still scared of everything. She is attached to me but still has her moments when she hides from me. This is why I say she is not ready for adoption. She needs more confidence. Flower also hides from visitors. If she is adopted now, she will hide for MONTHS. If you work out of the house 8 hours a day, you will basically have a room mate cat you never see. Hopefully you have a camera so you can see if she is limping or not. Otherwise, you will have a traumatized cat who is in pan and not getting any help.
That’s not a life.
I want to set Flower up for success in a forever home. She can’t stay here because she is too stressed with my house cats. I can’t live in a divided house. Asking us to live in a divided house is not fair to any of us. I can’t keep her safe from neighbor attacks if she must be separate. We need to all be together to leave or find safety when they attack. So, she is going to be traumatized being thrown in with my house cats when that happens.
No one will stop the violent neighbors from attacking and physically injuring us. This is the reality in which we live.
I have hope that the right adopter will come along for Flower. Someone who has the time and patience to work with her. Someone who will take the time to get to know me and get to know Flower and when I say, “maybe May” will say, “ok, let’s keep talking and see how she is doing.”
People like the idea of Flower, but when I give detail of her medical needs and behavior, they realize they can’t handle her. That’s ok. I appreciate the honesty. Flower needs a good match. Flower needs to be the only pet in a home with an experience cat person. The person should be retired or WFH so they can spend the time she needs socializing her. This person needs to be comfortable with the needs of a senior, disabled cat.
Basically, Flower needs a unicorn.
That is exactly what Flower’s forever home Is going to be. A unicorn,
I would keep her, but I have THREE resident cats. I hold out hope that she will stop fearing them and she can just stay here. But based on Flower’s behavior, I can tell you that hope gets smaller each day. Flower would truly flourish in an only pet home. This situation is not sustainable for any of us. It is not fair to any of us either.
For all you keyboard warriors out there – think before you type. Would you say that in person? You know that victim blaming is wrong, yet you do it anyway? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Think about how your actions on the internet are impacting other people. You want Flower adopted before Christmas, only to have someone who doesn’t know her post something about her, and then the foster parent is inundated with abuse requests wanting to use her for target practice? Some Christmas that was.
Yes, Flower needs a forever home. No, she is not ready to leave yet. However, I fully believe her person is out there. Even though she is not ready to leave now, that person will reach out and start to ask questions and get to know both me and Flower so that all three of us can decide together when it is time for Flower to transition homes.
So yes, please keep sharing about Flower. Keep talking about her. Just because Flower is not ready yet, doesn’t mean people should not ask about adopting her. Because her perfect person is out there and will work with us to make the transition happen in the way that’s best for FLOWER.
Even though I have been accused of not being fair to Flower, I have only tried to do what is best for her from day one. I can tell you right now, it would have been a hell of a lot easier for me to just completely ignore her limping back in October. But I didn’t. I trapped her and got her medical care because she was injured. I’m giving her a home when the shelter said they were full and would not help. I’m refusing to euthanize her, when the rest of the world says she should be euthanized. (The vet says there is NO reason to euthanize this cat.) Yet somehow, I’m not being fair?
I’m not a perfect person. I’m just trying to help this injured cat.
Please keep sharing Flower. Her person is out there and will work with us to make it happen.
Flower was used as bait by a dog fighting ring. I have been very clear about that from day one. Some people have inquired about adopting Flower. I tell them she was used as bait by a dog fighting ring, tell them about her injuries, mobility issues and medical needs. People then proceed to ask me if she is okay with dogs?
I will no longer answer that question. This cat was brutally injured by dogs on purpose, then thrown out like trash. They either thought she was dead or just threw her out to die from her injuries. You think she can live with dogs? I taught pre-school for 15 years and always said there was no such thing as a stupid question. I stand corrected.
Now that Flower has been with me for two months as a foster, I have learned some things about her needs for a forever home and want to provide an update. Many people have asked. It is disheartening for me to detail things to people only to have them ask questions like “is she okay with dogs?”
If you intend to make a serious inquiry to adopt Flower, then you need to read all of this and be very clear about her needs. Do not waste my time with questions about things like dogs that I have clearly stated from day one: NO DOGS.
I don’t mean to be rude, but she deserves the BEST POSSIBLE forever home with ALL THE LOVE. This cat has been to HELL and back.
I never intended to foster. I am one person with three house cats of my own. I have a disability, I work full-time, and I experience continual and repeated criminal harassment from my neighbors that results in physical injury. Taking on Flower has been a challenge for me with everything else I am facing. It is very difficult for me to keep everyone safe with the way the neighbors behave. I have zero regrets about helping her. But I also don’t have spoons to deal with stupidity.
I am not an official foster. When I contacted the shelter to report her injury, they said they were full. They would not help. I trapped her and got her to medical care. The shelter is not offering any support or advice or help to find her a forever home. They are full and overwhelmed. Their attitude was to shrug and say, “oh well.” We do not have any humane charities here that responds to injured animals. I have no regrets about trapping her or helping her. I truly believe that if she was outside for another winter, she would have seized up with the arthritis and froze to death, unable to move to reach the insulated cat shelters I provide.
Back to Flower’s needs:
Flower needs to be adopted by an experienced cat person. However, she needs to be the ONLY PET in the home. She would be perfect for someone who may have lost a furbaby and is ready to love again.
Flower has been here for two months. My house cats have been completely welcoming and accommodating. None of my house cats have hissed, growled, or in any way acted aggressively to Flower. They either ignore her completely or approach slowly in a questioning manner.
Flower is terrified of my house cats. She was bullied by other cats outside. Due to her mobility issues, Flower cannot defend herself. Her only ways of defense are to hide and to hiss. Flower hisses and growls at my house cats. She is afraid of them. Even when they are ignoring her and pass by as a normal course of their day, she is scared.
It would not be fair to Flower to have to share her forever home with another pet when she is clearly scared of other cats. We all know cat introductions are a long and tedious process to be sure they are done right. As I’ve said, Flower has been here two months with no aggression from my house cats. She sees them through a screen door. Yet she is terrified when the pass by.
Flower should be with someone home a lot. A retired person or WFH home would be great. She loves attention and would flourish where she can be the center of attention.
To interact with Flower, you need to get on the floor.
Flower cannot jump or climb. I have provided pet steps. They are too much for her. Her forever home may want to consider a ramp to see if that is an option.
She may want to sit in your lap, but she cannot physically get there. You need to pick her up, put her on your lap, and put her back down. For safety reasons, I do this when sitting on the floor in case she gets scared or wants to leave my lap. If I am sitting on the floor, she has only a few inches down and won’t get hurt like she would a fall from a chair or couch.
Her interactions:
Flower cowers. She has been with me for two months now and still hides in her box. She does enjoy her morning treats (second breakfast). She will approach for treats. She is very intelligent and recognizes the treat bag. Once she has her treats, she returns to her box.
I do put the treats in a trail to get her to leave her room and praise her and give pets. She always returns to her box after treats.
If you hold your hand out for her to investigate, she will headbutt your hand when she wants pets. She likes head scritches. Sometimes she will lick your hand.
She does not walk around while I am in the room.
She very rarely will eat in front of me except for treats.
I have given her full access to the upstairs of my house to explore. She very rarely leaves her room. She prefers to stay in her safe space.
She requires a lot of patience. She saw me outside for 6 years feeding her and talking to her. It took her 6 years to go into the trap for help. She has been here for two months and still has not come out of her shell.
We had a visitor two weeks ago. She was terrified and hid. This is a cat who will hide for several weeks or months. She will not come up to you. Cats like Flower sit in shelters forever before adopted because they are scared. Cats like Flower are euthanized in shelters.
Flower’s preference is to sit next to you while you pet her, and she purrs.
Flower does not play with toys, probably due to her medical issues. She does have a few stuffies she likes to cuddle. Her stuffies, blankets, carrier, cat bed, etc. will go with her to her forever home.
Her injuries and mobility:
Flower is at least 12 years old, estimated by the vet. The vet’s exact words for her are “geriatric special needs.” She was in a home for the first 5 years of her life before she was kicked out, used as bait, and then outside for 6 years before I could trap her. For more on being used as bait, read part one.
Her dental health in general is good. She is missing one upper canine.
Her entire pelvis was crushed. This is why she cannot jump or climb. She can run.
She has a stub tail. It is unknown at this point why. She does wag her tail when you pet her and when she is happy.
She had severe injuries to her right arm and arthritis has set in. The entire reason why I trapped her was because she was limping. She needs extra heat. She has a heat disc I heat for her twice a day and put in her cat bed that will go with her to her forever home.
You need to keep an eye on her movements for any limping. She will need further treatment for that injury. It is unclear at this time if the vet can do something for the arthritis or if there is a possibility she would need to be a tripod. Any adopter needs to keep an eye on her for limping and be prepared for ongoing medical needs if she needs arthritis injections/treatment or potential surgery.
Her eating and toileting:
Due to her injuries and mobility issues, Flower’s food and water dishes should be elevated. I have a pet shelf that is being used for this purpose. It will go with her to her forever home.
She eats and drinks normally. She is on a schedule for breakfast.
She is not on a set schedule for dinner yet. We are still working on that.
She toilets normally. Be aware that due to her mobility issues, she should have a cat pan with a low step-in / step-out. You should consider one of the cat pans for senior cats or even for kittens to meet her needs.
She does groom herself but also needs help. She is not physically able to use cat scratchers either vertical or horizontal – both have been provided. You will need to keep up on keeping her nails trimmed. She does not like her nails trimmed. I am working with her on this – trying to pet paws to get used to being handled, etc. Please be aware she may bite you when you cut her nails because she does not like it. This is the only time she has ever shown any aggression.
Flower allows all pets and handling. It is very easy to put her in a carrier for transport. The vet office was surprised at how easy she was to handle. This cat is NOT feral and never was. She is severely traumatized. She cooperated with the vet visit much more than expected and they were able to do a lot.
This is the most submissive cat I have ever seen, and I used to volunteer in a shelter.
My Thoughts
I’m not going to lie. This is hard for me emotionally. I want to keep Flower. I wish I could keep Flower. I cannot keep her and it breaks my heart. Flower needs a forever home and it’s not mine. There are three reasons I can’t keep her:
Flower needs to be the only pet in a home. It is not fair to Flower for her to live here permanently when she is obviously scared of other cats. (It’s also very hard on me and the house cats to have her separated).
I can’t keep them all safe. We have been physically injured by the neighbors since I reported the dog fighting ring. Battery is not a crime in NYS. Read more about the dog fighting ring in part one. Bottom line, the neighbor attacks are ongoing and continuous. I struggle to keep myself and my three house cats safe. Basically, I can’t. We have been physically injured by the neighbors and needed medical care twice. There is no way I can keep Flower safe too. The local government and sheriff department refuse to do anything about the criminal harassment we are experiencing. I have experienced retaliation for complaining.
We are living in an ongoing pandemic. I am one of the ones that is supposed to “fall by the wayside.” I have had medical professionals and multiple people in the community tell me to my face that I need to hurry up and die already. I don’t want to die. I love being alive. Specifically, I need to outlive my cats to keep them all together. You have heard of bonded duos. I truly have a bonded trio with my house cats. There is no way I can take on a 4th. I very much worry about what will happen to my cats if something happens to me.
Flower needs a forever home where she will be loved and cherished like she deserves. She should be in an experienced cat home that can meet her needs. She needs to be an only pet as she is so scared of other cats. Finding her a forever home is like finding a needle in a haystack. I have no shelter, rescue or anyone helping with this.
Combine that with the fact I am immune compromised and have a disability that impacts my driving. No, I cannot drive hours for her to meet you. I can do about an hour drive on a good way. I am willing to try to coordinate transport for her to a forever home. It will be challenging.
I can tell you right now a “meet and greet” with Flower will fail spectacularly. She will be terrified and hide. She may hide from you for weeks or months when you adopt her. Are you prepared for that? Or are you going to get frustrated, kick her out, give her back or give her up to be killed?
She needs a forever home with someone with A LOT of patience who is prepared to take on a cat who has experienced severe abuse at the hands of humans and has trust issues. She has ongoing medical needs.
Flower needs a very special retirement home.
Since it is just me helping her, any potential adopters will be very thoroughly vetted. Expect to have multiple conversations and provide references. Every single human has let this cat down. I am not going to let her down. I am doing everything I can to set her up for success in a forever home.
Please also understand how hard this is for me. I never fostered before. I was shocked when the shelter said they would not help an injured animal. I couldn’t just turn away. I had to help. I trapped her. I’m giving her a home right now, but this is not the best for her permanently.
I would love to keep her, but I truly believe based on her behavior, she needs to be in an only pet home. Part of me still has hope she will relax and stop hissing at my house cats and accept them, but the reality is, she fears them, no matter how friendly and welcoming they are. Flower would be most comfortable as an only pet.
I am very attached to her. Every cat I have ever adopted has been for life. Fostering is hard. I did not expect this. I thought the shelter would take her when I reported her injured. I have no regrets about helping her, but this is hard. I love her so much, but I know I am not the best forever home for her.
I am open to SERIOUS inquiries for a forever home for her. If you have made it this far, thank you for caring enough to read.
Flower has been mentioned in this blog on and off for the past six years. For the most recent post about Flower, see Last Stray Surviving. For more background about the active dog fighting ring and how I found out about it, see Clare’s Story.
The dog fighting ring has been reported, but nothing is being done about it. The SPCA and the Sheriff Department state that it brings in too much money. People bet on dog fighting. When asked about the cat used as bait for the dog fighting ring, both the SPCA and the Sheriff’s Department have said, verbatim, “cats don’t feel pain.” This is how they justify animal abuse. Of course, this is false. Cats do feel pain.
The local SPCA fired their humane officer and is set to close. While they have not publicly admitted it, I am wondering if this is due to their inaction about the dog fighting ring. I did not know there was a dog fighting ring here until I found a spray-painted cat (see Clare’s Story) taking refuge on my front porch. Since Clare, I have trapped and gotten four cats to rescue.
Flower is the last cat in this area to help. As described in Last Stray Surviving, Flower had lived in the house next door. The dog was taken for neglect and Flower was kicked out of the house, as the local SPCA does not care about the welfare of cats. Those neighbors have since moved. Flower has been on her own outside since being kicked out of her home.
She often takes refuge in my garage where I provide food, water, and insulated cat shelters to try to help the cats trying to evade being used as bait for the dog fighting ring. Members of the dog fighting ring often cruise throughout the village saying “here kitty, kitty” trying to trap their next victim.
A few years ago, I saw that Flower had been spray painted and had a broken front arm. She had been used as bait for the dog fighting ring. I tried to trap her to get her medical care. I was unsuccessful. I have trapped and gotten four other cats to rescue. It was always whoever went into the trap was rescued. Flower never went into the trap.
In addition to the SPCA that is closing and says, “cats don’t feel pain,” there is a small non-profit cat rescue in my area that is run completely by volunteers. It is the rescue from which Simon was adopted. They are the rescue that helped me with three of the cats I trapped. In fact, it is that small non-profit rescue who told me that cats were spray-painted when they are being used as bait for dog fighting rings. I never would have known there was a dog fighting ring here if not for that first spray-painted cat.
Anytime I trapped a cat to take to rescue was when this small cat shelter had room. They know I am trying to help the cats here escape the dog fighting ring so they are not used as bait. They would say they had a space. I would set the trap. Whoever went into the trap went to rescue.
The fourth cat, Kenny, was super friendly and young. She was one of two kittens that had been thrown out of a pickup truck here. I was worried about her being easy to pick up as bait for the dog fighting ring. The small rescue here that had taken the other three cats was full. Through the power of Cats of Twitter, I was able to trap Kenny and get her to a rescue about three hours away from me. She is now in a loving forever home.
Flower is the only stray left.
Every time I walk into my kitchen, I look out the window for Flower. When it rains, I see her taking refuge in my garage. I take fresh food and water out to the garage every morning. Flower hides under my car. I talk to her. We have been doing this for six years. Over time, she has gradually let me get closer to her, but did not allow touching yet.
About two weeks ago, I looked out the window, and Flower was noticeably limping. She was favoring her front right arm. She was struggling to run, which is a bad sign when there is a dog fighting ring looking for bait.
I contacted the small shelter that helped me with the other cats. They are full. They do not respond to injured cats. The SPCA that is closing is responsible for responding to injured animals. Their response? “It’s fine. She’ll adapt.” They also indicated that if they sent out a deputy that Flower would be shot as a mercy killing for an injured animal.
This cat should not be shot and killed. This cat needs help.
So Flower limped along and everyone in this neighborhood smiled and nodded seeing an animal in pain. The neighbors around me love seeing people and animals in pain. If you read my other posts about the attacks and physical injuries the neighbors have inflicted on me and my house cats, you know they are sadists.
Call me stupid, but seeing an animal in pain is very distressing to me. I could not just watch her limp and do nothing.
So even though the rescue is full and won’t take her, I set the trap. Flower is injured and needs medical care.
I honestly did not expect to trap her. I have not been able to trap her for six years. I was not able to trap her when she had visible broken bones after being used as bait for the dog fighting ring.
I must have caught every cat in the village in my live trap. Of course, I released them all. Some even had collars. No wonder I’ve been going through so much cat food for the outside cats! I’ve been feeding every outside cat in the village.
Trapping is very hard on me physically due to my disability. I said that after day five, I would stop trapping. I haven’t been able to trap Flower for six years. If I couldn’t get her now after five days, I would stop.
When the trap was set for those five days, the only food dish in the garage was inside the trap. I was literally starving her out. If she wanted food to eat, she needed to go into the trap. I know I am Flower’s only food source. I see her every day.
It was about lunchtime on day five when my security camera picked up Flower sneaking into the garage. Those days when they trap was set, Flower did not come around much. She gets overwhelmed with a lot of other cats, and there was so many cats coming to the garage for food and going into the trap instead!
I waited a bit and went into the garage on the afternoon of day five. Flower was in the trap!
I quickly brought her into my basement where I have a dog cage set up with cat pan, food, water, blankets, etc that I use when I trap cats. The cats I have trapped have stayed with me anywhere from 2-7 days depending on when I can coordinate transfer to the rescue, so that is where Flower went.
The day I caught Flower was a Sunday afternoon. I called the vet office first thing Monday morning and was able to get her in to be seen Monday afternoon due to her injuries.
The shelter is full. I never would have trapped a cat with the shelter being full except this cat is injured. I only trapped her because she is injured and needs help.
For the record, the shelter will no longer respond to me. They will not help with any advice or support for fostering, they are not helping to find her a home. Nothing. I am 100% responsible for helping this injured cat. I am responsible for her medical bills, care, fostering and trying to find her an appropriate forever home. I did the right thing and have no regrets, but way to shit on a person for doing the right thing. I’ve been completely abandoned by the shelter that had been helping me with the cats being used as bait for the dog fighting ring because they are full.
I cannot take on a fourth cat for multiple reasons. I cannot do this long term.
Here is what is happening with Flower medically and her status:
I am fostering her until I can find her an appropriate forever home.
Right now, I am so overwhelmed with her care, my three house cats, working full time, and just life, that I don’t have enough spoons to find her a forever home. I need help. This is a lot of time and energy for someone who struggles with their every day.
I was correct that Flower is the cat from the house next door that was kicked out and those people moved years ago. I thought she was about 7 years old. The vet said she is at least 12 years old. She is geriatric. She is a spayed female. Well, they confirmed female. They did not shave her to look for the tattoo for the spay, but there have not been any kittens. Based on what one of the children told me before they moved, I’m pretty sure she is spayed.
She is riddled with fleas. They gave her flea treatment, worm treatments, rabies vaccine, distemper, etc.
Flower is very gentle and sweet. She allows pets. She did extremely well with all handling at the vet office. They said they can’t handle feral cats how they handled her – this cat is NOT feral!
She just needs love and patience. They were able to do more for her than expected. We were there for a long time and it totally put the vet schedule off because they were able to do so much with her. She even behaved better than Jude when he goes to the vet.
They said her teeth are ok. She is missing an upper canine tooth.
They did a blood test for feline leukemia and feline AIDS. Both test came back negative.
She does not have a microchip. I told them I thought she would scan to the house next door, but there is no microchip.
They gave her medication at the vet office for her injuries. She ate it in baby food. They sent me home with medication to give her the next 3 days.
Injuries —
She has injuries to her hind legs up into her pelvis. The vet thinks these are old injuries. The limp I am seeing is that there is an injury to her right elbow. Again, the vet thinks this is an old injury. What it looks like is one dog attacked her hind end and the other one grabbed her right arm.
Anyways, the vet says that they are old injuries, however, the injury to the right elbow is what is causing the limp I am seeing and caught on video. She thinks that arthritis has set in, given her age, living outside and the weather getting colder.
Flower needs to be kept in an inside home. She will need a home that can handle a geriatric special needs cat and will need additional care to more properly ascertain the extent of her injuries and how to make her comfortable.
For now, she has pain medication and is fine in the dog cage with movement restricted. I did heat up the heat disc I had been using for her outside and put that in with her. I am trying to provide her with as much extra warmth as possible for arthritis. She is still hiding in the cat pan, which is normal behavior the first few days after trapping. She is traumatized with the whole situation.
The vet office does not normally help to find animals homes. That’s not what they do. However, now that they have examined her and see she is a geriatric special needs cat, they are going to try to help see if they can help me figure something out.
I am thinking that her issues are basically going to be mobility issues given her injuries, but I’m not 100% certain. At some point, she will need full blood testing for kidneys, thyroid, etc.
So, Flower is currently with me as a foster situation. For those of you who follow us on Twitter (and now Bluesky), I have been posting an Evening Foster Flower update daily. She has been with me for about a week now.
This obviously is an ongoing issue, which is why this is part one. Flower was injured. The shelter was going to euthanize her. I trapped her and got her medical care.
She will need a very special forever home who can handle a special needs geriatric cat who is completely traumatized from being used as a bait cat.
Despite her horrible life, Flower is a sweet and loving cat. She is very submissive and allows all handling. She will need a patient home with a lot of love.
Now that Flower has been trapped, I am no longer putting food and water out in my garage for the outside cats. Many of the cats who were in the trap had collars. They are not homeless. I am leaving the insulated cat shelters for anyone who needs them.
Yes, we have an active dog fighting ring here that is still looking for bait. I have now trapped and helped five cats’ escape. I can’t do any more. Especially now that I am fostering Flower, I just can’t help anymore. I am surprised and dismayed that there is no help for injured animals here. If you find an injured animal, you are 100% responsible for it. I do not regret getting Flower medical care, but trying to foster a fourth cat is very, very hard.
When Flower needs further medical care, I will probably set up a GFM for help. The extent of her medical issues is not yet known. This is going to be ongoing. Her initial vet visit was for the arm injury, vaccines, etc.
I will need help finding her an appropriate forever home. I am trying to think about what that looks like, the process for finding her a home and vetting a home. Right now I am so overwhelmed with the day to day.
The good news is, I no longer must worry about outside cats. I had been worried that if my house cats and I need to evacuate our home due to imminent risk of physical injuries from neighbor attacks, that I would not be able to help the outside cats. Now that Flower has been trapped, I only must worry about keeping everyone safe who is under my roof.
The neighbors are an ongoing problem and continue to threaten our safety daily.
Flower needs a forever home. I can’t keep her. Right now I am focusing on the health and safety of everyone in this house.
So this is part one of Flower’s story. I’m sure there will be a part two, as she needs a forever home that can meet her needs. I cannot keep myself and four cats safe from the attacks from the neighbors.
Today is Simon’s Gotcha Day. He was adopted from the shelter and brought home 7 years ago today. Simon was a year and a half at adoption. Today he is 8.5 years old.
I met Simon at the shelter in October and had been approved for his adoption. However, with Halloween on October 31, I asked the shelter if they could keep him until November 1. I did not want to have a new cat in the house getting used to new surroundings being further traumatized by Halloween. I figured it would be safer for him to just stay in the shelter until the day after so he could come home to a calm environment to get acclimated to his new home.
Kitty had passed away in the spring of 2017, and I had not planned on adopting again. I told Jude he was going to be an only child. However, despite playing with Jude every day and spending as much time with him as I could, I could tell that he needed more stimulation and interaction than I was able to provide. Yes, he mourned Kitty’s passing, but he was lonely too.
I had a student who was doing a job shadow at the animal shelter with one of the veterinarians. I had to do a site visit for the students doing job shadows. That was how I met Simon. Jude had been begging for a new companion, and when I met Simon, I knew he was the one.
Simon was 1.5 years old at the time, he was younger than I was thinking. After living through kitten phase with Kitty and Kip, I now prefer to adopt older cats. However, even though he was a young 1.5 years old, Simon was the perfect companion for Jude.
Simon is our Chief Cuddler. Everyone loves Simon. He gets along so well with both Jude and Jolene. Simon is very loving. He sleeps with me every night. He is often right next to my pillow or right up beside me near my shoulders.
The only challenge with Simon is that he is painfully shy. When he goes to the vet office, he behaves well. He is very sweet. He allows them to examine him and do his vaccines. However, Simon prefers to hide. He is very shy.
Simon is shy to the point that no one other than the vet has ever seen Simon in person. Anytime someone comes to the house, Simon hides. His preferred hiding place is the cupboard under the kitchen sink. I even had someone who came to the house once a week for a year when Simon was adopted to help me with things, and that person never saw Simon.
A few years ago, I was very ill. A friend came over to the house daily to help me with feeding the cats. She never saw Simon either. He would not even come out to eat. She had to put his food dish in the cupboard under the sink to get him to eat. She never actually saw Simon.
It worries me he is so shy because if something ever happens to me, I don’t know how Simon would cope. Obviously, he is okay with me and loves me. This is his home, and I am his person. But if something happens to me, someone is going to have to be painfully patient with his level of shyness.
Jolene goes right up to people. She is super friendly and must be in the middle of everything. Jude is food motivated. If you give him something to eat, he will be your best friend. Simon has never come out of hiding for anyone, even with people who visit regularly.
You would never know how shy Simon is based on his popularity on social media.
Simon is so sweet and loving. I feel so fortunate to be his human and that he chose to open to me when I met him at the shelter.
When I adopted Simon, I literally picked him up from the shelter after work on November 1, and we had a vet appointment for his first well visit. He went from the shelter to the vet to home. He was the cleanest and most well taken care of cat I have ever adopted from a shelter. When he had his well visit immediately upon leaving the shelter, he had no fleas, no ear mites, was neutered and up to date on vaccines.
Of course, I did the slow introduction process with Jude and Simon. It went easy and well due to the bonus fact that Simon was so healthy and did not need to be medically quarantined to avoid giving something to Jude.
In fact, Jude and Simon were playing “paws” under the door much more quickly than I would have thought. Their “slow introduction” process was the fastest of any cats I’ve had, and it was all on their schedule.
Simon is the baby of the family, and everyone loves Simon. He is such a snuggle bug. He also loves to play with both Jude and Jolene. He keeps this house full of love.
Simon is his own cat and has a unique personality. In addition to being painfully shy, he is also afraid of lawnmowers and thunderstorms. Simon hides when he is scared.
As baby of the family, Simon rarely performs coworker duties. When he does appear in the office, it is usually because it is close to mealtime or quitting time. Simon has started spending the last hour of work in the office with me. He knows when work is over, we all go downstairs, and it is family time.
Simon brings so much love to our home. I’m glad Jude prodded me into getting him a companion instead of leaving him as an only child. Simon is truly the heart of our family.
Happy Gotcha Day, Simon! We are so happy you are with us here in your forever home. I am very glad you chose me to be your mom. Simon is a good baby and we love him.
Clare is the cat that started all the neighbor drama. I had seen her briefly throughout the fall and winter of 2021. I figured she was homeless. Who in their right mind would let an indoor/outdoor cat outside in weather that was 20 degrees below zero (Fahrenheit)? No one. Seeing Clare outside is what prompted me to start providing insulated cat shelters to try to help her until I could figure out what to do.
I do know there are some “community cats.” There is the concept of trap-neuter-release. I do understand TNR on some level, but at the same time, I strongly feel that every cat deserves a loving home. It is not their fault they are homeless and on the streets. I also am strongly against animal cruelty. If I see an animal in pain or distress, I am going to do what I can to help.
One day in winter (now 2022), Clare appeared on my front porch and appeared to have been spray painted green. It was honestly hard to tell against the backdrop of the green outside carpet on my porch. However, when I saw Clare outside against the white of snow, it was obvious she was spray painted green. Why? Why would someone spray paint a cat? To me, this seemed strange. It also felt like animal abuse to me. Cats should not be spray painted. In addition to being spray painted green, Clare appeared to have injuries to her back end that were difficult to see from a distance, but obvious when she was walking.
Locally, our SPCA and Sheriff Department have the authority to investigate and respond to animal cruelty cases. I reached out to the SPCA and explained the situation to them. I let them know that Clare appeared to be injured on her back end and should receive medical care. The SPCA told me that the injuries and spray painting were all normal for outside cats and that “she would adapt.” After all, the person laughed, “cats don’t feel pain.”
As a cat mom of over 20 years, I found this to be alarming. Cats do feel pain. There was something wrong with this situation. I started to research how to trap outside cats so that I could catch Clare and get her medical attention. I also started calling around to all other animal shelters and rescues within a 50-mile radius. Many told me that I was out of their area. Shelters only cover a certain geographic area – typically the county in which they are located.
Then I happened to remember that there is a second cat shelter in my county that is a small, private non-profit. I reached out to them and explained the situation. The people at this rescue were appalled at the situation. They explained to me that cats are typically spray painted when they are used as bait for dog fighting rings. It is rare to find spray painted cats, as they are almost always killed as part of the dog fighting ring. However, finding a spray-painted cat is a clear indication that there is an active dog fighting ring in the area.
The non-profit rescue (called SNAP) lent me a humane trap and worked with me to trap Clare. They took her in, got her medical care, and she became part of their rescue. The veterinarians who volunteer their time and services there confirmed that her injuries were consistent with being used as bait in a dog fighting ring, and that there were other, older injuries present as well.
After getting Clare to rescue, I started to notice other outside cats hanging around that seemed homeless. Almost all of them appeared with injuries to their back ends like what I had seen on Clare.
I reached out to SNAP again. Since taking Clare into rescue, they have taken an additional four cats from me that I have been able to trap. They have given them all medical care and they have been adopted into loving homes. One older cat, Tom, is even called the King of Main Street! He lives on Main Street with his owner and looks out the window at everyone walking by. People like to wave at him. His owner says he is the perfect lap cat.
For everyone says that “Community cats” should be left outside in colonies as part of TNR, I respectfully disagree.
There are now two cats left. Flower was kicked out from the house next door and they have since moved. I estimate Flower to be at least 6-7 years old. All the times I have set the traps for outside cats, I have yet to catch Flower. It has always been whichever cat ends up in the trap is the one that goes to rescue. Flower has never gone into the trap. I wish she would.
A few years ago, she showed up with a broken front leg one winter. I still could not trap her to get her medical care.
A small dark tabby has appeared this summer. I call him Crosby. He is cross-eyed and has the same injuries to his back end that were seen on Clare and all of the others. Crosby is young – he is playful as a kitten. He chases squirrels and leaves. I estimate him to be one year old at most.
Flower and Crosby are the last two cats remaining to trap and get to safety. The problem is that SNAP is full. They have been full for a year now. All the local shelters are full.
SNAP knows that Flower and Crosby are here. They know there is a dog fighting ring. However, they cannot take either Crosby or Flower due to no space.
Since my interaction with the SPCA, a few things have happened on the dog fighting ring front. First, it was in the news this summer that the SPCA fired their humane officer and is in danger of closing. They did not give explicit details, but I am wondering if it has anything to do with the refusal to look into the dog fighting ring or active involvement.
The second thing is that I had an interaction with the Sheriff department last year regarding animal cruelty. The officer accused me of lying. They said that it is no big deal because “cats don’t feel pain.” They used that exact phrase. It’s the same phrase the SPCA used when I had called them originally to report a spray-painted cat with injuries.
“Cats don’t feel pain,” is the exact phrase that law enforcement is using to justify animal cruelty.
SNAP knows that Flower and Crosby are here and will let me know when they have space to take one of them. When they do have space, I will set the live trap. Whoever goes into the live trap goes to rescue.
The challenge is that SNAP has been full and does not show signs of having space any time soon.
I am willing to trap either Flower or Crosby to get them to a loving home if I can find someone to take one or both that is trustworthy. The challenges with that are: one, finding someone willing to take one of them and two, properly vetting any potential person would provide a safe home. We are already dealing with a dog fighting ring here. I don’t want Flower or Crosby to go to a home where they will be abused, tortured or murdered.
Given the abuse we have been experiencing with the neighbors since June 2023, we may have to move. If we do move, I want to get Flower and Crosby off the streets before we leave this house. Even if we do not leave this house, I want to get Flower and Crosby off the streets. But if we need to move for our own safety, then it will lend even more urgency to getting Flower and Crosby to safety.
I am not going to leave this house and leave them behind to fend for themselves. My garage is a place of refuge for them where they get fresh food and water every day and there are insulated cat shelters to help them survive winter.
For Flower specifically, based on how I see her act outside, I think she would do best in a home that does not have a lot of other cats. Flower is okay with Crosby. However, she seems to get overwhelmed if there are a lot of other cats around. Flower would be okay as an only or with one other cat who was not aggressive. She is very shy. That brings a challenge also.
In getting back to Clare’s story, I wonder if the fact I reported a dog fighting ring is what prompted the attacks we are experiencing from the neighbors that are causing our physical injuries. They are retaliating against me for my report by physically attacking me and injuring me and my inside cats.
In addition, why do they need to play music so loud? Is the loud music masking the sounds of the dog fighting ring when they have an active fight going on? I don’t have an answer. That is speculation.
The only thing I know for certain is that I found a spray-painted cat with injuries. Since then, I have found other cats with injuries too. I have trapped them as I am able and gotten them to medical care. I provide my garage as a safe place of refuge. That is the best I can do.
If you have any leads to get Flower and / or Crosby off the streets, I am open. The closest cities to me are Ithaca / Binghamton, NY. Please be aware that I will thoroughly vette any potential home. If I catch them and get them to someone privately, I will have very high standards for a potential home. To be honest, I am not comfortable trying to home them myself, as I am worried about putting them in a bad situation. However, with SNAP being full, I am open to ideas to help get them into safe homes.
The problem with the neighbors started with Clare. Of course, it did not start with Clare herself. The neighborhood here is very bad. Clare just brought to my attention that something is wrong, and I reported it. Ever since, I have been dealing with harassment from the neighbors for reporting. The loud music could potentially be to cover up the dog fighting ring.
I have no regrets about reporting Clare’s injuries, trapping her, or getting her to safety. I have no regrets about getting any of the five cats I have helped get to safety. There is still Flower and Crosby left to help.
When I bought this house 6 years ago, I had such high hopes having finally achieved the American Dream. The very first thought I had was, “we will never be homeless again. This is our forever home.” I was very eager to integrate into my new community. I walked to one of the local churches, frequented the library and started the book club there. I drafted a business plan to open a new business on Main Street and was in the process of securing funding to start the new venture when the pandemic hit.
The American Dream quickly turned into the American Nightmare once it became apparent how horrible the people are in this village, and how dangerous the people are who live on this street.
Over the years, I have documented numerous incidents of property damage. I have filed police reports regarding the damages and have receipts for repairs. Every time I must pay to make a repair to my property due to intentional damage caused, it takes away from funds I use to make upgrades to my home.
During the time I have owned this home, I have made numerous upgrades to the property. A real estate agent last fall (2023) told me that with the upgrades I have made to the home, I had added at least $10,000 in value to this house. However, that would only be if the house was in a nice, respectable neighborhood instead of the one in which I am located.
When the real estate agent did the appraisal for how much I could sell the house for, the bad neighbors have driven down my property value by over $20,000. One of the questions the real estate agent asked me when coming to view the house for valuation was, “do the neighbors have indoor plumbing?” How am I to know? What kind of a question is that?
You see, the reason why the real estate agent asked this question is because last summer they built an outhouse directly against my garage. My garage is the “fourth wall” that makes up their outhouse. The outhouse receives regular use, and the smell of human waste is strong every time you are outside on this property. I have no idea if those people have indoor plumbing or not. At the very least, it is obvious they no longer have an indoor toilet.
I had absolutely no idea things like that could drive down my property value. However, that is only one small item of the bigger issues driving down my property value.
The real estate agent who came to do the valuation said I would need to do a “bad neighbor” disclosure if I sell the house. It should have been done when I bought the house. It was not. I think part of the issue is that the person who owned this house passed away and left it to his grandchildren who do not live here. They probably had no idea how dangerous this neighborhood really is when they sold the home that was left to them as an inheritance.
The real estate agent said that they only show homes in this area in pairs for safety reasons. There are numerous complaints from people on my street and surrounding streets regarding noise and other concerns.
Here is the root cause of the problem. Noise.
There is a possibility we may not even be in this house next year to celebrate another House-iversary. To be honest, today is no celebration. This house has turned into an American Nightmare.
While property damage is annoying and costly, I draw the line when someone physically injures me and those I love.
Last year I was physically injured as a direct result of the neighbors’ actions. One of the cats was also. We had to seek medical care. The cat had to go to the vet, and I had to go to the doctors. Our ear drums were ruptured. I am still having problems from it. It impacted my work and my everyday life. All my paid time off from work was used last summer dealing with our injuries as a direct result of their actions. I had to pay out of pocket for medical care and anything with ears and hearing is not covered.
Without going into all the details of this dangerous situation, I have learned that there is no way to get these people to stop. They are sadists who enjoy causing pain and injury to other people and animals. I reached out to a lawyer last fall, in September, who said I have a very strong case for battery with plenty of third-party evidence. However, battery is not a crime in New York. A lawsuit will not stop them from continuing to injure us.
I don’t want.to be injured again.
There is no noise ordinance here. The village does not feel the need for a noise ordinance. Their exact words were: “well, I don’t have to live there.” They don’t want working people like me who are trying to upgrade properties and open new businesses in the village. I am the undesirable in this situation.
The bottom line is that we were injured. This is unacceptable. It is not safe here.
Since there is no way to get the behavior to stop, the only way to keep us safe from physical harm is to leave. That’s why I contacted a real estate agent about selling the house. How much can I get for the house if I sell it and move? I need to pay off the mortgage.
The problem is this neighborhood is so bad, they have driven down my property value. All the upgrades I have made mean nothing in a location this bad. The real estate agent told me to stop putting money into the house and making upgrades. They said any more upgrades I do is not going to make a difference to the selling price on a street this bad.
Unfortunately, they have driven down my property value to the point where I would have to do a short sale to sell the house. That means, I can no longer sell it for a price that would pay off my mortgage. The mortgage company would need to approve the sale at a price less than the house is worth (by about $30,000). The mortgage company will not approve a short sale. The real estate agent says it has been taking twice as long for houses to sell here than any other place in the county due to the bad neighborhood. There are complaints of excessive noise, cars doing burnouts, unattended children and drugs. (I have no idea about anything other than the noise).
If this house was in a better neighborhood, I would have no problem selling it. The real estate agent says it has “curb appeal.” With the upgrades I made, I would be able to sell the house at a profit – if it was in a better neighborhood that did not have neighbors with this extreme noise problem that bothers everyone on the street and even on adjoining and parallel streets (it’s that loud).
House-iversary is no longer an annual celebration of finding our forever home so we would never be homeless again. While I love this house, it is completely unacceptable for my cats and I to live in fear because we never know when we are going to be attacked and physically injured again. We cannot control the behavior of bad neighbors. The only thing I can do is leave to keep us safe.
This is the most dangerous place I have ever lived in my life. I can’t even enjoy my own property. I go outside to garden and am instantly hit by the smell of human waste. I never know when they will blare their music. There were 5 days in July where I got a grand total of 15 hours of sleep. I am starting a new work position also. It is very hard to go on 3 hours of sleep per day. Their behavior disrupts my life.
Most of the music comes from cars. On highways, there are signs saying vehicle noise is not supposed to be above 70 decibels. I wish I lived on a highway. The motor vehicle law does not apply to the village in which I live.
In this village, it is perfectly acceptable for music to be well higher than the 70-decibel state law at all hours of the day or night.
Thanksgiving 2023 I had arranged everything with someone in a different time zone over zoom and we coordinated our meals. When we went to sit down to eat, the music started and lasted for hours. What was supposed to be a family celebration ended up being yet another nightmare. We could see each other, but there was no prayer before the meal, no conversation, no nothing. All that planning for a family event was ruined. The music was coming from a vehicle parked across the street. They must have had family over for their Thanksgiving that they hated and did not want to talk to. Nothing could be heard over the noise even if you screamed (which we tried).
I do go outside, but I must be careful when I go out. I always must look to see who is out to decide if it is safe for me to go out. Many times, when they have these parties, there are well over 50 people. If I am attacked, there is no one to help me. No one would respond if I were attacked on the street. We had one set of neighbors next door who were friendly and who had the same problems with the noise as we do. They moved in June. They told me they could not spend another summer like the one we had last year with the noise.
We may not be here next year. The hardest part is trying to figure out – where will we go? The mortgage company will not allow a short sale. So, once I figure out where we will go, we will have to leave the house, and I will probably have to voluntarily allow it to go into foreclosure. It will be the only way to get my name off the mortgage since the mortgage company will not approve a short sale. I cannot afford two residences, and we are not safe here.
When I think about allowing the house to go into foreclosure, it breaks my heart. It makes me feel like they have won. They have driven us out of our forever home by their actions. I have dreams of updating and improving this house and that will all be gone. I had wanted to be a valued member of the community by starting the book club and opening a business. The reality is that we were physically injured last year. There is no way to get their behavior to stop.
This may be the last House-iversary post as the American Dream is now the American Nightmare. The future is bleak. The choices are homelessness or be physically injured again. Neither choice is appealing.
I know, I know. This is a minimalist blog with a post about a lifetime supply. Lifetime supply implies a large quantity of items possessed and stored. It’s true. I do have one item of which I have a lifetime supply. It’s a small item, and it helps to bring me comfort and peace in challenging times. It’s a thing that is going to sound weird but hear me out.
Toothbrushes.
Yes, toothbrushes. No, I am not insane.
To be optimistic, my personal goal is to stay alive for 15 more years. I want to outlive my cats. It’s becoming ever more challenging to stay alive in an ongoing pandemic. This year has been especially challenging since the Fauci speech about “falling by the wayside” giving people permission to tell other people to die right to their face.
This very instance happened to me three times in June. Two of those people were unmasked medical professionals. One said, “no one should be wearing a mask. Covid is over. You should have been dead by now.” A second unmasked health professional said to me, “why aren’t you dead yet? People like you should die.” I’m very happy to be alive. I work. I own a home. I pay taxes. I feel that I contribute positively to society. Even if I don’t, I just enjoy being alive.
While my optimistic goal is to live for 15 more years, it is more realistic in the ongoing eugenics and genocide in this country that I may be able to live for 5 more years. If I’m lucky. We will see.
So, when I talk about having a lifetime supply, I’m going with the optimistic goal of 15 years. If you change your toothbrush once every 3 months as recommended, then that is 60 toothbrushes over the next 15 years.
Of course, every time you go to the dentist, they give you a free toothbrush. So that is at least one free toothbrush a year, depending on how often you go. (I used to go twice a year pre-pandemic, but these past few years have been challenging,)
Using the conservative estimate of one free toothbrush a year, that means that 45 toothbrushes will need to be purchased over the next 15 years.
How exactly did I fall into this trap of a lifetime supply of toothbrushes?
Well, I needed to purchase toothbrushes. While choosing toothbrushes to buy, I was looking at unit price. I was trying to decide more between the 2-pack, 4-pack or 6-pack of toothbrushes. I was thinking I just need a package of toothbrushes and trying to decide which package was cheapest.
Then I saw a package of 25 toothbrushes. Figuring out the unit price. I could not believe how much more affordable it was to buy them in bulk. It worked out to be .52 cents each. I bought the box of 25 and put them in the cupboard.
Then I was thinking that maybe I should buy a second box since the price was so good. I had taken a toothbrush out of the box and started using it. I wanted to be sure that it was a good toothbrush and not just some cheap one. The toothbrushes work well. I like the way the handle is angled to be able to reach my teeth better.
I purchased a second box of toothbrushes since they work well, and the price is right. I was thinking that I won’t ever have to worry about buying a toothbrush again. I now have enough toothbrushes to last me until I die.
It sounds so simple, but it’s one less thing to worry about.
Now I realize this all has been a little morbid, but there is a spot of happiness. When I open the cupboard to brush my teeth and see those boxes there, I know it’s a lifetime supply. Seeing all those toothbrushes, I think, “well, I’ve got quite a bit of living to do.” It lifts my spirits to think that my life is going to be long enough to be able to go through all those toothbrushes. I’m sure I will think differently once I am down to one box instead of two, but for now they bring me hope.
Every time someone tells me I should die, or I don’t deserve to live, I can look at that lifetime supply of toothbrushes. I think what a long time I have ahead of me to still use all of them. I love being alive. It’s becoming harder to stay alive, but I enjoy being here.
I have a very full life that I love. I hope I can outlive my cats so I can keep them together. In a world where eugenics and genocide are increasing, sometimes it is hard to remain positive. I’m one of the people that is supposed to “fall by the wayside.” However, I love being alive. I don’t want to die.
While a lifetime supply of toothbrushes may sound weird, to me they are a positive. I look at them and think, “oh, look at all the time I have left to live.” I am so happy to be alive.
Sometimes I think my life has been defined and can be explained by the prevalence or lack of toilet paper. In previous installments, we have discussed how access to toilet paper is often a function of poverty. Being able to purchase toilet paper in bulk in a privilege. There is a cost savings to buying a package of 20 rolls compared to a package of 4 rolls.
I am going to take this one step further and think big: imagine a case of 48 rolls. Now, imagine a case of 48 rolls delivered to your home. You don’t even have to go to the store, perform the acts of tetris required to load it in the car, bring it home and then unload it.
To make this even more exciting, for an ultra-posh, super-rich experience, imagine said box of 48 rolls being delivered to your home on a SCHEDULE. It’s like magic! A case of toilet paper appearing on a regular basis so that you never run out.
This is the ultimate fairytale luxury.
Speaking of luxury, another vivid toilet paper memory I have from my childhood comes from my grandparent’s house. As you’ve read in previous installments, I grew up in poverty. We often did not have any toilet paper or would use other items to substitute like paper towels or Kleenex.
However, I remember that my grandparent’s house always had toilet paper. I loved going there. I also vividly remember that my grandmother always had a roll of “super fluffy” toilet paper that was for her use. Grandchildren would get spoken to if we used too much of it. As a child, I never understood the whole super fluffy toilet paper. Why did she need super fluffy? What was the point?
Now that I am an adult of a certain age, I completely understand why my grandmother had super fluffy toilet paper. When you reach a certain age, fluffy toilet paper becomes something on which you need to splurge.
The past few years I have been splurging on 12 packs of super fluffy toilet paper. I have noticed over the past 2-3 years or so, that even the super fluffy toilet paper is not so fluffy anymore. Quality of toilet paper across the board is declining. However, I need the super fluffy for a comfort issue.
Recently I heard about bamboo toilet paper. Bamboo is a grass and not a tree. It’s supposed to be more sustainable, as grass grows faster than trees. I heard that bamboo toilet paper is supposed to be soft, but is it “super fluffy” soft?
Back to this fairytale luxury of having 48 rolls of toilet paper delivered to your house…
It’s called a toilet paper subscription, and it is a real thing.
I ordered a box, just to try. I am in love. Yes, I did get the bamboo toilet paper. Unlike all other toilet paper that has declined in quality the past few years, bamboo toilet paper is on par with the high-quality toilet paper I remember.
In fact, I will say that bamboo toilet paper is even better than “super fluffy” toilet paper. Believe it or not, bamboo toilet paper is SOFTER than super fluffy toilet paper. It is also the strongest toilet paper I have ever encountered.
Now, I have tried items on subscription before and it is just not for me. For a while, I had shaving razors on subscription. I ended up with way too many razors. I canceled the subscription. I am still using razors I received through the subscription program 2 years later. Other than having our cat food on subscription, there is nothing that I use enough to have on a repeat order.
Enter toilet paper. I now have a toilet paper subscription. Given my personal history with toilet paper, I am thinking this is a subscription that may work for me, we will see if I need to make any adjustments to the frequency or have any issues with it. For now, I have a box of 48 rolls of the best toilet paper I have ever used in my life.
With all the challenges I have had in life, I can now say I have achieved the ultimate luxury of not only not running out of toilet paper but having amazing bamboo toilet paper on subscription. This is truly hitting the jackpot in my life.
Have you tried subscription toilet paper? Thoughts?
rewindliveslow 